Why Does My Ex Keep Sending Mixed Signals?

So they broke up with you… then they call you. They tell you to leave them alone, then you get a late-night text message from them…

What gives? Is your ex just doing all this to torture you, or do they really have some kind of unknown agenda in mind?

Ex Sending Mixed Signals

Mixed signals are some of the hardest things to figure out when dealing with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. The hot-and-cold nature of speaking to someone who isn’t sure of what they want can be confusing and infuriating, not to mention the roller-coaster ride of hope and hopelessness you’re forced to go on when your ex keeps stringing you along.

The first thing to understand here is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also going through a breakup. Just because he or she seemed sure about ending things doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing many of the same things you are.

Heartbreak, loneliness – these things are running through your ex’s mind too. Since they’re the ones who decided to break up, the decision still weighs heavily on them, and usually for some time afterward. Even if your ex started seeing someone new, there will always be lingering emotional ties. And some of these ties will be so strong, that they feel compelled to get in touch with you, or even ask to see you again.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Calls or Texts

Any contact from your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is almost universally a sign of interest. Unless they’re getting back in touch to pick up something they left at your place (and even sometimes then), they’re contacting you because they have a NEED for such contact. This need is fulfilled the minute you pick up the phone or text them back, so you should be very careful with how you respond. If you’re not in agreement with the breakup and really want them back? Answering them right away might seem a little needy or desperate on your part.

The worst thing you could do at this point is ‘chase’ your ex through these hot and cold moments. Because sometimes, all they want from you is the knowledge you’re still there. You’ll get ex boyfriends or girlfriends who give you the:

“Hi! Just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything…”

This is basically for their benefit and not yours; your ex really doesn’t care much about how you’re doing at this point, but care more about whether or not you’re still ‘around’ in case they decide to call off the breakup. Whether you tell them you’re okay or NOT okay doesn’t matter. What matters is you answered them, and this is pretty much all they really wanted.

Another thing an ex will do is try to string you along with stuff like:

“I’ll always love you, but I’m just not in love with you.”

This is the equivalent of putting you on a shelf for later on. You’ve been Friend-Zoned. Put somewhere you have no power, yet still have to answer to your ex if they happen to need you for moral support, a dilemma, or just a shoulder to cry on.

Allow yourself to be put on this shelf, and you’re effectively ending any chance you might have of being with this person again. Because whenever you play the “I’ll be there for you” game, you’re only going to be there when HE or SHE needs you, and not when you need something from them.

Texting Your Ex – What to Do After the Breakup

There are a lot of texts that happen after relationships end, and you should know how to respond to them. Some texts might come off as innocent, but in reality they’re really not.

You can even use other texts to help get your ex back. These you need to know inside and out before you send them however, because not texting your ex the right thing can have big consequences that negatively affect your ability to look positive and favorable in their eyes.

Ultimately, how you handle talking to or even seeing your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is up to you. It eventually boils down to how much you want to include them in your life, or whether you’re trying to cut them loose altogether. Each way, contact should be something you’re careful with. You’ve been hurt once, and you don’t want to get hurt again.

There are 6 Individual Steps necessary to Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend, so find out what they are!

And for women trying to fix a breakup? Check out the same 6 steps with a slightly different perspective at How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.

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3 Horrendous Behaviors Stopping You From Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Still wondering why she broke up with you? If you are, it’s probably because your girl hasn’t given you the real reasons for her not wanting to continue the relationship anyway.

You probably got something like “We’re just not compatible” or “we both want different things”. Or the infamous but ever-popular “I’m just too busy to commit to a relationship right now”, followed four days later by finding out your girlfriend is already dating someone else.

Pushing Girlfriend Away

Even more vague: “I need time alone, to think”. As if your girl was taking time off to solve some kind of complex mathematical equations. Maybe she’s deriving the rocket trajectory for the next SpaceX mission. Or maybe – just maybe – she’s bullshitting you so you’ll just go away.

Kidding aside, a girl will rarely give you the true reasons for ending a relationship. This is because, at the moment, she just wants OUT. Escape is a lot easier if you don’t make any effort to keep her, and telling you exactly what’s bothering her will only make you think that you can fix it.

So how do you know why she broke up with you? What kinds of things should you be looking for? Aside from “spending more time together” and the rest of the crap going through your mind, here are four REAL reasons your girlfriend will dump you. Correct them, and maybe you can get yourself un-dumped:

You’re a Big Rolling Snowball of Insecurity

The single biggest turnoff for women is a guy who’s insecure. And that’s because woman want a man who is strong, inside and out, and insecurity displays nothing but fear and weakness.

Guys who are insecure come off as annoyingly paranoid. They’re constantly asking their girlfriends “do you still love me?” and always trying to compare themselves to previous lovers. Insecure guys want to be told they’re the best, or at least better than the last boyfriend, because it’s the only way they can justify staying in the current relationship.

Insecurity leads to worse behaviors too. Whenever you see a guy putting his girlfriend down, berating her, or constantly belittling her accomplishments? It’s because he feels insecure about his own life. Rather than try to bring himself up he drags everyone else down, especially the girl he’s dating because she’s the one who’s closest to him.

You’re That Overbearing, All-Controlling Jerk You Always Hated in Movies

Do you monitor your girlfriend’s time? Ask her “where were you?” and “why did it take you so long to do XYZ?” Are you that guy who swipes his girlfriend’s phone and checks through her messages to make sure no other guy is trying to get with or even talk to her?

Yeah, that guy is a dick. And if you’re that guy you won’t even see it, because in your mind you’re totally normal.

Controlling behavior ALWAYS ends in a breakup. This is because you can keep your girlfriend down only for so long, and then eventually, she’ll start to escape. She’ll start to lie. You’ll catch her in some lies, and trust will be broken, and fights will ensue.

Eventually, she’ll sneak away. It’ll be like a game to her. It’ll be almost cathartic for her to sneak time for herself, and eventually she’ll start seeing other people. And when she’s gained enough independence that she’s ready to walk? Nothing you can say is going to change her mind.

You’re Jealous of Everything Under the Sun (and Maybe Even The Sun)

Jealousy is insecurity’s older brother… the bigger, meaner, more ugly brother that likes to kick the hell out of everyone around him.

If you find yourself jealous of every little thing about your girlfriend, chances are good she’s ready to pull her hair out. Some guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s friends, of their job, even of their successes. Other guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s past history, to where they fight over stuff that happened before they even got together, and want to beat up other guys they never even met.

If you’ve got that constant jealous knot sitting in the pit of your stomach, it’s going to destroy all chances of fixing your relationship. You’ve got to untangle that knot, and just let stuff go. The faster you can do that, the happier you’ll be.

How to Get Your ExGirlfriend Back

Breakups are always reversible, for a time anyway. So depending on how long it’s been, and what mistakes you’ve made since your girlfriend dumped you, the path to getting back together is something you need to start walking SOONER rather than later.

Making bad moves is even worse than making none at all. This Step by Step System for winning her back is probably the single biggest step you can take toward fixing your breakup.

Learn ALL of the techniques necessary to making her want you back, and more important than anything else, find out the 12 biggest blunders guys make when trying to get their ex girlfriends to go back out with them again.

In the end, knowledge is everything. You only get one good shot at winning back your girlfriend’s attention and respect. So the more you know before even getting started? The better your results will be.

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3 Things Your Ex Wants to See After the Breakup

Breakups aren’t as cut and dry as you might think they are. Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to a breakup as well.

Moves After Breakup

To you, your boyfriend or girlfriend ended things abruptly. They don’t want you anymore, and they don’t want anything to do with you. The lack of communication might make things seem hopeless, as if you’ve been totally emotionally abandoned.

On your ex’s side however, things are different. While yes, they did initiate the breakup, they also had a lot more time to consider it. They started the process of letting go of you weeks, even months ago, which gives them a distinct emotional advantage over you. They’re already got used to the possibility of not continuing on with the relationship.

As a result, your ex might seem a lot colder or more distant than you really think they are toward you. This is mostly because they want to avoid you. Dealing with you right now is a tough thing for them, so don’t take it as a sign they’ve completely shed all feelings for you.

Now, when an ex leaves? They ALWAYS look back. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will inevitably glance over his or her shoulder, just to see what they left behind. And when they do? Your ex wants to see three major things:

1) Your Ex Wants to See You Miserable Without Them

Yeah, that’s right: your ex wants you to suffer. Not because they’re a bitter asshole, but because seeing you upset about losing them inflates their own ego. And the more upset you are? The more it justifies their decision. The more it makes them realize that you needed them more than they ever needed you.

This is why it’s crucial that you NOT act upset, forlorn, depressed, or any of that stuff after the breakup. Crying, pleading, “fighting for the relationship” – all that crap only cements their decision that yeah, they’re gonna be totally better off without you.

The most disconcerting thing you can do after someone dumps you? Act like nothing happened. In effect, you want to smile, say “okay”, and walk away. This creates INSTANT DOUBT on the part of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. All of a sudden they wonder if cutting you loose was a bad idea, because obviously you didn’t need them half as much as they thought you did.

Indifference is the second-best opening move when it comes to reversing a breakup. Here’s the first one. Learn them both, because combining these two moves is going to put you in the driver’s seat later on, when it comes time to get back with your ex.

2) Your Ex Wants You to Chase Them

This one seems dead wrong, doesn’t it? Because maybe you’ve already chased your ex, and maybe they’ve already told you to go the hell away.

In truth, your ex does want you to go away… sort of. They want the freedom to tell you to piss off (because right now being around you is uncomfortable), but the comfort and security and ego-stroking happiness of knowing you’re still trying to get them back.

So the more you chase them? The more they love it. But also, the more they slip away – because chasing after your ex once he or she breaks up with you is ALWAYS a terrible idea.

3) Your Ex Wants to See You Fail

Ever walk through public and pass an ex boyfriend or girlfriend? The first thing through your mind is how they look, or sometimes more important, how the new person on their arm looks.

Without realizing it, you want that person to totally suck. You want your ex to look terrible, and for their new boyfriend or girlfriend to look like an absolute train wreck. And of course you do, because that’s just human nature.

Understand something: when you dump someone, you always want to feel as if that person would’ve been better off had they stayed with you. So when you see them thriving and doing well without you? It makes you instantly question yourself. If you broke up with them recently, it makes you want to see them… talk to them… possibly even get them back. Why? Because you just lost something of value. Something you didn’t realize was valuable until you lost it.

Applying this to your own situation, the BEST thing you can do right now is live well. Dress your best, look your best – lose weight or buy new clothes or get some new guy/girl on your arm as soon as you can. Because when your ex eventually gets wind of these things? They’re going to seriously reconsider their decision to dump you.

The 12 Biggest Mistakes You Can Make After a Breakup

More often than not, fixing your breakup is less about what you do, and more about what you DON’T do. Sometimes you can get your ex to want you back by doing absolutely nothing, simply because you won’t be making any of the more lethal, romance-killing mistakes that would drive them away.

Here’s the full list of mistakes you should absolutely avoid making if you want ANY chance at reconciliation. Study them hard, and remember that just because you may have committed two or three of them doesn’t mean you can rectify things going forward.

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Ex Back Review: The Ex Factor Guide

There are a lot of Get Your Ex Back systems out there, and some of them are pretty good. A select few of them are actually great, and that’s where the Ex Factor Guide falls on the scale of being helpful, informative, and most of all, getting results.

The first thing you’ll notice about Brad Browning’s system is that it’s not one, but TWO individual guides. One is designed for men who are trying to get back with an ex girlfriend, the other is for women who want their boyfriends back. Each guide contains different information, specific to the wants and needs of each gender. Because let’s face it, all throughout every relationship men and women often find themselves wanting VERY different things.

A bit about Brad Browning: the man is a relationship expert and total wizard when it comes to the analysis – and solution – of a breakup. He treats your breakup almost as a mathematical equation, identifying cause and effect, then deriving the EXACT solution needed for your own particular relationship situation. Brad’s extensive knowledge is peppered with bits of wisdom, not only for fixing a broken romance, but for attracting and keeping members of the opposite sex.

After reading Ex Factor you’ll come away with strength, confidence, and the knowledge needed to start making positive changes to the situation that exists between you and your ex. Best of all, it works fast. In a very short time you’ll have your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend curious about you, and ultimately, needing to hear from you again.

Ex Factor Guide Videos

Another big reason Browning’s system is so popular: VIDEOS.

Aside from the more than 160+ page guide, the system also includes a series of comprehensive, no-bullshit videos starring Brad Browning himself.

These are informative and inspiring; you’ll get all kinds of tips and tricks to minimizing the damage caused when your ex broke up with you, and maximizing whatever existing feelings and emotional attachments are still there.

Yet even before that, you’ll learn to stop making common mistakes that could be destroying your chances of ever getting back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. This is an absolute must-see. Most of the time, people who fail to fix their breakup do so because of one thing: they made too many mistakes. In short, they shot themselves in the foot before they even had a chance at fixing things.

Outlined within this guide you’ll learn:

  • The REAL reason your girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you (which is very often not what you think).
  • 20 Desirable characteristics that will create an instant attraction with any person of the opposite sex.
  • The 6 deadly mistakes that most people make immediately after being dumped by someone. Making too many of these can push your ex to the breaking point.
  • How long to go ‘No Contact’, and exactly what to do during this phase that will get your ex’s attention again.
  • 4 Jaw-dropping ways to make your ex jealous; using jealousy to get your ex to reconsider your value is one of the biggest lessons you can learn in getting them to want you again.
  • A comprehensive guide to contacting your ex: how to make them call YOU, when to see them, and what to say when you do start communicating with each other again.
  • Examples of what you should be texting your ex, and when you should send those text-messages.
  • A full-blown blueprint for your reunion date – how to reignite your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s original attraction for you.
  • Precisely when to seduce your ex, and how to go about using that intimacy to bring the two of you together again.

Keep in mind this is just some of the things you’ll learn in Brad’s Ex Factor Guide. All the advice you receive, and videos you watch, will be tailored specifically to gender of the person you’re trying to get back. Guys will learn exactly what most women are looking for in giving you a second shot. Girls will find a full list of things important to man, and how to use that list to make him want you as his boyfriend again, and not just as a friend or acquaintance.

You can watch Brad Browning’s free introductory videos here:

[This one for men]
[This one for women]

Make sure you check them out – there’s a ton of useful stuff packed in just these 8 minutes of information. And you’ll also get a better sense of what Brad is like; he has a way of speaking and conveying his message that’s almost addictive in his delivery.

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Why is Your Ex Still Texting You After the Breakup?

Text-messaging… it’s a huge part of our daily lives. And when it comes to dating, it’s an equally large part of the communication between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

During your relationship you probably sent tens of thousands of texts back and forth to your lover. Little ones. Big long ones. Smiley emoticons and heavy sexting and everything in between.

Ex Still Texting You After The Breakup?

So when your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you, did you really expect it would all end? Did you think your ex would delete your number from his or her phone, and that would be it?

In reality, a lot of communication and text-messaging goes on these days POST-breakup. And that’s not just out of habit. Because if your ex is still texting you even after they’ve dumped you? If they’re still hammering out messages just for the sake of keeping in touch with you?

It’s a sure sign of only one thing:

Your ex still has some level of feelings for you.

Think about it for a second. If your ex really wanted out, they’re already gone. They don’t have to text you. They don’t have to keep in touch. And yes, I know they’re doing it under the guise of “we’re still friends” or the dreaded “I just wanted to see how you’re doing”, but truth be told, this person is keeping those lines of communication open for some very simple and selfish reasons: they don’t want you going anywhere just yet.

No, if your ex still texts after dumping you it’s because they’re not 100% sure. They could be 70, 80, 90% sure… but that lingering doubt is what’s keeping them from cutting you loose and deleting your contact information from their phone altogether.

What to Do if Your Ex is Still Texting You

If you’re trying to get back together but your ex won’t budge, it’s still a great sign you’re getting these messages. Even better, you can USE these messages as a tool to not only draw them closer again, but to actually get them to want you back.

First, check out this crazy but cool video on EXACTLY what to do when you start receiving texts from an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend. It’ll teach you pretty much everything you need to know about sending and receiving text-based communication after your relationship has already ended.

Next, understand that TOO much communication at this point is bad. This is because your ex is relying on these texts to still get their “fix” of you. By entertaining entire conversations with them, you’re giving them exactly what they want. Moreover, exactly what they need to keep themselves level-headed and going forward with the breakup.

Your goal here should be to make your ex MISS you. You’ll want them to need to hear from you – to actually crave all the cute little conversations and back-and-forth stuff you used to do each night, every morning, and all throughout the day.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Might Love and Need You

And remember, text-messaging is only one of the bigger red flags that your former boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t yet over the relationship. There are lots of other signs too, and knowing what these are can really help nail the correct timing of the 6-step reconciliation process.

Ultimately, any time your ex wants to stay in touch it’s an indication of general interest. In all cases, play it cool. Don’t chase. If you let your ex initiate most of the conversations, the balance of power will shift slowly back in your favor. You never want to feel as if your communication is unwanted. If you find yourself asking the question “do I text him/her too much?” the answer is already ‘yes’.

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Why You Can’t Stay Friends With Your Ex

Of all the broken relationship questions I get, the most common ones deal with friendship. And that’s because, for many people, keeping up some level of friendship after breaking up seems to be the ‘go to’ method for trying to stay in your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend’s life.

“Hey Anthony, why can’t I stay friends with my ex?
Won’t that help in getting them back?”

I hate to say it, but the answer is no.  You cannot, and should not, stay friends – or even friendly – after the breakup.  NOT if you actually want this person back as your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Friends With Your Ex

Honestly, staying friends with someone who just dumped you seems like a great initial idea.  You get to still see them.  You get to talk to them, text them – by remaining on friendly terms you don’t have to cut them out of your life.

You’re staying in sight too, so your ex doesn’t forget about you, and you’re able to see what your former lover is doing… and with whom.

All of that sounds amazing, no?  The next best thing to dating them, right?  Well, if only any of it were true.

Why Being Friends With Your Ex is Torture for Them

Right off the bat, you have to understand something very important: after breaking up with you, your ex doesn’t want to see you.

For a lot of people this is very difficult to swallow.  Yes, I know, they told you differently.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend put on a brave smile and said “sure!” when you asked if you could still talk to them, keep in touch, hell, even hang out together.  And they meant it… for about as long as it took for you to get back in your car.

After that?  Your ex wants to avoid you.  He or she would rather go to the dentist than actually run into you right now.  And no, it’s not because they hate you.  It’s not “bad blood” or anything stupid like that.  It’s because your ex will feel totally awkward around you.  And that’s because of something even more important:

They’re trying to push aside any emotional ties they still have to you.

And so yeah, the last thing they want is to see you.  Or hear from you.  Or for God’s sake, hang out with you.  When you call or text or whatever, you’ll talk to them less and less.  They’ll cut the ties of communication slowly, so as not to upset you, but they’ll cut them nonetheless.  Which means that very, very soon, you’re going to feel utterly and completely alone.

Why Being Friends With Your Ex is Torture for YOU

Now if you think that’s bad, it’s an even worse situation on your end. Because while you’re friends with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend? You’re stuck in this weird limbo of no longer being in a romantic relationship with them, and not really being an actual friend either.

“Bullshit! I can totally be friends with my ex!”

Nope. You might think you’re doing it, but in reality you’re stuck in a very strange place. That’s because you’re not like any of your ex’s other friends. You’re a friend with an agenda.

A ‘friend’ who has the ultimate goal of getting back in this person’s pants again. THEY want friendship. YOU want more. And no matter how much you deny it, or think you can try to hide it? Your ex totally knows and sees this. They feel it without you even having to say a single word, and from that moment on, they’re going to have their guard up around you.

Staying friends at this point will be torturous.  You’ll have to smile and be ‘happy’ while your ex lives his or her life without you.  You’ll need to be supportive when they talk about their dating problems.  And when your ex finally starts seeing someone else?  You’ll need to put on your bravest face and act happy for them, even though it’s going to feel like you got stabbed in the stomach.

And hey, even if you could be friends for a while?  The second one or both of you get a new partner that person isn’t going to be too happy about the arrangement.  Remember dating that one person who just couldn’t let go of their ex?  The person who told you “we’re just friends”, even though you wish this ex would go the hell away?  Well now you’re on the flip side of that coin.

What Should You Do if Your Ex Wants to Be Friends?

Short answer? You tell them no. But the long answer? You have to do it in such a way that it actually makes your ex need to hear from you again.

It’s not as simple as refusing the friendship. You also need to convince your ex that you don’t want to be friends with him or her, and that you’re not just shrugging it off because you’re bitter or angry.

Breaking Up With Ex

Essentially, you want your ex to wonder WHY you won’t be friends with them. It should seem cold to them. Callous. Like you really didn’t care to begin with, if you could just break free of them cold turkey.

The fact you’re not willing to even maintain simple contact (like texting or Instagram) tells your ex a great deal about your independence, and how they had you pegged wrong as still needing them around. This is only one of several counter-rejection techniques you can employ to shake things up, making your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend question their decision to break up with you in the first place.

When your ex realizes you’re willing to walk away from them, without even attempting to be friends? They themselves feel rejected. Your boyfriend or girlfriend also has to face the grim reality of the breakup alone.

This is especially bad for them if they expected you to stay in touch. Most people who say “let’s be friends” aren’t 100% ready to let go just yet, and the post-break friendship is a way for them to do it gradually, at their own pace. But you denied them that luxury, which puts them out of their comfort zone. You just ripped the Band-Aid off in one quick motion.

If You’re Already Friends With Your Ex… What Then?

If the breakup already happened and you’re now stuck in the “buddy” role, there are a number of ways to fix things. First, you’ll need to climb out of the dreaded Friend Zone, even if it means severing what little contact you already have with your former lover.

Beyond that, there’s a four-step process to making your ex see you as a potential partner again, rather than just a friend. It might seem like a small step backwards, but sometimes you have to backtrack in order to find the right path.

Remember: “staying friends with your ex” is a consolation prize that you just don’t want. Read up on other ways to break out of the friendship trap by checking out the links below:

What to Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Be Friends

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back When She Just Wants to Be Friends

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