5 Things You MUST DO Immediately After Getting Dumped

When a relationship ends, one of two things can happen. Either you both walk your separate ways, or the two of you eventually decide give the romance a second chance.

Getting Dumped Anthony Malibu

Now we all know people who have gotten back together. Couples who’ve broken up, missed each other, and ended up dating each other again.

When this happens, the reason is always the same: these people are still attracted to each other. They’d rather be together than apart, but most of all they still see value in each other.

Value in the relationship.

For this reason, what you do immediately AFTER your boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you is the single most important factor in deciding whether or not they’ll want you back. Your actions, your attitude – these are things your ex is paying VERY close attention to, as they help them determine whether or not dumping you was the right decision.

The Main Reasons People Don’t Get Back Together

When people don’t get back together it’s usually because the ‘dumper’ is totally turned off by the ‘dumpee’. They do and say things that end up driving their partner away, even while they believe these actions will make their ex miss, love, and need them again.

In truth, it’s very easy to drive your ex away. The days and weeks after any breakup are a very fragile time, and the very things you’re doing to try and get back together can often be responsible for making sure your ex NEVER wants to date you again.

So what actions are good? Which ones are bad?

How can you bring your ex back to you – physically and emotionally – without destroying their opinion of you and making it so that they don’t really want you back?

Below you’ll find five post-breakup moves that are not only safe, they’re actually CRUCIAL to reversing your breakup. Stick to these and you’ll never push your ex away; in fact, you’ll actually be drawing them emotionally closer by making them need you again, in many of the original ways you first fell in love.

#1) Don’t Fight Your Ex’s Decision to Break Up

It’s the first thing that happens after you get dumped; you FIGHT.

You fight against the breakup. You fight to “save the relationship”. You even fight to find out why your boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly decided to end things, even though their decision was probably not that sudden at all.

All this fighting is something your lover expects. They came totally prepared for it. They have an answer for just about every one of your questions, and the ones they don’t have an answer for just make them clam up and say nothing.

And as you continue demanding explanations and begging them to reconsider? You devalue yourself. As a person, a partner, a potential boyfriend or girlfriend… you’re showing your ex that no matter what happens from this point out, YOU need them a whole lot more than THEY need you.

NEWSFLASH: You’ll never convince your ex not to break up with you during the initial ‘break up’ speech. At best you’re delaying the inevitable. At worst you’re forcing them to see you in the worst possible light, at your worst possible moment.

#2) Show Willingness to Walk Away From the Relationship

Instead of fighting, you need to demonstrate STRENGTH. This is what your partner secretly wants anyway, and it may very well be the reason they’re no longer into you.

So DON’T fight. DON’T argue. DON’T throw yourself at your ex’s feet, promise to ‘change’, beg or plead for them to reconsider… instead of doing all those pitiful, awful things, get up and JUST WALK AWAY.

That’s it. It’s really that simple. By walking away after your ex dumps you you’re refusing to show your cards. In a way, your refusal to argue is actually the same as counter-rejecting them. And this puts you in a much better position later on.

EVERY SINGLE MINUTE that you fight the breakup slips you one step further AWAY from reconciliation. The longer you take to accept and agree, the further you slide down that slippery slope. With each second that ticks by you’re giving your ex that much more power over you. And this is power you’ll need later on, when it’s time to use these reconnection techniques to draw your ex back into a relationship again.

#3) Refuse to Chase After Your Ex

Once you walk away? That’s IT. You’re done with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, at least for now.

Most people who get rejected end up chasing their ex in one way or the other. Whether it’s phone calls, text messages, or even just stalking your ex on their Instagram or Facebook accounts, this is probably the biggest of all possible blunders you can make (see this list of the 12 biggest breakup mistakes).

Chasing your ex looks desperate. It displays weakness, at a time when you need to be strong. It makes you seem needy, but more than that, it puts your ex up on a pedestal where even they start thinking they’re too good for you.

In addition, right after the breakup is when your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you the LEAST. Let’s face it, they dumped you because they’re sick of you, at least for now. So running after them at this point is only going to make them run harder, and since they’re the one with the head start you’re never going to catch them.

Eventually, if you do leave your ex alone for a while? They slowly begin to miss you again. They think about you MORE when you’re not around, and LESS when you’re constantly trying to get in touch with them. So by not chasing your ex you’re actually getting closer to catching them again. Just like by not chasing after a lost dog (which will only make it run away even faster) you can stop, kneel down, and let the puppy come to you.

#4) Disappear Like a GHOST

Want your ex to really miss you? Well then you’ve got to totally disappear.

When I say totally, I mean just that. It’s not enough that you don’t call or text message your ex. You have to disappear from the world of social media as well.

Think about it; if your ex dumped you, they’re going to look back at you to see what you do. They want to know how you’re handling it, and checking your Facebook and Twitter and Instagram accounts is a very good, very secretive way of checking up on you.

Now imagine your ex goes to look at these things and they see nothing. No updates. No activity at all. Suddenly, they begin to worry. Because instead of running home to change your status or throwing up sappy song lyrics all over your page, you haven’t done ANYTHING at all.

To your ex, this can only mean one thing: you’re out with someone else. You’re doing other things, and you’re having fun and living your life without them. This is exactly the opposite of what your boyfriend or girlfriend wants. They expect you to be doing the same old thing, so when you’re not, it puts them out of their comfort zone.

#5) Immediately Move on With Your Life

And speaking of being out with someone else? This is the BEST time in the world to do just that.

When your ex dumps you, the greatest revenge is living well. This means going out, having fun, and most important of all, being seen with OTHER people.

So go out on dates. Enjoy yourself. Don’t even hesitate for a second thinking you ‘need time’ or that it’s simply ‘too soon’ after your last relationship ended. Remember: you got DUMPED. Which means that you’re the “loser” of the relationship and your ex (for now at least) is the “winner”. To reverse those roles, you’ve got to show your former boyfriend or girlfriend that you don’t care at all about them anymore. Even if you totally do.

And no, going out with someone doesn’t mean you have to marry them. You’re simply having fun; taking a few dates here and there to get back on the proverbial horse. There’s nothing at all wrong with seeing someone else, and it’s a great way to make your ex totally jealous. In some cases it can jar your ex into taking action, because until you actually start dating again your breakup might not be final in your ex’s eyes.

So to know how they really feel about you? Let your boyfriend or girlfriend see you with your arm around someone else. If that’s not going to prompt a phone call or text message, nothing else will.

There are a list of signs and signals your ex will give off when he or she wants you back. Look out for them, and make sure you’re doing the right thing immediately after the breakup.

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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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21 Things That Will Get You Through Your Breakup

Losing a relationship is like losing a part of yourself. Especially if you’ve been dating for a while, and the two of you became entwined in each others’ lives.

How to Get Over Breakup

Still, a lot of people go through a breakup alone. They withdraw, and will often stick to themselves. Some even reach dangerous levels of depression.

But just like there are good relationships and bad ones, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to let go of someone even when you still love them. Learning how to break up is sometimes just as important as learning to fall in love, because very few of us find our soulmates the first time around.

Below is a list of ways you can help get over your ex. Learning these tactics will not only help you snap out of a bad breakup, they’ll actually help you be more attractive to everyone else, including the boyfriend or girlfriend who just dumped you.

Remove Reminders of Your Ex

The first thing you want to do, right off the bat, is to get rid of anything that will remind you of your past relationship. This includes photos, pictures, gifts, music… basically anything that you could glance at and your ex would suddenly spring to mind.

Now I know it’s not easy to just throw things things away – especially early on. This is why it’s good to just box everything up, tape the box tightly shut, and put it somewhere you won’t be tempted to look at or open it. This way you still have that stuff (on the off chance you can reverse your breakup), and a year or two from now you can deal with it much easier once any residual feelings have gone away.

Get Outside – Don’t Stay In

It’s natural to become sullen and withdrawn during a breakup. After all, a breakup is a rejection, and such a thing never makes anyone feel particularly good.

But you know what? The more you stay inside, the worse you’ll feel. The more you withdraw from friends and family, the more isolated and lost you’ll become.

So go outside, and get in the sun. Even if you just read a book or play some music, breathing in some fresh air will actually make you feel better. And if you have friends or family you can turn to? Go hang out with them. Staying busy is the purest and most effective way to get your mind off your breakup.

Exercise, Exercise, Excercise!

Want to clear your head, and everything in it? Hands down, NOTHING is better than exercise.

It doesn’t matter how you do it, but working out and getting your blood pumping will release natural endorphins that will always make you feel better. And no matter what thoughts are spinning through your head right now, a good run or a tough workout will eradicate every last one of them.

Exercise is good for your mind, body, and soul. You’ll feel better and look better, and with every drop of sweat your problems will seem to melt away. The best part of all? It’s free. It’s awesome. And you can do it every single day.

So join a gym, or go back to the one you stopped going to while you were busy dating your ex. Get involved in a spin class, a yoga class, or do Zumba, or kickboxing, or cardio.

Even better, go one step further and start doing 5k runs. Even if you can’t run fast you’ll find yourself next to hundreds of other people who simply walk them. You’ll meet new faces, start new conversations, and enjoy just being outdoors. Your ex? Your ex who?

Try Something Totally New

This is a good one to do with friends. Basically, pick something wild you’ve always SAID you were going to do. Maybe it’s scuba diving. Maybe it’s skydiving. Maybe it’s as simple as joining a team sport, or trying martial arts. Doesn’t matter really, just DO it.

You can also pick up new hobbies. Try something you’ve never done before, and take a few classes on it. Cooking classes are popular, or do pottery, or join a book club… whatever gets you out of the house and into a group setting is totally perfect for getting your mind off breaking up.

Start Dating New People

Yes, believe it or not, you CAN see other people. NO, it’s not “too soon”. NO, you don’t need some lame ‘mourning period’ to get over your ex.

Mourning periods suck, actually. They’re nothing more than a downgraded pity party you’ve somehow convinced yourself you’re entitled to. I’m not saying you should go out with just anyone, but you should be more than open to the idea.

And hey, you don’t have to fall in love either. Right now it’s about getting out and doing things. Having fun. Whomever makes you happiest, roll with that person, even if the relationship isn’t going anywhere serious. And if it is? Roll with that too. And try not to focus on your ex (or compare this new person to them). That will only make both of you miserable.

Other Ways to Get Over Your Breakup

If you’ve already tried the 6 Step to Get Back With Your Ex, and nothing’s worked? Well, it might be time to let go. But you want to let go the right way, otherwise you’ll be stuck in the past for a very long time.

First, try the Clear Mind Technique. The Free Video is Here. This is an amazing tool for relieving the pain of a breakup, and creating a calm place in your mind where you don’t have to feel sick, or anxious, or sad about losing your relationship anymore. Do it one time and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Beyond that, you might be tempted to become “friends” with your ex. If that’s the case, make sure you read up on: What to Do When Your Ex Just Wants to Be Friends.

In any case, all breakups take time to heal. Emotional bonds don’t just dissolve overnight, and if its any comfort at all, your ex is going through many of the same symptoms of relationship withdrawal you are.

Ultimately however, it’ll all be okay. So chin up, get outside, and get OVER your ex!

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Texting Your Ex – 3 Fast Texts That Will Re-Open the Lines of Communication

It’s hard to stay silent after a breakup. Especially when so many connections still linger between you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

Texting Your Ex

Some of those connections will be emotional. No matter how a relationship ends, it always began with fire and passion. The start of every romance is filled with overwhelming amounts of attraction, and in time, strong emotional bonds and feelings are formed that are most times hard to break.

Other connections will be electronic, such as Facebook, Instagram, and especially texting.

In fact, more than 75% of all breakups don’t end at the phone; texting between those people continue, whether they end up getting back together with an ex or not.

If you’re in the situation where you’d like to fix your breakup, you’ll need to know HOW and WHEN to communicate with your ex. Calling at the wrong time, or saying the wrong thing, can often lead to disastrous results. You may have already experienced some of that, and your breakup already got off on the wrong foot.

Texting, just like calling, has its own set of rules and etiquettes. Should you still text with your ex? When is it okay to send a message? Even more important: what should you text to your ex when you want them back?

Below are three very quick ways you can use text-messaging to break the awkward silence after a breakup. Read them carefully first, and before doing anything else, make sure you know every single one of the rules and regulations of post-relationship texting, as these will help prepare you for your former lover’s response.

#1) The ‘I’m on Your Side Now’ Text

Most people who get dumped fight too hard too soon. Yes, you want the relationship back, but what you don’t understand is that right now? Your ex will do everything in his or her power to deflect any points you might make in that regard.

The longer you try to get your ex back, the worse things get. Your former lover will see you as pushing too hard, not taking no for an answer, and looking totally lame (and desperate) in the process.

What your ex doesn’t expect however, is for you to suddenly be on the same page as them. Which is why this first text works so well:

“Hey, I’m totally with you now on the whole breakup thing. We really ARE better off apart. Sorry it took so long for me to get it, but at least I did
before we started hating each other (LOL). Take it easy!”

This is essentially a brush-off. Your ex already rejected you as a partner, and this is your chance to counter-reject them. And now that you’re NOT fighting them tooth and nail to stay together with them? Your ex sees you as more of an equal – and even an ally – rather than someone beneath them trying to claw their way back to their level.

This text might seem pretty final, yet it’s anything but. Consider it the first stepping stone on the road to getting back together again.

Here’s a great video all about this opening move. Be sure to watch the whole thing, because it helps you better visualize what to do next.

#2) The Congratulatory or Happy Birthday Text

The only contact you should be making with your ex right now is welcomed contact. Anything else, and your ex will take it as you grasping desperately to get the relationship back (and you never, ever want to look desperate).

Congratulations is always welcome, especially if it’s something you know your ex has been trying to do for a long time. So if your ex graduated? That’s a great text to send him or her. If your ex got a recent promotion, or bought a new car, or something else happened that’s good in their life? Again, this is a good excuse to send them a very small, very simple:

“Hey, I heard you finally got promoted. Good deal! Hope everything’s great by you.”

This is an ice-breaker, and an innocent one as well. It also works with birthdays. And the longer you dated your boyfriend or girlfriend? The better this techniques works. You already shared big parts of your lives with each other, so it will only seem natural to share a quick congratulations on something that happened afterward.

#3) The ‘Familiarity’ Text Message

With this one, you want to use something you know your ex is familiar with. Preferably something you shared or loved together, while you were still dating.

Did you like a certain movie, and the sequel is coming out? How about music; did you attend a concert together, and that band is coming around again? A television series you always watched, and a new season is coming out?

“Hey, Survivor starts tonight! Had to tell you, in case you forgot to set your DVR!”

This is a conversation-starter. Chances are good your ex will ask what this season of Survivor is about, and who might be on it. If the conversation goes well, you might mention how much you miss watching it together. And if it goes very well, maybe your ex will invite you over – platonically or not – to enjoy it with them.

Basically, you need to pick something that was ‘yours’ together. Something cool and fun that will spark nothing but good memories of old times between you. Your goal is to put yourself back in your ex’s head, without really doing anything obvious. This right here is a great way to do it.

There are many other ways to get your ex’s attention again, even without the use of text messages. But again, you need to know when to do it… how to do it… before even thinking about making that first, tentative contact.

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6 Huge Misconceptions About Staying Friends With Your Ex

“Let’s be friends…” Sounds good, right? As if you and your ex will still be able to see each other, talk to each other, even hang out together and have some more good times?

Anthony Malibu - Stay Friends With Ex

It’s win-win for everyone, at least in your mind. The relationship is over but the contact doesn’t have to end.

The closeness you shared doesn’t have to go away, because you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are going to defy they odds; somehow, you’re going to make the post-breakup friendship work, even if it kills you. Right?

Yeah, right.

The sad truth of things is this: there are two possible scenarios after someone breaks up with you. One, is that you no longer want or need them in your life. And in that case, you go your separate ways.

The second scenario is where your lover breaks up with you, but you keep hanging on. Since you weren’t ready for the romance to end, you’re looking for any excuse – no matter how thin – to stay in touch and actually be with them again.

It’s for this reason that many people JUMP at the chance to “stay friends” when their ex offers it. They’re not ready to let go. They think that being friends with an ex can help get them back, or that eventually this person will realize how much they miss being your boyfriend or girlfriend, and jump back into a relationship with and date them again.

Unfortunately, it’s not even close to that easy.

Going from friends to lovers – after you’ve dated already – is mostly a fantasy. It happens in books, in movies. It happens in real life too, but the ‘lovers’ thing lasts only for one night, and afterward your ex goes back to their single life, leaving you feel used and cheated.

In short, you cannot be friends with an ex if you still love them.

PERIOD. End of story. If you’re honest with yourself and you know that you still have feelings, staying friends with this person is only going to hurt ten times as much.

And not only that… it’s going to push your ex away, too. Every breakup has a window of opportunity for reversing itself; EVERY single time someone dumps you there’s always a way back.

But when you become friends with that person? The road back into their heart becomes that much longer. It’s an uphill climb, and you’ve basically decimated your chances of making them need you again.

Below are 6 of the biggest myths involving getting back together after staying friends with your ex. By the time you’re finished reading them, you’ll understand exactly why the road back into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart does NOT lead through some made-up “friendship”.

Myth 1 – As Friends, You’ll Still Keep in Constant Contact

Sorry, but no. First of all, your ex dumped you for a reason. He or she no longer sees you as datable, and they’re going to be looking somewhere (and at someone) else.

So will your new ‘friend’ still call and text and email with you? Yeah, sure. For a while. But the second this person finds somebody else, or even gets interested in somebody else, that contact will drop off so fast it’ll make your head spin and your heart sink.

Also, the amount of contact will never be the same. It won’t be anywhere near the amount of texts and calls you made to each other during the relationship. As such, it’ll be a disappointment for you. You’ll wonder why your ex isn’t staying in touch as much as he or she used to, and that will make you wonder what ELSE they’re doing without you.

Myth 2 – As Friends, You and Your Ex Will Still Hang Out

Sure. Maybe. But again, nowhere NEAR as much as before.

For the most part, your ex will call you when they have nothing to do. Remember: they’re single now, and they’ve got a whole new list of things they can do without you.

This list includes seeing old friends, going places, being in groups where they can potentially meet other people… and you staying at home and watching these things from the outside. When your ex does include you in these events, you’ll watch jealously as your former boyfriend or girlfriend ends up talking to other people (and potential dates). You’ll feel awkward, having been downgraded to “just a friend”, and you won’t know where your place is.

And yes, your ex might even come over for sexual reasons. You’ll hook up, even though you’re no longer dating. The sex will be good, and you’ll have a great time, and in the back of your mind you’ll tell yourself that you can handle it. But you know what? You can’t. Because residual feelings and emotional bonds will make you want MORE than just friends with benefits.

Can sleeping with your ex help get them back? Read LOTS more about that here.

Myth 3 – Staying Friends Lets You Keep Track of Your Ex

Somewhat, yes. You’ll still be Facebook friends, you’ll still follow your ex on Instagram, and you’ll still be privy to some of the things he or she does every day.

Your ex will also call and text you. They’ll tell you about their day, get some advice from you at times, and all that other good stuff friends do. That part is true, to an extent.

But you know what? Anything your ex doesn’t want you to see will remain a mystery. Anything they think will hurt your feelings will be something they HIDE from you. And because you’re no longer dating this person, you can’t even push for details. You’re not entitled to know where your ex went anymore, or who he/she hung out with, or when they got back from the bar or club.

This will ultimately drive you crazy: the not knowing. Seeing only PART of the picture is worse than seeing nothing at all. You’ll have no power over your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s actions, and this will frustrate you lots more than if you didn’t know anything about their life. In that respect, being friends with an ex is worse than a standard breakup.

Myth 4 – Being Friends Will Draw You Closer Together

Another misconception is that friendship simplifies the relationship. You’re no longer dating so you no longer have to fight. No more arguing, no more petty jealousy, no more “you didn’t call or text me back…” – that stuff flies out the window, leaving behind a nice, peaceful interaction between the two of you.

To an extent this is actually true. However, understand that as the friendship goes on, your ex will ONLY see you as a friend. Eventually, that’s all you really become to them.

Why? Because you’ve made the whole thing so comfortable. You’ve created a situation that’s better than actually dating them. If your ex is enjoying most (or all) of the benefits of having you around, with none of the drawbacks or limitations of an actual relationship, why the HELL would he or she want to ever go back to dating you again? You’ve created a stress-free Utopian paradise that they’ll never really want to leave!

Myth 5 – Old Sparks Will Eventually Start Flying Again

Wrong. Mostly because being around each other is an awkward situation for the both of you.

Sorry, but this type of friendship is never TRULY a friendship. One person ‘won’ the breakup, and the other person lost it. The loser is you, which means that your boyfriend or girlfriend still holds all the cards right now. They know you still have feelings for them (no matter how well you’ve convinced yourself you’ve hidden it). And because of that, they’ll always hold power over you.

While you both pretend to be buddies with each other, your ex will never really open his or her heart to you. Not fully, and not while they still believe you WANT them.

Getting back together with an ex is all about making them NEED you again. They have to miss you. You have to actually go away.

None of those things happened so far, if you’re still palling around with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. They can’t possibly miss you when all they need to do is look down at their phone and see that you’ve been talking to them every single day.

Sexual sparks might fly, as we talked about above, but those will mostly be one-shot deals. Your ex will get horny, and you’ll be a very likely candidate for sex. Still, this doesn’t usually mean anything. And in the cases where the sex didn’t mean much to your ex, you’re definitely going to get hurt.

Myth 6 – Your Ex Will Ultimately ‘See the Light’ & Want You Back

It’s almost a bit sad, but this has to be said: your ex rejected you for a reason. And until you find out exactly what that reason was – and correct it – you’re never going to convince your ex to get back together as a couple with you.

Again, it goes back to comfort. As long as your former lover is made comfortable around you, he or she has ZERO INCENTIVE to take you back. First of all, it’s obvious you still want them. It’s obvious you’re staying friends with an ulterior motive. And as long as they know this? They’ll always feel comfortable in knowing they can get you back anytime they want to.

This keeps the breakup going. It makes it last and last. That’s because for your ex, there’s no downside. They get to play the field and look for someone better while you’re still circling around them in a holding pattern waiting for table scraps.

Harsh? Yeah. But it’s also the truth. And if you REALLY want a relationship rather than a friendship, you’re going to have to face those hard truths in order to get past the idea of “staying friends” after breaking up.

What to Do If You’ve Become Friends With Your Ex

Already friends with your ex? You have only one real opening move. The sooner you make it, the sooner you can break out of the Friend Zone and start on the actual path to winning your lover back.

Remember: the window of opportunity is there. But it doesn’t stay open forever. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. And the more you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the role of “just a friend” with your ex? The further away you’ll always be.

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4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Called

It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Hasn't Called

They don’t call. They don’t text.

Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.

Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.

So why won’t your ex call or text you?

What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?

The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.

And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.

So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.

You’re Still Resisting the Breakup

A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.

So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.

Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.

No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.

Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.

You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex

Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.

The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.

Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.

You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity

We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).

All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.

Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?

And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.

Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.

This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.

Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On

Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.

This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”

The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).

When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.

Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:

CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend

CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend

And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.

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My Girlfriend Wants to Break Up With Me… Help!

Hi Anthony,

I came across your name on an article I found on the internet and I hope you can take a few mins of your time to read my problem, thanks.

Firstly I am a 28 year old male. I was going out with my ex GF for 3.5 years but we broke up just over a week ago.

apologize-to-ex-anthony-malibu

It all started 2 weekends ago when we were at a wedding and I was seated beside a gorgeous looking girl. I recognised her from college and remembered a mate of mine used to fancy her so I texted him saying that she was at the wedding and that she was looking hot etc..

The next day my girlfriend saw the text on my phone and said she was leaving me for good! I thought this was a bit drastic seen as I meant no harm whatsoever when I sent the text!

After a couple of hours of her crying she said she over-reacted slightly and that she didn’t want to break up with me and that she was just upset because she thought I fancied the other girl. Then she went to meet a female friend for about 6 hours!!

The next day she seemed to be in a mood with me again and had to leave town for a few days due to work reasons. It was her birthday then the following day and I arrived at her hotel as a surprise but she told the manager not to let me up to the room!! I couldn’t believe it.. So I rang her immediately and she was crying saying that she didn’t deserve what I did to her and that I ruined her birthday for the 2nd year in a row (the previous year I was coming to terms with her telling me that she had kissed her ex twice, so when I got drunk 1 night I texted my ex that’s all). She said she needed a few days space so I respected that and only texted her 2 or 3 times during the following 5 days.. She also said that she wasn’t going to break up with me but she needed time to get over the upset that was caused.

So the following Monday (6 days later) she arrived over to our apartment and said she wanted to break up! She said her self-esteem was ruined and that it was all my fault. She is very insecure and blames me. She is stunning looking and could get any guy she wanted but she feels that she’s not good looking enough for me and says that I should get a better looking girl for myself.. NOT TRUE! During this conversation she kept saying that she didn’t know what she wanted because she was confused but that it wasn’t fair on me to be waiting around for her to make her mind up. She said that she was holding me back and that it killed her to think that I would now be able to find myself another girlfriend..

She then left the apartment in tears saying that it was over!

That was 9 days ago.. I haven’t heard from her since. I have texted her twice in the last 9 days just to say “I hope you are ok and I’m sorry for hurting you”. She never replied!

Why did she suddenly change her mind? 3 weeks ago she told me she was so happy in our relationship and she wanted to marry me someday. She also cried 1 day to me a few weeks ago asking why I was with her when I could be with any other girl.. I don’t want any other girl. In our 3.5 years relationship I never cheated on her.. So she is obviously insecure. Ya we fight at times but who doesn’t? Over-all we used to get on great..

A few other things worth mentioning…

1) Even now her status on facebook says she is in a relationship.
2) We still have our apartment leased, neither of us are staying there, all her stuff is still there though.
3) She is checking my e-mails, I don’t mind this, but if she wants to break up with me why is she checking up on me??

So do you have any idea what’s going on in her mind? Is there any possibility I can get her back even though she won’t reply to my texts?

Thanks so much for reading this and hope to hear from you soon.

Liam

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Liam!

Sorry to hear about your girl trouble. The scenario is pretty familiar, and the word INSECURITY jumped to mind way before you mentioned it in the 2nd paragraph.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. You’re entitled to have conversations and text-messages with your friend, and you’re entitled to bring up your past. The problem your girlfriend has with your past is that she wasn’t involved in it.

I think the healthiest relationships don’t have anything to hide, and I’ve never advocated password-protecting your phone or email accounts. The fact that you didn’t shows loyalty and maturity. Yet the fact that your ex is checking your email AND checked that text-message (the very next day?) shows that she’s extremely insecure and needy.

To say she overreacted is an understatement. If I were you, I would’ve been pissed. Then she apologized (which was pretty big of her), but refusing to allow you up to her hotel room was more than a little suspicious.

Most people are insecure for a reason. I’m not trying to alarm you, but a girl who’s constantly afraid you’re cheating on them (checking texts, email, etc…) or looking for someone hotter than her MAY already be cheating on you. It’s entirely possible she’s not, but people tend to channel their own guilt into insecure actions such as checking up on you, maybe even hoping (on some level) to catch you doing the same thing(s) they are.

When you said she went to see a female friend for six hours, you seemed shocked by that. Were you sure it was a female friend? The fact that she’d kissed her ex a year ago has me suspicious of that. Insecure girls *always* tend to fall back on past relationships for comfort when their current relationship hits a bump in the road. They can’t stand the thought of being alone, and it’s always easier to go back to someone who loves or loved them.

Overwhelmingly suspicious is the fact that you went all the way out to her hotel on a business trip, yet she refused to let you up to her room. Sorry bro, but I just don’t buy that. This girl is away on business after having had trouble with her boyfriend. She should be missing you like crazy and thrilled that you’re there, not turning you away in the hotel lobby. As tough as it is to say, the only thing that would keep her from seeing you would be if she already had someone there with her. Whether it be an ex or a coworker or whomever it was, she didn’t want you up because you didn’t want to get caught.

I’d question whether or not this girl is relying on someone else. At best, it could be only for comfort. At worst, she could be cheating on you. Women like this tend to build things up in their mind, and she probably worked that one little text-message you sent your friend into a big huge deal. When it got big enough, maybe she used it as an excuse to do her own thing. It’s a pretty lame way of justifying her actions, but insecurity can really blow things out of proportion.

Either way, this girl is crazy insecure. Mad at you for calling another girl hot? This is high school bullshit. After three and a half years of dating and some talk of marriage, you both should be way beyond this level of immaturity. You certainly seem to be, but she does not.

Texting her twice in the last nine days was a bad move. Apologizing was even worse. You’re essentially owning up to doing something bad, when in reality you didn’t do anything at all. This gives her justification: “He knows he fucked up!” and she gets to continue to ride the wave. It’s a lot easier to crucify you for something you ‘did’ to her (and damaging her self-esteem? Come on…) than it is to admit she’s just being an immature asshole. Insecure over another girl’s looks… jeeze, it’s like 10th grade all over again.

So what do you do? Well, for starters you need to call her one more time. If she answers, great. If not, you leave a message:

“Listen, I’m out. This is high school drama and I really don’t need it. I just wanted to let you know I’m done, so you don’t go crying that I left or abandoned the relationship without saying anything. Good luck.”

That’s it. After that, shut off your phone for a while. Don’t answer if she calls back, and don’t bother even logging in to read your email. Let her chew on this for a while, and let her worry that she’s finally pushed you too far. You’re fed up, you’re done, and she might’ve gotten you to the point of no return.

THESE things will get her on the phone rather quickly, I’d imagine. Unless she’s currently wrapped up with another guy, I’d say she calls you before the day is out. And even if she doesn’t? That’s fine too. It’s time to stop apologizing and start moving in the other direction. If she really does love you and wants to keep you as her boyfriend, she’ll need to come back on YOUR terms. That means an apology on her part, with no further apology from you.

If she brings up the subject of that text again, blow it off. Don’t even defend against it. Say something like:

“This again? Are you serious? We’re in our late 20’s, and we’re arguing over whether I called some other girl hot in a text-message you intercepted to my best friend? We might as well pass notes in study hall, because this is some real immature shit.”

Let her start questioning herself. Let her start to say: “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” This is the best way to get past this baby-crap, not by apologizing.

If she does come back, and you do decide to remain a couple? Pull her aside and talk with her. Tell her you really do love her, but that you’d like to take the relationship past all the baby bullshit and onto the next level. Tell her that although hot girls DO exist in the world, you only have eyes for her, and she should feel comfortable in knowing that you think she’s the hottest girl of all. And she’s YOUR girl, and that should be good enough for her.

If she does come back, let her know you want the drama taken down a few notches. Don’t give up control. Stay strong. Don’t apologize every five minutes because she blames you for something. She’s primarily responsible for her OWN happiness, and you shouldn’t be blamed for her insecurities. The more you bow your head and say you’re sorry, the more she feels vindicated in abusing your love for her.

Good luck man, and let me know how it turns out. It’s tough dating hot chicks. And if I were you, I’d seriously check up on what she’s doing… if only for your own edification.

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6 Huge Mistakes Everyone Makes Right After a Breakup

If you’re trying to reverse or fix your breakup, the most crucial time is the beginning. This is when most people – guys and girls – make the biggest and most devastating of mistakes while trying to “fight for the relationship”.

Anthony Malibu - Breakup Mistakes

These mistakes can sabotage your future. They often destroy any chance of getting back together, depending on which of them you make and how badly you botch them.

For this reason, you need to make sure you know what you’re doing. Acting out just for the sake of ‘doing something’ might be tempting, especially because it’s hard to sit still, but you need to realize that immediately after a breakup? Doing the wrong thing is ten times worse than doing nothing at all.

Below is a list of 6 big mistakes people make immediately after getting dumped. Some are bad, others are worse, but ALL of them are avoidable if you’re willing to exercise a little self-control.

And if you’ve already made some of these errors? Well, things might be bad but they can always improve. Halting these behaviors and actually turning your ex around can have a positive effect on how your former boyfriend or girlfriend sees you. And this, in turn, can lead to a reconciliation… if you play your cards right.

Resisting the Breakup

This is the first mistake people make, and it starts off a long, slippery slope of losing control. Fighting “for” the relationship, as if you could actually change your ex’s mind right now, is only going to push your boyfriend or girlfriend even further away.

Every breakup has the same goal: you need to show your ex that he or she was wrong. That breaking up isn’t really what they want, and that it’s better to be with you.

So when you fight and rage (and cry and scream) against the breakup? You’re essentially showing your ex that they were right. All of a sudden you look desperate, which in turn makes your ex say “Wow… this person needs me a LOT more than I need them. How come I never saw this before?”

From there, your ex’s mind is made up. Leaving you was the right move, for obvious reasons. I mean, just look at you, still in denial. Surely they could do better?

Sulking, Pouting, or Getting Angry

There are many emotional stages of a breakup, and they line up pretty well with the well-known stages of grief. But to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? These behaviors can make or break how they look at you as a person – and a potential partner – later on.

Your first instinct will be to grieve. You’ll sulk and get all depressed about the loss. You’ll also think that your ex will actually care for your feelings… almost like you can guilt them into coming back because you look so forlorn and glum. Reality however, is different. Because the more you pout, the more depressed you seem? The more LAME your boyfriend or girlfriend will consider your actions.

Anger is another bad move. Some people, especially guys, will get angry and lash out after being dumped. This is where you’ll say things you don’t mean; things you can’t take back later on. If you want to someday date this person again, you’ll need to avoid being angry about the breakup.

Being Needy and Desperate Toward Your Ex

Did you beg your ex to reconsider? Plead with them not to let go of “a good thing”?

Did you promise to change? Demand to know why this person broke up with you? (Hint: they’ll never fully tell you the exact reason, unless you’re willing to make this opening move)

Afterwards, did you stalk your ex on Facebook? Constantly check their Instagram? Did you send tons of text-messages to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, but only got a few (if any) of them answered?

If you did any of the above things, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot. Already you’ve come off as needy and desperate. This is a HUGE turnoff as far as your ex is concerned. The confident, fun, secure person they fell in love with is now this clingy, whiny, crying mess.

NO ONE wants to date someone like that. So the longer you do this stuff? The further you get from making your ex want you back (and the creepier it is overall).

Making Unwanted Contact

Nothing will shove your ex in the opposite direction more than unwanted contact. And yes, this means ALL manner of communication you can have with your ex, no matter how ‘innocent’ or purely platonic/friendly you think that contact might be.

Look at it this way – to get your ex back, they first need to MISS you. And they can’t possibly miss you if you’re calling, texting, emailing, Facebooking, Instagramming, and basically stalking them day and night. Even worse, the more you do these things? The more your ex gets annoyed with you. Turned off by you.

The more you do these things, the less VALUE you have in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s eyes.

What you need to do is contact your ex at the RIGHT time. It has to happen at a natural point in the breakup, where contact will be welcome and they’ll actually be happy to hear from you again.

Learn lots more about how and when to contact your ex here.

Not Using Nostalgia Tactics to Get Your Ex Back

The good news about breaking up is that you have a distinct advantage when it comes to winning your partner back. And that’s because you share a pretty important, very well-remembered past history together.

The past is something that always changes. As time goes on, your ex will tend to forget the bad things (i.e. the fighting, arguing, jealousy, etc…) and remember only the good ones. Those first awesome memories – the ones you yourself cherish? Those are the same memories your ex also enjoys going back to time and time again.

These memories can help your ex change his or her mind about losing you for good, if you’re willing to use these reconnection techniques during your reconciliation process. Read up on them carefully, because for best results they MUST be used correctly and at exactly the right time.

In total there are actually 12 deadly mistakes you can make after breaking up. And some of them are instant relationship-killers, so be especially wary of those.

Learn what the other six errors are, and be sure you’re not committing any of them before going on.

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7 Quick Moves That Will Get Your Ex Back

When people get dumped, the only thing they can focus on is reversing the situation. They work night and day, they send text after text, make call after call… they do anything and everything to make their relationship right again, even if the things they are doing are all wrong.

Anthony Malibu - 7 Moves to Win Your Ex Back

The problem is exactly that; everyone moves too quickly. They’re so desperate to get back together they don’t stop to recognize that the mistakes they’re making are killing their chances.

In the early stages, it’s often better to do nothing at all. Because when you’re committing some of the 12 biggest blunders that will drive your ex away, you would’ve been better off just sitting there and not doing anything.

That said, what about getting your ex back FAST?

Are there ways you can speed up the process of making your ex miss you? Make them need you back sooner, rather than later on?

Maybe even skip the whole No Contact phase?

Well, no. Unfortunately for everyone, No Contact is a necessary step in creating need for you again. But that’s not to say you have to sit there and do nothing during this crucial time. Because there are actions you can take – moves you can make – that will accelerate the later on phases of fixing your breakup.

The things you do NOW, immediately after your boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you, can affect the speed at which you get back together when your ex finally does come around. For this reason, it’s important to learn exactly what to do, as well as what NOT to do, while working to make your lover want and need you back.

The following 7 actions will help you through the No Contact phase, and at the same time, create an environment where your ex starts itching to see or hear from you again. The more of these moves you can make, the quicker things will come together when it’s time to get back in touch with and finally contact your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend.

Agreeing With and Accepting The Breakup

Think you can “fight for” your relationship? Change your ex’s mind? Wrong. You can’t do either of those things, at least right now.

In the very beginning, the only thing you can do is ACCEPT the breakup. The sooner you do this the better off you’ll be, because you’ll look a lot less needy and desperate later on.

Nothing is going to fix your romance right away. 99% of the time, your ex wants to stew for a while. Either they’re mad at you, or disappointed, or whatever it is, but the hard truth of things is this: they no longer see you as valuable anymore.

Before they’ll even think of taking you back, you’ve got to prove them wrong. So arguing and fighting against the break right now is only going to make things worse. The best thing to do? Agree with it. And the best way to agree is to watch this opening moves video and follow these instructions exactly.

Removing Yourself From Social Media

Know what happens right after your ex dumps you? He or she looks back over their shoulder. They want to see where you go, what you do. How you handle things, or even better, mishandle them.

How are they going to do this? Facebook. Instagram. Texts from friends. Your ex is going to look at your photos and your updates and your status changes and he or she is going to gauge your reaction by watching what you do next.

The best thing to do here is absolutely nothing at all. Don’t even bother logging into social media for the first few days. If this is hard for you, TOUGH. You’ll need to make hard choices like this if you want to win your ex back.

Think about what happens when you completely disappear like this. Your ex has NO IDEA where you went. In vanishing, you create a void in your ex’s life where you used to be. They begin to bug out because they can’t find you; they don’t know where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing.

All of these thing will help spark renewed interest in you on your ex’s part. And this is exactly what you want at this stage of the game.

Rebuilding Yourself in Your Own Best Image

Let’s go back to when your ex first fell in love with you. What did you look like? How did you act?

Were you a lot cooler around your boyfriend or girlfriend? Did you act more confident? Did you enjoy yourself more, and by default, were you happier and more optimistic than you were at the end?

All relationships go through changes, and many of them are for the worse. When the honeymoon phase is over and the ‘glow’ wears off, people will often begin taking each other for granted. They begin fighting over stupid crap. They begin harboring jealousy over the dumbest of shit.

What you need to do is remember the beginning again. Recall how you were, and how you acted (and reacted) around your ex. Your probably laughed more, the both of you. You had more fun. The relationship was still young, and you were still out to impress each other.

These things are absolutely crucial to making your ex want you again. Later on during the process of getting back together, you’ll use nostalgia triggers to bring your boyfriend or girlfriend mentally – and emotionally – back to the beginning of your relationship. So when that finally happens? You’ll need to know exactly how to act.

Preparing Mentally For Your Reconciliation

There’s no hope for you if you’re a crying, sobbing wreck. Your lover isn’t going to take you back out of pity, or guilt, or any of those things, so dry your eyes and start getting yourself together emotionally for when you start communicating with your ex again.

Likewise, don’t be angry. No one likes a sarcastic, biting person who drops passive-aggressive comments because he or she still feels bitter about the breakup. No matter what happened to end your relationship, you need to get past it if you want any chance at all at getting back together. And yes, this even includes cheating.

So clear your mind. Mentally prepare yourself for the day you talk to your ex again. You’ll need to be cheerful and you’ll need to be optimistic. Maybe even forgiving too, if you were the person who got wronged.

Preparing Physically For Your Reconciliation

And how about physically? Were you in better shape when you first started going out? Did you dress better, look better, even smell better? If so, it’s time to get those things in order as well. Because the better you look, act, and feel, the greater your chances of keeping your ex attracted to you.

We all know looks aren’t everything. But when it comes to first impressions, you’ll need to do your best. At one time, before you even spoke to each other, you and your partner sized each other up physically. So if you want the best chance of getting back together again, make sure your ex likes what they see.

Yes, this means hitting the gym. It also means hitting the mall. Get new clothes, a new outfit, new shoes, new glasses. Grab a new tan. When these things start coming together, you’ll feel better about yourself. This will of course translate into renewed confidence, which is another big trigger in making your lover want you again.

Rebuilding Your Social Life in Fantastic Ways

At first, your ex will watch you disappear. They’ll wonder where you went. You’ll be a mystery for a while, and this is a good thing.

When you finally reappear? Things need to be AWESOME. No matter what you do, or where you go, it’s got to be the best thing and the best place ever.

At this point you’ll come back to social media. When your ex sees your posts, he or she will see you surrounded by friends and family. They’ll see you doing amazing things, going really cool places, and in every single picture, smiling like there’s no tomorrow. And this is because you’re not just ‘good’ after the breakup. You’re totally great.

Again, every ex on the planet wants to see their former lover fail. This isn’t because they’re hateful, it’s because we all like to think people are better off WITH us. So when your ex sees you having the time of your life without them? Two things happen.

One, your ex becomes jealous. After all, why weren’t you doing all these amazing things while you were together with them? Were they not worth it?

Two, your ex starts questioning the breakup. And this is because you seem to be needing them a LOT less than they think you did… which starts them along the path of “hey, maybe I actually needed this person MORE than they needed me.”

Allowing Your Ex to See You Out With Other People

This one is huge. Because as much as you probably think you’ll scare your ex away once they think you’ve started dating again, actually just the opposite happens.

When your ex sees you with someone else, they always want you more. This is because you’ve suddenly proved value. The person they dumped so callously is now on someone else’s arm, which makes them question whether they actually had something GOOD when they were with you.

And if you followed the other six moves? They will think that. All of a sudden your ex will be wracked with indecision. Haunted by regret over having let you go when someone else scooped you up so quickly.

And hey, you don’t need to ‘date’ date this person. All you need to do is go out with them. Even if it’s a casual acquaintance, your former boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t know that. Even if it’s nothing more than a platonic or practice date, it’s still something that will set your ex’s teeth on edge.

Other Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Again

Fixing ANY breakup is essential about the same thing: reversing your current situation.

You want to reverse how your boyfriend or girlfriend sees you right now. You want to reverse the decision they made to end things. Ultimately, you want to reverse the steps that got you here. Walk backwards, up along the path that leads back into the really cool relationship you once had.

This is where Breakup Reversed takes over.

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This stand-alone, step-by-step system by relationship expert Robert Parsons has helped tens of thousands of couples reunite with one another and fix their broken relationships.

Over the course of more than a decade? Breakup Reversed has proved itself golden with a whopping, guaranteed 94.7% Success Rate!

This means that more than 9 out of 10 couples who employed these reversal techniques ended up reconciling in one way or another. For more information on that, check out the glowing reviews and testimonials as shown below.

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When it comes to breaking up, and making up, you only get one REAL shot at it. It’s not something you can keep trying over and over again when you get it wrong, because very quickly you’ll find that you’ve driven your partner away.

For this reason alone, you want to arm yourself with all possible knowledge before making a single move. And reading Breakup Reversed is like loading yourself to the max, and then approaching your breakup with all guns blazing.

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Why Does My Ex Still Text Me?

In the old days, a breakup was a breakup. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and you’d go on with your life.

Anthony Malibu - Why Does my Ex Text Me

But in today’s digital age? There are still DOZENS of connections between you and your ex, even after the relationship ends. Photo albums, Facebook posts, Instagram messages, emails… and of course, the hundreds or even thousands of text messages you shared during the time when the two of you were dating.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Why would he or she be keeping up text-message contact, even though you’re no longer together?

Sometimes the answer is simple; your ex is still thinking about you. You’ve left their life, maybe for good, but you still haven’t left their train of thought.

Imagine how many times you texted your boyfriend or girlfriend over the course of your romance with them. Every morning, every night… all through the day. So even now, their daily routine of talking to you is pretty standard. It’s still keeping you ‘together’, at least on a text-based level.

Other times, the answer is a bit more complicated. That’s because there are always residual feelings and emotions to deal with any time two people break up.

These are the deep-seeded ties that bound you while you were in love with each other. The ones that were so powerful in the beginning. The ones that made it so that you couldn’t keep away from each other, and wanted to spend every minute of every day together, no matter what.

And these powerful connections? They stick around for a while. They just don’t go instantly away because someone said three simple works: “let’s break up”.

An ex will text you for a number of reasons. All of them are generally signs of interest. So if you’re looking to patch things up, or try and get back together again? The fact that your ex is staying on touch with you, even on your tiny little 4-inch cellphone screen? Yeah, it’s still a pretty good thing.

The 8 Big Reasons You’ll Receive Texts From Your Ex

Below you’ll find a list of reasons why your ex is still texting you. Some mean little in the grand scheme of things, but others are a lot more telling when it comes to how your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend truly feels about you.

Your Ex Misses You… Big Time

Let’s face it, when dating someone you get used to spending an awful lot of time together. You see each other, open up about your lives, and tell each other all about daily events. It’s something you’re accustomed to, and so is your ex.

This is why you might still get the occasional message, even after being apart. Your ex is simply thinking about you. He or she misses the contact, and is reaching out for something as simple as someone to talk to, or to bounce ideas off of, like in the old days.

He or She is Used to Contacting You Every Day

Texting back and forth all day, every day, is something you’ve both taken for granted during your relationship. So if you’ve been doing it for months, even years? It’s something you – as well as your ex – might still be tempted to do.

A lot of times people think this type of text-messaging is innocent: “Oh, I like to talk to him/her, but I don’t want to get back together or anything…”

In reality? ALL texting means something. There’s no “innocent” contact when it comes to your ex, unless you’re making that one final phone call to get your stuff back. An ex who is still hammering out a bunch of small-talk on your cellphone all day is an ex who isn’t yet ready to lose you completely.

Your Ex Wants to Be Friends After the Breakup

This reason is always a hidden agenda. Believe me when I say there’s no such thing as 100% strictly platonic friends “with an ex”. That doesn’t happen, not even in movies.

Once you’re intimate with someone, that’s IT. The dynamic between you is forever changed. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge.

Yet some people will continue deluding themselves that somehow, some way, they can be ‘friends’ with someone they dated. As if one person doesn’t still love the other person just a little bit more… tilting the scales so that the balance of power always denotes a breakup “winner” and a breakup “loser”.

If your ex wants to be friends it’s because he or she WANTS something. Most of the time, it’s information. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you in their life as a security blanket; something to hold onto in case being single doesn’t work out for them. Your “friendship” is a tool. A way for your ex to have his/her cake and eat it too.

Your Ex is Checking Up on You Through Your Phone

Other times, an ex will just want to see where you are. It’s comforting to know that you haven’t moved on, haven’t started dating, and didn’t meet anyone else since the two of you went your separate ways.

Why is this? Does your ex hate you? Do they want to see you fail? Well, no and yes. No, they don’t hate you. But yes, it’s human nature to want to see you worse off than when you were with them.

In short, your ex wants to be right. They would like to believe that breaking up with you was the right move, so they use text-messages to “keep in touch” under the guise of innocent contact. Which, of course, it’s not.

He or She Drunk Texted You

Drunk-calling has now been replaced by drunk texting. This is when it’s late at night, your ex has been drinking, and his or her thoughts inevitably turn toward you.

This is a HUGE SIGN OF INTEREST! Being drunk, your defenses are always down. That’s when your true feelings rise to the surface, unhindered by any inhibitions or walls you may have been putting up.

This means your ex secretly thinks about you a lot more than you think. The alcohol acts as a catalyst for contact; rather than refrain from calling or texting you while they were sober, your drunk exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is free to do whatever they want… and blame it on the alcohol later on.

Your Ex is Nostalgic About Your Past History Together

Know why people get back together? Because the beginning of every relationship is AMAZING.

Think about that. Go back to those first few weeks (a.k.a. the ‘honeymoon phase’) of your relationship and tell me it wasn’t the best thing in the whole world. Tell me the feelings weren’t explosively powerful. Tell me the sex wasn’t Rock Star levels of Godliness.

When your ex is lonely, he or she will think back to those early times. The good times, before all the bullshit. Before all the fighting and arguing and stupid jealousy that probably broke you up.

Fixing a breakup is all about bringing these feelings back again. There are some really great methods and techniques for making your ex remember how much they really love being with you, if you’re willing to sit down and learn them.

Your Ex Wants to Hook Up, Meet Up, Have Sex, Etc…

This one is the Booty Call. The unapologetic “hey, let’s hang out” text that ends up in bed with the two of you rolling around naked. And hey, that’s okay. Sex is actually a big part of getting back together.

Take this text for what it is; your ex is still physically attracted to you. Whether or not that leads to a more emotional and permanent connection is still up in the air, but at least you’re moving in the right direction.

Your Ex is Feeling You Out on the Subject of Getting Back Together

In the final stages of a breakup, right before you get back together again, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend will try and gauge your feelings. They’d like to know that if they suggested giving your romance another chance, they’re not going to be rejected or shot down.

That’s where this text comes in. Your partner will usually be more overt about his or her intentions here, asking factual questions about where you are, how you’ve been doing (emotionally), and whether or not you’re dating someone else. You’ll also get “do you miss me?” and “do you remember when we used to XYZ?” a lot, which is his or her way of trying to remind you of how good you were together.

A former lover who gets nostalgic or reminiscent about the past is a lover who wants to create future times with you. So yeah, your ex is probably about to ask you out again. Roll with it, if that’s what you want, and encourage such contact. Then see where it goes.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

In the end, there are lots of signs and signals your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will give off when they’re showing interest in you again. Spotting these signs, and then knowing what to do about them? Well, that’s the tricky part.

Why does me ex text me? Truth is, it’s an extension of your past relationship. Breakups HURT. Messaging back and forth can alleviate that pain, even if just for a little while.

All said, timing is everything when it comes to reconciling. You need to make the right moves, at the right times, while avoiding all of the wrong ones.

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