3 Important Texts You Can Send to Your Ex

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear: texting your ex during the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup is almost always a bad idea. There are some very big reasons you need to leave your ex alone during this stage, so if you haven’t read them already, check them out by going here.

Messages to Send Your Ex

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

The most desired of all communication, when you’re trying to get back together, is any form of contact initiated by your ex. The fact that your former boyfriend or girlfriend is calling or texting you, rather than the other way around, shows a lot more in the way of serious interest.

There are ways of getting your ex to call or text you. Some are fairly obvious. Others are a lot more subtle.

All of them however, can put you back in the driver’s seat. You take back a lot of that missing power and control when your ex is forced to make that extremely coveted first move.

Yet before even that can happen, you’ll need to use these emotional bonding techniques to make your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend MISS you first. When your ex misses you, ANY contact you make with them will be a positive, welcomed connection. This makes your overall chances of getting back together a lot more successful in the end.

Sometimes though, you have to make the first move. There are times when it’s necessary to reach out to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to get things moving in the right direction.

If this is where you’re at, you can often break the ice with a simple text-message. Here are three examples of texts you can send to your ex when you’re looking to reconnect:

The ‘I Agree With the Breakup Text’

If you’ve been fighting the breakup or trying just about everything to get your ex to go back out with you, this is a good one to start with. Essentially you’re coming off as no longer interested in dating this person, but would rather carry on a platonic friendship with them.

You’re going to give them a text they can’t possibly argue with. Something like:

“Hey, what’s up? Listen, you were right about us being better off apart. Sorry it took me a while to get it! Anyway, we were good friends before we started dating, and it would suck to lose that friendship just because we can’t be together. Let me know if you want to get lunch or something, so we can catch up!”

This is a non-threatening, non-confrontational way of accepting the situation for what it is; you’re no longer together, but at the same time you’re looking to save whatever pre-dating relationship (i.e. friendship) you used to have.

This isn’t saying you’re going to be best buddies with your ex – that’s never a good idea. But you’ll make them think you want to be friends in order to jockey for better position when you DO make the bigger moves (step 5 and step 6) later on down the line.

The ‘Nostalgia Trigger’ Text Message

Think back to your past relationship. Where did you go? What did you do? Try to envision which special places or times or even sports teams you shared with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and pick one that’s really GOOD.

You need to grab hold of one he or she will remember. One your ex will associate with you. For example, let’s say you went to the NY Jets games a few times together, and always had an awesome time. At that point you can send a text like:

“Hey, did you see that one-handed catch the other night? That happened
RIGHT where we were sitting last January!”

You can substitute anything here, as long as it’s relevant.

“Holy shit, did you notice [NAME OF A RESTAURANT] burned/closed down the other day? I was just thinking of all the times we went there together!”

“Did you see Terminator 8 yet? It was insane! What was the name of that theater
where we went to see Terminator 7?”

Basically, that sort of thing. You pick something you know was fun or important for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and hopefully something relevant to you relationship. A holiday or event you went to. A favorite band that happens to be back in town again. Then you make an innocent comment on it, in the form of a text message, and follow the reply up with something like “By the way, how’ve you been? Things cool with you?”

The ‘Congratulatory’ or ‘Checking up on Someone’ Text

This is really two different texts, but with the same basic flavor. For this one, you need to pick an event that happened recently in your ex’s life. Maybe they graduated. Maybe they got a new job. Choose something positive, and then text them with:

“Hey, congrats! I heard you were accepted to Cornell! That’s totally awesome!”

You can also use this method to check up on an existing situation in your ex’s family or circle of friends. For this one, you’ll need to have dated them a little longer, so you have a much better clue as to what’s going on in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s social life.

“Just wanted to know how everything worked out for your mom. Is she out
of the hospital yet? Tell her I hope she feels better.”

Again, you want to deliver the message in such a way that you’re almost making small talk. Only it’s not a pointless “Sup?” text, which is the lamest possible thing you can send. You’d be surprised how many people think they can start up a new conversation with something as simple as that, and still expect a positive result.

What to Do if You’re Stuck on How to Make Contact

Sometimes it seems things go awkwardly no matter how you communicate with your ex. You might feel like you’re bothering them, or that they’re really not that interested in hearing from you at all.

When this is the case, you need to up your game. You need to put some new weapons in your arsenal, rather than fight with the same old dull ones you keep trying to no avail.

Text Your Ex Back System

Text Your Ex Back contains some ground-breaking, next-level stuff.

It’s a complete step-by-step SYSTEM showing you how to break the ice, make contact, and continue to communicate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend on only the most positive levels.

Learn what to do… what to say… and exactly WHEN you should be saying it. The system teaches you how to trigger deep-seeded emotional attachments already within your ex’s mind and heart, and then use those attachments to re-generate his or her original feelings for you again.

If you’re looking for the ultimate guide on what to say after a breakup, look no further. Check out the many sharp tools within Text Your Ex Back, and get started right away on the one and only CORRECT path to reconciliation.

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My Girlfriend Wants a Break – What Can I Do?

The words are like getting stabbed in the gut with a rusty knife:

Anthony Malibu - Girlfriend Wants a Break

“I think maybe we should take a BREAK from each other…”

Your mind reels. The blood rushes to your head as you struggle for something to say.

And what do you even say to that? Your girlfriend is rejecting you. Hard. And not just in the traditional breakup sort of way, she’s actually demoting you to the lamest of all possible places in her life: she’s putting you on a shelf, to be dealt with ‘later on’ (or whenever she feels like it).

If your girlfriend wants to take a break, you’d better act fast. Any sort of inaction or complacency on your part will result in her continuing the break for as long as she wants. This, essentially, is like handing her all the power. You’re giving her the keys to your relationship and telling her she gets to drive.

Know what happens next? She drops you off. Or maybe she kicks you out of the car while it’s still moving. Either way, your girl isn’t likely to change the ‘break’ status anytime soon, as long as you’re peacefully and obediently going along with it like a good little boy.

What to Say When Your Girlfriend Wants Time Apart

You say NO. Plain and simple. You need to be firm, you need to be rigid, and you need to be STONE COLD in your attitude.

“No, but thanks anyway. I don’t ‘do’ breaks. Breaks are bullshit.”

If you ever wonder why a girl would tell you she wants a break instead of a straight-up breakup, it really boils down to one thing: uncertainty. Your now ex-girlfriend is hedging her bets. She’s not 100% ready to let you go just yet, so she does the next best thing; she strings you along. She dangles the carrot of ‘maybe we’ll get back together’ in front of your face while she goes out and plays the field and decides whether or not she can find some other guy – some stronger guy – who makes her feel more wanted and loved and safe and secure than you do.

If your girlfriend springs the whole ‘time apart’ thing on you, it’s because you’ve been weak. Either you haven’t been fulfilling her needs, or you’ve been wishy-washy as a boyfriend in general. Maybe you’re insecure. Maybe you’re always apologizing for everything, or joking that you’re dating ‘out of your league’. All of these things will make a girl wonder why she’s with you in the first place. In short, you’re digging your own grave.

By denying her the break you’re delivering a message. You’re essentially rejecting her as much as she’s rejecting you. Because rather than scramble to get her back, or try to “fight” for the relationship (which is exactly what she wants), you’re crumpling the romance into a ball and casually tossing it over your shoulder.

She wants a break? Fine. No problem. You’re TOTALLY willing to go out and see other people yourself. Tell her this, and see how fast she changes her tune. Mention this to her, and see how quickly she tells you “Well, I don’t think we should see other people, I just think we should take some time apart.”

She’s backpedaling. At which point you say:

“Yeah, no thanks. If we’re together, we’re TOGETHER. If we’re not, we’re not. I’m not doing things half-assed. I’m not going to sit around in some lame relationship limbo while waiting for you to figure things out.”

Be TOUGH. It’s the only way to keep her. It’s the only way to make your girlfriend come face to face with the reality of losing you all at once, rather than letting you go little by little while she ‘decides’ whether or not she can find some other guy.

The WORST THING YOU CAN DO When Your Girlfriend Wants Time Apart

Keep in mind that when your girlfriend offers ‘a break’ the very first thing she expects is resistance. She wants you to fight. She wants to see how much you really do care. Begging, pleading – all of these things seem like they might help get her back, but in reality they’re only going to turn her off even more and ratify the decision she already made to distance herself from you.

Your girlfriend also wants you to talk her out of the break. At this point she won’t ever be talked out of it, but she wants to see you try. This is because when you’re groveling for her approval she’s suddenly in the position of being right (and you’re in the position of being instantly wrong). She assumes control. She’s using the break as a scare tactic to gauge your reaction, and most of all, to see if you’re worthy of actually dating her.

So yeah, it’s a test. A test of your manhood. Chase her, and you fail. Come up with 1,000 reasons you should stay together, and she’ll have 1,001 reasons you should be apart. It’s a game, really. And it’s not a game you can win, so you shouldn’t even be playing it.

What to Do if You’re Already on a Break

Now if this conversation already happened and you meekly “agreed” to take time apart? Well, you’re in trouble. Fortunately though, it’s never too late to fix this situation.

Your first move is to employ these counter-rejection techniques. DO THEM NOW, and don’t wait. They’ll get you immediately started on reversing the entire situation, and seizing back most of that power you already lost when you accepted her offer to ‘take a break’ from each other.

After that, it’s time to sack up. Figure out what you’ve been doing (or not doing) to drive her in the opposite direction, and rectify that situation as well. Check out these 4 huge mistakes most guys make when they feel like they’re losing control of their relationship. How many of them are you guilty of?

Ultimately, any ‘break’ will always become a breakup unless you DO SOMETHING about it. Sitting still won’t help. Waiting patiently, and hoping she’ll somehow come to her senses, is the worst possible move. Being proactive here is the most important thing you can do to keep your relationship alive and healthy. Being reactive, unfortunately, will always get you dumped.

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Ex Boyfriend Already Dating? Here’s How to STEAL HIM BACK!

“I need some space…” he said, or maybe “some time to myself.” Only that time must have included some other people, because all of a sudden your ex boyfriend is DATING AGAIN.

Anthony Malibu - Steal Your Boyfriend Back

It hits you like a ton of bricks; that gut feeling of hopelessness. All those beautiful plans you made, the time you spent together – all of it gone – lost, forever, in the blink of an eye.

And if you tried to get him back? Obviously you failed. Your boyfriend is dating someone else now, and he has a new girlfriend. Someone else is kissing him. Someone else is in his bed.

Some other girl is making him happy, which means there’s no longer a shot at ever fixing your breakup and getting back together, like you one day somehow planned to do with him.

Or is there???

Want the truth? EVERY breakup has a path to reversal. Even the ones that led your boyfriend in another direction, to where he suddenly took up with someone new.

Keeping this in mind, if you’re not ready to give up on your boyfriend just yet, there’s still hope. Because there are lots of ways to get him back, even when he’s currently in the arms of another woman. Especially if he’s in the arms of another woman, actually, because right now, as his exgirlfriend? You’re working from a position where you now have certain advantages that you never had before.

Steps to Get Your Boyfriend Back From His New Girlfriend

Regardless of how long it’s been since you broke up, the important thing here is timing. Because there’s a certain time period (the honeymoon stage) where you’ll NEVER be able to win your boyfriend back from his new relationship… but there’s also a window of opportunity where it actually becomes easier to change his mind and make him fall back in love with you again.

It’s during that later stage that you need to strike. That’s when you need to make your move, and not a second before. Because if you act too soon? You’ll push him in the other direction. If you wait too long? You run the risk of losing his interest.

Getting your boyfriend back is a balancing act. Especially so when he’s already in a new relationship with some other girl. Here are the steps you’ll need to steal him away from his new girlfriend, and bring him back to you again:

Step 1 – Acceptance and Withdrawal

Your first move is always the same; you must accept and agree with your ex’s decision to break up. This means you MUST stop fighting it, no matter how much you still love him, and you MUST stop trying to get him back.

Calling, texting, emailing, Instagram, Facebook; if you’re doing these things you’re still chasing him, even if you say that you’re not. Only once you’ve agreed that yes, you should probably be apart from one another, will your ex start to see you as an ally (i.e. someone he can talk to and confide in) rather than a crazy exgirlfriend who still isn’t over him for one reason or another.

Step 2 – Waiting Out the Honeymoon Phase of his Rebound Relationship

If your boyfriend started dating this new girl almost immediately after breaking up with you, you’re probably pissed off. In reality however, this is a pretty good thing. Here’s why:

Right now, your ex is in a rebound relationship. He’s enjoying the comfort and companionship (and let’s be honest, the attraction and the sex) of a new romance, and everything is exciting to him. There’s NOTHING you can do right now… NOTHING you can say to stop him, or her, or their budding new affair.

In fact, your boyfriend is going to see any resistance on your part as jealousy. He’ll pay no mind to it. He’ll chalk it up to you still wanting him back, which defeats the purpose of step 1.

However, your ex is on a rebound right now, and this is good news. Why? Because the roller coaster of a rebound won’t last forever. It’ll only last until he gets bored of this new girl, or tired of her crap, or sick of something she does that’s different from what you did for him.

In other words, he’s going to be comparing this girl to YOU. Why? Because he just dated you. He’ll take the bad things this new girl does and hold them up to the candle of all the cool things you did well. This glorifies you in his eyes, and the first major fight the two of them have? That’ll be the first time your ex calls or texts or reaches out to you in the middle of the night, possibly to get your opinion on things, and definitely because he misses you.

Once again, this won’t happen if you haven’t fulfilled step one. Learn how to agree with the breakup (even if the breakup already happened) by watching this free opening moves video and understanding there’s a right and wrong way to do this important step.

Step 3 – Contacting or Reconnecting With Your Ex

When the time is right, your boyfriend will call you. Or maybe he’ll text you, just to test the waters. When this happens, you need to be COOL. And to be cool, that means you need to shed all of the anger, hate, bitterness, or sorrow you might have been feeling toward him all these last weeks.

Yes, he left you. Yes, he has a new girlfriend. And yes, as much as this pisses you off, you’re going to need to put all that aside in order to be COOL with him. Know why? Because a cool exgirlfriend is a SAFE ex girlfriend.

You need your ex to feel safe in talking to you. In confiding things to you. If he suspects you’re going to rat him out or go running to his new girlfriend with any info he might give you your boyfriend will clam up and never call you again.

So LISTEN to him. Be understanding, even if it hurts. Basically, you want to establish a neutral, almost “friendly” trust with him. That way you can seek out and make note of the problems within his new relationship, so that later on, you can use those problems as leverage to get him back.

Look at it this way; every relationship has chinks in its armor – even the best ones. By studying the weaknesses of your exboyfriend’s new romance, you can put yourself in prime position to strike when the iron is hot. Which will usually be after a major fight, when your boyfriend is emotionally at his weakest and most vulnerable. This is when he’ll be most nostalgic about your past relationship. This is always when he’ll be most susceptible to wanting you back.

Other Steps to Getting Him Back From His New Girlfriend

You’ve read three big steps so far that will help pry your man back from the arms of another woman. But guess what? There are 5 more.

There is a full 8 Step Process To Stealing Your Boyfriend Back from his new girlfriend, so make sure you learn ALL of them! Having a plan will always give you the best possible chance for success.

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My Boyfriend Says He Lost Feelings For Me – How Do I Get Him Back?

Hi Anthony!

First of all, I enjoy reading your articles about how to get the exboyfriend back. It makes a lot of sense. But that exboyfriend of mine is saying to me, “I’m way down the road,” and also, “I have lost feelings for you.” The reasons he left we could fix together, for sure, but he never talked about how unhappy he was in the relationship before the breakup. We just abruptly broke up. Here are the reasons for the breakup: My obsession with rescuing animals, (no time for him), religious issue(my saying grace over the food whenever), drinking/partying issue (can\’t drink much, diabetic), no sex issue. That’s it.

He said he lost sexual attraction for me. Since then I have stop rescuing, gotten rid of all my animals except 4 cats. I told him that. I have a lot of time for him. I pleaded with him to give me another chance. He was negative about it. Said he lost all feelings for me. That we should go find better people to be with.

We never argued, and always went on fabulous vacations, had a blast every time. I have given him his space, but have sent him emails that he has totally ignored. His ex wife who I\’m friends with told me that he has moved on, and I should too. I even sent him an invite out for a drink, but he didn\’t respond at all. Would you method work on him? How can I work my way back? I love him. Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Margery!

Sorry to hear about the problems you’ve been having with your boyfriend! It’s always sad to hear about stuff like this. You sound like you’ve been a good girlfriend and you’ve done just about everything possible to keep the relationship going, only to have him continually reject your attempts at fixing things.

It sounds a lot like he is losing interest, but it’s hard to really know until you’ve actually let him go yourself. So far you haven’t done that. Your constant attention to him (calling, going to his hockey game, inviting him out for drinks) is a constant reminder that you’re still there, waiting for him, wanting him, ready to take him back the moment he gets bored or feels like he needs you. Only he won’t feel like he needs you until he turns, looks to see where you are, and finds out that you’ve already gone away.

When’s the last time you talked to him? Emailed or texted him? What happens if you stop all contact – does he eventually call or email you? The fact he kissed you before his hockey game may have been a good sign, but I need to know more about how long he lets a lack of contact ‘go’ before he starts missing you or needing to hear from you.

I find it sad that you’ve changed so many of your basic traits for him. Rescuing animals is an amazing thing (I’m a big dog-lover), and you gave it up for him. I couldn’t imagine giving up pets for anyone! And although I’m not too religious, I would never begrudge anyone who is, much less someone who likes to say grace. Seems like you’ve bent over backward for him.

Give me a shout and let me know how things are going. I’m pulling for you!
Anthony

Breakup Advice Separator

Thanks Anthony for your reply.

I saw him on Dec 2nd. That was when I went out to his house to take Christmas gifts to his sisters. I spent half a day, and hockey game that night. He let me touch him, and snuggle with him on the couch, even though he told me that afternoon that he had lost all feelings for me. That’s when he called me darling, pumpkin, baby. He ask me to go to Walmart with him to get more lights. Then I went to his hockey game that evening. We kissed each other before he went out on the ice for good luck. I watched his entire game. After the game and he cleaned up, I waited for him. I said that I’ll go get my clothes and spend the night with him. He said why don’t we wait another night that we don’t have to work. Said okay. He walked me to the car, and we both kissed again and hugged. I left, and called his sister that lives with him and told her I thought we were getting back together. But, when he got home, she said she asked him if we were getting back together, and he said no, and she said I told her about spending the night, and he said he didn’t tell me that. Next day I got the bad email from him of not getting back together as before. What changed him?

I haven’t spoken to him since. But I did email him, send a hand written to his house, and sent the nude picture of me on text. That all was last month too. He hasn’t called me at all. Neither has he responded to any of the emails I sent him.

For 10 years he phoned me every day when he is on the road. He travels weekly for his work, leaving on Monday and returning on Thursday. Thursday night he plays hockey, Saturday morning, and Sunday night. We get together in between. Also, I had the animals to take care of. Even a blind cat I fed everyday down the street for 2 years until I had to put it to sleep.
He would say that I need to get rid of some of those____cats. I even had turtles that I rescued also to feed. Big responsibility. That was the only thing I heard him complain about.

I’m back to the no contact rule. I have cut of even his sisters, and his ex wife from talking with them or emailing them. They feel really bad for me. We were all close, and enjoyed each others company. Do you think there is hope. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose him for good.

How do I rekindle the spark between us? Anthony, you are the expert in these matters.

He lives 40 minutes away from me. I don’t know if he misses me, cause when we broke up he was going places, like Las Vegas with his buddies, trying to stay away from Houston. He went to Cancun with some friends and their 20 yr old daughters/friends. I was suppose to go on that trip with him too. But he didn’t include me because we had already broken up. What do you suggest I do that would get him interested. Make him jealous?

Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Sounds like you’re doing the right things right now.

The last few months have been full of holidays. This means he’s been around people, family, etc… You said yourself that he vacationed a lot as well. All of this means he’s had zero to no time alone, and that translates to little to no time missing you.

Perhaps in the coming weeks he’ll miss you more, simply because everything dies down. There are no more holidays until Easter (except for Valentine’s day, which is when he’ll certainly think of you) and he’ll be home more.

Cutting yourself off from his family is a good move. Cutting off all contact, including Facebook, etc… is a GREAT one. If you’re still friends on Facebook, I’d suggest disconnecting that tie. As hard as it might be, it’ll make him nervous that maybe, just maybe, you’re finally moving on.

Do you think he’s got someone else? I don’t mean to get too personal, but how often was the sex between you? If he’s gone from having a constant sex life to having none at all, I’d wonder if maybe he’s not seeing another girl. But if there was little to no sex toward the end of the relationship to begin with, that’ll make it a bit harder for him to miss you.

In the end you’ve done what he asked (with the animals). When you DO start talking to him again, make sure he realizes you’ll have a lot more time for him. But don’t make it sound like you’re desperate to be with him either. Doing your own thing – and yes, perhaps making him jealous – is the best thing you can do at this point.

Breakup Advice Separator

Unfortunately we haven’t had sex for quite some time (3 years), hard to believe. But, he never overtly said to me, “hey what’s wrong here?” I really didn’t think he wanted any cause he never said anything. He told me the last time I saw him that he hinted to me. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the move. He didn’t communicate to me that he was unhappy with our relationship at any time. He could be seeing someone now, and that is why he is ignoring me. I guess I could try to make him jealous with going out with someone else.

And I will disconnect his family from my face book. I have already unfriended him. He has not blocked me from his face book either.

I will keep you posted. Do you think that I have lost him forever? I pray that he comes back around.

Breakup Advice Separator

Well, the no sex thing is tough. Not saying it’s anyone’s fault in particular, but if he hasn’t touched you in that long he might not be interested in sex at all anymore.

Beyond sex however, there are many other methods of attachment. Did you ever live together? It’s hard to cut someone out of your life that you’ve been seeing and talking to every day. He wouldn’t just do that without another person to make the transition more seamless, which is why I think maybe he’s got someone else. Even if not physically, mentally and emotionally.

As cool as it is that you’re friends with his family, and even his ex wife, those casual everyday relationships are stacking the deck against you. The more you talk to them – even about innocent little things – the more he’ll hear about it (and the less he’ll need to hear from you).

Right now his ex-wife is saying stuff like “Oh, she’s still hung up on you… poor thing. I told her you’ve moved on and she should too.” Translated to him: this girl isn’t going anywhere ANYTIME soon. Which means he can pretty much blow you off and do whatever he wants, knowing he can get you back anytime.

To fix this situation, you need to cut off all possible information your ex boyfriend could get about you: friends, family, co-workers, etc… This will create distance. Mystery. Suddenly you’ve disappeared, and he doesn’t know where you are. He’s not sure whether or not he can get you back, and that leads to something extremely important (possibly even most important): him second-guessing himself.

While you’re doing this, you need to go out and have the best possible time without him. When and if he does hear anything about you, it should be that you were out laughing and having a great time. He should hear – through the grapevine and not directly – that you’ve been going places and doing things and NOT ASKING ABOUT HIM AT ALL. And yes, if you happen to go out on a few dates with someone else? That’s certain to spark jealousy, which in turn will spark his interest. You don’t have to throw yourself at the first guy you see, or even get serious about anyone… just going out casually with a guy or guy(s) should be enough – when coupled with a complete lack of contact on your part – to let him know he’d better do one of two things: step up and get back in touch with you OR face the possibility of losing you for good.

I’m not entirely sure you’ve lost him forever. He’s gone quite some time without initiating contact, but then again, you’ve been the one contacting him. Calling him. Sending him invites and photos. Those things might be enough to feed his ego and make him strong. Take them away and he might weaken, only time will tell. You just have to be absolutely extreme in your no contact. Even the smallest “most innocent” email or text could break weeks of silence.

Let’s see what happens on Valentine’s day. If you’re completely silent between then and now, I wonder if he won’t at least send you an e-card or email mentioning that he’s thinking about you. What do you think?

Breakup Advice Separator

Anthony, You are great! Thank you so much.

I really appreciate your guidance. God knows I need it.

The sex thing, well when I went out to his house the second time, and we were setting on the couch close together he let me put my hand almost on his leg very close to his you know what without taking his hand away either. I was surprised because in the near past he would move my hand away. And remember the night of the hockey game we talked about spending the night together, and then he changed his mind the next day.

I’m going to unfriend his relatives on my face book too like you said would help me. I never lived with him. We talked about marriage, but he didn’t want all those animals around him he said in his house. He’s not an animal person either.

I don’t think he would send me a Valentine. He always sent me flowers at work or just give them to me on the weekend when I would see him. If he’s dating someone then he will probably get them the Valentine. I need to find out if he is dating someone. Thanks again so much, Margery

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Contacting Your Ex Boyfriend – When and How to Do It

Breaking up is about being apart. This makes you miss each other, but it also creates huge gaps between you that can make future contact pretty awkward.

Anthony Malibu - When and How to Contact Your Ex

Very often you won’t know when or how to get back in touch with your ex. Maybe you’ve even tried, and your attempts at keeping in touch have been met with resistance.

If your boyfriend is cold or callous when he talks to you, it can be emotionally devastating. It can make you feel like there’s no more hope; as if he’s moved on already, and there’s nothing more you can do.

At the same time, you’ll feel like not contacting him is even worse. You’ll feel him slipping away, as if he’ll forget about you more and more as each day goes by without talking, texting, or seeing him.

There’s a 6 Step-Process to Get Back With an Ex. One of those steps is the NO CONTACT phase, where you pull away from your ex long enough to make him miss you, need you, and eagerly want to hear from you again.

But when it’s time to get back in touch? There are a variety of ways you can make contact with your ex boyfriend again. Here are just a few of them:

Facebook or Instagram Contact

Of all the ways to reopen the lines of communication, this one is rock bottom. You really want to avoid contacting your ex through social media if at all possible, because it’s one of the most impersonal ways of reconnecting.

Essentially, you’re reaching here, and desperately so. Worse, your boyfriend can easily ignore this attempt at contacting him by simply doing nothing. This will leave you wondering if he even got your message at all.

Texting Your Ex After the Breakup

Again this is impersonal, and because you sent thousands of text-messages to each other over the course of your relationship, this will get lost in a sea of ‘whatever’. Texting your ex when you haven’t seen or talked to him in a long while is a huge copout. You’re showing your insecurity and lack of confidence; you’re sweating him so much you can’t even carry on a conversation with this guy. So why the hell would he want to date you?

Now if your ex texts you, you’ll need to know EXACTLY how to respond. In that case, check out this video on what to text your exboyfriend when he does reach out to you.

Emailing Your Ex Boyfriend

Marginally better than texting, this is still not the best idea. The bad news is he can ignore the email as if he never got it, leaving you in total limbo. The good news however, is that you get to craft a longer message. You aren’t limited to a certain number of words or characters, like on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. You can really pour your heart out here. But should you?

Remember, when getting back in touch after a breakup you always want first contact to be short. You need to get in quick, keep things light and positive, and get out of the conversation on your own terms.

Here’s a complete guide on what to say when you make first contact with your ex boyfriend. Also included here, and even more important? What NOT to say to him if you still want him back!

Calling Your ExBoyfriend on the Phone

Here’s where you really up the ante on winning him back. Because until you’re willing to actually talk to your boyfriend, in a real live conversation? He’s never going to take your attempts at reconciliation seriously.

Up until you call him, he’ll see your texts and emails as signs of interest. He may be flattered by these things, but for the most part he’ll brush them off. In short, you’re giving up control. And you don’t have very much control to begin with, if he was the one who initiated the breakup.

There are certain times that are optimal for calling or contacting your ex. Know what these are, because when it comes to making him receptive to taking you back? Timing is everything.

Physically Seeing or Running Into Your Ex

There are two approaches to seeing your exboyfriend here. One is to just flat out show up and talk to him. And this one is risky.

Again, you don’t want to force your boyfriend into anything unwanted. He needs to NEED to hear from you again, or even see you, before you start making any moves. This requires him missing you first, so you must go through the no contact portion of the breakup reversal process. All of the steps are vital, and you can’t skip anything.

The second approach is to ‘accidentally’ show up somewhere your ex is going to be. This could require some reconnaissance (through friends, family, or even social media) but you absolutely must not let him know that you intentionally came to see him. This would look desperate, and if he smells that desperation it’s something that will immediately set you back to square ONE.

How Can I Get My Ex to Call Me?

Great question, I’m glad you asked it. Because as difficult as it is to initiate contact with someone who dumped you, the whole situation becomes MUCH easier when your boyfriend is the one who actually calls you.

There are several ways to accomplish this, and not all of them will fit your own particular breakup scenario. Read up on them and learn which one might be right for you. Then go for it, but only after you’ve gone NO CONTACT for the required period of time.

Ultimately contact is necessary for ANY reconciliation. Never be afraid of it. Never be too timid, or laid back, and fearful to make some moves of your own. Your boyfriend isn’t going to wait forever, and neither are the girls who might already be getting in line to date him.

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Want Your Girlfriend Back? Don’t Make ANY of These 4 Mistakes!

The road to getting back together can be long or short. Unfortunately, it can also be a marathon.

Anthony Malibu - Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you get too eager or too desperate, your actions can drive your girlfriend completely away. At best, she’ll be annoyed with you. At worst, it can change the way she sees you forever… in some very negative ways.

Again, fixing a breakup is often about what you don’t do. Some guys are so eager to take action – any kind of action – that they’ll trip over their own feet in an effort to fix things that aren’t even broken.

Below are a list of horrendous mistakes you can make while trying to convince a girlfriend to take you back. Make just a few of these blunders, and you’ll lose any shot you have of regaining your old relationship.

Sulking, Crying, Acting Like The World is Ending

Some guys wear their heart on their sleeve. And you know what? Sappy movies, bad TV shows, and Cosmopolitan have done their level best to convince guys to be more emotional. That’s it’s okay to cry, or show their softer side, because girls LOVE that sort of thing.

But nope. Not after a breakup.

There’s no planet in this universe where pity actually works. All the crying in the world isn’t going to make her want you again, and in fact, it’ll make you look like a weak-willed douche. The kind of pansy ANY girl shies away from dating, because that type of person isn’t even a man. You’re a boy at best, crying and sulking and trying to trick your girlfriend into feeling sorry enough for you that she wants to end your pain by agreeing to go back out with you.

Sulking is the WORST thing you can do after a break. It’s a huge turnoff. Your friends, your family – maybe they’ll feel a bit sorry for you, but when it comes to your girlfriend you’re basically telling her “I am no longer boyfriend material.”

Getting Angry or Bitter About the Breakup

In this pathetic display of “strength” you launch a major offensive. Maybe even a verbal (or sometimes physical) tirade against all the wrongs and injustices your girlfriend committed during the course of your relationship.

And guess what? You come off as a crybaby. A bitter asshole she’s glad to be rid of. You’re exhibiting the exact immaturity she doesn’t want in a potential partner, and you’re justifying her decision to break up with you as the RIGHT decision.

You Threaten to Harm Yourself (or Worse, Your Girlfriend)

You shouldn’t be dumb enough to try this one, but I’ll talk about it anyway: YOU’LL NEVER FORCE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP with threats of bodily harm, suicide, or any of that stupid baby bullshit. You’re throwing a tantrum and that’s all it is – that’s all it should ever get recognized for.

Yes you may be frustrated. Yes, it may seem like your girlfriend isn’t answering your calls or listening to your voicemails or responding to your text messages. But that’s fine. There are other ways of getting her to talk to you rather than threatening her, or yourself, with violence.

Never go this route when trying to get your ex back, even if you’re desperate. At best you look like a complete psychopath. At worst you’ll end up in jail, or with an ambulance called to your house by your exgirlfriend because you threatened to hurt yourself.

You Beg Your Girlfriend ‘For Another Chance’ and ‘Promise to Change’

Number one, your girlfriend doesn’t want to give your relationship another chance (at least right now). Number two, begging and pleading are wholly unattractive, especially to a woman, and especially when you’re trying to get that woman to consider you as her ‘man’ again.

A man doesn’t beg. He doesn’t plead. He doesn’t make lame-sounding promises that “things will be different”. A MAN actually walks AWAY after someone dumps him, as if hey, guess what? He’s going to be happier and better off without this person who rejected him anyway.

This sounds like callous macho bullshit, but in reality this is exactly what will turn your girlfriend around. Because the more you beg and plead and act like you actually did something wrong the more it makes you guilty. Guilty of what? Of anything, really. Doesn’t matter, because in looking ‘wrong’ about the relationship it ratifies your girlfriend’s decision to end things.

In re-attracting your girlfriend, indifference is key. You don’t have to be a jerk to her, and you don’t have to treat her like crap. But you DO have to act as if you could care less whether or not you get back together with her. Do that, and you’ll fill her mind with doubt. Do that, and you’ll soon find HER chasing YOU.

Positive Traits That Will Get Your Girlfriend Back

Now that you’ve learned what NOT to do after your girl breaks up with you, it’s time to learn what you can. Here’s a complete list of traits and behaviors women find attractive in men. Learn these well, and you’ll not only fix your breakup, but you’ll master the art of dealing with women as well.

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My Ex Says He Loves Me, But He’s Not Ready to Get Back Together

So you’re talking with your ex boyfriend. Seeing him. Maybe even sleeping with him as well. All signs point to a reconciliation, and you’re eagerly awaiting those awesome few words: “Will you be my girlfriend?” again.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Stringing You Along

Instead, your ex avoids the question. He’s distant. Wishy-washy. So you ask him flat out where things are going, and your former boyfriend tells you:

“I still love you… but I’m just not ready for another relationship
right now.”

Now there are other ways he can word this too. Your ex might give you the “I’m still working on myself” line. Or he may string you along with “It’s too soon” or “Just give me some time.”

In all of those cases, he’s still with you. Still shows up to hang out with you. Still sleeps with you, and the sex is even better than before because now there’s a nasty, forbidden element to it.

So you wait… not-so-patiently. You’re happy with the contact, but you want more. Yet at the same time, you’re afraid of pushing your ex boyfriend too hard. As if pressing him for an answer might push him away for good, and you’ll lose him forever.

So what gives? Does he really want to be with you again? Or is your exboyfriend just giving you the blowoff… maybe stringing you along for as long as possible just so he can get a few extra weeks of post-breakup relationship (and post-breakup sex) with you?

The Real Reasons Your Ex Won’t Take You Back

First of all, if you’re trying to fix your breakup it’s always good thing that he’s still seeing you. At the same time, you can’t take everything he’s saying at face value. No matter what your ex says to you, his ultimate goal is his best interests. Meaning that he’s going to do what HE wants to do, and not just take you back for the sake of making you happy.

The good news is he’s not ready to lose you. He’s hanging onto your past relationship because he still feels emotionally connected. He’s probably torn; part of him wants a fresh start with someone else, but a bigger part of him wants to see if the two of you can actually work out.

The problem however, is that his actions are selfish. By telling you he loves you, he’s basically “locking you up” for now. He’s making sure you don’t go anywhere, while at the same time he’s free to do what he wants (and with who he wants). On top of that you might even be sleeping with him, which is like giving your ex everything he had when he was still dating you, but without the responsibilities of actually having to answer to you as a girlfriend.

And hey, guess what? While you sit there and do nothing? NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. Your former boyfriend isn’t going to alter the situation, because there’s no incentive for him to change anything. He has you; your companionship, your contact, your love and even your intimacy. What else does he really need? At this point, the title of boyfriend/girlfriend only serves to weigh him down.

Why Would My Ex Say That He Still Loves Me?

Two reasons. One, he really does still love you. His feelings for you are genuine, even if he hasn’t recommitted to a relationship yet.

But the other reason? It’s because he doesn’t want you to leave. He’s using the “I’m still in love with you” line as a way to keep you bound to him. It’s a tool he whips out whenever he feels you pulling away… whenever he feels like you might be getting fed up with his indecision, or tired of waiting. This is where he pours on the charm, and says all those things he knows you want to hear. And this, again, is selfish.

How Can I Get Him Back?

Again, the situation won’t change until YOU do something about it. So if you want your ex back? You’ll need to be proactive, rather than reactive, about the whole post-breakup situation.

Your first move is to create a void in his life. You do this by pulling away – as much as it might hurt right now. Only by making your boyfriend miss you can you actually create a need to have you as his girlfriend again. Only when he feels like he might lose you will he begin to evaluate you as a potential girlfriend rather than just ‘his ex’.

You can also use these bonding methods to strengthen past emotional attachments. By doing this, and by using the highlights of your past history together, you can mentally and emotionally bring your boyfriend back to the way things were at the beginning of your relationship. Accomplish this, and he’ll feel the same strong ties and attachments that made him want you as his girlfriend the first time around.

Ultimately, you never want to stay in this position too long. Being the “cool ex girlfriend” he can hang out with (and maybe sleep with) will eventually get you Friend-Zoned. And if you want this guy back as your boyfriend again? That’s absolutely the last thing you want.

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