Category Archives: Contacting an Ex

Find out when it’s okay to contact your ex after a breakup. Also learn exactly what to say – and what not to say – when talking or communicating with your former boyfriend or girlfriend.

Boyfriend Wants Space? Here are 3 Things You MUST DO

“I just want some space…”

Is that what he said? Or maybe he worded it differently. “Maybe we should take some time apart?” Or the dreaded: “I just need time to think?”

boyfriend-wants-space

It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend said it, he always means the same thing: we’re about to break up.

Unless, of course, you know EXACTLY what to do.

Right here, right now, your boyfriend has just checked you into relationship limbo. He’s effectively saying “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

So you begged. You pleaded. You told him you’d “change”. In the end you let him know that you really don’t want time apart, but if he really needs it, you’ll give it to him. Right?

Well, that’s about the worst possible thing you could’ve done.

Understand something: when a guy asks for “space” what he really wants is permission to date other girls. What he’s really saying here is “hey, stick around for a while and don’t go anywhere… but at the same time, I’m free to look for other people.”

If you’re not looking to break up with your boyfriend, and you want to get your relationship back on track? You’re going to need to do three things. Here they are:

Refuse the Whole “Time Apart” Bullshit

Your boyfriend offers a time-out from your relationship, or needs space, or wants time to think… but rather than be the good little girlfriend who’s going to give him exactly that, you’re going to do the opposite. You tell him:

“No, sorry. I don’t do ‘space’. If you want to break up, fine, we’ll break up. But I’m not half-assing it, and I’m not waiting around.”

This is exactly what your guy doesn’t want to hear. The fact that he might lose you during the whole “time off” thing is going to freak him out, mainly because he thinks he can control you during this temporary breakup.

Putting your boyfriend on his back foot is the best way to make him realize you as VALUABLE. He’ll never be forced to really see you that way unless you respect yourself enough not to fall for this crap when he first pulls it.

Pre-Emptively Break Up with Him

At this point, the best thing to do is get pissed. Turn to him and say:

“Know what? If you’re really not sure about this whole thing, then I’m not either. Maybe we should just put an end to it completely, and both move on with our lives.”

This is going to scare your boyfriend right down to his balls. Why? Because he DOESN’T WANT THIS. He wanted a nice cushy little “break” where you kept calling and kept texting and kept telling him you loved him. Instead, you just broke up with him… throwing him for a complete loop.

Walk Away While You Have the Upper Hand

And after you tell him you want a breakup? WALK AWAY. Don’t look back, don’t answer your phone, and don’t respond to his text messages.

Your boyfriend will be left with the feeling that he really messed up. He screwed things big time, and he got exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

Most of all, he now stands to actually LOSE you. The fact that you’re not going to be his girlfriend anymore and he might lose you to someone else is going to create instant value in his eyes. Suddenly you’re a commodity he stands to be without, and he’s not going to want that.

Remember: your boyfriend doesn’t want a breakup. He wants a “temporary break”. This is a cowardly way of trying to keep stringing you along (which is what he wants), and now it just backfired in his face.

Now, if the whole “I need some space” thing already happened, and you missed your chance to do these three things? That’s okay. There’s still a backup plan.

First, look for the 7 signs he still loves you. These are easy-to-spot signals your boyfriend will give off when he’s really not ready to lose you.

Beyond that, there’s this One Opening Move guaranteed to make your ex almost immediately want you back! Make sure you do this one early though, because the longer you wait the harder it will be to pull it off.

In the end, NEVER accept the whole “I need space” excuse. Sitting around and waiting for your boyfriend to get back to you is almost always going to lead to a permanent breakup.

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3 Things to Say (and NOT Say) When Talking to Your EX

Nervous around your ex? Not sure how to talk to them?

talking-to-your-ex

Not knowing what to say – and how to act – around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a very common thing. And if you’re still trying to repair your broken relationship? It’s especially critical that you know EXACTLY what to say (and not say!)

Think about how awkward this is. One minute you’re totally in love and able to say or do anything to each other… and the next minute it’s totally hands off. You go from being lovers to being nothing. You go from being best friends to being nothing more than casual acquaintances.

In some cases you might even be avoiding your ex because you don’t know how to act around them. And this can lead to even more awkwardness. More distance between you.

First, understand that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is just as uncomfortable as you are. Stop putting them up on some pedestal where they’re in total control and you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Do that, and you will be nothing but an emotional wreck, because you’re psyching yourself out before you even get started.

To win back the respect – and ultimately the love – of your ex, you’ll need to do one thing: make yourself desirable again in their eyes. Because at one time? They were head-over-heels ready to date you. And now they’re not.

You do this by maintaining CONTROL. I can’t express this enough: if you give control over to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, then they – and they alone – are the one who’s responsible for whether or not you get back together again.

Be Sure to Hype Yourself Up

When seeing your ex again for the first time, you should seem absolutely excited. No, not excited to see them. Excited for your life in general.

The more fun you seem to be having, the more jealous your boyfriend or girlfriend will be of you. That’s because it’s human nature to want to see you NOT having fun without them.

Making sure you’re totally pumped and doing great and having a kickass time WITHOUT THEM is the perfect way to set your ex on his or her back foot. Right off the bat they’ll feel uncomfortable – especially if they’re the one who initiated the breakup – simply because you seem to be doing so well without them.

Talk About What You’re Doing – But Be Mysterious

Chances are your ex will ask you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, etc… That’s normal. But what your ex is really doing is trying to gauge just how much you really miss them.

Your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you upset, mopey, distraught… so make sure you talk about all the cool things you’ve been up to, even if you have to embellish a bit. Go places and do things that are fun to talk about, so the next time you see or talk to or even text-message with your ex, you can mention these things to make them jealous.

At the same time however, never give them too much information. The more details that are left out, the more that’s left to your ex’s imagination. Remember: you want to create longing and desire again. You need to be cool, fun, hip and mysterious. They should want to know more about you, which will lead them to want you again.

Tell Your Ex it’s Good to See Them Again

Most people avoid their exes like the plague after a breakup. And when they do see them? They avoid eye contact and try not to converse at all.

To win back this person’s admiration and respect, you need to face up to them. Smile. Laugh. Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s good to see them again. And then?

Walk away.

To make someone need you back in their life, you have to create a void where they used to be. By going away – even if it’s by not answering the phone or text-messages – you’re creating a giant gap in this person’s life where they’re used to hearing from you.

Believe it or not, your ex relies on you, even after the breakup. By taking away that safety net, you’re causing them to doubt their decision to break up with you in the first place — especially if you’re smiling and saying “hey, how are you?” when you see them rather than avoid eye contact and slink away.

Three Things NOT to Say to Your Ex

In talking with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, there are 7 common mistakes that will always drive them away. LEARN WHAT THESE ARE! Because if you commit more than two or three of them, you might as well not even try to win them back at all.

That said, there are three things to NEVER do when talking about things with your ex:

• DON’T BE MISERABLE. Your ex won’t feel pity for you. In fact, seeing you miserable is the one thing that will make them realize they did the right thing in breaking up. And that’s because it certainly seems like you need them a lot more than they need you.

• DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BREAK. Nothing says desperation like constantly bringing up the breakup. Whether you’re trying to reverse the breakup or play the blame game, you can’t gain any ground this way.

• DON’T APOLOGIZE. Yes, even if you’re the one who was wrong! Apologizing once again ratifies that your ex is right and you’re wrong. Which makes staying broken up a forgone conclusion!

If you want to learn the complete, step by step process to getting back together, make sure you read it through completely before trying anything. That’s because usually? You only get one good shot at a reconciliation. One good “listen” on your ex’s part.

Everything after that is an uphill climb.

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The REAL Reason He’s Still Texting You After the Breakup

Confused by the fact your ex boyfriend still texts you? Don’t be. This is one of the most common things that can happen after a breakup.

texting-after-breakup

And it’s also very, very telling.

Look at it this way: if your ex is still sending texts beyond the day he broke up with you, chances are good he’s not 100% ready to let you go.

Any guy looking to ditch you forever is never going to do something that might be construed as leading you on.

Why? Because, to be brutally honest, he’s trying to get rid of you.

That’s why texting after a breakup is so important. It tells a lot about how your exboyfriend feels. It can also be a big indication as to whether or not he wants you back.

The first thing to look for are the 7 Signs He’s Still Interested. If you spot more than 3 of these, your relationship might be salvageable purely on the basis that you ex isn’t ready to move on.

It’s All About Control

First and foremost, text-messaging you is one way for your ex boyfriend to maintain control.

Yes, he broke up with you. Yes, you can “technically” do whatever you want. But as long as YOU think there’s still a chance of getting back together (and hell, you still want to get back together), you’re not going to screw that up by going out and dating someone else.

Your ex knows this. That’s why he’ll use text-messages as a method of control. A way of showing you just enough interest to keep stringing you along… but not enough interest that you’re back together as a couple.

It’s All About Spying on You

Texting you is also a way for your ex to keep you from seeing other people. Simple, seemingly-innocent texts such as “hey, what did you do today?” are actually your exboyfriend’s way of spying on you. He’s going to know if you’re out doing something he doesn’t want you to do. He’ll even use guilt texts to keep you from doing stuff, with the vague promise of “maybe one day… someday… we’ll get back together”.

Think about it. Has your ex said stuff like:

“I’ll always love you”

and

“We’re definitely meant to be together… maybe just not right now.”

This is because he’s stringing you along. He wants you to stay away so he can do what he wants (and possibly date other girls), but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to go away entirely.

In short, he wants to keep an eye on you. You know, just in case his next relationship fails… or he gets lovesick about your previous romance and suddenly wants you back.

What Does it Mean When he Drunk Texts You

There are two times when your former boyfriend is at his weakest: late at night when he’s alone, and when he’s drunk.

At night, being lonely, your ex will start reminiscing about the good times you shared together. He might send you a “hey” text message, or something more meaningful (and honest) like “thinking about you”. Either way, he is thinking about you. And if you want him back, that’s a good thing.

Drunk texts are a similar matter. When your ex is inebriated his guard is down. This allows his true feelings to come out; often he’ll suppress his real feelings and/or love for you because he’s trying to be “tough” or keep the breakup going. But when he’s drunk? That wall falls away, and his heart is a lot more exposed.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

If you don’t want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM. Anything you do or say — no matter how innocent — will be construed as interest.

If you actually do want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM! At least not right away. Creating space and unavailability is the first step in creating longing again. And you can’t get him back until he actually longs for an needs you.

Now, there’s also a step-by-step blueprint for Texting Your Ex Back. This is basically a series of text-messages you can send him that will, if you time it right, actually make him want YOU.

Learn about these texts if you’re interested in reversing your breakup. And remember, no matter what: texting after the breakup ALWAYS means something!

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5 Signs Your Breakup Might Only Be Temporary

Breaking up can sometimes seem like the end of the world. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep… you can’t even get out of bed because you miss your ex so much!

5-signs-breakup-might-be-temporary

But then, only a few days or a week later? WHAM! You’re suddenly back together. All of that pain and drama was for nothing, and everything is right with the world again.

So how can you tell when your breakup is real?

Are there signs that your ex is really over you for good?

How can you spot the signals given off when your breakup is only going to be a temporary thing?

Below you’ll find 5 big signs that your ex isn’t truly finished with dating you. Recognizing and exploiting these signals can actually help you get back together sooner, rather than later, and reduce the risk of a permanent breakup.

1. Your Ex Keeps Texting You

Text-messaging shouldn’t just drop off after a breakup, it should end entirely. Because if your boyfriend or girlfriend is truly no longer interested? They’ll realize that texting you would only give you false hope.

Any kind of post-breakup contact is an indication of one or two things: interest or regret. Either your ex is still interested in what you’re doing (who you’re with, whether you’re going to start seeing other people, etc…) or they’re showing some regret for leaving you behind.

This goes no matter what your ex says in the text messages. They can claim the messages are innocent and mean nothing, but should know that they don’t.

2. Your Ex Wants to See You

Breaking up correctly is like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts a lot to do it quickly, but at least the pain is over fast. But an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend who insists on still seeing you, or even better, running into you by ‘accident’? That person is reconsidering the breakup altogether.

Long-term relationships can leave mental, emotional, and even physical connections behind. There is usually a NEED for that person, a void that’s left after they’re gone.

Even if they’re the one who initiated the break, your ex might be addicted to contact with you, in one form or another. Keep in mind that needing to see you is a definite sign that they’re not yet ready to call it quits.

3. Your Ex Wants to be Friends

Does your ex really want you as a friend? No. What they want is to continue part of the relationship; ideally, the part where they get to see what you’re doing and keep tabs on you while the decide whether or not they want you back.

Agreeing to be friends with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will NEVER get them back. In fact, the best thing to do in such a situation is refuse to remain friends at all… then pull out these 3 amazing moves that will make your ex miss you – and need you back – almost immediately.

Friendship is always a bad choice. Stick around as ‘friends’ for too long and your ex will never get to see you as a potential partner again, eliminating any possible chance of reversing your breakup and getting back together. The LAST thing you want is to fall into the Friend Zone. Especially if you’re trying to fix things and win your lover back.

4. Your Ex is Trying to Make You Jealous

When you see your former boyfriend or girlfriend out partying, whooping it up, or even grinding up against someone new for your benefit? It’s because they know you’re going to get jealous and they WANT you to feel that emotion.

Jealousy is your ex’s way of sticking it to you. It’s his or her way of making you want to chase them. Taking you back is one thing. Getting you to come crawling back is quite another. Because if you do that? They can restart the relationship on their terms, which usually means they’re going to abuse your love for them.

5. Your Ex is Suddenly Nice to You Again

One of the biggest signs that a breakup might be a mistake is when your ex boyfriend or girlfriend starts acting the way they did at the beginning. You know what I’m talking about: back to right before you were dating, when the two of you were still trying to woo or impress each other.

Being apart can also offer clarity. You’ll see things differently when you’re apart than when you’re together every day. You’ll start to miss things. Regret things you might’ve said or done. This will lead you to want to be nice to your ex, which in turn, can get your head spinning with the idea of wanting to date them again.

“Wow, I forgot it could be this good. Maybe it could be this good again.” – That sort of thing.

What to Do if You Want Your Ex Back

Getting back together after an unwanted breakup is nothing more than a series of taking the right steps. The only problem? All too often, most people make all the wrong moves.

They do this out of frustration, out of anger, and out of loneliness. Worst of all, they do it without realizing it’s having exactly the opposite effect: it’s driving an ex away rather than drawing them closer.

First, make sure you’re not making any of the 7 Biggest Breakup Mistakes. Commit even a few of these, and you can kiss your relationship goodbye forever.

Second, check out the amazing guide The Magic of Making Up. Author and relationship expert T.W. Jackson gives you a step-by-step, foolproof plan for making an ex need you back in their life again, no matter how long it’s been since the breakup.

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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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Texting Your Ex – 3 Fast Texts That Will Re-Open the Lines of Communication

It’s hard to stay silent after a breakup. Especially when so many connections still linger between you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

Texting Your Ex

Some of those connections will be emotional. No matter how a relationship ends, it always began with fire and passion. The start of every romance is filled with overwhelming amounts of attraction, and in time, strong emotional bonds and feelings are formed that are most times hard to break.

Other connections will be electronic, such as Facebook, Instagram, and especially texting.

In fact, more than 75% of all breakups don’t end at the phone; texting between those people continue, whether they end up getting back together with an ex or not.

If you’re in the situation where you’d like to fix your breakup, you’ll need to know HOW and WHEN to communicate with your ex. Calling at the wrong time, or saying the wrong thing, can often lead to disastrous results. You may have already experienced some of that, and your breakup already got off on the wrong foot.

Texting, just like calling, has its own set of rules and etiquettes. Should you still text with your ex? When is it okay to send a message? Even more important: what should you text to your ex when you want them back?

Below are three very quick ways you can use text-messaging to break the awkward silence after a breakup. Read them carefully first, and before doing anything else, make sure you know every single one of the rules and regulations of post-relationship texting, as these will help prepare you for your former lover’s response.

#1) The ‘I’m on Your Side Now’ Text

Most people who get dumped fight too hard too soon. Yes, you want the relationship back, but what you don’t understand is that right now? Your ex will do everything in his or her power to deflect any points you might make in that regard.

The longer you try to get your ex back, the worse things get. Your former lover will see you as pushing too hard, not taking no for an answer, and looking totally lame (and desperate) in the process.

What your ex doesn’t expect however, is for you to suddenly be on the same page as them. Which is why this first text works so well:

“Hey, I’m totally with you now on the whole breakup thing. We really ARE better off apart. Sorry it took so long for me to get it, but at least I did
before we started hating each other (LOL). Take it easy!”

This is essentially a brush-off. Your ex already rejected you as a partner, and this is your chance to counter-reject them. And now that you’re NOT fighting them tooth and nail to stay together with them? Your ex sees you as more of an equal – and even an ally – rather than someone beneath them trying to claw their way back to their level.

This text might seem pretty final, yet it’s anything but. Consider it the first stepping stone on the road to getting back together again.

Here’s a great video all about this opening move. Be sure to watch the whole thing, because it helps you better visualize what to do next.

#2) The Congratulatory or Happy Birthday Text

The only contact you should be making with your ex right now is welcomed contact. Anything else, and your ex will take it as you grasping desperately to get the relationship back (and you never, ever want to look desperate).

Congratulations is always welcome, especially if it’s something you know your ex has been trying to do for a long time. So if your ex graduated? That’s a great text to send him or her. If your ex got a recent promotion, or bought a new car, or something else happened that’s good in their life? Again, this is a good excuse to send them a very small, very simple:

“Hey, I heard you finally got promoted. Good deal! Hope everything’s great by you.”

This is an ice-breaker, and an innocent one as well. It also works with birthdays. And the longer you dated your boyfriend or girlfriend? The better this techniques works. You already shared big parts of your lives with each other, so it will only seem natural to share a quick congratulations on something that happened afterward.

#3) The ‘Familiarity’ Text Message

With this one, you want to use something you know your ex is familiar with. Preferably something you shared or loved together, while you were still dating.

Did you like a certain movie, and the sequel is coming out? How about music; did you attend a concert together, and that band is coming around again? A television series you always watched, and a new season is coming out?

“Hey, Survivor starts tonight! Had to tell you, in case you forgot to set your DVR!”

This is a conversation-starter. Chances are good your ex will ask what this season of Survivor is about, and who might be on it. If the conversation goes well, you might mention how much you miss watching it together. And if it goes very well, maybe your ex will invite you over – platonically or not – to enjoy it with them.

Basically, you need to pick something that was ‘yours’ together. Something cool and fun that will spark nothing but good memories of old times between you. Your goal is to put yourself back in your ex’s head, without really doing anything obvious. This right here is a great way to do it.

There are many other ways to get your ex’s attention again, even without the use of text messages. But again, you need to know when to do it… how to do it… before even thinking about making that first, tentative contact.

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4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Called

It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Hasn't Called

They don’t call. They don’t text.

Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.

Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.

So why won’t your ex call or text you?

What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?

The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.

And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.

So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.

You’re Still Resisting the Breakup

A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.

So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.

Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.

No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.

Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.

You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex

Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.

The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.

Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.

You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity

We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).

All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.

Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?

And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.

Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.

This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.

Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On

Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.

This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”

The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).

When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.

Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:

CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend

CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend

And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.

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6 Huge Mistakes Everyone Makes Right After a Breakup

If you’re trying to reverse or fix your breakup, the most crucial time is the beginning. This is when most people – guys and girls – make the biggest and most devastating of mistakes while trying to “fight for the relationship”.

Anthony Malibu - Breakup Mistakes

These mistakes can sabotage your future. They often destroy any chance of getting back together, depending on which of them you make and how badly you botch them.

For this reason, you need to make sure you know what you’re doing. Acting out just for the sake of ‘doing something’ might be tempting, especially because it’s hard to sit still, but you need to realize that immediately after a breakup? Doing the wrong thing is ten times worse than doing nothing at all.

Below is a list of 6 big mistakes people make immediately after getting dumped. Some are bad, others are worse, but ALL of them are avoidable if you’re willing to exercise a little self-control.

And if you’ve already made some of these errors? Well, things might be bad but they can always improve. Halting these behaviors and actually turning your ex around can have a positive effect on how your former boyfriend or girlfriend sees you. And this, in turn, can lead to a reconciliation… if you play your cards right.

Resisting the Breakup

This is the first mistake people make, and it starts off a long, slippery slope of losing control. Fighting “for” the relationship, as if you could actually change your ex’s mind right now, is only going to push your boyfriend or girlfriend even further away.

Every breakup has the same goal: you need to show your ex that he or she was wrong. That breaking up isn’t really what they want, and that it’s better to be with you.

So when you fight and rage (and cry and scream) against the breakup? You’re essentially showing your ex that they were right. All of a sudden you look desperate, which in turn makes your ex say “Wow… this person needs me a LOT more than I need them. How come I never saw this before?”

From there, your ex’s mind is made up. Leaving you was the right move, for obvious reasons. I mean, just look at you, still in denial. Surely they could do better?

Sulking, Pouting, or Getting Angry

There are many emotional stages of a breakup, and they line up pretty well with the well-known stages of grief. But to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? These behaviors can make or break how they look at you as a person – and a potential partner – later on.

Your first instinct will be to grieve. You’ll sulk and get all depressed about the loss. You’ll also think that your ex will actually care for your feelings… almost like you can guilt them into coming back because you look so forlorn and glum. Reality however, is different. Because the more you pout, the more depressed you seem? The more LAME your boyfriend or girlfriend will consider your actions.

Anger is another bad move. Some people, especially guys, will get angry and lash out after being dumped. This is where you’ll say things you don’t mean; things you can’t take back later on. If you want to someday date this person again, you’ll need to avoid being angry about the breakup.

Being Needy and Desperate Toward Your Ex

Did you beg your ex to reconsider? Plead with them not to let go of “a good thing”?

Did you promise to change? Demand to know why this person broke up with you? (Hint: they’ll never fully tell you the exact reason, unless you’re willing to make this opening move)

Afterwards, did you stalk your ex on Facebook? Constantly check their Instagram? Did you send tons of text-messages to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, but only got a few (if any) of them answered?

If you did any of the above things, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot. Already you’ve come off as needy and desperate. This is a HUGE turnoff as far as your ex is concerned. The confident, fun, secure person they fell in love with is now this clingy, whiny, crying mess.

NO ONE wants to date someone like that. So the longer you do this stuff? The further you get from making your ex want you back (and the creepier it is overall).

Making Unwanted Contact

Nothing will shove your ex in the opposite direction more than unwanted contact. And yes, this means ALL manner of communication you can have with your ex, no matter how ‘innocent’ or purely platonic/friendly you think that contact might be.

Look at it this way – to get your ex back, they first need to MISS you. And they can’t possibly miss you if you’re calling, texting, emailing, Facebooking, Instagramming, and basically stalking them day and night. Even worse, the more you do these things? The more your ex gets annoyed with you. Turned off by you.

The more you do these things, the less VALUE you have in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s eyes.

What you need to do is contact your ex at the RIGHT time. It has to happen at a natural point in the breakup, where contact will be welcome and they’ll actually be happy to hear from you again.

Learn lots more about how and when to contact your ex here.

Not Using Nostalgia Tactics to Get Your Ex Back

The good news about breaking up is that you have a distinct advantage when it comes to winning your partner back. And that’s because you share a pretty important, very well-remembered past history together.

The past is something that always changes. As time goes on, your ex will tend to forget the bad things (i.e. the fighting, arguing, jealousy, etc…) and remember only the good ones. Those first awesome memories – the ones you yourself cherish? Those are the same memories your ex also enjoys going back to time and time again.

These memories can help your ex change his or her mind about losing you for good, if you’re willing to use these reconnection techniques during your reconciliation process. Read up on them carefully, because for best results they MUST be used correctly and at exactly the right time.

In total there are actually 12 deadly mistakes you can make after breaking up. And some of them are instant relationship-killers, so be especially wary of those.

Learn what the other six errors are, and be sure you’re not committing any of them before going on.

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Why Does My Ex Still Text Me?

In the old days, a breakup was a breakup. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and you’d go on with your life.

Anthony Malibu - Why Does my Ex Text Me

But in today’s digital age? There are still DOZENS of connections between you and your ex, even after the relationship ends. Photo albums, Facebook posts, Instagram messages, emails… and of course, the hundreds or even thousands of text messages you shared during the time when the two of you were dating.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Why would he or she be keeping up text-message contact, even though you’re no longer together?

Sometimes the answer is simple; your ex is still thinking about you. You’ve left their life, maybe for good, but you still haven’t left their train of thought.

Imagine how many times you texted your boyfriend or girlfriend over the course of your romance with them. Every morning, every night… all through the day. So even now, their daily routine of talking to you is pretty standard. It’s still keeping you ‘together’, at least on a text-based level.

Other times, the answer is a bit more complicated. That’s because there are always residual feelings and emotions to deal with any time two people break up.

These are the deep-seeded ties that bound you while you were in love with each other. The ones that were so powerful in the beginning. The ones that made it so that you couldn’t keep away from each other, and wanted to spend every minute of every day together, no matter what.

And these powerful connections? They stick around for a while. They just don’t go instantly away because someone said three simple works: “let’s break up”.

An ex will text you for a number of reasons. All of them are generally signs of interest. So if you’re looking to patch things up, or try and get back together again? The fact that your ex is staying on touch with you, even on your tiny little 4-inch cellphone screen? Yeah, it’s still a pretty good thing.

The 8 Big Reasons You’ll Receive Texts From Your Ex

Below you’ll find a list of reasons why your ex is still texting you. Some mean little in the grand scheme of things, but others are a lot more telling when it comes to how your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend truly feels about you.

Your Ex Misses You… Big Time

Let’s face it, when dating someone you get used to spending an awful lot of time together. You see each other, open up about your lives, and tell each other all about daily events. It’s something you’re accustomed to, and so is your ex.

This is why you might still get the occasional message, even after being apart. Your ex is simply thinking about you. He or she misses the contact, and is reaching out for something as simple as someone to talk to, or to bounce ideas off of, like in the old days.

He or She is Used to Contacting You Every Day

Texting back and forth all day, every day, is something you’ve both taken for granted during your relationship. So if you’ve been doing it for months, even years? It’s something you – as well as your ex – might still be tempted to do.

A lot of times people think this type of text-messaging is innocent: “Oh, I like to talk to him/her, but I don’t want to get back together or anything…”

In reality? ALL texting means something. There’s no “innocent” contact when it comes to your ex, unless you’re making that one final phone call to get your stuff back. An ex who is still hammering out a bunch of small-talk on your cellphone all day is an ex who isn’t yet ready to lose you completely.

Your Ex Wants to Be Friends After the Breakup

This reason is always a hidden agenda. Believe me when I say there’s no such thing as 100% strictly platonic friends “with an ex”. That doesn’t happen, not even in movies.

Once you’re intimate with someone, that’s IT. The dynamic between you is forever changed. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge.

Yet some people will continue deluding themselves that somehow, some way, they can be ‘friends’ with someone they dated. As if one person doesn’t still love the other person just a little bit more… tilting the scales so that the balance of power always denotes a breakup “winner” and a breakup “loser”.

If your ex wants to be friends it’s because he or she WANTS something. Most of the time, it’s information. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you in their life as a security blanket; something to hold onto in case being single doesn’t work out for them. Your “friendship” is a tool. A way for your ex to have his/her cake and eat it too.

Your Ex is Checking Up on You Through Your Phone

Other times, an ex will just want to see where you are. It’s comforting to know that you haven’t moved on, haven’t started dating, and didn’t meet anyone else since the two of you went your separate ways.

Why is this? Does your ex hate you? Do they want to see you fail? Well, no and yes. No, they don’t hate you. But yes, it’s human nature to want to see you worse off than when you were with them.

In short, your ex wants to be right. They would like to believe that breaking up with you was the right move, so they use text-messages to “keep in touch” under the guise of innocent contact. Which, of course, it’s not.

He or She Drunk Texted You

Drunk-calling has now been replaced by drunk texting. This is when it’s late at night, your ex has been drinking, and his or her thoughts inevitably turn toward you.

This is a HUGE SIGN OF INTEREST! Being drunk, your defenses are always down. That’s when your true feelings rise to the surface, unhindered by any inhibitions or walls you may have been putting up.

This means your ex secretly thinks about you a lot more than you think. The alcohol acts as a catalyst for contact; rather than refrain from calling or texting you while they were sober, your drunk exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is free to do whatever they want… and blame it on the alcohol later on.

Your Ex is Nostalgic About Your Past History Together

Know why people get back together? Because the beginning of every relationship is AMAZING.

Think about that. Go back to those first few weeks (a.k.a. the ‘honeymoon phase’) of your relationship and tell me it wasn’t the best thing in the whole world. Tell me the feelings weren’t explosively powerful. Tell me the sex wasn’t Rock Star levels of Godliness.

When your ex is lonely, he or she will think back to those early times. The good times, before all the bullshit. Before all the fighting and arguing and stupid jealousy that probably broke you up.

Fixing a breakup is all about bringing these feelings back again. There are some really great methods and techniques for making your ex remember how much they really love being with you, if you’re willing to sit down and learn them.

Your Ex Wants to Hook Up, Meet Up, Have Sex, Etc…

This one is the Booty Call. The unapologetic “hey, let’s hang out” text that ends up in bed with the two of you rolling around naked. And hey, that’s okay. Sex is actually a big part of getting back together.

Take this text for what it is; your ex is still physically attracted to you. Whether or not that leads to a more emotional and permanent connection is still up in the air, but at least you’re moving in the right direction.

Your Ex is Feeling You Out on the Subject of Getting Back Together

In the final stages of a breakup, right before you get back together again, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend will try and gauge your feelings. They’d like to know that if they suggested giving your romance another chance, they’re not going to be rejected or shot down.

That’s where this text comes in. Your partner will usually be more overt about his or her intentions here, asking factual questions about where you are, how you’ve been doing (emotionally), and whether or not you’re dating someone else. You’ll also get “do you miss me?” and “do you remember when we used to XYZ?” a lot, which is his or her way of trying to remind you of how good you were together.

A former lover who gets nostalgic or reminiscent about the past is a lover who wants to create future times with you. So yeah, your ex is probably about to ask you out again. Roll with it, if that’s what you want, and encourage such contact. Then see where it goes.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

In the end, there are lots of signs and signals your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will give off when they’re showing interest in you again. Spotting these signs, and then knowing what to do about them? Well, that’s the tricky part.

Why does me ex text me? Truth is, it’s an extension of your past relationship. Breakups HURT. Messaging back and forth can alleviate that pain, even if just for a little while.

All said, timing is everything when it comes to reconciling. You need to make the right moves, at the right times, while avoiding all of the wrong ones.

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3 Important Texts You Can Send to Your Ex

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear: texting your ex during the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup is almost always a bad idea. There are some very big reasons you need to leave your ex alone during this stage, so if you haven’t read them already, check them out by going here.

Messages to Send Your Ex

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

The most desired of all communication, when you’re trying to get back together, is any form of contact initiated by your ex. The fact that your former boyfriend or girlfriend is calling or texting you, rather than the other way around, shows a lot more in the way of serious interest.

There are ways of getting your ex to call or text you. Some are fairly obvious. Others are a lot more subtle.

All of them however, can put you back in the driver’s seat. You take back a lot of that missing power and control when your ex is forced to make that extremely coveted first move.

Yet before even that can happen, you’ll need to use these emotional bonding techniques to make your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend MISS you first. When your ex misses you, ANY contact you make with them will be a positive, welcomed connection. This makes your overall chances of getting back together a lot more successful in the end.

Sometimes though, you have to make the first move. There are times when it’s necessary to reach out to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to get things moving in the right direction.

If this is where you’re at, you can often break the ice with a simple text-message. Here are three examples of texts you can send to your ex when you’re looking to reconnect:

The ‘I Agree With the Breakup Text’

If you’ve been fighting the breakup or trying just about everything to get your ex to go back out with you, this is a good one to start with. Essentially you’re coming off as no longer interested in dating this person, but would rather carry on a platonic friendship with them.

You’re going to give them a text they can’t possibly argue with. Something like:

“Hey, what’s up? Listen, you were right about us being better off apart. Sorry it took me a while to get it! Anyway, we were good friends before we started dating, and it would suck to lose that friendship just because we can’t be together. Let me know if you want to get lunch or something, so we can catch up!”

This is a non-threatening, non-confrontational way of accepting the situation for what it is; you’re no longer together, but at the same time you’re looking to save whatever pre-dating relationship (i.e. friendship) you used to have.

This isn’t saying you’re going to be best buddies with your ex – that’s never a good idea. But you’ll make them think you want to be friends in order to jockey for better position when you DO make the bigger moves (step 5 and step 6) later on down the line.

The ‘Nostalgia Trigger’ Text Message

Think back to your past relationship. Where did you go? What did you do? Try to envision which special places or times or even sports teams you shared with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and pick one that’s really GOOD.

You need to grab hold of one he or she will remember. One your ex will associate with you. For example, let’s say you went to the NY Jets games a few times together, and always had an awesome time. At that point you can send a text like:

“Hey, did you see that one-handed catch the other night? That happened
RIGHT where we were sitting last January!”

You can substitute anything here, as long as it’s relevant.

“Holy shit, did you notice [NAME OF A RESTAURANT] burned/closed down the other day? I was just thinking of all the times we went there together!”

“Did you see Terminator 8 yet? It was insane! What was the name of that theater
where we went to see Terminator 7?”

Basically, that sort of thing. You pick something you know was fun or important for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and hopefully something relevant to you relationship. A holiday or event you went to. A favorite band that happens to be back in town again. Then you make an innocent comment on it, in the form of a text message, and follow the reply up with something like “By the way, how’ve you been? Things cool with you?”

The ‘Congratulatory’ or ‘Checking up on Someone’ Text

This is really two different texts, but with the same basic flavor. For this one, you need to pick an event that happened recently in your ex’s life. Maybe they graduated. Maybe they got a new job. Choose something positive, and then text them with:

“Hey, congrats! I heard you were accepted to Cornell! That’s totally awesome!”

You can also use this method to check up on an existing situation in your ex’s family or circle of friends. For this one, you’ll need to have dated them a little longer, so you have a much better clue as to what’s going on in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s social life.

“Just wanted to know how everything worked out for your mom. Is she out
of the hospital yet? Tell her I hope she feels better.”

Again, you want to deliver the message in such a way that you’re almost making small talk. Only it’s not a pointless “Sup?” text, which is the lamest possible thing you can send. You’d be surprised how many people think they can start up a new conversation with something as simple as that, and still expect a positive result.

What to Do if You’re Stuck on How to Make Contact

Sometimes it seems things go awkwardly no matter how you communicate with your ex. You might feel like you’re bothering them, or that they’re really not that interested in hearing from you at all.

When this is the case, you need to up your game. You need to put some new weapons in your arsenal, rather than fight with the same old dull ones you keep trying to no avail.

Text Your Ex Back System

Text Your Ex Back contains some ground-breaking, next-level stuff.

It’s a complete step-by-step SYSTEM showing you how to break the ice, make contact, and continue to communicate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend on only the most positive levels.

Learn what to do… what to say… and exactly WHEN you should be saying it. The system teaches you how to trigger deep-seeded emotional attachments already within your ex’s mind and heart, and then use those attachments to re-generate his or her original feelings for you again.

If you’re looking for the ultimate guide on what to say after a breakup, look no further. Check out the many sharp tools within Text Your Ex Back, and get started right away on the one and only CORRECT path to reconciliation.

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