Category Archives: Get Girlfriend

The ONE Thing You Must Do When She Just Wants to Be Friends

For every guy in a relationship there are three in the FRIEND ZONE. Three lost souls stuck in a hopeless limbo, unable to escape to that one magical place they never stop fantasizing about: the position of actually being the boyfriend.

For some people, the Friend Zone can come after a relationship. You’re dating some girl, things are going great (or so you think), and all of a sudden she hits you with those horrible, dreaded words:

Anthony Malibu - Let's Just Be Friends

“I think we’d be better off as friends

Your heart sinks. Your mouth tastes like you just swallowed a bottle of glue.

FRIENDS? REALLY?

So how’d it happen? Could it be that all of a sudden she doesn’t ‘like’ you like that?

Were you boring? Were you lame? Was the sex not good? Exactly how the hell did you manage to get demoted from boyfriend status to someone who’s now “just a friend”?

The Two Main Reasons a Girl Will Friend-Zone You

Truth be told, there are only two big reasons a girl will pick you up and hurl you into the Friend Zone. The first one is obvious: she’s into someone else. There’s some other guy she’d like to date, or potentially like to try to date, and in order to do that she needs to be free of you.

“Friending” you could easily be a way for her to let you down easy. However, it could also be a way of keeping you ‘around’. It’s always nice to know someone still likes you, wants you, and would come back to you at any time. This gives her freedom. Choices. She can try to do something (or someone) better than you, and if it doesn’t work out? Well, there you are. That happy little “friend” she kept on the back burner for that rainy day.

The other reason a girl you’re dating will suddenly want friendship over a relationship is because you’re not being assertive as her boyfriend. In this case she’s friending you because you’re acting like a friend. You’re too passive, too wishy-washy. You’re acting less like her man and more like her ‘buddy’.

Check out this list and see if any of these things sound familiar:

  • You’re doting on her. Constantly. To the point of being annoying.
  • You tell your girlfriend how much you love her WAYYYY more than she tells you.
  • You’ve put her up on a pedestal. To the point where you’re worshipping her as a princess rather than dating her as an equal.
  • You say you’re “sorry” all of the time. Which is weak. Very weak.
  • You buy her stuff consistently, almost to where it feels like (on her end) a payment plan for going out with you.
  • You don’t take the lead. You’re always asking her what “she wants to do”, rather than planning things yourself and actually taking her out.
  • Your dates aren’t very romantic. You take her mundane places and/or hang out with groups of people rather than wine and dine her alone.
  • You’re never assertive. You never grab her and kiss her, or initiate getting physical. Rather you wait for her to do these things, thinking it’s ‘gentlemanly’ to do so.

All of these activities will get you Spartan-kicked into the Friend Zone. FAST. Girls won’t hang with guys like this, and certainly won’t stay with them. They don’t make them feel safe and protected. They don’t make them feel desired in the ways a woman wants a man to desire them. And that’s because your actions are more friendly than romantic.

If you’ve never dated this girl before, here are 3 big ways you can instantly escape the Friend Zone. And hey, you’re welcome.

But if you’re already in a relationship, and your girlfriend suddenly thinks you’d be “better off as friends”? Immediate and decisive action is necessary.

The only way to keep her is to turn her around. Change how she sees you, or how she thinks she sees you. So stop her mid-sentence. Grab her, kiss her, and tell her:

“I don’t want a friend. I want YOU. We’re good together, and there’s no planet in the universe where I can see us being ‘just friends’ with each other.”

It’s firm. It’s assertive. It’s a strong counter to what she’s trying to do. And if she persists? Tell her:

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you as my girlfriend. You’re awesome. Too awesome to just be my friend. So either we date or we don’t date, and both options are cool with me. But I’m flat out telling you, there’s no middle ground.”

In most cases, your girlfriend won’t be ready for this. She’s looking to “try” the breakup out, almost like a gift she can return if she’s not happy with it. Instead, you’re giving her a no refunds policy. You’re telling her (not asking her) in no uncertain terms what’s going to happen next. In short, you’re taking the reins.

From there, you have your work cut out for you. Start being the guy she WANTS and not the all-too accommodating, girlfriend-worshipping pushover you have been. Step up your game. Take her places that give her no doubt in her mind that you are her boyfriend and nothing else.

Check out this list of traits women find attractive in men. As you start to exhibit them, you’ll find yourself much more successful – both in life, your job, and also with women – than you’ve ever been before.

And if you’re already ‘on a break’ or you’ve already agreed to be friends with your girlfriend? Check out this complete 6-step process on How to Win Her Back.

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My Ex Still Answers My Texts – What Does it Mean?

One of the more confusing aspects of breaking up is an ex who keeps in touch with you afterward. Especially when that person acts as if it’s perfectly normal to stay in touch, keep up past levels of communication, or even ‘stay friends’ afterward.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Still Texting You

For your ex, this is a comfortable situation. He or she still gets the security of still talking to you, which is an advantage when it comes to letting go. It always hurts less to let someone go over a longer period of time rather than just cut ties all at once, which is why most people will keep up some level of contact even after breaking up.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Are they just looking out for you? Trying to be friendly?

Or is there some other underlying reason for them to keep texting you after breaking things off?

Well first, a lot can be said by the way the two of you broke up. In the case where the breakup was mutual (or at least you agreed that it was), texting each other might be an extension of habit. You’ve been talking all through your relationship, and since you parted ways with no really bad feelings, staying in contact seems fairly natural.

In other cases though, when an ex is still texting you? It’s probably because he or she has some unfinished business.

How to Use Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re the one who got dumped, obviously you’d like to fix the situation. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might prompt you to continue texting with them purely for your own interests. You want to keep talking with them. You don’t want them to lose interest. You love them, and would hate to lose them, so you’re willing to hang on to any last scrap of the former relationship no matter how big or small.

In truth however, constantly texting with your ex is counterproductive to getting them back. Because you can’t fix your breakup until:

  • Your ex misses you.
  • Your ex needs you.
  • Your ex sees you as attractive again.

Those three things. That’s it. That’s all it takes to get back together again.

Now getting your ex to miss you, right off the bat, is a huge problem if you’re still carrying on a textual relationship. By not taking yourself out of his or her life, you’re not creating a hole where you used to be. You’re still there. You’re only a few buttons away at any given time, and that knowledge gives your ex the security to continue being without you. Because in many ways, they still have you.

If your ex doesn’t miss you, they’ll never need you back. If you never go away, they never have to experience a life without you in it. So right away you’ve got two strikes going for you.

Finally, your ex broke up with you for a reason. Maybe even a few reasons. But whatever those were, they added up to the same thing: the romance lost something along the way. Whatever attracted your boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place wore off, and this was a combination of physical looks, emotional attachments, and personality traits that made them interested in you.

When you keep texting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll see it as needy. They’ll see it as a sign that you need them more than they need you. Especially if you’re answering the texts very quickly, or flirting with your responses.

Think of it this way; we all want someone desirable. Someone who’s cool and attractive to the point where they’re almost unattainable. Capturing that person’s interest is a huge part of the courtship process. Getting them to like and appreciate you is your ultimate goal.

So when you’re already doing these things? When your ex already has your undivided attention? There’s no chase. You’ve eliminated the courtship process and gone straight to “hey, here I am, take me when you want me”, and at the same time, you’ve given your ex no particular reason to still want you back. Nothing has really changed. Even the texts have been the same.

To win your ex back, you need to break this cycle. You need to withdraw, shake things up, and let your ex know he or she stands to really lose you – and for good too – if they don’t immediately start chasing you again.

Your first step? Taking Away your Ex’s Safety Net. Because once you do this, the breakup roles are entirely reversed. The power your ex took when they broke things off shifts back to you, and you can then use that power to make them want you again.

You also learn tons more about texing your ex (and how you can use text-messages to lure them back), by watching this video. It’s a great tool for those trying to re-attract an ex boyfriend or girlfriend strictly using text messages.

But for now, stop texting your ex. Don’t answer for a while and see what happens. Some of the best advice you can get involves turning your phone off, putting it in a drawer, and going out and having a great time WITHOUT your ex (and without your cellphone). Your LIFE is the thing that makes you attractive to someone. Not your text-messages.

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3 Simple Tricks That Will Make Your ExGirlfriend Come Running Back

When it comes to fixing a breakup, a lot of guys think they know what they’re doing. They see the problem as a matter of cause and effect: first you find out what the problem is, and then you come up with a solution.

Anthony Malibu - Get Her Back

Ah, if only girls were really that easy.

In truth, a girl will not always list the REAL problems she has with you. By the time she’s fed up enough to break things off, she might just want you to go away.

If this is the case, she’ll do anything just to shove you aside. She’ll bruise your ego. Tell you things that aren’t necessarily true. She might even take all the blame on herself, giving you the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Even when you know the problem is most likely YOU.

So how do you fix a breakup like this? When your girlfriend is being stingy with the information, and stubborn to the point of ignoring you completely?

Well, that’s when it’s time to take back CONTROL.

Acting from a position of weakness will always fail. This is exactly what happens to most people; they fail to get back together because they couldn’t stop doing “stuff”. What stuff? Well, it didn’t matter. They felt their ex slipping away, so they started doing anything and everything to get them back.

The problem with that outlook is that it ends up destroying your chances. You’re acting irrationally, and without any strength. Your ex isn’t receptive to hearing from you, so anything you do only pisses her off. And as you do more and more of it? She begins to ignore your every move. You’ve become nothing but a nuisance to her.

He Who Controls the Breakup Controls What Happens Next

Read that headline again. Whether or not you fix things and get back with your ex is determined by ONE person, not the both of you. And in every case, it’s determined by the person who has the control.

When your girl broke up with you, she seized all the control. It’s up to you to wrest it back from her, and to do that, you need to be very indifferent as to whether you get back together or not. You have to be smooth. You have to be particular. You have to demonstrate only the best and most attractive qualities, while suppressing the qualities that always drive women away.

1)   Control Yourself

To win back the interest of anyone who dumped you, you need to be on your best behavior. So eliminate anything and everything that might make you feel negative, or sad, or sulking.

Neediness is disgustingly unmanly. Clinginess is a death-sentence. Acting bitter or pissed about the relationship ending will make you seem like the world’s biggest sore loser, and will only make your girlfriend feel more secure that her decision was the right one.

Eliminate ALL of these behaviors. No matter how you feel on the inside, on the outside you have to be stone cold. And believe it or not? By not acting this way you’re going to find yourself in a much better mood. A much more positive frame of mind, from which it becomes a lot easier to re-attract your ex.

2)   Control How Your Ex Girlfriend Sees You

You have full control over how your ex sees you, so take advantage of that fact. When she looks back to see how you’re doing, you must be doing absolutely awesome.

This means you need to be happy. Excited. Exciting. You should be active and energetic and full of charisma. Instead of being alone and lonely, you should be surrounded by friends. Your social calendar should keep you so busy it’s hard to find time for anything negative in your life, and this is exactly the sort of thing that will make your girl wonder why she dumped you in the first place.

3)   Control How Much Contact You Have With Your Ex

As you already should no, there’s a No Contact Phase to every breakup. This is when you shouldn’t be talking to or texting your ex, no matter how hard that might seem, and no matter whether or not you told her you’d still “remain friends” with her.

YOU are the only person who has control over whether you reach out to your ex or not. And if she calls or contacts you? Well, that’s even better because the control then shifts to you. Each phone call, each text message your girlfriend sends after dumping you – no matter what the subject or what it’s about – erodes away just a little more of her own power. And it gives that power back to you.

So when your girl calls? Ignore it for a day before calling her back. When she texts you? Wait several hours before responding. Remember: CONTROL. You’re keeping up the appearance that you don’t need her, or desire to hear from her, even though inwardly you’re working to get her back.

There are 6 Individual Steps to getting your girlfriend back, so learn every single one of them. Every breakup has a reconciliation window, but no window stays open forever.

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Take the Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Quiz

Does he still love you? Sometimes it’s not easy to tell. Guys can send very mixed feelings your way after a breakup, and their intentions are never 100% clear.

To understand whether or not you’ve still got a shot, you need to know how your ex really feels. You have to dig deep, to where unresolved emotional bonds are still tying him to you in one way or another. And more often than not, this is not something your ex is going to be open about, or disclose willingly.

Get Your Ex Back Quiz

The following Quiz can tell you a whole bunch of stuff about your ex boyfriend. Answering honestly, you’ll learn:

  • What it means when he’s still calling you, and how you can get your ex to call.
  • How much you should read into it when your boyfriend keeps ‘running into’ you.
  • What the type of contact your ex makes says about his future intentions.
  • How the way he broke up with you can affect whether or not he still sees the two of you together.
  • How any communication he has with your family and friends can be a big sign he’s ready to take you back.
  • Why the excuses he gives for calling you can hint at the possibility of an apology or reconciliation.
  • The true reason(s) he may have broken up with you (which are not always what he originally told you).
  • Why your ex bringing up the past can be a big tell when it comes to getting back together.
  • Exactly what it means when you have intimacy after the breakup (sex with your ex).

These are only a few of the areas covered by this 18-question quiz. At the end the quiz is fully scored, and points tallied to give a total. The higher your score, the greater the chance your boyfriend still wants you back. From there recommendations are made, based upon how you scored and which questions received stronger answers.

The entire Get Your Ex Back Quiz can be found here. Check it out, and see how high a score you get.

Connecting With Your Ex Boyfriend After the Breakup

In some cases you’ll want to walk away from a bad relationship. But in others? You’ll feel like the whole thing is unfinished. As if you really could be good together, if only the two of you could get past a few hurdles.

Knowing what those hurdles are is usually difficult. Many relationships end with a bunch of fighting or bad feelings, and others just end with two people shutting up and walking away. Getting back in touch after that can be difficult. Contacting your ex is like putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for rejection, if the type of contact you make with him is unwanted.

If your ex hasn’t called or contacted you at all, calling him isn’t the answer. Not now, while he still hasn’t had time to miss you. But then many times, an ex boyfriend will want to stay in touch with you after breaking things off. He’ll send text messages, or even encourage you to do the same. He might even suggest staying friends with him, but if you want him back? This type of arrangement will only lessen your chances at ever being his girlfriend again… and for a good many reasons.

Remember: you can’t force someone to be with you. You can only make them see what they’ll be missing, and to do that, you need to go away for a while. In cutting yourself entirely from your boyfriend’s life you can play upon the existing emotional bonds he’s currently trying to bury. And if those bonds are strong enough? He’ll miss you enough that he’ll need you back, or at least need to start hearing from you again… and this is when he’ll make that call.

Learn the best methods to accelerate your ex missing you, and use them to speed up the process of fixing your breakup. These work more efficiently when you employ them closest to your breakup date, so don’t wait forever.

And in the meantime? Take the quiz to see exactly where you stand on the path to getting back together.

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3 Surefire Ways to Escape the FRIEND ZONE

The Friend Zone… we’ve all been there. We’ve all dreaded it, and we’ve all tried to escape.

Fact is, very few guys have escaped. Most of them get stuck there forever, drifting further and further away from ever dating this girl who considers them nothing more than a ‘friend’.

Friend Zone

Others botch the situation to the point where it’s almost painful. They do everything for these girls. They take them places, they buy them expensive things. They do more for them than even their boyfriends do, and yet these girls still see them as nothing more than “just a friend”.

If you’re in the Friend Zone right now, it’s time to get out. It’s time to sack up and actually do something. You want to date this girl? DO IT. Don’t deliver some lame excuse such as being “afraid of losing the friendship” when in actuality you want her as a girlfriend more than anything else in the world.

The following three methods will get you out of the Friend Zone. Read them, study them, and then pick the one that’s right for you. But first? Read these 8 Things All Women Are Attracted To and make sure you’re exhibiting at least six or more of these qualities.

Okay, now let’s break out of the Friend Zone once and for all:

Ask Her Out. On a DATE. Yes. An Actual DATE.

Most guys stuck as “just a friend” don’t realize they’re the ones keeping themselves from succeeding. Because to break out of the Friend Zone? You actually have to take that giant leap forward and ask this girl out.

No, ‘going out’ with her places doesn’t count. All those movies, dinners, long drives or walks together… none of that means Jack Squat. You did those things as her FRIEND. You were stuck in a place where none of that stuff earned you any potential boyfriend credit.

Here’s what you do. Next time you’re with this girl, and the weekend is coming up, you tell her:

“Hey. I’m taking you out this Saturday. ON A DATE. Yes, a DATE date.
And no, you can’t say no. The only thing you can tell me right now is
what time I’m picking you up.”

At this point your ‘friend’ will act dismayed. Is she really? Hell no. Because 100% of the girls who say stuff like “I can’t believe he asked me out! I had no idea he really liked me as more than a friend!” are flat out lying about it.

GIRLS KNOW. They ALWAYS know. There’s not a girl on this planet who can’t tell whether you’re into her or not, especially after having spent so much time with you. So as she acts all taken aback and pretends to pick her jaw up off the floor? You tell her:

“Please, spare it. You KNOW I like you. And you know what? You like me too.
We’ve hung out enough and gotten along so well it’s way past time we
at LEAST gave something like this a shot.”

And there it is. Your cards are out on the table. Rather than pretending to be this girl’s good buddy for the next several years, you’ve flat out admitted that you like her.

The trick here is to do this CONFIDENTLY. If you do it in a sheepish way, she’s gonna balk. If you do it weakly, or if you ask her lamely “do you like me the way I like you?” you come across as a total pushover wuss. Which is certainly not attractive, when it comes to being her possible BOYFRIEND.

Asking a girl out that you’ve known for a long time is flattering. She’s going to appreciate that. Doing it like this makes her rethink your friendship. She’s already classified you as “just a friend”, and now suddenly you’re going to be re-classified… hopefully into a potential boyfriend.

Withdraw the Friendship – Disappear From Her Life and Let Her See That She Needs You

This method stands on its own. But it can also be particularly successful if you’ve already tried method #1 and she failed to go out with you.

Here, you’re going to capitalize on the fact that this girl relies on you. She’s leaned on you for friendship (and companionship and advice) for so long, she’s developed a sort of dependency. And the best thing to do in that case? Is to take yourself away.

Stop responding to her. Don’t answer her calls, don’t reply to her text messages. When your friend finally gets back in touch with you and asks what’s up? Tell her “Listen, let’s meet up, we have to talk.”

Eventually, sit her down face to face (don’t do it over text or something stupid like that) and tell her:

“Look. I LIKE you. As a friend, sure, but also as much more than a friend.
You’d have to be crazy not to see it by now.”

She’ll get quiet. Most girls do. Or maybe she’ll even say something, but whatever it is you continue with:

“I can’t be ‘just friends’ with you anymore. It’s too hard. You’re too fucking awesome and we get along too ridiculously well for us not to at least TRY to date each other.
We would be stupid not to.”

Your goal here is to convince her to give things a shot. To reconsider and reclassify you based on how well you’ve gotten along as friends. If she’s dated a bunch of jerks, mention that. If she’s never happy with the guys she picks, point it out. Then point out how you’ve gotten along so well for so long, and how dumb it would be not to try and take things to the next level.

If she doesn’t agree to go out with you, she’ll probably counter with “I don’t want to risk our friendship.” And here’s where you have to get hard. It’s a tough thing to do, but here’s where you tell her:

“Well that’s the thing – I can’t be friends with you anymore. I feel too close to you. It’s not friendship for me anymore, and if I told you it was I’d only be pretending.”

After that, walk away. Wish her well. Don’t cry or pout or act all bitter about it – do it as if it’s the most matter-of-fact thing in the world. By ripping the Band-Aid off quickly, you’re giving her a shock. She has to decide whether not seeing you at all is something she can cope with, or if maybe, just maybe she should be viewing you in a different way.

Again, you need to do this with an air of cool confidence. You CANNOT be weak. You CANNOT go for the ‘pity’ date, or you’ll just look like an asshole. Remember: either she dates you or she doesn’t date you, but there’s no middle ground. There’s no going back to “just friends” because it’s a convenient, safe place for her.

The Big Commitment: Go in for the Kiss

This method is the ballsiest, but it also provides the most instant reward. You’re going to go full-out here, balls to the wall. Sink or swim.

Next time you’re supposed to hang out with this girl, make sure you look and feel your absolute best. Take her somewhere cool. Somewhere that could even be considered romantic, like a beach, or a quiet, darkened restaurant. Talk her up, and no matter what you have to do, make her laugh. And just as she’s finished laughing?

Lean in and plant one on her lips.

DON’T do it hesitantly. DON’T pull back. Kiss her like you really mean it. Like you’ve been kissing her for years and years.

One of two things will happen here. Either she’ll go with it – in which case you’re on the final rung of the ladder leading out of the Friend Zone – or she’ll pull away from you. No matter what happens though, make no apologies for what you did.

“Look, you’re awesome. I’m tired of pretending you’re not. I’m sick of being the ‘friend’ to such an amazing, cool girl. I want to be something more, and I want you to want that too.”

The worst thing you can do is berate yourself, or say “I’m sorry I did that…” or any of that kind of stuff. BE A MAN. Make no bones about the fact that you’re attracted to this girl, and make no excuses for wanting to be with her. She may not have been ready for you to kiss her like that, but she certainly has to see you differently. You’re out of the Friend Zone one way or the other, and that’s always a good thing. A girl will let you sit in the Friend Zone forever if you don’t do something to help yourself out.

Understand something: discomfort or embarrassment are fleeting. REGRET IS FOREVER. You’re far better off giving things a try than just sitting there acting like a goofball “friend” to this girl when you really want something more.

And to be honest? Some of these girls are waiting for you to make the first move. Imagine how hard you’ll kick yourself 5, 10, 15 years down the line when you run into this girl again and playfully say “I wonder why we never dated?” only to hear her reply “Well, probably because you never actually asked me out!”

NEVER feel ashamed that you tried to be with someone. NEVER feel bad about opening up and telling them your feelings. The worst that can happen is you go home alone. The best that could happen is you go home together.

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