It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.
They don’t call. They don’t text.
Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.
Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.
So why won’t your ex call or text you?
What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?
The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.
And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.
So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.
A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.
So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.
Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.
No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.
Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.
You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex
Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.
The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.
Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.
You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity
We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).
All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.
Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?
And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.
Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.
This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.
Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On
Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.
This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”
The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).
When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.
Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:
CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend
CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend
And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.Share this: