Category Archives: Signs Ex Loves You

Boyfriend Wants Space? Here are 3 Things You MUST DO

“I just want some space…”

Is that what he said? Or maybe he worded it differently. “Maybe we should take some time apart?” Or the dreaded: “I just need time to think?”

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It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend said it, he always means the same thing: we’re about to break up.

Unless, of course, you know EXACTLY what to do.

Right here, right now, your boyfriend has just checked you into relationship limbo. He’s effectively saying “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

So you begged. You pleaded. You told him you’d “change”. In the end you let him know that you really don’t want time apart, but if he really needs it, you’ll give it to him. Right?

Well, that’s about the worst possible thing you could’ve done.

Understand something: when a guy asks for “space” what he really wants is permission to date other girls. What he’s really saying here is “hey, stick around for a while and don’t go anywhere… but at the same time, I’m free to look for other people.”

If you’re not looking to break up with your boyfriend, and you want to get your relationship back on track? You’re going to need to do three things. Here they are:

Refuse the Whole “Time Apart” Bullshit

Your boyfriend offers a time-out from your relationship, or needs space, or wants time to think… but rather than be the good little girlfriend who’s going to give him exactly that, you’re going to do the opposite. You tell him:

“No, sorry. I don’t do ‘space’. If you want to break up, fine, we’ll break up. But I’m not half-assing it, and I’m not waiting around.”

This is exactly what your guy doesn’t want to hear. The fact that he might lose you during the whole “time off” thing is going to freak him out, mainly because he thinks he can control you during this temporary breakup.

Putting your boyfriend on his back foot is the best way to make him realize you as VALUABLE. He’ll never be forced to really see you that way unless you respect yourself enough not to fall for this crap when he first pulls it.

Pre-Emptively Break Up with Him

At this point, the best thing to do is get pissed. Turn to him and say:

“Know what? If you’re really not sure about this whole thing, then I’m not either. Maybe we should just put an end to it completely, and both move on with our lives.”

This is going to scare your boyfriend right down to his balls. Why? Because he DOESN’T WANT THIS. He wanted a nice cushy little “break” where you kept calling and kept texting and kept telling him you loved him. Instead, you just broke up with him… throwing him for a complete loop.

Walk Away While You Have the Upper Hand

And after you tell him you want a breakup? WALK AWAY. Don’t look back, don’t answer your phone, and don’t respond to his text messages.

Your boyfriend will be left with the feeling that he really messed up. He screwed things big time, and he got exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

Most of all, he now stands to actually LOSE you. The fact that you’re not going to be his girlfriend anymore and he might lose you to someone else is going to create instant value in his eyes. Suddenly you’re a commodity he stands to be without, and he’s not going to want that.

Remember: your boyfriend doesn’t want a breakup. He wants a “temporary break”. This is a cowardly way of trying to keep stringing you along (which is what he wants), and now it just backfired in his face.

Now, if the whole “I need some space” thing already happened, and you missed your chance to do these three things? That’s okay. There’s still a backup plan.

First, look for the 7 signs he still loves you. These are easy-to-spot signals your boyfriend will give off when he’s really not ready to lose you.

Beyond that, there’s this One Opening Move guaranteed to make your ex almost immediately want you back! Make sure you do this one early though, because the longer you wait the harder it will be to pull it off.

In the end, NEVER accept the whole “I need space” excuse. Sitting around and waiting for your boyfriend to get back to you is almost always going to lead to a permanent breakup.

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3 Things to Say (and NOT Say) When Talking to Your EX

Nervous around your ex? Not sure how to talk to them?

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Not knowing what to say – and how to act – around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a very common thing. And if you’re still trying to repair your broken relationship? It’s especially critical that you know EXACTLY what to say (and not say!)

Think about how awkward this is. One minute you’re totally in love and able to say or do anything to each other… and the next minute it’s totally hands off. You go from being lovers to being nothing. You go from being best friends to being nothing more than casual acquaintances.

In some cases you might even be avoiding your ex because you don’t know how to act around them. And this can lead to even more awkwardness. More distance between you.

First, understand that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is just as uncomfortable as you are. Stop putting them up on some pedestal where they’re in total control and you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Do that, and you will be nothing but an emotional wreck, because you’re psyching yourself out before you even get started.

To win back the respect – and ultimately the love – of your ex, you’ll need to do one thing: make yourself desirable again in their eyes. Because at one time? They were head-over-heels ready to date you. And now they’re not.

You do this by maintaining CONTROL. I can’t express this enough: if you give control over to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, then they – and they alone – are the one who’s responsible for whether or not you get back together again.

Be Sure to Hype Yourself Up

When seeing your ex again for the first time, you should seem absolutely excited. No, not excited to see them. Excited for your life in general.

The more fun you seem to be having, the more jealous your boyfriend or girlfriend will be of you. That’s because it’s human nature to want to see you NOT having fun without them.

Making sure you’re totally pumped and doing great and having a kickass time WITHOUT THEM is the perfect way to set your ex on his or her back foot. Right off the bat they’ll feel uncomfortable – especially if they’re the one who initiated the breakup – simply because you seem to be doing so well without them.

Talk About What You’re Doing – But Be Mysterious

Chances are your ex will ask you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, etc… That’s normal. But what your ex is really doing is trying to gauge just how much you really miss them.

Your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you upset, mopey, distraught… so make sure you talk about all the cool things you’ve been up to, even if you have to embellish a bit. Go places and do things that are fun to talk about, so the next time you see or talk to or even text-message with your ex, you can mention these things to make them jealous.

At the same time however, never give them too much information. The more details that are left out, the more that’s left to your ex’s imagination. Remember: you want to create longing and desire again. You need to be cool, fun, hip and mysterious. They should want to know more about you, which will lead them to want you again.

Tell Your Ex it’s Good to See Them Again

Most people avoid their exes like the plague after a breakup. And when they do see them? They avoid eye contact and try not to converse at all.

To win back this person’s admiration and respect, you need to face up to them. Smile. Laugh. Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s good to see them again. And then?

Walk away.

To make someone need you back in their life, you have to create a void where they used to be. By going away – even if it’s by not answering the phone or text-messages – you’re creating a giant gap in this person’s life where they’re used to hearing from you.

Believe it or not, your ex relies on you, even after the breakup. By taking away that safety net, you’re causing them to doubt their decision to break up with you in the first place — especially if you’re smiling and saying “hey, how are you?” when you see them rather than avoid eye contact and slink away.

Three Things NOT to Say to Your Ex

In talking with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, there are 7 common mistakes that will always drive them away. LEARN WHAT THESE ARE! Because if you commit more than two or three of them, you might as well not even try to win them back at all.

That said, there are three things to NEVER do when talking about things with your ex:

• DON’T BE MISERABLE. Your ex won’t feel pity for you. In fact, seeing you miserable is the one thing that will make them realize they did the right thing in breaking up. And that’s because it certainly seems like you need them a lot more than they need you.

• DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BREAK. Nothing says desperation like constantly bringing up the breakup. Whether you’re trying to reverse the breakup or play the blame game, you can’t gain any ground this way.

• DON’T APOLOGIZE. Yes, even if you’re the one who was wrong! Apologizing once again ratifies that your ex is right and you’re wrong. Which makes staying broken up a forgone conclusion!

If you want to learn the complete, step by step process to getting back together, make sure you read it through completely before trying anything. That’s because usually? You only get one good shot at a reconciliation. One good “listen” on your ex’s part.

Everything after that is an uphill climb.

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5 Signs Your Breakup Might Only Be Temporary

Breaking up can sometimes seem like the end of the world. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep… you can’t even get out of bed because you miss your ex so much!

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But then, only a few days or a week later? WHAM! You’re suddenly back together. All of that pain and drama was for nothing, and everything is right with the world again.

So how can you tell when your breakup is real?

Are there signs that your ex is really over you for good?

How can you spot the signals given off when your breakup is only going to be a temporary thing?

Below you’ll find 5 big signs that your ex isn’t truly finished with dating you. Recognizing and exploiting these signals can actually help you get back together sooner, rather than later, and reduce the risk of a permanent breakup.

1. Your Ex Keeps Texting You

Text-messaging shouldn’t just drop off after a breakup, it should end entirely. Because if your boyfriend or girlfriend is truly no longer interested? They’ll realize that texting you would only give you false hope.

Any kind of post-breakup contact is an indication of one or two things: interest or regret. Either your ex is still interested in what you’re doing (who you’re with, whether you’re going to start seeing other people, etc…) or they’re showing some regret for leaving you behind.

This goes no matter what your ex says in the text messages. They can claim the messages are innocent and mean nothing, but should know that they don’t.

2. Your Ex Wants to See You

Breaking up correctly is like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts a lot to do it quickly, but at least the pain is over fast. But an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend who insists on still seeing you, or even better, running into you by ‘accident’? That person is reconsidering the breakup altogether.

Long-term relationships can leave mental, emotional, and even physical connections behind. There is usually a NEED for that person, a void that’s left after they’re gone.

Even if they’re the one who initiated the break, your ex might be addicted to contact with you, in one form or another. Keep in mind that needing to see you is a definite sign that they’re not yet ready to call it quits.

3. Your Ex Wants to be Friends

Does your ex really want you as a friend? No. What they want is to continue part of the relationship; ideally, the part where they get to see what you’re doing and keep tabs on you while the decide whether or not they want you back.

Agreeing to be friends with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will NEVER get them back. In fact, the best thing to do in such a situation is refuse to remain friends at all… then pull out these 3 amazing moves that will make your ex miss you – and need you back – almost immediately.

Friendship is always a bad choice. Stick around as ‘friends’ for too long and your ex will never get to see you as a potential partner again, eliminating any possible chance of reversing your breakup and getting back together. The LAST thing you want is to fall into the Friend Zone. Especially if you’re trying to fix things and win your lover back.

4. Your Ex is Trying to Make You Jealous

When you see your former boyfriend or girlfriend out partying, whooping it up, or even grinding up against someone new for your benefit? It’s because they know you’re going to get jealous and they WANT you to feel that emotion.

Jealousy is your ex’s way of sticking it to you. It’s his or her way of making you want to chase them. Taking you back is one thing. Getting you to come crawling back is quite another. Because if you do that? They can restart the relationship on their terms, which usually means they’re going to abuse your love for them.

5. Your Ex is Suddenly Nice to You Again

One of the biggest signs that a breakup might be a mistake is when your ex boyfriend or girlfriend starts acting the way they did at the beginning. You know what I’m talking about: back to right before you were dating, when the two of you were still trying to woo or impress each other.

Being apart can also offer clarity. You’ll see things differently when you’re apart than when you’re together every day. You’ll start to miss things. Regret things you might’ve said or done. This will lead you to want to be nice to your ex, which in turn, can get your head spinning with the idea of wanting to date them again.

“Wow, I forgot it could be this good. Maybe it could be this good again.” – That sort of thing.

What to Do if You Want Your Ex Back

Getting back together after an unwanted breakup is nothing more than a series of taking the right steps. The only problem? All too often, most people make all the wrong moves.

They do this out of frustration, out of anger, and out of loneliness. Worst of all, they do it without realizing it’s having exactly the opposite effect: it’s driving an ex away rather than drawing them closer.

First, make sure you’re not making any of the 7 Biggest Breakup Mistakes. Commit even a few of these, and you can kiss your relationship goodbye forever.

Second, check out the amazing guide The Magic of Making Up. Author and relationship expert T.W. Jackson gives you a step-by-step, foolproof plan for making an ex need you back in their life again, no matter how long it’s been since the breakup.

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16 Signs You Just Weren’t Meant to Be Together

Ever break up with someone over and over again, but keep trying to stay in the relationship? Well you’re not alone. Everyone does this at one time or another, struggling to keep a romance alive that just doesn’t… well… fit.

The following is a big list of red flags. The more of these that apply to your current (or past) relationship? The more you probably would be better off apart.

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1. Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty All The Time

Ever feel guilty just taking time for yourself? Even doing little things with friends and family? That’s the type of guilt a relationship really doesn’t need. This is a huge sign of an overprotective, needy lover.

2. The Love Feels… One-Sided

A good relationship is a 50/50 partnership; both people love and respect each other as equals. So when you start feeling as if you love your boyfriend or girlfriend a little bit more than they love you? The balance of power shifts, and you start getting taken advantage of.

Keep in mind, this can go two ways. If your partner loves you more than you love them, you’ll feel as if they’re being clingy or needy and this can also be a huge turnoff.

3. Your Lover is Never Happy For Your Successes

Healthy couples lift each other up rather than tear each other down. So if your boyfriend or girlfriend seems constantly ‘annoyed’ when you get a promotion, succeed at something, or get good news? It’s because he or she is jealous – and insecure – of your success.

4. You Stopped Hanging Out with Your Friends During the Course of Your Relationship

This is a common one. It’s okay – and inevitable – to spend less time with friends once you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. That said, if your partner is making you feel guilty about seeing your friends at all? This is toxic, unhealthy thing… and it will eventually cause resentment on your part, leading to the demise of your relationship.

5. Your Ex Held You to Double-Standards

Was he allowed to go out with his friends, but you weren’t? Was she allowed to take trips without you, but you were forbidden to do the same? These kinds of double-standards are a sign of unhealthy jealousy. Your lover is personifying their insecurities through control, trying to keep you from doing things they themselves see no problem with doing.

6. You Argued Over Nothing. Literally.

Big fights over important stuff are one thing. But big fights spawned from little arguments over the most insignificant bullshit? That’s a sign of resentment. You and your partner are bickering over little tiny things because you resent each other for bigger, underlying reasons. The thing you’re arguing about is not the actual problem.

7. You’re Looking For Reasons to NOT See Each Other

When you start avoiding your boyfriend or girlfriend because hanging out with them seems like a ‘chore’, it’s a sure sign you’re losing interest. Either that, or you’re hanging out too much and need to back off a little and give each other some breathing room.

8. Your Relationship is Consumed by Jealousy

The most powerful and ugly of all emotions is jealousy. If you or your partner are constantly jealous of each other, especially in situations where things are nothing more than totally innocent, it’s another sign that the relationship has gone toxic.

A good, healthy relationship allows for TRUST and FREEDOMS. If you don’t have those things, jealousy will run your romance straight into the ground.

9. You Just Can’t See a Future Together

A strong relationship allows you to see long term. You and your partner get so close that you can’t imagine a life without each other, and that’s when you start planning for your future.

If you’ve been dating for a significant amount of time (more than 6 months) and you still can’t see a future with this person? It’s a sure indication that the relationship might be more of a temporary dalliance, or fling.

10. You’re Always Longing for the ‘Good Old Days’, or Wishing Things Could Be Like the Past

If you’re wishing things could be like they were “in the beginning”, it’s a sign that your relationship has devolved. Maybe it’s fighting, or arguing, or jealousy, or just plain boredom. But no matter what it is, something’s very, very wrong.

Here are 4 big signs your partner boyfriend or girlfriend loves you. If you’re still seeing some of these signs, there might be hope to save the relationship.

11. You’re Looking For Reasons to Be Mad

When being ‘right’ about something becomes more important than actually loving and caring for someone, it easily leads to picking fights. In this type of relationship you’re always chasing after that “Ah ha!” moment, to prove your lover is wrong about something. Seeking an apology all the time is another bad sign. This means you’re constantly playing the victim, looking for negative attention just so you can be ‘right’ and your lover can be ‘wrong’. That’s not a relationship anymore. It’s something worse.

12. You’re Always Trying to Outdo Each Other

A good romance is a partnership; you succeed together, and you build each other up. In short, it should feel like it’s the two of you against the rest of the world! And nothing can stop you.

So if you feel like you’re actually competing with your partner? That’s bad. It’s a sign of resentment toward each other when you’re always trying to one-up your boyfriend or girlfriend, or prove that you’re ‘better’ than they are.

13. Your Relationship is a Constant Power-Struggle

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It doesn’t make a difference, because you’re too busy fighting. When your romance devolves into an eternal power-struggle to see who’s right and who’s wrong, there’s no time left to love or respect each other. You have to stop trying to be the victor and start trying to be a partner.

14. You’re Constantly Lying About Things

If you have to lie to your boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, it’s because there’s something very, very wrong. Either they’re overly jealous, or controlling, or whatever… but something is making you fabricate lies as to where you went, who you’ve been with, and what you’ve been doing without them… even if those things are completely innocent.

15. Your Friends and Family Don’t Approve of the Relationship

We all bring home people our parents (or friends) don’t like. That said, when you look around and suddenly you’re the only one who thinks your lover is a good person? Chances are he or she might be not so great a match for you. This could include all types of abuse; physical, emotional, verbal, mental… make sure this person loves you for who you are and isn’t trying to mold you into something they desire.

16. None of the Time You Spend is Quality Time

Just hanging out? Not really going anywhere or doing anything? That’s fine, as long as you’re having fun and loving the time you spend with your partner.

However, if you look back over the last half-dozen times you spent together and can only see the fights and arguments? That’s because you’re either spending too much time together, or you’re too busy resenting each other to spend that time doing quality things.

What to Do if Your Relationship is Toxic

If you find your romance has changed from something loving and great into something toxic, there might still be time to save it. Check out these two articles that give you step by step instructions on how to fix things between you, and put you back on the right track:

For girls: How to Rekindle the Romance with your Boyfriend

For guys: How to Make Your Girlfriend Fall Back in Love With You Again

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10 Big Signs He’s Ready to Come Back

So you broke up… and you’re totally confused. Your ex boyfriend is sending mixed signals about how he feels, and whether or not he wants the relationship to continue. Knowing what he’s thinking is impossible. And knowing when it’s okay to move on? Well, that’s even harder.

So how do you know when he’s ready to come back? The following are 10 big signs that your ex is rethinking the breakup, and might be ready to make a move in your direction:

10 Signs Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

1. He Still Wants to Be Friends

Believe it or not, this happens out of insecurity. Your boyfriend isn’t looking for another ‘friend’. He’s looking to keep tabs on you during the breakup, just in case he wants you back.

Think of it this way: the friendship is his insurance policy. Because as long as you’re still buddies? He can talk to you, keep track of you, and even ask about your dating life. Being friends grants him all of those things, which is like an inside look into what you’re doing.

Be if he truly wanted to be broken up for good? Being friends with you would be uncomfortable for him. It simply wouldn’t be something he wants.

2. Your Ex Boyfriend is Still Texting You

Once again, this serves as an umbilical cord, connecting the two of you while your boyfriend tests out the breakup. Because if he’s still texting you even after he dumped you? There are only two main reasons for that: to keep stringing you along, and for sex.

Stringing you along isn’t malicious, by the way. He’s doing it selfishly, and because it makes him feel secure that you still want him. The more you text with each other, the more ‘normal’ things seem for him, even though you’re no longer together. Normalcy = comfort, and if there’s one thing you don’t want your ex boyfriend to be right now, it’s comfortable with the breakup.

Texting you for sex is another option. Many guys will keep you at their fingertips for whenever they’re feeling lonely, or horny, or both. Your boyfriend knows you still love him, and that you probably want him back. He knows you’ll come running if he texts you, yet after the deed is done he might have different feelings. Keep this in mind. Be careful with how you handle such contact, because you don’t want to get hurt.

3. He’s Still Following You on Social Media

This is a big one these days. A guy who’s totally done with dating you will want to eradicate all trace of you as soon as possible, and he’ll do that by unfollowing you and unfriending you on every one of his accounts.

Moreover, he’ll do this for another reason: he doesn’t want to see what you might be doing. Seeing you dating someone else could be hurtful, or to be honest, maybe he simply doesn’t care anymore. Losing you as a Facebook friend or Instagram follower means nothing in this case, so he’ll simplify his life by cutting you off.

So yes, if he’s still following you? It could be a sign he wants you back. At the very least, it’s definitely a sign of interest. So be very careful about what you put on your social media accounts, and no matter what you do, never look as if you’re needy.

In most cases, you can even use social media to get your boyfriend back. There are lots of tips and tricks to try out in that link, so make sure you learn what they are!

4. Your Ex is Asking Your Friends About You

When your exboyfriend is getting ready to come back to you, he’ll send out certain feelers. One of the bigger ones? He’ll want to know how your friends feel about the two of you, and also, how you’re doing without him.

If an ex starts asking around for you, it’s crucial your friends know what to say. Telling him you’ve been lonely and miss him is a HUGE mistake! Even if you are lonely and do miss your ex, the last thing you want to do is let him know it. It’s always best for your ex to think you’re doing better without him than with him, which will make him feel like the loser of the breakup and create an actual NEED to have you in his life again.

5. Your Ex Boyfriend is Talking About the Past

Nostalgia is a powerful motivator. During a breakup – any breakup, no matter who you are – you’ll replay certain aspects of the relationship in your mind. Over and over you’ll go over the good times; the trips you took, the great memories you made, the best sex you had… all of those things become glorified and promoted as the best aspects of dating YOU.

Now, if an ex sees more bad times than good? He’s not going to talk about the past. In fact he’s going to avoid speaking about it entirely. So if he’s speaking about your past, especially in fond terms? It’s a tremendous sign he might be ready to give things a second shot.

6. Your Ex Calls You Out of the Blue

Ever get that phone call or text message? It might be something heartfelt, such as “I was thinking about you” or “I was missing you today”, or it might be as simple as the word “Hey”. The truth however, is that your ex is obviously thinking about you. He got caught up in a moment of weakness, and he went out on a limb to put the ball in your court.

Whenever your ex contacts you from out of the clear blue sky it’s one of the biggest signs of weakness in the world. He’s definitely reconsidering the breakup, or at the very least, is trying to figure things out. This is the point where he’ll try to see you again, even if he attempts to downplay it as a casual hangout.

Make sure you know exactly what to say when your ex boyfriend calls you! If you know which topics to bring up, and which to avoid, you can advance the reconciliation process to mere days or even hours rather than wait weeks or months to see if he wants you back.

7. Your Boyfriend Wants to Exchange ‘Things’ With You

Ever break up, trade eachother’s things back, and then get a phone call weeks later? “Oh hey, I found some of your DVD’s… maybe I could swing by and drop them off?”

Well that phone call is bullshit. It’s your ex’s way of trying to physically see you, and that’s a good sign. Anything important that he needed from your place would’ve been taken care of long before now, so if it’s weeks after the breakup and he’s still trying to exchange stuff with you, it’s merely a smokescreen for trying to see you again.

8. Your Ex Wants to Meet Up with You

This is it. The big one. Your boyfriend broke up with you, told you to go your own way, and now for some reason or another, he wants to see you again.

It doesn’t matter what reason he gives. It could sound legitimate, or it could be totally lame. The best thing to do is accept it for what it is, and allow him to pick a time and place. The worst thing to do would be to interrogate him with “What? Why? What do you want to say to me?” because this will embarrass him and turn him off to the whole thing.

When you DO go to see your ex for the first time after the breakup, you should know exactly how to handle it. Read this complete guide on how to handle the reunion date in such a way it’ll make your ex boyfriend want to see you again and again and again.

9. Your Ex Wants to Have Sex With You

Yup. It happens all the time, and especially if you’ve both been lonely. Sex with your ex might seem like a good idea, and it’s certainly something you’ll want, but in the long run, you need to be careful with how much, ummm… physical ‘access’ you give to your ex boyfriend.

There are times when having sex with an ex is okay. But if you want him back as a boyfriend again? You’ll need to manipulate the situation down some constructive avenues before any of the clothes come flying off.

Learn exactly when it’s okay to sleep with him, and when it’s better to withhold physical contact. Sex should never be used as a weapon, but you also can’t use it as a reward or lure to falsely win him back.

10. Your Ex Boyfriend Stays Connected with Your Family or Friends

Someone who’s looking to break ties with you is going to break them all. He’ll stop calling, texting, emailing… he’ll drop you on Facebook or Instagram, etc.. etc… etc…

That said, an ex boyfriend will have to leave your friends and family alone as well, especially if he wants to move on. So even if he’s close with your friends, or best pals with your brother? Steering clear of these people is always a sign that your ex doesn’t see himself having any kind of future with you.

The opposite, of course, is always true: an ex who keeps in touch with the closest people in your life is an ex who isn’t ready to lose you entirely. Every tiny piece of contact or commitment that he can keep going is just one more thread tying him to you, and in the long run, makes it just that much easier to re-insert himself in your life again.

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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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Why Does My Ex Still Text Me?

In the old days, a breakup was a breakup. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and you’d go on with your life.

Anthony Malibu - Why Does my Ex Text Me

But in today’s digital age? There are still DOZENS of connections between you and your ex, even after the relationship ends. Photo albums, Facebook posts, Instagram messages, emails… and of course, the hundreds or even thousands of text messages you shared during the time when the two of you were dating.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Why would he or she be keeping up text-message contact, even though you’re no longer together?

Sometimes the answer is simple; your ex is still thinking about you. You’ve left their life, maybe for good, but you still haven’t left their train of thought.

Imagine how many times you texted your boyfriend or girlfriend over the course of your romance with them. Every morning, every night… all through the day. So even now, their daily routine of talking to you is pretty standard. It’s still keeping you ‘together’, at least on a text-based level.

Other times, the answer is a bit more complicated. That’s because there are always residual feelings and emotions to deal with any time two people break up.

These are the deep-seeded ties that bound you while you were in love with each other. The ones that were so powerful in the beginning. The ones that made it so that you couldn’t keep away from each other, and wanted to spend every minute of every day together, no matter what.

And these powerful connections? They stick around for a while. They just don’t go instantly away because someone said three simple works: “let’s break up”.

An ex will text you for a number of reasons. All of them are generally signs of interest. So if you’re looking to patch things up, or try and get back together again? The fact that your ex is staying on touch with you, even on your tiny little 4-inch cellphone screen? Yeah, it’s still a pretty good thing.

The 8 Big Reasons You’ll Receive Texts From Your Ex

Below you’ll find a list of reasons why your ex is still texting you. Some mean little in the grand scheme of things, but others are a lot more telling when it comes to how your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend truly feels about you.

Your Ex Misses You… Big Time

Let’s face it, when dating someone you get used to spending an awful lot of time together. You see each other, open up about your lives, and tell each other all about daily events. It’s something you’re accustomed to, and so is your ex.

This is why you might still get the occasional message, even after being apart. Your ex is simply thinking about you. He or she misses the contact, and is reaching out for something as simple as someone to talk to, or to bounce ideas off of, like in the old days.

He or She is Used to Contacting You Every Day

Texting back and forth all day, every day, is something you’ve both taken for granted during your relationship. So if you’ve been doing it for months, even years? It’s something you – as well as your ex – might still be tempted to do.

A lot of times people think this type of text-messaging is innocent: “Oh, I like to talk to him/her, but I don’t want to get back together or anything…”

In reality? ALL texting means something. There’s no “innocent” contact when it comes to your ex, unless you’re making that one final phone call to get your stuff back. An ex who is still hammering out a bunch of small-talk on your cellphone all day is an ex who isn’t yet ready to lose you completely.

Your Ex Wants to Be Friends After the Breakup

This reason is always a hidden agenda. Believe me when I say there’s no such thing as 100% strictly platonic friends “with an ex”. That doesn’t happen, not even in movies.

Once you’re intimate with someone, that’s IT. The dynamic between you is forever changed. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge.

Yet some people will continue deluding themselves that somehow, some way, they can be ‘friends’ with someone they dated. As if one person doesn’t still love the other person just a little bit more… tilting the scales so that the balance of power always denotes a breakup “winner” and a breakup “loser”.

If your ex wants to be friends it’s because he or she WANTS something. Most of the time, it’s information. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you in their life as a security blanket; something to hold onto in case being single doesn’t work out for them. Your “friendship” is a tool. A way for your ex to have his/her cake and eat it too.

Your Ex is Checking Up on You Through Your Phone

Other times, an ex will just want to see where you are. It’s comforting to know that you haven’t moved on, haven’t started dating, and didn’t meet anyone else since the two of you went your separate ways.

Why is this? Does your ex hate you? Do they want to see you fail? Well, no and yes. No, they don’t hate you. But yes, it’s human nature to want to see you worse off than when you were with them.

In short, your ex wants to be right. They would like to believe that breaking up with you was the right move, so they use text-messages to “keep in touch” under the guise of innocent contact. Which, of course, it’s not.

He or She Drunk Texted You

Drunk-calling has now been replaced by drunk texting. This is when it’s late at night, your ex has been drinking, and his or her thoughts inevitably turn toward you.

This is a HUGE SIGN OF INTEREST! Being drunk, your defenses are always down. That’s when your true feelings rise to the surface, unhindered by any inhibitions or walls you may have been putting up.

This means your ex secretly thinks about you a lot more than you think. The alcohol acts as a catalyst for contact; rather than refrain from calling or texting you while they were sober, your drunk exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is free to do whatever they want… and blame it on the alcohol later on.

Your Ex is Nostalgic About Your Past History Together

Know why people get back together? Because the beginning of every relationship is AMAZING.

Think about that. Go back to those first few weeks (a.k.a. the ‘honeymoon phase’) of your relationship and tell me it wasn’t the best thing in the whole world. Tell me the feelings weren’t explosively powerful. Tell me the sex wasn’t Rock Star levels of Godliness.

When your ex is lonely, he or she will think back to those early times. The good times, before all the bullshit. Before all the fighting and arguing and stupid jealousy that probably broke you up.

Fixing a breakup is all about bringing these feelings back again. There are some really great methods and techniques for making your ex remember how much they really love being with you, if you’re willing to sit down and learn them.

Your Ex Wants to Hook Up, Meet Up, Have Sex, Etc…

This one is the Booty Call. The unapologetic “hey, let’s hang out” text that ends up in bed with the two of you rolling around naked. And hey, that’s okay. Sex is actually a big part of getting back together.

Take this text for what it is; your ex is still physically attracted to you. Whether or not that leads to a more emotional and permanent connection is still up in the air, but at least you’re moving in the right direction.

Your Ex is Feeling You Out on the Subject of Getting Back Together

In the final stages of a breakup, right before you get back together again, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend will try and gauge your feelings. They’d like to know that if they suggested giving your romance another chance, they’re not going to be rejected or shot down.

That’s where this text comes in. Your partner will usually be more overt about his or her intentions here, asking factual questions about where you are, how you’ve been doing (emotionally), and whether or not you’re dating someone else. You’ll also get “do you miss me?” and “do you remember when we used to XYZ?” a lot, which is his or her way of trying to remind you of how good you were together.

A former lover who gets nostalgic or reminiscent about the past is a lover who wants to create future times with you. So yeah, your ex is probably about to ask you out again. Roll with it, if that’s what you want, and encourage such contact. Then see where it goes.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

In the end, there are lots of signs and signals your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will give off when they’re showing interest in you again. Spotting these signs, and then knowing what to do about them? Well, that’s the tricky part.

Why does me ex text me? Truth is, it’s an extension of your past relationship. Breakups HURT. Messaging back and forth can alleviate that pain, even if just for a little while.

All said, timing is everything when it comes to reconciling. You need to make the right moves, at the right times, while avoiding all of the wrong ones.

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What Does it Mean When My Ex Drunk Dials Me?

It comes when you least expect it… Midnight. 2am. You pick up the phone and there’s your ex, talking as loudly and obnoxiously as if it’s 2 O’Clock in the afternoon.

Drunk dialing is one of the bigger faux pas you can encounter. But after a breakup? Well, when your ex calls you up it’s not only because he or she is totally inebriated.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Drunk Dialed Me

Often, a drunk phone call actually means something.

In some cases, it even means a lot.

Look, in the everyday world your ex is strong. He or she broke up with you, and intends on going their own way. But after a few drinks (or a lot of drinks), suddenly the inhibitions are lowered. Obstacles disappear.

What might seem like a really bad idea when sober becomes an awesome idea when your ex is drunk. And why?

Well, because your ex still has feelings for you in one way or another. Because he or she could’ve called anyone in their entire phone – in the entire world even – but in that exact moment of vulnerability and weakness your ex actually called YOU.

Why Alcohol is Usually the Best Truth Serum

Alcohol makes people crazy, happy, silly, stupid, violent, and a whole bunch of other things, depending upon the person. But the one thing it does universally, to everyone, is bring out the truth.

So if your ex managed to call or text you at their weakest moment? It’s almost always an indication that they still love you, or still need you in some way.

In some cases, your ex might even want you back. They could be working up the courage to tell you this, or even to admit it to themselves. But once under the influence of alcohol? Their feelings become a lot more obvious as their inhibitions melt away.

Face it, every relationship – no matter how it ended – leaves residual feelings behind. Whatever emotional bonds the two of you shared don’t just disappear the second you break up.

In fact, very often? These feelings are buried. If you want your ex back, it’s up to you to unbury them… or even better, get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to unbury those feelings themselves.

Buttons You Can Push to Expose Your Ex’s Feelings

There are three major emotional reconnection techniques you can utilize when you want to fix your breakup. These are designed to instantly stop your ex from thinking bad things about you, and help them remember the good.

Once you master how to push these emotional hot buttons, you gain quick control over how your ex views you. Essentially, you can change their mind without them even knowing that you changed it. Almost like the Jedi Mind trick, but with a little less Force.

Understanding exactly how to tug on your ex’s heartstrings is more of an art than anything else. You can’t pull too hard, or you run the risk of scaring them away. But you also can’t sit back and do nothing, because eventually those feelings will fade.

What to Do When Your Ex Drunk Dials You

The very best thing to do when you get that drunken phone call is try to be understanding about it. Don’t get grumpy, or bitter, or launch into a lecture… these things will only make you come off like a jerk. Your ex will remember you being an asshole to them, and that’s pretty much all they’ll remember.

Instead, be cool. Realize this is something that can happen to all of us. If you’re still in love with this person, let them talk. See if you can read some of the bigger signs that your ex still loves you, or at least, still has feelings.

Whatever you do, don’t push. You can’t get answers right now, and even if you could, you wouldn’t want them. This isn’t the time for serious conversation, but if you still want this person in your life it’s a good time to have a fun conversation, laugh a bit, and maybe even bring up some of the cooler moments of your past relationship. Because when your ex wakes up? THAT’S what he or she will remember.

In the end, drunk dialing is always a sign of interest. You should be flattered, not pissed. You should see it as a compliment, even if it cost you some sleep. And in the grand scheme of things? This type of phone call can put you one step closer to reconciliation.

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My Ex Still Answers My Texts – What Does it Mean?

One of the more confusing aspects of breaking up is an ex who keeps in touch with you afterward. Especially when that person acts as if it’s perfectly normal to stay in touch, keep up past levels of communication, or even ‘stay friends’ afterward.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Still Texting You

For your ex, this is a comfortable situation. He or she still gets the security of still talking to you, which is an advantage when it comes to letting go. It always hurts less to let someone go over a longer period of time rather than just cut ties all at once, which is why most people will keep up some level of contact even after breaking up.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Are they just looking out for you? Trying to be friendly?

Or is there some other underlying reason for them to keep texting you after breaking things off?

Well first, a lot can be said by the way the two of you broke up. In the case where the breakup was mutual (or at least you agreed that it was), texting each other might be an extension of habit. You’ve been talking all through your relationship, and since you parted ways with no really bad feelings, staying in contact seems fairly natural.

In other cases though, when an ex is still texting you? It’s probably because he or she has some unfinished business.

How to Use Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re the one who got dumped, obviously you’d like to fix the situation. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might prompt you to continue texting with them purely for your own interests. You want to keep talking with them. You don’t want them to lose interest. You love them, and would hate to lose them, so you’re willing to hang on to any last scrap of the former relationship no matter how big or small.

In truth however, constantly texting with your ex is counterproductive to getting them back. Because you can’t fix your breakup until:

  • Your ex misses you.
  • Your ex needs you.
  • Your ex sees you as attractive again.

Those three things. That’s it. That’s all it takes to get back together again.

Now getting your ex to miss you, right off the bat, is a huge problem if you’re still carrying on a textual relationship. By not taking yourself out of his or her life, you’re not creating a hole where you used to be. You’re still there. You’re only a few buttons away at any given time, and that knowledge gives your ex the security to continue being without you. Because in many ways, they still have you.

If your ex doesn’t miss you, they’ll never need you back. If you never go away, they never have to experience a life without you in it. So right away you’ve got two strikes going for you.

Finally, your ex broke up with you for a reason. Maybe even a few reasons. But whatever those were, they added up to the same thing: the romance lost something along the way. Whatever attracted your boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place wore off, and this was a combination of physical looks, emotional attachments, and personality traits that made them interested in you.

When you keep texting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll see it as needy. They’ll see it as a sign that you need them more than they need you. Especially if you’re answering the texts very quickly, or flirting with your responses.

Think of it this way; we all want someone desirable. Someone who’s cool and attractive to the point where they’re almost unattainable. Capturing that person’s interest is a huge part of the courtship process. Getting them to like and appreciate you is your ultimate goal.

So when you’re already doing these things? When your ex already has your undivided attention? There’s no chase. You’ve eliminated the courtship process and gone straight to “hey, here I am, take me when you want me”, and at the same time, you’ve given your ex no particular reason to still want you back. Nothing has really changed. Even the texts have been the same.

To win your ex back, you need to break this cycle. You need to withdraw, shake things up, and let your ex know he or she stands to really lose you – and for good too – if they don’t immediately start chasing you again.

Your first step? Taking Away your Ex’s Safety Net. Because once you do this, the breakup roles are entirely reversed. The power your ex took when they broke things off shifts back to you, and you can then use that power to make them want you again.

You also learn tons more about texing your ex (and how you can use text-messages to lure them back), by watching this video. It’s a great tool for those trying to re-attract an ex boyfriend or girlfriend strictly using text messages.

But for now, stop texting your ex. Don’t answer for a while and see what happens. Some of the best advice you can get involves turning your phone off, putting it in a drawer, and going out and having a great time WITHOUT your ex (and without your cellphone). Your LIFE is the thing that makes you attractive to someone. Not your text-messages.

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Take the Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Quiz

Does he still love you? Sometimes it’s not easy to tell. Guys can send very mixed feelings your way after a breakup, and their intentions are never 100% clear.

To understand whether or not you’ve still got a shot, you need to know how your ex really feels. You have to dig deep, to where unresolved emotional bonds are still tying him to you in one way or another. And more often than not, this is not something your ex is going to be open about, or disclose willingly.

Get Your Ex Back Quiz

The following Quiz can tell you a whole bunch of stuff about your ex boyfriend. Answering honestly, you’ll learn:

  • What it means when he’s still calling you, and how you can get your ex to call.
  • How much you should read into it when your boyfriend keeps ‘running into’ you.
  • What the type of contact your ex makes says about his future intentions.
  • How the way he broke up with you can affect whether or not he still sees the two of you together.
  • How any communication he has with your family and friends can be a big sign he’s ready to take you back.
  • Why the excuses he gives for calling you can hint at the possibility of an apology or reconciliation.
  • The true reason(s) he may have broken up with you (which are not always what he originally told you).
  • Why your ex bringing up the past can be a big tell when it comes to getting back together.
  • Exactly what it means when you have intimacy after the breakup (sex with your ex).

These are only a few of the areas covered by this 18-question quiz. At the end the quiz is fully scored, and points tallied to give a total. The higher your score, the greater the chance your boyfriend still wants you back. From there recommendations are made, based upon how you scored and which questions received stronger answers.

The entire Get Your Ex Back Quiz can be found here. Check it out, and see how high a score you get.

Connecting With Your Ex Boyfriend After the Breakup

In some cases you’ll want to walk away from a bad relationship. But in others? You’ll feel like the whole thing is unfinished. As if you really could be good together, if only the two of you could get past a few hurdles.

Knowing what those hurdles are is usually difficult. Many relationships end with a bunch of fighting or bad feelings, and others just end with two people shutting up and walking away. Getting back in touch after that can be difficult. Contacting your ex is like putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for rejection, if the type of contact you make with him is unwanted.

If your ex hasn’t called or contacted you at all, calling him isn’t the answer. Not now, while he still hasn’t had time to miss you. But then many times, an ex boyfriend will want to stay in touch with you after breaking things off. He’ll send text messages, or even encourage you to do the same. He might even suggest staying friends with him, but if you want him back? This type of arrangement will only lessen your chances at ever being his girlfriend again… and for a good many reasons.

Remember: you can’t force someone to be with you. You can only make them see what they’ll be missing, and to do that, you need to go away for a while. In cutting yourself entirely from your boyfriend’s life you can play upon the existing emotional bonds he’s currently trying to bury. And if those bonds are strong enough? He’ll miss you enough that he’ll need you back, or at least need to start hearing from you again… and this is when he’ll make that call.

Learn the best methods to accelerate your ex missing you, and use them to speed up the process of fixing your breakup. These work more efficiently when you employ them closest to your breakup date, so don’t wait forever.

And in the meantime? Take the quiz to see exactly where you stand on the path to getting back together.

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