Category Archives: Texting With Your Ex

The REAL Reason He’s Still Texting You After the Breakup

Confused by the fact your ex boyfriend still texts you? Don’t be. This is one of the most common things that can happen after a breakup.

texting-after-breakup

And it’s also very, very telling.

Look at it this way: if your ex is still sending texts beyond the day he broke up with you, chances are good he’s not 100% ready to let you go.

Any guy looking to ditch you forever is never going to do something that might be construed as leading you on.

Why? Because, to be brutally honest, he’s trying to get rid of you.

That’s why texting after a breakup is so important. It tells a lot about how your exboyfriend feels. It can also be a big indication as to whether or not he wants you back.

The first thing to look for are the 7 Signs He’s Still Interested. If you spot more than 3 of these, your relationship might be salvageable purely on the basis that you ex isn’t ready to move on.

It’s All About Control

First and foremost, text-messaging you is one way for your ex boyfriend to maintain control.

Yes, he broke up with you. Yes, you can “technically” do whatever you want. But as long as YOU think there’s still a chance of getting back together (and hell, you still want to get back together), you’re not going to screw that up by going out and dating someone else.

Your ex knows this. That’s why he’ll use text-messages as a method of control. A way of showing you just enough interest to keep stringing you along… but not enough interest that you’re back together as a couple.

It’s All About Spying on You

Texting you is also a way for your ex to keep you from seeing other people. Simple, seemingly-innocent texts such as “hey, what did you do today?” are actually your exboyfriend’s way of spying on you. He’s going to know if you’re out doing something he doesn’t want you to do. He’ll even use guilt texts to keep you from doing stuff, with the vague promise of “maybe one day… someday… we’ll get back together”.

Think about it. Has your ex said stuff like:

“I’ll always love you”

and

“We’re definitely meant to be together… maybe just not right now.”

This is because he’s stringing you along. He wants you to stay away so he can do what he wants (and possibly date other girls), but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to go away entirely.

In short, he wants to keep an eye on you. You know, just in case his next relationship fails… or he gets lovesick about your previous romance and suddenly wants you back.

What Does it Mean When he Drunk Texts You

There are two times when your former boyfriend is at his weakest: late at night when he’s alone, and when he’s drunk.

At night, being lonely, your ex will start reminiscing about the good times you shared together. He might send you a “hey” text message, or something more meaningful (and honest) like “thinking about you”. Either way, he is thinking about you. And if you want him back, that’s a good thing.

Drunk texts are a similar matter. When your ex is inebriated his guard is down. This allows his true feelings to come out; often he’ll suppress his real feelings and/or love for you because he’s trying to be “tough” or keep the breakup going. But when he’s drunk? That wall falls away, and his heart is a lot more exposed.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

If you don’t want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM. Anything you do or say — no matter how innocent — will be construed as interest.

If you actually do want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM! At least not right away. Creating space and unavailability is the first step in creating longing again. And you can’t get him back until he actually longs for an needs you.

Now, there’s also a step-by-step blueprint for Texting Your Ex Back. This is basically a series of text-messages you can send him that will, if you time it right, actually make him want YOU.

Learn about these texts if you’re interested in reversing your breakup. And remember, no matter what: texting after the breakup ALWAYS means something!

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5 Signs Your Breakup Might Only Be Temporary

Breaking up can sometimes seem like the end of the world. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep… you can’t even get out of bed because you miss your ex so much!

5-signs-breakup-might-be-temporary

But then, only a few days or a week later? WHAM! You’re suddenly back together. All of that pain and drama was for nothing, and everything is right with the world again.

So how can you tell when your breakup is real?

Are there signs that your ex is really over you for good?

How can you spot the signals given off when your breakup is only going to be a temporary thing?

Below you’ll find 5 big signs that your ex isn’t truly finished with dating you. Recognizing and exploiting these signals can actually help you get back together sooner, rather than later, and reduce the risk of a permanent breakup.

1. Your Ex Keeps Texting You

Text-messaging shouldn’t just drop off after a breakup, it should end entirely. Because if your boyfriend or girlfriend is truly no longer interested? They’ll realize that texting you would only give you false hope.

Any kind of post-breakup contact is an indication of one or two things: interest or regret. Either your ex is still interested in what you’re doing (who you’re with, whether you’re going to start seeing other people, etc…) or they’re showing some regret for leaving you behind.

This goes no matter what your ex says in the text messages. They can claim the messages are innocent and mean nothing, but should know that they don’t.

2. Your Ex Wants to See You

Breaking up correctly is like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts a lot to do it quickly, but at least the pain is over fast. But an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend who insists on still seeing you, or even better, running into you by ‘accident’? That person is reconsidering the breakup altogether.

Long-term relationships can leave mental, emotional, and even physical connections behind. There is usually a NEED for that person, a void that’s left after they’re gone.

Even if they’re the one who initiated the break, your ex might be addicted to contact with you, in one form or another. Keep in mind that needing to see you is a definite sign that they’re not yet ready to call it quits.

3. Your Ex Wants to be Friends

Does your ex really want you as a friend? No. What they want is to continue part of the relationship; ideally, the part where they get to see what you’re doing and keep tabs on you while the decide whether or not they want you back.

Agreeing to be friends with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will NEVER get them back. In fact, the best thing to do in such a situation is refuse to remain friends at all… then pull out these 3 amazing moves that will make your ex miss you – and need you back – almost immediately.

Friendship is always a bad choice. Stick around as ‘friends’ for too long and your ex will never get to see you as a potential partner again, eliminating any possible chance of reversing your breakup and getting back together. The LAST thing you want is to fall into the Friend Zone. Especially if you’re trying to fix things and win your lover back.

4. Your Ex is Trying to Make You Jealous

When you see your former boyfriend or girlfriend out partying, whooping it up, or even grinding up against someone new for your benefit? It’s because they know you’re going to get jealous and they WANT you to feel that emotion.

Jealousy is your ex’s way of sticking it to you. It’s his or her way of making you want to chase them. Taking you back is one thing. Getting you to come crawling back is quite another. Because if you do that? They can restart the relationship on their terms, which usually means they’re going to abuse your love for them.

5. Your Ex is Suddenly Nice to You Again

One of the biggest signs that a breakup might be a mistake is when your ex boyfriend or girlfriend starts acting the way they did at the beginning. You know what I’m talking about: back to right before you were dating, when the two of you were still trying to woo or impress each other.

Being apart can also offer clarity. You’ll see things differently when you’re apart than when you’re together every day. You’ll start to miss things. Regret things you might’ve said or done. This will lead you to want to be nice to your ex, which in turn, can get your head spinning with the idea of wanting to date them again.

“Wow, I forgot it could be this good. Maybe it could be this good again.” – That sort of thing.

What to Do if You Want Your Ex Back

Getting back together after an unwanted breakup is nothing more than a series of taking the right steps. The only problem? All too often, most people make all the wrong moves.

They do this out of frustration, out of anger, and out of loneliness. Worst of all, they do it without realizing it’s having exactly the opposite effect: it’s driving an ex away rather than drawing them closer.

First, make sure you’re not making any of the 7 Biggest Breakup Mistakes. Commit even a few of these, and you can kiss your relationship goodbye forever.

Second, check out the amazing guide The Magic of Making Up. Author and relationship expert T.W. Jackson gives you a step-by-step, foolproof plan for making an ex need you back in their life again, no matter how long it’s been since the breakup.

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Texting Your Ex – 3 Fast Texts That Will Re-Open the Lines of Communication

It’s hard to stay silent after a breakup. Especially when so many connections still linger between you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

Texting Your Ex

Some of those connections will be emotional. No matter how a relationship ends, it always began with fire and passion. The start of every romance is filled with overwhelming amounts of attraction, and in time, strong emotional bonds and feelings are formed that are most times hard to break.

Other connections will be electronic, such as Facebook, Instagram, and especially texting.

In fact, more than 75% of all breakups don’t end at the phone; texting between those people continue, whether they end up getting back together with an ex or not.

If you’re in the situation where you’d like to fix your breakup, you’ll need to know HOW and WHEN to communicate with your ex. Calling at the wrong time, or saying the wrong thing, can often lead to disastrous results. You may have already experienced some of that, and your breakup already got off on the wrong foot.

Texting, just like calling, has its own set of rules and etiquettes. Should you still text with your ex? When is it okay to send a message? Even more important: what should you text to your ex when you want them back?

Below are three very quick ways you can use text-messaging to break the awkward silence after a breakup. Read them carefully first, and before doing anything else, make sure you know every single one of the rules and regulations of post-relationship texting, as these will help prepare you for your former lover’s response.

#1) The ‘I’m on Your Side Now’ Text

Most people who get dumped fight too hard too soon. Yes, you want the relationship back, but what you don’t understand is that right now? Your ex will do everything in his or her power to deflect any points you might make in that regard.

The longer you try to get your ex back, the worse things get. Your former lover will see you as pushing too hard, not taking no for an answer, and looking totally lame (and desperate) in the process.

What your ex doesn’t expect however, is for you to suddenly be on the same page as them. Which is why this first text works so well:

“Hey, I’m totally with you now on the whole breakup thing. We really ARE better off apart. Sorry it took so long for me to get it, but at least I did
before we started hating each other (LOL). Take it easy!”

This is essentially a brush-off. Your ex already rejected you as a partner, and this is your chance to counter-reject them. And now that you’re NOT fighting them tooth and nail to stay together with them? Your ex sees you as more of an equal – and even an ally – rather than someone beneath them trying to claw their way back to their level.

This text might seem pretty final, yet it’s anything but. Consider it the first stepping stone on the road to getting back together again.

Here’s a great video all about this opening move. Be sure to watch the whole thing, because it helps you better visualize what to do next.

#2) The Congratulatory or Happy Birthday Text

The only contact you should be making with your ex right now is welcomed contact. Anything else, and your ex will take it as you grasping desperately to get the relationship back (and you never, ever want to look desperate).

Congratulations is always welcome, especially if it’s something you know your ex has been trying to do for a long time. So if your ex graduated? That’s a great text to send him or her. If your ex got a recent promotion, or bought a new car, or something else happened that’s good in their life? Again, this is a good excuse to send them a very small, very simple:

“Hey, I heard you finally got promoted. Good deal! Hope everything’s great by you.”

This is an ice-breaker, and an innocent one as well. It also works with birthdays. And the longer you dated your boyfriend or girlfriend? The better this techniques works. You already shared big parts of your lives with each other, so it will only seem natural to share a quick congratulations on something that happened afterward.

#3) The ‘Familiarity’ Text Message

With this one, you want to use something you know your ex is familiar with. Preferably something you shared or loved together, while you were still dating.

Did you like a certain movie, and the sequel is coming out? How about music; did you attend a concert together, and that band is coming around again? A television series you always watched, and a new season is coming out?

“Hey, Survivor starts tonight! Had to tell you, in case you forgot to set your DVR!”

This is a conversation-starter. Chances are good your ex will ask what this season of Survivor is about, and who might be on it. If the conversation goes well, you might mention how much you miss watching it together. And if it goes very well, maybe your ex will invite you over – platonically or not – to enjoy it with them.

Basically, you need to pick something that was ‘yours’ together. Something cool and fun that will spark nothing but good memories of old times between you. Your goal is to put yourself back in your ex’s head, without really doing anything obvious. This right here is a great way to do it.

There are many other ways to get your ex’s attention again, even without the use of text messages. But again, you need to know when to do it… how to do it… before even thinking about making that first, tentative contact.

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4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Called

It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Hasn't Called

They don’t call. They don’t text.

Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.

Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.

So why won’t your ex call or text you?

What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?

The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.

And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.

So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.

You’re Still Resisting the Breakup

A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.

So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.

Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.

No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.

Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.

You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex

Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.

The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.

Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.

You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity

We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).

All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.

Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?

And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.

Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.

This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.

Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On

Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.

This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”

The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).

When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.

Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:

CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend

CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend

And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.

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Why Does My Ex Still Text Me?

In the old days, a breakup was a breakup. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and you’d go on with your life.

Anthony Malibu - Why Does my Ex Text Me

But in today’s digital age? There are still DOZENS of connections between you and your ex, even after the relationship ends. Photo albums, Facebook posts, Instagram messages, emails… and of course, the hundreds or even thousands of text messages you shared during the time when the two of you were dating.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Why would he or she be keeping up text-message contact, even though you’re no longer together?

Sometimes the answer is simple; your ex is still thinking about you. You’ve left their life, maybe for good, but you still haven’t left their train of thought.

Imagine how many times you texted your boyfriend or girlfriend over the course of your romance with them. Every morning, every night… all through the day. So even now, their daily routine of talking to you is pretty standard. It’s still keeping you ‘together’, at least on a text-based level.

Other times, the answer is a bit more complicated. That’s because there are always residual feelings and emotions to deal with any time two people break up.

These are the deep-seeded ties that bound you while you were in love with each other. The ones that were so powerful in the beginning. The ones that made it so that you couldn’t keep away from each other, and wanted to spend every minute of every day together, no matter what.

And these powerful connections? They stick around for a while. They just don’t go instantly away because someone said three simple works: “let’s break up”.

An ex will text you for a number of reasons. All of them are generally signs of interest. So if you’re looking to patch things up, or try and get back together again? The fact that your ex is staying on touch with you, even on your tiny little 4-inch cellphone screen? Yeah, it’s still a pretty good thing.

The 8 Big Reasons You’ll Receive Texts From Your Ex

Below you’ll find a list of reasons why your ex is still texting you. Some mean little in the grand scheme of things, but others are a lot more telling when it comes to how your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend truly feels about you.

Your Ex Misses You… Big Time

Let’s face it, when dating someone you get used to spending an awful lot of time together. You see each other, open up about your lives, and tell each other all about daily events. It’s something you’re accustomed to, and so is your ex.

This is why you might still get the occasional message, even after being apart. Your ex is simply thinking about you. He or she misses the contact, and is reaching out for something as simple as someone to talk to, or to bounce ideas off of, like in the old days.

He or She is Used to Contacting You Every Day

Texting back and forth all day, every day, is something you’ve both taken for granted during your relationship. So if you’ve been doing it for months, even years? It’s something you – as well as your ex – might still be tempted to do.

A lot of times people think this type of text-messaging is innocent: “Oh, I like to talk to him/her, but I don’t want to get back together or anything…”

In reality? ALL texting means something. There’s no “innocent” contact when it comes to your ex, unless you’re making that one final phone call to get your stuff back. An ex who is still hammering out a bunch of small-talk on your cellphone all day is an ex who isn’t yet ready to lose you completely.

Your Ex Wants to Be Friends After the Breakup

This reason is always a hidden agenda. Believe me when I say there’s no such thing as 100% strictly platonic friends “with an ex”. That doesn’t happen, not even in movies.

Once you’re intimate with someone, that’s IT. The dynamic between you is forever changed. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge.

Yet some people will continue deluding themselves that somehow, some way, they can be ‘friends’ with someone they dated. As if one person doesn’t still love the other person just a little bit more… tilting the scales so that the balance of power always denotes a breakup “winner” and a breakup “loser”.

If your ex wants to be friends it’s because he or she WANTS something. Most of the time, it’s information. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you in their life as a security blanket; something to hold onto in case being single doesn’t work out for them. Your “friendship” is a tool. A way for your ex to have his/her cake and eat it too.

Your Ex is Checking Up on You Through Your Phone

Other times, an ex will just want to see where you are. It’s comforting to know that you haven’t moved on, haven’t started dating, and didn’t meet anyone else since the two of you went your separate ways.

Why is this? Does your ex hate you? Do they want to see you fail? Well, no and yes. No, they don’t hate you. But yes, it’s human nature to want to see you worse off than when you were with them.

In short, your ex wants to be right. They would like to believe that breaking up with you was the right move, so they use text-messages to “keep in touch” under the guise of innocent contact. Which, of course, it’s not.

He or She Drunk Texted You

Drunk-calling has now been replaced by drunk texting. This is when it’s late at night, your ex has been drinking, and his or her thoughts inevitably turn toward you.

This is a HUGE SIGN OF INTEREST! Being drunk, your defenses are always down. That’s when your true feelings rise to the surface, unhindered by any inhibitions or walls you may have been putting up.

This means your ex secretly thinks about you a lot more than you think. The alcohol acts as a catalyst for contact; rather than refrain from calling or texting you while they were sober, your drunk exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is free to do whatever they want… and blame it on the alcohol later on.

Your Ex is Nostalgic About Your Past History Together

Know why people get back together? Because the beginning of every relationship is AMAZING.

Think about that. Go back to those first few weeks (a.k.a. the ‘honeymoon phase’) of your relationship and tell me it wasn’t the best thing in the whole world. Tell me the feelings weren’t explosively powerful. Tell me the sex wasn’t Rock Star levels of Godliness.

When your ex is lonely, he or she will think back to those early times. The good times, before all the bullshit. Before all the fighting and arguing and stupid jealousy that probably broke you up.

Fixing a breakup is all about bringing these feelings back again. There are some really great methods and techniques for making your ex remember how much they really love being with you, if you’re willing to sit down and learn them.

Your Ex Wants to Hook Up, Meet Up, Have Sex, Etc…

This one is the Booty Call. The unapologetic “hey, let’s hang out” text that ends up in bed with the two of you rolling around naked. And hey, that’s okay. Sex is actually a big part of getting back together.

Take this text for what it is; your ex is still physically attracted to you. Whether or not that leads to a more emotional and permanent connection is still up in the air, but at least you’re moving in the right direction.

Your Ex is Feeling You Out on the Subject of Getting Back Together

In the final stages of a breakup, right before you get back together again, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend will try and gauge your feelings. They’d like to know that if they suggested giving your romance another chance, they’re not going to be rejected or shot down.

That’s where this text comes in. Your partner will usually be more overt about his or her intentions here, asking factual questions about where you are, how you’ve been doing (emotionally), and whether or not you’re dating someone else. You’ll also get “do you miss me?” and “do you remember when we used to XYZ?” a lot, which is his or her way of trying to remind you of how good you were together.

A former lover who gets nostalgic or reminiscent about the past is a lover who wants to create future times with you. So yeah, your ex is probably about to ask you out again. Roll with it, if that’s what you want, and encourage such contact. Then see where it goes.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

In the end, there are lots of signs and signals your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will give off when they’re showing interest in you again. Spotting these signs, and then knowing what to do about them? Well, that’s the tricky part.

Why does me ex text me? Truth is, it’s an extension of your past relationship. Breakups HURT. Messaging back and forth can alleviate that pain, even if just for a little while.

All said, timing is everything when it comes to reconciling. You need to make the right moves, at the right times, while avoiding all of the wrong ones.

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3 Important Texts You Can Send to Your Ex

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear: texting your ex during the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup is almost always a bad idea. There are some very big reasons you need to leave your ex alone during this stage, so if you haven’t read them already, check them out by going here.

Messages to Send Your Ex

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

The most desired of all communication, when you’re trying to get back together, is any form of contact initiated by your ex. The fact that your former boyfriend or girlfriend is calling or texting you, rather than the other way around, shows a lot more in the way of serious interest.

There are ways of getting your ex to call or text you. Some are fairly obvious. Others are a lot more subtle.

All of them however, can put you back in the driver’s seat. You take back a lot of that missing power and control when your ex is forced to make that extremely coveted first move.

Yet before even that can happen, you’ll need to use these emotional bonding techniques to make your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend MISS you first. When your ex misses you, ANY contact you make with them will be a positive, welcomed connection. This makes your overall chances of getting back together a lot more successful in the end.

Sometimes though, you have to make the first move. There are times when it’s necessary to reach out to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to get things moving in the right direction.

If this is where you’re at, you can often break the ice with a simple text-message. Here are three examples of texts you can send to your ex when you’re looking to reconnect:

The ‘I Agree With the Breakup Text’

If you’ve been fighting the breakup or trying just about everything to get your ex to go back out with you, this is a good one to start with. Essentially you’re coming off as no longer interested in dating this person, but would rather carry on a platonic friendship with them.

You’re going to give them a text they can’t possibly argue with. Something like:

“Hey, what’s up? Listen, you were right about us being better off apart. Sorry it took me a while to get it! Anyway, we were good friends before we started dating, and it would suck to lose that friendship just because we can’t be together. Let me know if you want to get lunch or something, so we can catch up!”

This is a non-threatening, non-confrontational way of accepting the situation for what it is; you’re no longer together, but at the same time you’re looking to save whatever pre-dating relationship (i.e. friendship) you used to have.

This isn’t saying you’re going to be best buddies with your ex – that’s never a good idea. But you’ll make them think you want to be friends in order to jockey for better position when you DO make the bigger moves (step 5 and step 6) later on down the line.

The ‘Nostalgia Trigger’ Text Message

Think back to your past relationship. Where did you go? What did you do? Try to envision which special places or times or even sports teams you shared with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and pick one that’s really GOOD.

You need to grab hold of one he or she will remember. One your ex will associate with you. For example, let’s say you went to the NY Jets games a few times together, and always had an awesome time. At that point you can send a text like:

“Hey, did you see that one-handed catch the other night? That happened
RIGHT where we were sitting last January!”

You can substitute anything here, as long as it’s relevant.

“Holy shit, did you notice [NAME OF A RESTAURANT] burned/closed down the other day? I was just thinking of all the times we went there together!”

“Did you see Terminator 8 yet? It was insane! What was the name of that theater
where we went to see Terminator 7?”

Basically, that sort of thing. You pick something you know was fun or important for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and hopefully something relevant to you relationship. A holiday or event you went to. A favorite band that happens to be back in town again. Then you make an innocent comment on it, in the form of a text message, and follow the reply up with something like “By the way, how’ve you been? Things cool with you?”

The ‘Congratulatory’ or ‘Checking up on Someone’ Text

This is really two different texts, but with the same basic flavor. For this one, you need to pick an event that happened recently in your ex’s life. Maybe they graduated. Maybe they got a new job. Choose something positive, and then text them with:

“Hey, congrats! I heard you were accepted to Cornell! That’s totally awesome!”

You can also use this method to check up on an existing situation in your ex’s family or circle of friends. For this one, you’ll need to have dated them a little longer, so you have a much better clue as to what’s going on in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s social life.

“Just wanted to know how everything worked out for your mom. Is she out
of the hospital yet? Tell her I hope she feels better.”

Again, you want to deliver the message in such a way that you’re almost making small talk. Only it’s not a pointless “Sup?” text, which is the lamest possible thing you can send. You’d be surprised how many people think they can start up a new conversation with something as simple as that, and still expect a positive result.

What to Do if You’re Stuck on How to Make Contact

Sometimes it seems things go awkwardly no matter how you communicate with your ex. You might feel like you’re bothering them, or that they’re really not that interested in hearing from you at all.

When this is the case, you need to up your game. You need to put some new weapons in your arsenal, rather than fight with the same old dull ones you keep trying to no avail.

Text Your Ex Back System

Text Your Ex Back contains some ground-breaking, next-level stuff.

It’s a complete step-by-step SYSTEM showing you how to break the ice, make contact, and continue to communicate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend on only the most positive levels.

Learn what to do… what to say… and exactly WHEN you should be saying it. The system teaches you how to trigger deep-seeded emotional attachments already within your ex’s mind and heart, and then use those attachments to re-generate his or her original feelings for you again.

If you’re looking for the ultimate guide on what to say after a breakup, look no further. Check out the many sharp tools within Text Your Ex Back, and get started right away on the one and only CORRECT path to reconciliation.

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Contacting Your Ex Boyfriend – When and How to Do It

Breaking up is about being apart. This makes you miss each other, but it also creates huge gaps between you that can make future contact pretty awkward.

Anthony Malibu - When and How to Contact Your Ex

Very often you won’t know when or how to get back in touch with your ex. Maybe you’ve even tried, and your attempts at keeping in touch have been met with resistance.

If your boyfriend is cold or callous when he talks to you, it can be emotionally devastating. It can make you feel like there’s no more hope; as if he’s moved on already, and there’s nothing more you can do.

At the same time, you’ll feel like not contacting him is even worse. You’ll feel him slipping away, as if he’ll forget about you more and more as each day goes by without talking, texting, or seeing him.

There’s a 6 Step-Process to Get Back With an Ex. One of those steps is the NO CONTACT phase, where you pull away from your ex long enough to make him miss you, need you, and eagerly want to hear from you again.

But when it’s time to get back in touch? There are a variety of ways you can make contact with your ex boyfriend again. Here are just a few of them:

Facebook or Instagram Contact

Of all the ways to reopen the lines of communication, this one is rock bottom. You really want to avoid contacting your ex through social media if at all possible, because it’s one of the most impersonal ways of reconnecting.

Essentially, you’re reaching here, and desperately so. Worse, your boyfriend can easily ignore this attempt at contacting him by simply doing nothing. This will leave you wondering if he even got your message at all.

Texting Your Ex After the Breakup

Again this is impersonal, and because you sent thousands of text-messages to each other over the course of your relationship, this will get lost in a sea of ‘whatever’. Texting your ex when you haven’t seen or talked to him in a long while is a huge copout. You’re showing your insecurity and lack of confidence; you’re sweating him so much you can’t even carry on a conversation with this guy. So why the hell would he want to date you?

Now if your ex texts you, you’ll need to know EXACTLY how to respond. In that case, check out this video on what to text your exboyfriend when he does reach out to you.

Emailing Your Ex Boyfriend

Marginally better than texting, this is still not the best idea. The bad news is he can ignore the email as if he never got it, leaving you in total limbo. The good news however, is that you get to craft a longer message. You aren’t limited to a certain number of words or characters, like on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. You can really pour your heart out here. But should you?

Remember, when getting back in touch after a breakup you always want first contact to be short. You need to get in quick, keep things light and positive, and get out of the conversation on your own terms.

Here’s a complete guide on what to say when you make first contact with your ex boyfriend. Also included here, and even more important? What NOT to say to him if you still want him back!

Calling Your ExBoyfriend on the Phone

Here’s where you really up the ante on winning him back. Because until you’re willing to actually talk to your boyfriend, in a real live conversation? He’s never going to take your attempts at reconciliation seriously.

Up until you call him, he’ll see your texts and emails as signs of interest. He may be flattered by these things, but for the most part he’ll brush them off. In short, you’re giving up control. And you don’t have very much control to begin with, if he was the one who initiated the breakup.

There are certain times that are optimal for calling or contacting your ex. Know what these are, because when it comes to making him receptive to taking you back? Timing is everything.

Physically Seeing or Running Into Your Ex

There are two approaches to seeing your exboyfriend here. One is to just flat out show up and talk to him. And this one is risky.

Again, you don’t want to force your boyfriend into anything unwanted. He needs to NEED to hear from you again, or even see you, before you start making any moves. This requires him missing you first, so you must go through the no contact portion of the breakup reversal process. All of the steps are vital, and you can’t skip anything.

The second approach is to ‘accidentally’ show up somewhere your ex is going to be. This could require some reconnaissance (through friends, family, or even social media) but you absolutely must not let him know that you intentionally came to see him. This would look desperate, and if he smells that desperation it’s something that will immediately set you back to square ONE.

How Can I Get My Ex to Call Me?

Great question, I’m glad you asked it. Because as difficult as it is to initiate contact with someone who dumped you, the whole situation becomes MUCH easier when your boyfriend is the one who actually calls you.

There are several ways to accomplish this, and not all of them will fit your own particular breakup scenario. Read up on them and learn which one might be right for you. Then go for it, but only after you’ve gone NO CONTACT for the required period of time.

Ultimately contact is necessary for ANY reconciliation. Never be afraid of it. Never be too timid, or laid back, and fearful to make some moves of your own. Your boyfriend isn’t going to wait forever, and neither are the girls who might already be getting in line to date him.

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My Ex Still Answers My Texts – What Does it Mean?

One of the more confusing aspects of breaking up is an ex who keeps in touch with you afterward. Especially when that person acts as if it’s perfectly normal to stay in touch, keep up past levels of communication, or even ‘stay friends’ afterward.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Still Texting You

For your ex, this is a comfortable situation. He or she still gets the security of still talking to you, which is an advantage when it comes to letting go. It always hurts less to let someone go over a longer period of time rather than just cut ties all at once, which is why most people will keep up some level of contact even after breaking up.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Are they just looking out for you? Trying to be friendly?

Or is there some other underlying reason for them to keep texting you after breaking things off?

Well first, a lot can be said by the way the two of you broke up. In the case where the breakup was mutual (or at least you agreed that it was), texting each other might be an extension of habit. You’ve been talking all through your relationship, and since you parted ways with no really bad feelings, staying in contact seems fairly natural.

In other cases though, when an ex is still texting you? It’s probably because he or she has some unfinished business.

How to Use Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re the one who got dumped, obviously you’d like to fix the situation. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might prompt you to continue texting with them purely for your own interests. You want to keep talking with them. You don’t want them to lose interest. You love them, and would hate to lose them, so you’re willing to hang on to any last scrap of the former relationship no matter how big or small.

In truth however, constantly texting with your ex is counterproductive to getting them back. Because you can’t fix your breakup until:

  • Your ex misses you.
  • Your ex needs you.
  • Your ex sees you as attractive again.

Those three things. That’s it. That’s all it takes to get back together again.

Now getting your ex to miss you, right off the bat, is a huge problem if you’re still carrying on a textual relationship. By not taking yourself out of his or her life, you’re not creating a hole where you used to be. You’re still there. You’re only a few buttons away at any given time, and that knowledge gives your ex the security to continue being without you. Because in many ways, they still have you.

If your ex doesn’t miss you, they’ll never need you back. If you never go away, they never have to experience a life without you in it. So right away you’ve got two strikes going for you.

Finally, your ex broke up with you for a reason. Maybe even a few reasons. But whatever those were, they added up to the same thing: the romance lost something along the way. Whatever attracted your boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place wore off, and this was a combination of physical looks, emotional attachments, and personality traits that made them interested in you.

When you keep texting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll see it as needy. They’ll see it as a sign that you need them more than they need you. Especially if you’re answering the texts very quickly, or flirting with your responses.

Think of it this way; we all want someone desirable. Someone who’s cool and attractive to the point where they’re almost unattainable. Capturing that person’s interest is a huge part of the courtship process. Getting them to like and appreciate you is your ultimate goal.

So when you’re already doing these things? When your ex already has your undivided attention? There’s no chase. You’ve eliminated the courtship process and gone straight to “hey, here I am, take me when you want me”, and at the same time, you’ve given your ex no particular reason to still want you back. Nothing has really changed. Even the texts have been the same.

To win your ex back, you need to break this cycle. You need to withdraw, shake things up, and let your ex know he or she stands to really lose you – and for good too – if they don’t immediately start chasing you again.

Your first step? Taking Away your Ex’s Safety Net. Because once you do this, the breakup roles are entirely reversed. The power your ex took when they broke things off shifts back to you, and you can then use that power to make them want you again.

You also learn tons more about texing your ex (and how you can use text-messages to lure them back), by watching this video. It’s a great tool for those trying to re-attract an ex boyfriend or girlfriend strictly using text messages.

But for now, stop texting your ex. Don’t answer for a while and see what happens. Some of the best advice you can get involves turning your phone off, putting it in a drawer, and going out and having a great time WITHOUT your ex (and without your cellphone). Your LIFE is the thing that makes you attractive to someone. Not your text-messages.

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