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Boyfriend Wants Space? Here are 3 Things You MUST DO

“I just want some space…”

Is that what he said? Or maybe he worded it differently. “Maybe we should take some time apart?” Or the dreaded: “I just need time to think?”

boyfriend-wants-space

It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend said it, he always means the same thing: we’re about to break up.

Unless, of course, you know EXACTLY what to do.

Right here, right now, your boyfriend has just checked you into relationship limbo. He’s effectively saying “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

So you begged. You pleaded. You told him you’d “change”. In the end you let him know that you really don’t want time apart, but if he really needs it, you’ll give it to him. Right?

Well, that’s about the worst possible thing you could’ve done.

Understand something: when a guy asks for “space” what he really wants is permission to date other girls. What he’s really saying here is “hey, stick around for a while and don’t go anywhere… but at the same time, I’m free to look for other people.”

If you’re not looking to break up with your boyfriend, and you want to get your relationship back on track? You’re going to need to do three things. Here they are:

Refuse the Whole “Time Apart” Bullshit

Your boyfriend offers a time-out from your relationship, or needs space, or wants time to think… but rather than be the good little girlfriend who’s going to give him exactly that, you’re going to do the opposite. You tell him:

“No, sorry. I don’t do ‘space’. If you want to break up, fine, we’ll break up. But I’m not half-assing it, and I’m not waiting around.”

This is exactly what your guy doesn’t want to hear. The fact that he might lose you during the whole “time off” thing is going to freak him out, mainly because he thinks he can control you during this temporary breakup.

Putting your boyfriend on his back foot is the best way to make him realize you as VALUABLE. He’ll never be forced to really see you that way unless you respect yourself enough not to fall for this crap when he first pulls it.

Pre-Emptively Break Up with Him

At this point, the best thing to do is get pissed. Turn to him and say:

“Know what? If you’re really not sure about this whole thing, then I’m not either. Maybe we should just put an end to it completely, and both move on with our lives.”

This is going to scare your boyfriend right down to his balls. Why? Because he DOESN’T WANT THIS. He wanted a nice cushy little “break” where you kept calling and kept texting and kept telling him you loved him. Instead, you just broke up with him… throwing him for a complete loop.

Walk Away While You Have the Upper Hand

And after you tell him you want a breakup? WALK AWAY. Don’t look back, don’t answer your phone, and don’t respond to his text messages.

Your boyfriend will be left with the feeling that he really messed up. He screwed things big time, and he got exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

Most of all, he now stands to actually LOSE you. The fact that you’re not going to be his girlfriend anymore and he might lose you to someone else is going to create instant value in his eyes. Suddenly you’re a commodity he stands to be without, and he’s not going to want that.

Remember: your boyfriend doesn’t want a breakup. He wants a “temporary break”. This is a cowardly way of trying to keep stringing you along (which is what he wants), and now it just backfired in his face.

Now, if the whole “I need some space” thing already happened, and you missed your chance to do these three things? That’s okay. There’s still a backup plan.

First, look for the 7 signs he still loves you. These are easy-to-spot signals your boyfriend will give off when he’s really not ready to lose you.

Beyond that, there’s this One Opening Move guaranteed to make your ex almost immediately want you back! Make sure you do this one early though, because the longer you wait the harder it will be to pull it off.

In the end, NEVER accept the whole “I need space” excuse. Sitting around and waiting for your boyfriend to get back to you is almost always going to lead to a permanent breakup.

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3 Things to Say (and NOT Say) When Talking to Your EX

Nervous around your ex? Not sure how to talk to them?

talking-to-your-ex

Not knowing what to say – and how to act – around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a very common thing. And if you’re still trying to repair your broken relationship? It’s especially critical that you know EXACTLY what to say (and not say!)

Think about how awkward this is. One minute you’re totally in love and able to say or do anything to each other… and the next minute it’s totally hands off. You go from being lovers to being nothing. You go from being best friends to being nothing more than casual acquaintances.

In some cases you might even be avoiding your ex because you don’t know how to act around them. And this can lead to even more awkwardness. More distance between you.

First, understand that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is just as uncomfortable as you are. Stop putting them up on some pedestal where they’re in total control and you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Do that, and you will be nothing but an emotional wreck, because you’re psyching yourself out before you even get started.

To win back the respect – and ultimately the love – of your ex, you’ll need to do one thing: make yourself desirable again in their eyes. Because at one time? They were head-over-heels ready to date you. And now they’re not.

You do this by maintaining CONTROL. I can’t express this enough: if you give control over to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, then they – and they alone – are the one who’s responsible for whether or not you get back together again.

Be Sure to Hype Yourself Up

When seeing your ex again for the first time, you should seem absolutely excited. No, not excited to see them. Excited for your life in general.

The more fun you seem to be having, the more jealous your boyfriend or girlfriend will be of you. That’s because it’s human nature to want to see you NOT having fun without them.

Making sure you’re totally pumped and doing great and having a kickass time WITHOUT THEM is the perfect way to set your ex on his or her back foot. Right off the bat they’ll feel uncomfortable – especially if they’re the one who initiated the breakup – simply because you seem to be doing so well without them.

Talk About What You’re Doing – But Be Mysterious

Chances are your ex will ask you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, etc… That’s normal. But what your ex is really doing is trying to gauge just how much you really miss them.

Your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you upset, mopey, distraught… so make sure you talk about all the cool things you’ve been up to, even if you have to embellish a bit. Go places and do things that are fun to talk about, so the next time you see or talk to or even text-message with your ex, you can mention these things to make them jealous.

At the same time however, never give them too much information. The more details that are left out, the more that’s left to your ex’s imagination. Remember: you want to create longing and desire again. You need to be cool, fun, hip and mysterious. They should want to know more about you, which will lead them to want you again.

Tell Your Ex it’s Good to See Them Again

Most people avoid their exes like the plague after a breakup. And when they do see them? They avoid eye contact and try not to converse at all.

To win back this person’s admiration and respect, you need to face up to them. Smile. Laugh. Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s good to see them again. And then?

Walk away.

To make someone need you back in their life, you have to create a void where they used to be. By going away – even if it’s by not answering the phone or text-messages – you’re creating a giant gap in this person’s life where they’re used to hearing from you.

Believe it or not, your ex relies on you, even after the breakup. By taking away that safety net, you’re causing them to doubt their decision to break up with you in the first place — especially if you’re smiling and saying “hey, how are you?” when you see them rather than avoid eye contact and slink away.

Three Things NOT to Say to Your Ex

In talking with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, there are 7 common mistakes that will always drive them away. LEARN WHAT THESE ARE! Because if you commit more than two or three of them, you might as well not even try to win them back at all.

That said, there are three things to NEVER do when talking about things with your ex:

• DON’T BE MISERABLE. Your ex won’t feel pity for you. In fact, seeing you miserable is the one thing that will make them realize they did the right thing in breaking up. And that’s because it certainly seems like you need them a lot more than they need you.

• DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BREAK. Nothing says desperation like constantly bringing up the breakup. Whether you’re trying to reverse the breakup or play the blame game, you can’t gain any ground this way.

• DON’T APOLOGIZE. Yes, even if you’re the one who was wrong! Apologizing once again ratifies that your ex is right and you’re wrong. Which makes staying broken up a forgone conclusion!

If you want to learn the complete, step by step process to getting back together, make sure you read it through completely before trying anything. That’s because usually? You only get one good shot at a reconciliation. One good “listen” on your ex’s part.

Everything after that is an uphill climb.

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The REAL Reason He’s Still Texting You After the Breakup

Confused by the fact your ex boyfriend still texts you? Don’t be. This is one of the most common things that can happen after a breakup.

texting-after-breakup

And it’s also very, very telling.

Look at it this way: if your ex is still sending texts beyond the day he broke up with you, chances are good he’s not 100% ready to let you go.

Any guy looking to ditch you forever is never going to do something that might be construed as leading you on.

Why? Because, to be brutally honest, he’s trying to get rid of you.

That’s why texting after a breakup is so important. It tells a lot about how your exboyfriend feels. It can also be a big indication as to whether or not he wants you back.

The first thing to look for are the 7 Signs He’s Still Interested. If you spot more than 3 of these, your relationship might be salvageable purely on the basis that you ex isn’t ready to move on.

It’s All About Control

First and foremost, text-messaging you is one way for your ex boyfriend to maintain control.

Yes, he broke up with you. Yes, you can “technically” do whatever you want. But as long as YOU think there’s still a chance of getting back together (and hell, you still want to get back together), you’re not going to screw that up by going out and dating someone else.

Your ex knows this. That’s why he’ll use text-messages as a method of control. A way of showing you just enough interest to keep stringing you along… but not enough interest that you’re back together as a couple.

It’s All About Spying on You

Texting you is also a way for your ex to keep you from seeing other people. Simple, seemingly-innocent texts such as “hey, what did you do today?” are actually your exboyfriend’s way of spying on you. He’s going to know if you’re out doing something he doesn’t want you to do. He’ll even use guilt texts to keep you from doing stuff, with the vague promise of “maybe one day… someday… we’ll get back together”.

Think about it. Has your ex said stuff like:

“I’ll always love you”

and

“We’re definitely meant to be together… maybe just not right now.”

This is because he’s stringing you along. He wants you to stay away so he can do what he wants (and possibly date other girls), but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to go away entirely.

In short, he wants to keep an eye on you. You know, just in case his next relationship fails… or he gets lovesick about your previous romance and suddenly wants you back.

What Does it Mean When he Drunk Texts You

There are two times when your former boyfriend is at his weakest: late at night when he’s alone, and when he’s drunk.

At night, being lonely, your ex will start reminiscing about the good times you shared together. He might send you a “hey” text message, or something more meaningful (and honest) like “thinking about you”. Either way, he is thinking about you. And if you want him back, that’s a good thing.

Drunk texts are a similar matter. When your ex is inebriated his guard is down. This allows his true feelings to come out; often he’ll suppress his real feelings and/or love for you because he’s trying to be “tough” or keep the breakup going. But when he’s drunk? That wall falls away, and his heart is a lot more exposed.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

If you don’t want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM. Anything you do or say — no matter how innocent — will be construed as interest.

If you actually do want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM! At least not right away. Creating space and unavailability is the first step in creating longing again. And you can’t get him back until he actually longs for an needs you.

Now, there’s also a step-by-step blueprint for Texting Your Ex Back. This is basically a series of text-messages you can send him that will, if you time it right, actually make him want YOU.

Learn about these texts if you’re interested in reversing your breakup. And remember, no matter what: texting after the breakup ALWAYS means something!

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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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