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My Boyfriend Says He Lost Feelings For Me – How Do I Get Him Back?

Hi Anthony!

First of all, I enjoy reading your articles about how to get the exboyfriend back. It makes a lot of sense. But that exboyfriend of mine is saying to me, “I’m way down the road,” and also, “I have lost feelings for you.” The reasons he left we could fix together, for sure, but he never talked about how unhappy he was in the relationship before the breakup. We just abruptly broke up. Here are the reasons for the breakup: My obsession with rescuing animals, (no time for him), religious issue(my saying grace over the food whenever), drinking/partying issue (can\’t drink much, diabetic), no sex issue. That’s it.

He said he lost sexual attraction for me. Since then I have stop rescuing, gotten rid of all my animals except 4 cats. I told him that. I have a lot of time for him. I pleaded with him to give me another chance. He was negative about it. Said he lost all feelings for me. That we should go find better people to be with.

We never argued, and always went on fabulous vacations, had a blast every time. I have given him his space, but have sent him emails that he has totally ignored. His ex wife who I\’m friends with told me that he has moved on, and I should too. I even sent him an invite out for a drink, but he didn\’t respond at all. Would you method work on him? How can I work my way back? I love him. Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Margery!

Sorry to hear about the problems you’ve been having with your boyfriend! It’s always sad to hear about stuff like this. You sound like you’ve been a good girlfriend and you’ve done just about everything possible to keep the relationship going, only to have him continually reject your attempts at fixing things.

It sounds a lot like he is losing interest, but it’s hard to really know until you’ve actually let him go yourself. So far you haven’t done that. Your constant attention to him (calling, going to his hockey game, inviting him out for drinks) is a constant reminder that you’re still there, waiting for him, wanting him, ready to take him back the moment he gets bored or feels like he needs you. Only he won’t feel like he needs you until he turns, looks to see where you are, and finds out that you’ve already gone away.

When’s the last time you talked to him? Emailed or texted him? What happens if you stop all contact – does he eventually call or email you? The fact he kissed you before his hockey game may have been a good sign, but I need to know more about how long he lets a lack of contact ‘go’ before he starts missing you or needing to hear from you.

I find it sad that you’ve changed so many of your basic traits for him. Rescuing animals is an amazing thing (I’m a big dog-lover), and you gave it up for him. I couldn’t imagine giving up pets for anyone! And although I’m not too religious, I would never begrudge anyone who is, much less someone who likes to say grace. Seems like you’ve bent over backward for him.

Give me a shout and let me know how things are going. I’m pulling for you!
Anthony

Breakup Advice Separator

Thanks Anthony for your reply.

I saw him on Dec 2nd. That was when I went out to his house to take Christmas gifts to his sisters. I spent half a day, and hockey game that night. He let me touch him, and snuggle with him on the couch, even though he told me that afternoon that he had lost all feelings for me. That’s when he called me darling, pumpkin, baby. He ask me to go to Walmart with him to get more lights. Then I went to his hockey game that evening. We kissed each other before he went out on the ice for good luck. I watched his entire game. After the game and he cleaned up, I waited for him. I said that I’ll go get my clothes and spend the night with him. He said why don’t we wait another night that we don’t have to work. Said okay. He walked me to the car, and we both kissed again and hugged. I left, and called his sister that lives with him and told her I thought we were getting back together. But, when he got home, she said she asked him if we were getting back together, and he said no, and she said I told her about spending the night, and he said he didn’t tell me that. Next day I got the bad email from him of not getting back together as before. What changed him?

I haven’t spoken to him since. But I did email him, send a hand written to his house, and sent the nude picture of me on text. That all was last month too. He hasn’t called me at all. Neither has he responded to any of the emails I sent him.

For 10 years he phoned me every day when he is on the road. He travels weekly for his work, leaving on Monday and returning on Thursday. Thursday night he plays hockey, Saturday morning, and Sunday night. We get together in between. Also, I had the animals to take care of. Even a blind cat I fed everyday down the street for 2 years until I had to put it to sleep.
He would say that I need to get rid of some of those____cats. I even had turtles that I rescued also to feed. Big responsibility. That was the only thing I heard him complain about.

I’m back to the no contact rule. I have cut of even his sisters, and his ex wife from talking with them or emailing them. They feel really bad for me. We were all close, and enjoyed each others company. Do you think there is hope. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose him for good.

How do I rekindle the spark between us? Anthony, you are the expert in these matters.

He lives 40 minutes away from me. I don’t know if he misses me, cause when we broke up he was going places, like Las Vegas with his buddies, trying to stay away from Houston. He went to Cancun with some friends and their 20 yr old daughters/friends. I was suppose to go on that trip with him too. But he didn’t include me because we had already broken up. What do you suggest I do that would get him interested. Make him jealous?

Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Sounds like you’re doing the right things right now.

The last few months have been full of holidays. This means he’s been around people, family, etc… You said yourself that he vacationed a lot as well. All of this means he’s had zero to no time alone, and that translates to little to no time missing you.

Perhaps in the coming weeks he’ll miss you more, simply because everything dies down. There are no more holidays until Easter (except for Valentine’s day, which is when he’ll certainly think of you) and he’ll be home more.

Cutting yourself off from his family is a good move. Cutting off all contact, including Facebook, etc… is a GREAT one. If you’re still friends on Facebook, I’d suggest disconnecting that tie. As hard as it might be, it’ll make him nervous that maybe, just maybe, you’re finally moving on.

Do you think he’s got someone else? I don’t mean to get too personal, but how often was the sex between you? If he’s gone from having a constant sex life to having none at all, I’d wonder if maybe he’s not seeing another girl. But if there was little to no sex toward the end of the relationship to begin with, that’ll make it a bit harder for him to miss you.

In the end you’ve done what he asked (with the animals). When you DO start talking to him again, make sure he realizes you’ll have a lot more time for him. But don’t make it sound like you’re desperate to be with him either. Doing your own thing – and yes, perhaps making him jealous – is the best thing you can do at this point.

Breakup Advice Separator

Unfortunately we haven’t had sex for quite some time (3 years), hard to believe. But, he never overtly said to me, “hey what’s wrong here?” I really didn’t think he wanted any cause he never said anything. He told me the last time I saw him that he hinted to me. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the move. He didn’t communicate to me that he was unhappy with our relationship at any time. He could be seeing someone now, and that is why he is ignoring me. I guess I could try to make him jealous with going out with someone else.

And I will disconnect his family from my face book. I have already unfriended him. He has not blocked me from his face book either.

I will keep you posted. Do you think that I have lost him forever? I pray that he comes back around.

Breakup Advice Separator

Well, the no sex thing is tough. Not saying it’s anyone’s fault in particular, but if he hasn’t touched you in that long he might not be interested in sex at all anymore.

Beyond sex however, there are many other methods of attachment. Did you ever live together? It’s hard to cut someone out of your life that you’ve been seeing and talking to every day. He wouldn’t just do that without another person to make the transition more seamless, which is why I think maybe he’s got someone else. Even if not physically, mentally and emotionally.

As cool as it is that you’re friends with his family, and even his ex wife, those casual everyday relationships are stacking the deck against you. The more you talk to them – even about innocent little things – the more he’ll hear about it (and the less he’ll need to hear from you).

Right now his ex-wife is saying stuff like “Oh, she’s still hung up on you… poor thing. I told her you’ve moved on and she should too.” Translated to him: this girl isn’t going anywhere ANYTIME soon. Which means he can pretty much blow you off and do whatever he wants, knowing he can get you back anytime.

To fix this situation, you need to cut off all possible information your ex boyfriend could get about you: friends, family, co-workers, etc… This will create distance. Mystery. Suddenly you’ve disappeared, and he doesn’t know where you are. He’s not sure whether or not he can get you back, and that leads to something extremely important (possibly even most important): him second-guessing himself.

While you’re doing this, you need to go out and have the best possible time without him. When and if he does hear anything about you, it should be that you were out laughing and having a great time. He should hear – through the grapevine and not directly – that you’ve been going places and doing things and NOT ASKING ABOUT HIM AT ALL. And yes, if you happen to go out on a few dates with someone else? That’s certain to spark jealousy, which in turn will spark his interest. You don’t have to throw yourself at the first guy you see, or even get serious about anyone… just going out casually with a guy or guy(s) should be enough – when coupled with a complete lack of contact on your part – to let him know he’d better do one of two things: step up and get back in touch with you OR face the possibility of losing you for good.

I’m not entirely sure you’ve lost him forever. He’s gone quite some time without initiating contact, but then again, you’ve been the one contacting him. Calling him. Sending him invites and photos. Those things might be enough to feed his ego and make him strong. Take them away and he might weaken, only time will tell. You just have to be absolutely extreme in your no contact. Even the smallest “most innocent” email or text could break weeks of silence.

Let’s see what happens on Valentine’s day. If you’re completely silent between then and now, I wonder if he won’t at least send you an e-card or email mentioning that he’s thinking about you. What do you think?

Breakup Advice Separator

Anthony, You are great! Thank you so much.

I really appreciate your guidance. God knows I need it.

The sex thing, well when I went out to his house the second time, and we were setting on the couch close together he let me put my hand almost on his leg very close to his you know what without taking his hand away either. I was surprised because in the near past he would move my hand away. And remember the night of the hockey game we talked about spending the night together, and then he changed his mind the next day.

I’m going to unfriend his relatives on my face book too like you said would help me. I never lived with him. We talked about marriage, but he didn’t want all those animals around him he said in his house. He’s not an animal person either.

I don’t think he would send me a Valentine. He always sent me flowers at work or just give them to me on the weekend when I would see him. If he’s dating someone then he will probably get them the Valentine. I need to find out if he is dating someone. Thanks again so much, Margery

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Want Your Girlfriend Back? Don’t Make ANY of These 4 Mistakes!

The road to getting back together can be long or short. Unfortunately, it can also be a marathon.

Anthony Malibu - Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you get too eager or too desperate, your actions can drive your girlfriend completely away. At best, she’ll be annoyed with you. At worst, it can change the way she sees you forever… in some very negative ways.

Again, fixing a breakup is often about what you don’t do. Some guys are so eager to take action – any kind of action – that they’ll trip over their own feet in an effort to fix things that aren’t even broken.

Below are a list of horrendous mistakes you can make while trying to convince a girlfriend to take you back. Make just a few of these blunders, and you’ll lose any shot you have of regaining your old relationship.

Sulking, Crying, Acting Like The World is Ending

Some guys wear their heart on their sleeve. And you know what? Sappy movies, bad TV shows, and Cosmopolitan have done their level best to convince guys to be more emotional. That’s it’s okay to cry, or show their softer side, because girls LOVE that sort of thing.

But nope. Not after a breakup.

There’s no planet in this universe where pity actually works. All the crying in the world isn’t going to make her want you again, and in fact, it’ll make you look like a weak-willed douche. The kind of pansy ANY girl shies away from dating, because that type of person isn’t even a man. You’re a boy at best, crying and sulking and trying to trick your girlfriend into feeling sorry enough for you that she wants to end your pain by agreeing to go back out with you.

Sulking is the WORST thing you can do after a break. It’s a huge turnoff. Your friends, your family – maybe they’ll feel a bit sorry for you, but when it comes to your girlfriend you’re basically telling her “I am no longer boyfriend material.”

Getting Angry or Bitter About the Breakup

In this pathetic display of “strength” you launch a major offensive. Maybe even a verbal (or sometimes physical) tirade against all the wrongs and injustices your girlfriend committed during the course of your relationship.

And guess what? You come off as a crybaby. A bitter asshole she’s glad to be rid of. You’re exhibiting the exact immaturity she doesn’t want in a potential partner, and you’re justifying her decision to break up with you as the RIGHT decision.

You Threaten to Harm Yourself (or Worse, Your Girlfriend)

You shouldn’t be dumb enough to try this one, but I’ll talk about it anyway: YOU’LL NEVER FORCE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP with threats of bodily harm, suicide, or any of that stupid baby bullshit. You’re throwing a tantrum and that’s all it is – that’s all it should ever get recognized for.

Yes you may be frustrated. Yes, it may seem like your girlfriend isn’t answering your calls or listening to your voicemails or responding to your text messages. But that’s fine. There are other ways of getting her to talk to you rather than threatening her, or yourself, with violence.

Never go this route when trying to get your ex back, even if you’re desperate. At best you look like a complete psychopath. At worst you’ll end up in jail, or with an ambulance called to your house by your exgirlfriend because you threatened to hurt yourself.

You Beg Your Girlfriend ‘For Another Chance’ and ‘Promise to Change’

Number one, your girlfriend doesn’t want to give your relationship another chance (at least right now). Number two, begging and pleading are wholly unattractive, especially to a woman, and especially when you’re trying to get that woman to consider you as her ‘man’ again.

A man doesn’t beg. He doesn’t plead. He doesn’t make lame-sounding promises that “things will be different”. A MAN actually walks AWAY after someone dumps him, as if hey, guess what? He’s going to be happier and better off without this person who rejected him anyway.

This sounds like callous macho bullshit, but in reality this is exactly what will turn your girlfriend around. Because the more you beg and plead and act like you actually did something wrong the more it makes you guilty. Guilty of what? Of anything, really. Doesn’t matter, because in looking ‘wrong’ about the relationship it ratifies your girlfriend’s decision to end things.

In re-attracting your girlfriend, indifference is key. You don’t have to be a jerk to her, and you don’t have to treat her like crap. But you DO have to act as if you could care less whether or not you get back together with her. Do that, and you’ll fill her mind with doubt. Do that, and you’ll soon find HER chasing YOU.

Positive Traits That Will Get Your Girlfriend Back

Now that you’ve learned what NOT to do after your girl breaks up with you, it’s time to learn what you can. Here’s a complete list of traits and behaviors women find attractive in men. Learn these well, and you’ll not only fix your breakup, but you’ll master the art of dealing with women as well.

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My Ex Says He Loves Me, But He’s Not Ready to Get Back Together

So you’re talking with your ex boyfriend. Seeing him. Maybe even sleeping with him as well. All signs point to a reconciliation, and you’re eagerly awaiting those awesome few words: “Will you be my girlfriend?” again.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Stringing You Along

Instead, your ex avoids the question. He’s distant. Wishy-washy. So you ask him flat out where things are going, and your former boyfriend tells you:

“I still love you… but I’m just not ready for another relationship
right now.”

Now there are other ways he can word this too. Your ex might give you the “I’m still working on myself” line. Or he may string you along with “It’s too soon” or “Just give me some time.”

In all of those cases, he’s still with you. Still shows up to hang out with you. Still sleeps with you, and the sex is even better than before because now there’s a nasty, forbidden element to it.

So you wait… not-so-patiently. You’re happy with the contact, but you want more. Yet at the same time, you’re afraid of pushing your ex boyfriend too hard. As if pressing him for an answer might push him away for good, and you’ll lose him forever.

So what gives? Does he really want to be with you again? Or is your exboyfriend just giving you the blowoff… maybe stringing you along for as long as possible just so he can get a few extra weeks of post-breakup relationship (and post-breakup sex) with you?

The Real Reasons Your Ex Won’t Take You Back

First of all, if you’re trying to fix your breakup it’s always good thing that he’s still seeing you. At the same time, you can’t take everything he’s saying at face value. No matter what your ex says to you, his ultimate goal is his best interests. Meaning that he’s going to do what HE wants to do, and not just take you back for the sake of making you happy.

The good news is he’s not ready to lose you. He’s hanging onto your past relationship because he still feels emotionally connected. He’s probably torn; part of him wants a fresh start with someone else, but a bigger part of him wants to see if the two of you can actually work out.

The problem however, is that his actions are selfish. By telling you he loves you, he’s basically “locking you up” for now. He’s making sure you don’t go anywhere, while at the same time he’s free to do what he wants (and with who he wants). On top of that you might even be sleeping with him, which is like giving your ex everything he had when he was still dating you, but without the responsibilities of actually having to answer to you as a girlfriend.

And hey, guess what? While you sit there and do nothing? NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. Your former boyfriend isn’t going to alter the situation, because there’s no incentive for him to change anything. He has you; your companionship, your contact, your love and even your intimacy. What else does he really need? At this point, the title of boyfriend/girlfriend only serves to weigh him down.

Why Would My Ex Say That He Still Loves Me?

Two reasons. One, he really does still love you. His feelings for you are genuine, even if he hasn’t recommitted to a relationship yet.

But the other reason? It’s because he doesn’t want you to leave. He’s using the “I’m still in love with you” line as a way to keep you bound to him. It’s a tool he whips out whenever he feels you pulling away… whenever he feels like you might be getting fed up with his indecision, or tired of waiting. This is where he pours on the charm, and says all those things he knows you want to hear. And this, again, is selfish.

How Can I Get Him Back?

Again, the situation won’t change until YOU do something about it. So if you want your ex back? You’ll need to be proactive, rather than reactive, about the whole post-breakup situation.

Your first move is to create a void in his life. You do this by pulling away – as much as it might hurt right now. Only by making your boyfriend miss you can you actually create a need to have you as his girlfriend again. Only when he feels like he might lose you will he begin to evaluate you as a potential girlfriend rather than just ‘his ex’.

You can also use these bonding methods to strengthen past emotional attachments. By doing this, and by using the highlights of your past history together, you can mentally and emotionally bring your boyfriend back to the way things were at the beginning of your relationship. Accomplish this, and he’ll feel the same strong ties and attachments that made him want you as his girlfriend the first time around.

Ultimately, you never want to stay in this position too long. Being the “cool ex girlfriend” he can hang out with (and maybe sleep with) will eventually get you Friend-Zoned. And if you want this guy back as your boyfriend again? That’s absolutely the last thing you want.

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Ex Back Review: Breakup Reversed

There’s a reason Breakup Reversed is the single most popular, most downloaded guide to fixing a broken relationship. And maybe that’s because of two simple words: it works.

This expansive, step-by-step system boasts an incredible 94.7% success rate, backed up by hundreds of testimonials over the course of more than a decade. It contains the most concise, detailed blueprint to getting back together ever assembled, guiding you through the entire process of winning your ex girlfriend or boyfriend BACK.


Breakup Reversed System

As you can see, this isn’t a single book. It’s a multi-volume download containing several key guidebooks to understanding and reversing ANY breakup. And it’s not just written. There are audio files too, each of them giving you specific, hand-held guidance on how to turn your ex’s current view of your relationship completely around, bringing it back to the irresistible beginning when they first fell in love with you.

Included within the package, you get the following bonuses:

  • Breakup Reversed: A quick reference guide – An easy access, fast reference containing all the major steps needed to undo your breakup.
  • Instant Heartache Relief – Vital opening information on how to STOP the heartache, ease the pain of your breakup, and get your head straight… so you can start thinking clearly and making the correct moves toward positive contact with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. A must-read before you do anything else.
  • The Secrets to Saving Any Marriage – It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married or how bad things have gotten, relationship expert Robert Parsons shows you exactly what needs to happen in order to quickly put your marriage back on the right track. Even in the face of separation or divorce.
  • Let the Love Last – Your education doesn’t stop after you get your ex back! Learn exactly how to keep things fresh and exciting after your reconciliation, and what steps you can take to ensure a happy, healthy relationship free from future breakups.

Relationship expert and breakup master Robert Parsons has one simple motto:

THERE ARE NO HOPELESS SITUATIONS!

He goes about attacking your breakup situation with a counter-intuitive, aggressive stance that will immediately grab your ex’s attention and force them to face the issues that broke your relationship up. His logic makes incredible sense, and best of all, it usually goes in directions you’ve never thought to go.

And this is exactly why it works.

breakup-reversed-testimonials

See, we all know people who’ve gotten back together. Certain emotional attachments and psychological triggers make people want to be together again, even after some of the worst breakups. Hell, even after infidelity, or cheating.

Parsons focuses on what makes people change their minds after going their separate ways. He shows how you can manipulate your ex’s current mindset so that they start missing you and needing you in their life again. After that, taking you back is the only real option.

As the name suggests, the system also concentrates on reversing things. First and foremost? How your ex feels about you, or even views you as a potential mate. Odds are that view has changed a bit (or a lot) since they first started dating you. Breakup Reversed shows you why that is, and what you can do to go about correcting it.

Highlights of the system include just some of the following:

  • 7 must-know tricks you can start using immediately, to turn your ex around
  • 12 huge mistakes every person makes after getting dumped (and how avoiding them can sometimes end your breakup in just hours rather than days or weeks)
  • How to uncover your ex’s true feelings for you, and which methods you can use to strengthen those bonds so that they miss you more quickly
  • An extremely sneaky trick that gives you a “clean slate” with your ex, even if your breakup involved betrayal or cheating
  • Instant attraction techniques designed to bring your relationship back to its original ‘honeymoon’ phase, when your ex couldn’t even keep their hands off you
  • One very top-secret technique that puts you immediately back in your ex’s head again, regardless of the last time you made contact

Obviously there’s a lot more to the system, including a step-by-step analysis of ALL the phases of your breakup. Robert Parsons stresses that it doesn’t matter where you are, or what you’ve done so far; there’s always a way back to your prior relationship, as long as you haven’t slammed shut the window of opportunity by making too many of those early breakup mistakes.

Also, there’s special advice on how to contact your ex after the breakup. Because although the system is geared toward making your ex miss you so much that they’re the one contacting you, there’s always the possibility you need to reach out and open a new connection with your former boyfriend or girlfriend. Positive contact is one of the more tricky aspects of undoing a breakup, and Parsons handles it with laser-precision and great advice.

In the end this guide is perfect for all levels of breakups. Whether your breakup just happened and you’re looking to avoid pushing your ex further away, or if you’ve been broken up a few weeks now and are looking for a fresh approach to contacting and communicating with your ex, you won’t want to miss the guaranteed advice contained within this very powerful system.

Download Breakup Reversed Here

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The ONE Thing You Must Do When She Just Wants to Be Friends

For every guy in a relationship there are three in the FRIEND ZONE. Three lost souls stuck in a hopeless limbo, unable to escape to that one magical place they never stop fantasizing about: the position of actually being the boyfriend.

For some people, the Friend Zone can come after a relationship. You’re dating some girl, things are going great (or so you think), and all of a sudden she hits you with those horrible, dreaded words:

Anthony Malibu - Let's Just Be Friends

“I think we’d be better off as friends

Your heart sinks. Your mouth tastes like you just swallowed a bottle of glue.

FRIENDS? REALLY?

So how’d it happen? Could it be that all of a sudden she doesn’t ‘like’ you like that?

Were you boring? Were you lame? Was the sex not good? Exactly how the hell did you manage to get demoted from boyfriend status to someone who’s now “just a friend”?

The Two Main Reasons a Girl Will Friend-Zone You

Truth be told, there are only two big reasons a girl will pick you up and hurl you into the Friend Zone. The first one is obvious: she’s into someone else. There’s some other guy she’d like to date, or potentially like to try to date, and in order to do that she needs to be free of you.

“Friending” you could easily be a way for her to let you down easy. However, it could also be a way of keeping you ‘around’. It’s always nice to know someone still likes you, wants you, and would come back to you at any time. This gives her freedom. Choices. She can try to do something (or someone) better than you, and if it doesn’t work out? Well, there you are. That happy little “friend” she kept on the back burner for that rainy day.

The other reason a girl you’re dating will suddenly want friendship over a relationship is because you’re not being assertive as her boyfriend. In this case she’s friending you because you’re acting like a friend. You’re too passive, too wishy-washy. You’re acting less like her man and more like her ‘buddy’.

Check out this list and see if any of these things sound familiar:

  • You’re doting on her. Constantly. To the point of being annoying.
  • You tell your girlfriend how much you love her WAYYYY more than she tells you.
  • You’ve put her up on a pedestal. To the point where you’re worshipping her as a princess rather than dating her as an equal.
  • You say you’re “sorry” all of the time. Which is weak. Very weak.
  • You buy her stuff consistently, almost to where it feels like (on her end) a payment plan for going out with you.
  • You don’t take the lead. You’re always asking her what “she wants to do”, rather than planning things yourself and actually taking her out.
  • Your dates aren’t very romantic. You take her mundane places and/or hang out with groups of people rather than wine and dine her alone.
  • You’re never assertive. You never grab her and kiss her, or initiate getting physical. Rather you wait for her to do these things, thinking it’s ‘gentlemanly’ to do so.

All of these activities will get you Spartan-kicked into the Friend Zone. FAST. Girls won’t hang with guys like this, and certainly won’t stay with them. They don’t make them feel safe and protected. They don’t make them feel desired in the ways a woman wants a man to desire them. And that’s because your actions are more friendly than romantic.

If you’ve never dated this girl before, here are 3 big ways you can instantly escape the Friend Zone. And hey, you’re welcome.

But if you’re already in a relationship, and your girlfriend suddenly thinks you’d be “better off as friends”? Immediate and decisive action is necessary.

The only way to keep her is to turn her around. Change how she sees you, or how she thinks she sees you. So stop her mid-sentence. Grab her, kiss her, and tell her:

“I don’t want a friend. I want YOU. We’re good together, and there’s no planet in the universe where I can see us being ‘just friends’ with each other.”

It’s firm. It’s assertive. It’s a strong counter to what she’s trying to do. And if she persists? Tell her:

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you as my girlfriend. You’re awesome. Too awesome to just be my friend. So either we date or we don’t date, and both options are cool with me. But I’m flat out telling you, there’s no middle ground.”

In most cases, your girlfriend won’t be ready for this. She’s looking to “try” the breakup out, almost like a gift she can return if she’s not happy with it. Instead, you’re giving her a no refunds policy. You’re telling her (not asking her) in no uncertain terms what’s going to happen next. In short, you’re taking the reins.

From there, you have your work cut out for you. Start being the guy she WANTS and not the all-too accommodating, girlfriend-worshipping pushover you have been. Step up your game. Take her places that give her no doubt in her mind that you are her boyfriend and nothing else.

Check out this list of traits women find attractive in men. As you start to exhibit them, you’ll find yourself much more successful – both in life, your job, and also with women – than you’ve ever been before.

And if you’re already ‘on a break’ or you’ve already agreed to be friends with your girlfriend? Check out this complete 6-step process on How to Win Her Back.

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My Ex Hasn’t Responded for 2 Weeks – What Can I Do?

Hi Anthony!

My name is Sharon and I have been reading your relationship articles for a while now and they seem to help, but I am in a very strange situation with my ex and I was wondering if you can help me out.In the beginning of July my ex broke up with me because he told me that it was the right time to move on and to just remain friends. A week after he broke up with me I had sex with another guy.

A couple of days after my ex broke up with me he would still text me everyday and remained contact. A couple of weeks later we began to hang out a lot and started to discuss getting back together. I told him about the other guy that I hooked up with and he started crying and was very upset the next day he told me he was shocked and confused and very hurt because he told me he still had feelings for me when we broke up. Then he told me that he’s giving me the total green light to move on and that this would be the last time we were gunna talk.

I haven’t heard from him since then which was two weeks ago. I just shot him a text a couple of hours ago saying hey and he hasn’t responded. He’s a sensitive guy and I want to know from a guy’s pov how he is feeling and if I still have a chance. I still love him and I want him back terribly .. We been together for two and a half years on and off.

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Sharon!

Sorry to hear about the problems you’ve been having. Your situation is fairly common, and your boyfriend is having some serious remorse over his stupid “move on and be friends” move, which backfired so hard it came back to bite him in the ass just a few weeks later.

“move on and to just remain friends” – The ‘just be friends’ part of this statement should’ve clued you in on his true intentions: he wanted you to wait around. Not saying you had any responsibility to sit back and wait around for him… you were certainly allowed to do whatever you wanted at that point. But what your boyfriend *expected* and what you actually *did* turned out to be two very different things.

Anthony Malibu - Make Your Ex Need You

This guy wasn’t ready to let you go (and still might not be). He was having a “single moment”, where he wanted to see what else was out there for him. At the same time of course, he wanted you to stick around. Staying friends was his way of keeping tabs on you, so he’d know how hung up on him you might still be… and how much time he has to do what he wants. Ideally, he wanted you to stick by and twiddle your thumbs while he made some moves. And if those moves failed? There you were, all ready to take him back.

Instead, you went out and made you own moves. Your only mistake – in my opinion – was telling him about them. When you met up again and started discussing getting back together, you probably should’ve omitted the fact that you slept with another guy. Maybe you did it out of loneliness, a rebound fling, even a little bit of getting back at him for the breakup… whatever it was, you should’ve probably kept it to yourself. If he found out later, you could always tell him you lied to spare his feelings, and that the one-time sex meant nothing. And if he never found out? No harm done.

I don’t usually advocate lying about a relationship, but in truth you weren’t together at that point. What you did was YOUR business, not his. And yes, he might even have asked if you’d been with someone else, but you know what? It’s not his place to break up with you and then demand do know what you were doing while you were rejected, hurt, and alone.

Okay, I guess you want a solution. :) At this point it’s tough, because he’s not going to get over the sex you had with this guy anytime soon. Your boyfriend is going to drill you for details (give him as little as possible), and re-hash the affair in his head over and over again. It’ll drive him crazy with jealousy, and it will make him bitter and angry. But at the same time, in the back of his mind he’ll know he brought this on himself for pulling the “let’s go on a break” stunt back at the beginning of July. Maybe you acted more quickly than most, but in the end, you really didn’t do anything wrong.

From a guy’s point of view, he CAN forgive you. It’s going to take him longer to forget. What you need to do is blow this whole thing off as almost meaningless whenever he brings it up. Tell him it was a one-shot deal, it wasn’t even that good, and you thought of him the whole time (even if you didn’t). Tell him this guy means nothing, and that if he wants to get back together you’re willing to give it a shot… but ONLY if he’s willing to forget what happened and NOT continually punish you for what he might consider cheating on him.

The worst thing you can do right now is apologize… even for ‘hurting him’. He hurt himself. You need to maintain a strong and firm stance on this, but at the same time be appreciative and gentle with his feelings. Tell him you totally understand how he’s feeling, and that you’d feel badly in the same scenario. But tell him at the time YOU were hurt, YOU were confused, and YOU sought some comfort in another guy’s arms during a very hard time. It had nothing to do with him, your relationship, or your future together.

That’s the best you can do, I’m afraid. If he hasn’t contacted you by now, I’d suggest you *completely* eliminate all calls, texts, emails, etc… He needs to wrap his head around what happened, but he also needs to realize he’s losing you if he doesn’t take a step forward in your direction. Chase him, and he’ll think he’s right and you’re wrong. But let him chase you, and it will be like he’s trying to get back something special he’s on the verge of losing – and this is what you want.

Also, there are ways of getting your ex boyfriend to call you. Check these out, some of them might help in getting him to make that first contact.

Good luck, and let me know how it turns out for you, okay?

Breakup Advice Separator

Hey Anthony, just wanted to thank you so much for the advice! Its now going on three weeks with still no contact and I’m doing my absolute best by sticking strong to your disappearing from his radar method .. He still hasn’t contacted me either ..

I guess I shouldn’t worry because it has only been three weeks. I had been reading in one of your articles that usually it takes a good six weeks for them to possibly contact. What really scares me though is when the last time I herd from him he told me that he was giving me the total green light to move on and that he is really serious about never speaking to me again. I don’t know if he is just saying that because he was hurt or if he was really serious.

He is a pretty sensitive guy so I don’t really know how to take that statement it could probably go either way. I totally agree that I shouldn’t have told him about the sex with the other guy because it was my business only. I will totally keep you updated and let you know what goes on! Thanks again and keep safe from the hurricane, us long islanders are strong though well make it through LOL 😉

Breakup Advice Separator

Haha!!! A fellow Long Islander? NICE. Enjoy the Hurricane and stay indoors!

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My Ex Still Answers My Texts – What Does it Mean?

One of the more confusing aspects of breaking up is an ex who keeps in touch with you afterward. Especially when that person acts as if it’s perfectly normal to stay in touch, keep up past levels of communication, or even ‘stay friends’ afterward.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Still Texting You

For your ex, this is a comfortable situation. He or she still gets the security of still talking to you, which is an advantage when it comes to letting go. It always hurts less to let someone go over a longer period of time rather than just cut ties all at once, which is why most people will keep up some level of contact even after breaking up.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Are they just looking out for you? Trying to be friendly?

Or is there some other underlying reason for them to keep texting you after breaking things off?

Well first, a lot can be said by the way the two of you broke up. In the case where the breakup was mutual (or at least you agreed that it was), texting each other might be an extension of habit. You’ve been talking all through your relationship, and since you parted ways with no really bad feelings, staying in contact seems fairly natural.

In other cases though, when an ex is still texting you? It’s probably because he or she has some unfinished business.

How to Use Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re the one who got dumped, obviously you’d like to fix the situation. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might prompt you to continue texting with them purely for your own interests. You want to keep talking with them. You don’t want them to lose interest. You love them, and would hate to lose them, so you’re willing to hang on to any last scrap of the former relationship no matter how big or small.

In truth however, constantly texting with your ex is counterproductive to getting them back. Because you can’t fix your breakup until:

  • Your ex misses you.
  • Your ex needs you.
  • Your ex sees you as attractive again.

Those three things. That’s it. That’s all it takes to get back together again.

Now getting your ex to miss you, right off the bat, is a huge problem if you’re still carrying on a textual relationship. By not taking yourself out of his or her life, you’re not creating a hole where you used to be. You’re still there. You’re only a few buttons away at any given time, and that knowledge gives your ex the security to continue being without you. Because in many ways, they still have you.

If your ex doesn’t miss you, they’ll never need you back. If you never go away, they never have to experience a life without you in it. So right away you’ve got two strikes going for you.

Finally, your ex broke up with you for a reason. Maybe even a few reasons. But whatever those were, they added up to the same thing: the romance lost something along the way. Whatever attracted your boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place wore off, and this was a combination of physical looks, emotional attachments, and personality traits that made them interested in you.

When you keep texting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll see it as needy. They’ll see it as a sign that you need them more than they need you. Especially if you’re answering the texts very quickly, or flirting with your responses.

Think of it this way; we all want someone desirable. Someone who’s cool and attractive to the point where they’re almost unattainable. Capturing that person’s interest is a huge part of the courtship process. Getting them to like and appreciate you is your ultimate goal.

So when you’re already doing these things? When your ex already has your undivided attention? There’s no chase. You’ve eliminated the courtship process and gone straight to “hey, here I am, take me when you want me”, and at the same time, you’ve given your ex no particular reason to still want you back. Nothing has really changed. Even the texts have been the same.

To win your ex back, you need to break this cycle. You need to withdraw, shake things up, and let your ex know he or she stands to really lose you – and for good too – if they don’t immediately start chasing you again.

Your first step? Taking Away your Ex’s Safety Net. Because once you do this, the breakup roles are entirely reversed. The power your ex took when they broke things off shifts back to you, and you can then use that power to make them want you again.

You also learn tons more about texing your ex (and how you can use text-messages to lure them back), by watching this video. It’s a great tool for those trying to re-attract an ex boyfriend or girlfriend strictly using text messages.

But for now, stop texting your ex. Don’t answer for a while and see what happens. Some of the best advice you can get involves turning your phone off, putting it in a drawer, and going out and having a great time WITHOUT your ex (and without your cellphone). Your LIFE is the thing that makes you attractive to someone. Not your text-messages.

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Take the Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Quiz

Does he still love you? Sometimes it’s not easy to tell. Guys can send very mixed feelings your way after a breakup, and their intentions are never 100% clear.

To understand whether or not you’ve still got a shot, you need to know how your ex really feels. You have to dig deep, to where unresolved emotional bonds are still tying him to you in one way or another. And more often than not, this is not something your ex is going to be open about, or disclose willingly.

Get Your Ex Back Quiz

The following Quiz can tell you a whole bunch of stuff about your ex boyfriend. Answering honestly, you’ll learn:

  • What it means when he’s still calling you, and how you can get your ex to call.
  • How much you should read into it when your boyfriend keeps ‘running into’ you.
  • What the type of contact your ex makes says about his future intentions.
  • How the way he broke up with you can affect whether or not he still sees the two of you together.
  • How any communication he has with your family and friends can be a big sign he’s ready to take you back.
  • Why the excuses he gives for calling you can hint at the possibility of an apology or reconciliation.
  • The true reason(s) he may have broken up with you (which are not always what he originally told you).
  • Why your ex bringing up the past can be a big tell when it comes to getting back together.
  • Exactly what it means when you have intimacy after the breakup (sex with your ex).

These are only a few of the areas covered by this 18-question quiz. At the end the quiz is fully scored, and points tallied to give a total. The higher your score, the greater the chance your boyfriend still wants you back. From there recommendations are made, based upon how you scored and which questions received stronger answers.

The entire Get Your Ex Back Quiz can be found here. Check it out, and see how high a score you get.

Connecting With Your Ex Boyfriend After the Breakup

In some cases you’ll want to walk away from a bad relationship. But in others? You’ll feel like the whole thing is unfinished. As if you really could be good together, if only the two of you could get past a few hurdles.

Knowing what those hurdles are is usually difficult. Many relationships end with a bunch of fighting or bad feelings, and others just end with two people shutting up and walking away. Getting back in touch after that can be difficult. Contacting your ex is like putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for rejection, if the type of contact you make with him is unwanted.

If your ex hasn’t called or contacted you at all, calling him isn’t the answer. Not now, while he still hasn’t had time to miss you. But then many times, an ex boyfriend will want to stay in touch with you after breaking things off. He’ll send text messages, or even encourage you to do the same. He might even suggest staying friends with him, but if you want him back? This type of arrangement will only lessen your chances at ever being his girlfriend again… and for a good many reasons.

Remember: you can’t force someone to be with you. You can only make them see what they’ll be missing, and to do that, you need to go away for a while. In cutting yourself entirely from your boyfriend’s life you can play upon the existing emotional bonds he’s currently trying to bury. And if those bonds are strong enough? He’ll miss you enough that he’ll need you back, or at least need to start hearing from you again… and this is when he’ll make that call.

Learn the best methods to accelerate your ex missing you, and use them to speed up the process of fixing your breakup. These work more efficiently when you employ them closest to your breakup date, so don’t wait forever.

And in the meantime? Take the quiz to see exactly where you stand on the path to getting back together.

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How to Keep Your Break From Becoming a Breakup

So you’re on a ‘break’… or you took ‘time off’ from the relationship. Or maybe your partner just needed ‘space’, or even ‘time to think’.

Sound familiar? That’s because your boyfriend or girlfriend is unhappy. They’re putting your relationship in a holding pattern, while you sit there doing nothing and hoping that somehow, someway, things will get miraculously better.

Stop Break From Becoming Breakup

Are you all ready to do that?

Of course not.

Because right here, right now, I’m going to show you how to stop and reverse your breakup. And make no mistake about it, that’s exactly what this is; a breakup just waiting to be finalized, and through no fault or control of your own.

Putting any relationship on the back burner is always a bad idea. That’s because ‘taking time off’ is usually the first step toward a much larger and more permanent problem; breaking up for good.

Why Does My Lover Want to Take a Break?

Whatever vague, bullshit reason your boyfriend or girlfriend gave you for needing a break, the first thing you should acknowledge is how lame it is. No one needs “space” from someone they love to the point of excluding them from their lives. Nobody needs to “work on themselves for a while” unless they’re training for the Olympics, and for God’s sake nobody needs time apart “to see just how much we really love each other” when that time could be spent, oh, I don’t know, actually trying to love each other.

The fact is, your partner wants something entirely different. Let me translate it for you:

“Hey, listen. I was thinking of seeing other people. Or maybe even trying to date other people, and you know, see if that works out for me”.

“But just in case it doesn’t? I’d like you to still be around waiting for me.
So let’s call it a ‘break’ instead of a ‘breakup”.

“Of course this means I get to do whatever the hell I want, and you get to sit here and wait for me under the guise of ‘I need some space’.”

In other words: “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

Obviously, none of this is fair. Your partner is exploiting his or her sense of power. They realize that you want or need them just a little bit more than they need you, and they’re using that little fact to test the boundaries of your relationship.

Most people, unfortunately, go along with the break. They see no alternative because they’re too afraid of losing their lover for good. This might be where you are now, having lowered your head and agreed to whatever obscure terms your now exboyfriend or exgirlfriend laid out when they semi-dumped you. You hope they’ll come to their senses and return, but in the back of your mind you’re terrified that they won’t.

What to Do When You’re ‘On a Break’

Oddly enough, rocking the boat is exactly what you need to do if you want any chance of being with this person again. Going along with the break will almost certainly lead to the end of your relationship, because even if this person does come back they’re only going to abuse their sense of power again and again until the two of you finally break up.

A relationship should be EQUAL. The love you give should be the same as the love you receive. The best partnerships are built on trust and respect, not on forced commitment and the constant fear of being left alone.

So what should you do when your boyfriend or girlfriend wants ‘time apart’ or ‘space’ or some other nonsense? Easy. You walk in the opposite direction.

Rather than meekly going along with whatever vague terms are set as far as hanging out, contacting them, etc… you smirk back at your boyfriend or girlfriend and say:

“Yeah… thanks but no thanks. I stopped doing the whole
‘we’re on a break’ thing back in the 7th grade.”

Sneer at it. Make fun of it. Make sure your lover realizes how stupid they ought to feel, asking you to take something as important as your relationship and relegate it to some weird limbo.

When they try to reword things or push the issue, tell them:

“If you don’t want to date me, fine. Let’s break up. We can both do our own thing and both go off and see other people. But I’m sure as hell not
doing this ‘take time apart’ crap.”

Say this, and you’ll find your lover picking his or her jaw up off the floor. Why? Because it’s totally not what they expected. You’re doing the exact opposite of what they thought you would do, which was jumping through hoops in order to keep them.

In truth? Your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to break up right now. If that was their intention, they would’ve put it a lot differently. Instead, they wanted a ‘break’ because it allowed them time to test the waters. To jump on over the fence and check if the grass was really greener, with the comfort and knowledge you’d let them jump back to YOU if the grass on the other side of the fence totally sucked.

Instead, you’re telling them no. You’re telling them you won’t be there when they get back. You’re also letting them know you’re ready to ‘do your own thing’ as soon as possible, which will make your partner – who is still very attached to you – ten times more upset than anything else.

Learn the rest of these Counter-Rejection Techniques if you feel your relationship is threatened by an unwanted break. They’re are an amazing way to stop and reverse the detachment process, by forcing your boyfriend or girlfriend to completely reevaluate how they feel about you.

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Why Does My Ex Keep Sending Mixed Signals?

So they broke up with you… then they call you. They tell you to leave them alone, then you get a late-night text message from them…

What gives? Is your ex just doing all this to torture you, or do they really have some kind of unknown agenda in mind?

Ex Sending Mixed Signals

Mixed signals are some of the hardest things to figure out when dealing with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. The hot-and-cold nature of speaking to someone who isn’t sure of what they want can be confusing and infuriating, not to mention the roller-coaster ride of hope and hopelessness you’re forced to go on when your ex keeps stringing you along.

The first thing to understand here is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also going through a breakup. Just because he or she seemed sure about ending things doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing many of the same things you are.

Heartbreak, loneliness – these things are running through your ex’s mind too. Since they’re the ones who decided to break up, the decision still weighs heavily on them, and usually for some time afterward. Even if your ex started seeing someone new, there will always be lingering emotional ties. And some of these ties will be so strong, that they feel compelled to get in touch with you, or even ask to see you again.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Calls or Texts

Any contact from your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is almost universally a sign of interest. Unless they’re getting back in touch to pick up something they left at your place (and even sometimes then), they’re contacting you because they have a NEED for such contact. This need is fulfilled the minute you pick up the phone or text them back, so you should be very careful with how you respond. If you’re not in agreement with the breakup and really want them back? Answering them right away might seem a little needy or desperate on your part.

The worst thing you could do at this point is ‘chase’ your ex through these hot and cold moments. Because sometimes, all they want from you is the knowledge you’re still there. You’ll get ex boyfriends or girlfriends who give you the:

“Hi! Just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything…”

This is basically for their benefit and not yours; your ex really doesn’t care much about how you’re doing at this point, but care more about whether or not you’re still ‘around’ in case they decide to call off the breakup. Whether you tell them you’re okay or NOT okay doesn’t matter. What matters is you answered them, and this is pretty much all they really wanted.

Another thing an ex will do is try to string you along with stuff like:

“I’ll always love you, but I’m just not in love with you.”

This is the equivalent of putting you on a shelf for later on. You’ve been Friend-Zoned. Put somewhere you have no power, yet still have to answer to your ex if they happen to need you for moral support, a dilemma, or just a shoulder to cry on.

Allow yourself to be put on this shelf, and you’re effectively ending any chance you might have of being with this person again. Because whenever you play the “I’ll be there for you” game, you’re only going to be there when HE or SHE needs you, and not when you need something from them.

Texting Your Ex – What to Do After the Breakup

There are a lot of texts that happen after relationships end, and you should know how to respond to them. Some texts might come off as innocent, but in reality they’re really not.

You can even use other texts to help get your ex back. These you need to know inside and out before you send them however, because not texting your ex the right thing can have big consequences that negatively affect your ability to look positive and favorable in their eyes.

Ultimately, how you handle talking to or even seeing your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is up to you. It eventually boils down to how much you want to include them in your life, or whether you’re trying to cut them loose altogether. Each way, contact should be something you’re careful with. You’ve been hurt once, and you don’t want to get hurt again.

There are 6 Individual Steps necessary to Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend, so find out what they are!

And for women trying to fix a breakup? Check out the same 6 steps with a slightly different perspective at How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.

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