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3 Things Your Ex Wants to See After the Breakup

Breakups aren’t as cut and dry as you might think they are. Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to a breakup as well.

Moves After Breakup

To you, your boyfriend or girlfriend ended things abruptly. They don’t want you anymore, and they don’t want anything to do with you. The lack of communication might make things seem hopeless, as if you’ve been totally emotionally abandoned.

On your ex’s side however, things are different. While yes, they did initiate the breakup, they also had a lot more time to consider it. They started the process of letting go of you weeks, even months ago, which gives them a distinct emotional advantage over you. They’re already got used to the possibility of not continuing on with the relationship.

As a result, your ex might seem a lot colder or more distant than you really think they are toward you. This is mostly because they want to avoid you. Dealing with you right now is a tough thing for them, so don’t take it as a sign they’ve completely shed all feelings for you.

Now, when an ex leaves? They ALWAYS look back. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will inevitably glance over his or her shoulder, just to see what they left behind. And when they do? Your ex wants to see three major things:

1) Your Ex Wants to See You Miserable Without Them

Yeah, that’s right: your ex wants you to suffer. Not because they’re a bitter asshole, but because seeing you upset about losing them inflates their own ego. And the more upset you are? The more it justifies their decision. The more it makes them realize that you needed them more than they ever needed you.

This is why it’s crucial that you NOT act upset, forlorn, depressed, or any of that stuff after the breakup. Crying, pleading, “fighting for the relationship” – all that crap only cements their decision that yeah, they’re gonna be totally better off without you.

The most disconcerting thing you can do after someone dumps you? Act like nothing happened. In effect, you want to smile, say “okay”, and walk away. This creates INSTANT DOUBT on the part of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. All of a sudden they wonder if cutting you loose was a bad idea, because obviously you didn’t need them half as much as they thought you did.

Indifference is the second-best opening move when it comes to reversing a breakup. Here’s the first one. Learn them both, because combining these two moves is going to put you in the driver’s seat later on, when it comes time to get back with your ex.

2) Your Ex Wants You to Chase Them

This one seems dead wrong, doesn’t it? Because maybe you’ve already chased your ex, and maybe they’ve already told you to go the hell away.

In truth, your ex does want you to go away… sort of. They want the freedom to tell you to piss off (because right now being around you is uncomfortable), but the comfort and security and ego-stroking happiness of knowing you’re still trying to get them back.

So the more you chase them? The more they love it. But also, the more they slip away – because chasing after your ex once he or she breaks up with you is ALWAYS a terrible idea.

3) Your Ex Wants to See You Fail

Ever walk through public and pass an ex boyfriend or girlfriend? The first thing through your mind is how they look, or sometimes more important, how the new person on their arm looks.

Without realizing it, you want that person to totally suck. You want your ex to look terrible, and for their new boyfriend or girlfriend to look like an absolute train wreck. And of course you do, because that’s just human nature.

Understand something: when you dump someone, you always want to feel as if that person would’ve been better off had they stayed with you. So when you see them thriving and doing well without you? It makes you instantly question yourself. If you broke up with them recently, it makes you want to see them… talk to them… possibly even get them back. Why? Because you just lost something of value. Something you didn’t realize was valuable until you lost it.

Applying this to your own situation, the BEST thing you can do right now is live well. Dress your best, look your best – lose weight or buy new clothes or get some new guy/girl on your arm as soon as you can. Because when your ex eventually gets wind of these things? They’re going to seriously reconsider their decision to dump you.

The 12 Biggest Mistakes You Can Make After a Breakup

More often than not, fixing your breakup is less about what you do, and more about what you DON’T do. Sometimes you can get your ex to want you back by doing absolutely nothing, simply because you won’t be making any of the more lethal, romance-killing mistakes that would drive them away.

Here’s the full list of mistakes you should absolutely avoid making if you want ANY chance at reconciliation. Study them hard, and remember that just because you may have committed two or three of them doesn’t mean you can rectify things going forward.

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Ex Back Review: The Ex Factor Guide

There are a lot of Get Your Ex Back systems out there, and some of them are pretty good. A select few of them are actually great, and that’s where the Ex Factor Guide falls on the scale of being helpful, informative, and most of all, getting results.

The first thing you’ll notice about Brad Browning’s system is that it’s not one, but TWO individual guides. One is designed for men who are trying to get back with an ex girlfriend, the other is for women who want their boyfriends back. Each guide contains different information, specific to the wants and needs of each gender. Because let’s face it, all throughout every relationship men and women often find themselves wanting VERY different things.

A bit about Brad Browning: the man is a relationship expert and total wizard when it comes to the analysis – and solution – of a breakup. He treats your breakup almost as a mathematical equation, identifying cause and effect, then deriving the EXACT solution needed for your own particular relationship situation. Brad’s extensive knowledge is peppered with bits of wisdom, not only for fixing a broken romance, but for attracting and keeping members of the opposite sex.

After reading Ex Factor you’ll come away with strength, confidence, and the knowledge needed to start making positive changes to the situation that exists between you and your ex. Best of all, it works fast. In a very short time you’ll have your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend curious about you, and ultimately, needing to hear from you again.

Ex Factor Guide Videos

Another big reason Browning’s system is so popular: VIDEOS.

Aside from the more than 160+ page guide, the system also includes a series of comprehensive, no-bullshit videos starring Brad Browning himself.

These are informative and inspiring; you’ll get all kinds of tips and tricks to minimizing the damage caused when your ex broke up with you, and maximizing whatever existing feelings and emotional attachments are still there.

Yet even before that, you’ll learn to stop making common mistakes that could be destroying your chances of ever getting back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. This is an absolute must-see. Most of the time, people who fail to fix their breakup do so because of one thing: they made too many mistakes. In short, they shot themselves in the foot before they even had a chance at fixing things.

Outlined within this guide you’ll learn:

  • The REAL reason your girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you (which is very often not what you think).
  • 20 Desirable characteristics that will create an instant attraction with any person of the opposite sex.
  • The 6 deadly mistakes that most people make immediately after being dumped by someone. Making too many of these can push your ex to the breaking point.
  • How long to go ‘No Contact’, and exactly what to do during this phase that will get your ex’s attention again.
  • 4 Jaw-dropping ways to make your ex jealous; using jealousy to get your ex to reconsider your value is one of the biggest lessons you can learn in getting them to want you again.
  • A comprehensive guide to contacting your ex: how to make them call YOU, when to see them, and what to say when you do start communicating with each other again.
  • Examples of what you should be texting your ex, and when you should send those text-messages.
  • A full-blown blueprint for your reunion date – how to reignite your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s original attraction for you.
  • Precisely when to seduce your ex, and how to go about using that intimacy to bring the two of you together again.

Keep in mind this is just some of the things you’ll learn in Brad’s Ex Factor Guide. All the advice you receive, and videos you watch, will be tailored specifically to gender of the person you’re trying to get back. Guys will learn exactly what most women are looking for in giving you a second shot. Girls will find a full list of things important to man, and how to use that list to make him want you as his boyfriend again, and not just as a friend or acquaintance.

You can watch Brad Browning’s free introductory videos here:

[This one for men]
[This one for women]

Make sure you check them out – there’s a ton of useful stuff packed in just these 8 minutes of information. And you’ll also get a better sense of what Brad is like; he has a way of speaking and conveying his message that’s almost addictive in his delivery.

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Why You Can’t Stay Friends With Your Ex

Of all the broken relationship questions I get, the most common ones deal with friendship. And that’s because, for many people, keeping up some level of friendship after breaking up seems to be the ‘go to’ method for trying to stay in your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend’s life.

“Hey Anthony, why can’t I stay friends with my ex?
Won’t that help in getting them back?”

I hate to say it, but the answer is no.  You cannot, and should not, stay friends – or even friendly – after the breakup.  NOT if you actually want this person back as your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Friends With Your Ex

Honestly, staying friends with someone who just dumped you seems like a great initial idea.  You get to still see them.  You get to talk to them, text them – by remaining on friendly terms you don’t have to cut them out of your life.

You’re staying in sight too, so your ex doesn’t forget about you, and you’re able to see what your former lover is doing… and with whom.

All of that sounds amazing, no?  The next best thing to dating them, right?  Well, if only any of it were true.

Why Being Friends With Your Ex is Torture for Them

Right off the bat, you have to understand something very important: after breaking up with you, your ex doesn’t want to see you.

For a lot of people this is very difficult to swallow.  Yes, I know, they told you differently.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend put on a brave smile and said “sure!” when you asked if you could still talk to them, keep in touch, hell, even hang out together.  And they meant it… for about as long as it took for you to get back in your car.

After that?  Your ex wants to avoid you.  He or she would rather go to the dentist than actually run into you right now.  And no, it’s not because they hate you.  It’s not “bad blood” or anything stupid like that.  It’s because your ex will feel totally awkward around you.  And that’s because of something even more important:

They’re trying to push aside any emotional ties they still have to you.

And so yeah, the last thing they want is to see you.  Or hear from you.  Or for God’s sake, hang out with you.  When you call or text or whatever, you’ll talk to them less and less.  They’ll cut the ties of communication slowly, so as not to upset you, but they’ll cut them nonetheless.  Which means that very, very soon, you’re going to feel utterly and completely alone.

Why Being Friends With Your Ex is Torture for YOU

Now if you think that’s bad, it’s an even worse situation on your end. Because while you’re friends with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend? You’re stuck in this weird limbo of no longer being in a romantic relationship with them, and not really being an actual friend either.

“Bullshit! I can totally be friends with my ex!”

Nope. You might think you’re doing it, but in reality you’re stuck in a very strange place. That’s because you’re not like any of your ex’s other friends. You’re a friend with an agenda.

A ‘friend’ who has the ultimate goal of getting back in this person’s pants again. THEY want friendship. YOU want more. And no matter how much you deny it, or think you can try to hide it? Your ex totally knows and sees this. They feel it without you even having to say a single word, and from that moment on, they’re going to have their guard up around you.

Staying friends at this point will be torturous.  You’ll have to smile and be ‘happy’ while your ex lives his or her life without you.  You’ll need to be supportive when they talk about their dating problems.  And when your ex finally starts seeing someone else?  You’ll need to put on your bravest face and act happy for them, even though it’s going to feel like you got stabbed in the stomach.

And hey, even if you could be friends for a while?  The second one or both of you get a new partner that person isn’t going to be too happy about the arrangement.  Remember dating that one person who just couldn’t let go of their ex?  The person who told you “we’re just friends”, even though you wish this ex would go the hell away?  Well now you’re on the flip side of that coin.

What Should You Do if Your Ex Wants to Be Friends?

Short answer? You tell them no. But the long answer? You have to do it in such a way that it actually makes your ex need to hear from you again.

It’s not as simple as refusing the friendship. You also need to convince your ex that you don’t want to be friends with him or her, and that you’re not just shrugging it off because you’re bitter or angry.

Breaking Up With Ex

Essentially, you want your ex to wonder WHY you won’t be friends with them. It should seem cold to them. Callous. Like you really didn’t care to begin with, if you could just break free of them cold turkey.

The fact you’re not willing to even maintain simple contact (like texting or Instagram) tells your ex a great deal about your independence, and how they had you pegged wrong as still needing them around. This is only one of several counter-rejection techniques you can employ to shake things up, making your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend question their decision to break up with you in the first place.

When your ex realizes you’re willing to walk away from them, without even attempting to be friends? They themselves feel rejected. Your boyfriend or girlfriend also has to face the grim reality of the breakup alone.

This is especially bad for them if they expected you to stay in touch. Most people who say “let’s be friends” aren’t 100% ready to let go just yet, and the post-break friendship is a way for them to do it gradually, at their own pace. But you denied them that luxury, which puts them out of their comfort zone. You just ripped the Band-Aid off in one quick motion.

If You’re Already Friends With Your Ex… What Then?

If the breakup already happened and you’re now stuck in the “buddy” role, there are a number of ways to fix things. First, you’ll need to climb out of the dreaded Friend Zone, even if it means severing what little contact you already have with your former lover.

Beyond that, there’s a four-step process to making your ex see you as a potential partner again, rather than just a friend. It might seem like a small step backwards, but sometimes you have to backtrack in order to find the right path.

Remember: “staying friends with your ex” is a consolation prize that you just don’t want. Read up on other ways to break out of the friendship trap by checking out the links below:

What to Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Be Friends

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back When She Just Wants to Be Friends

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