Tag Archives: ex girlfriend

3 Things to Say (and NOT Say) When Talking to Your EX

Nervous around your ex? Not sure how to talk to them?

talking-to-your-ex

Not knowing what to say – and how to act – around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a very common thing. And if you’re still trying to repair your broken relationship? It’s especially critical that you know EXACTLY what to say (and not say!)

Think about how awkward this is. One minute you’re totally in love and able to say or do anything to each other… and the next minute it’s totally hands off. You go from being lovers to being nothing. You go from being best friends to being nothing more than casual acquaintances.

In some cases you might even be avoiding your ex because you don’t know how to act around them. And this can lead to even more awkwardness. More distance between you.

First, understand that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is just as uncomfortable as you are. Stop putting them up on some pedestal where they’re in total control and you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Do that, and you will be nothing but an emotional wreck, because you’re psyching yourself out before you even get started.

To win back the respect – and ultimately the love – of your ex, you’ll need to do one thing: make yourself desirable again in their eyes. Because at one time? They were head-over-heels ready to date you. And now they’re not.

You do this by maintaining CONTROL. I can’t express this enough: if you give control over to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, then they – and they alone – are the one who’s responsible for whether or not you get back together again.

Be Sure to Hype Yourself Up

When seeing your ex again for the first time, you should seem absolutely excited. No, not excited to see them. Excited for your life in general.

The more fun you seem to be having, the more jealous your boyfriend or girlfriend will be of you. That’s because it’s human nature to want to see you NOT having fun without them.

Making sure you’re totally pumped and doing great and having a kickass time WITHOUT THEM is the perfect way to set your ex on his or her back foot. Right off the bat they’ll feel uncomfortable – especially if they’re the one who initiated the breakup – simply because you seem to be doing so well without them.

Talk About What You’re Doing – But Be Mysterious

Chances are your ex will ask you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, etc… That’s normal. But what your ex is really doing is trying to gauge just how much you really miss them.

Your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you upset, mopey, distraught… so make sure you talk about all the cool things you’ve been up to, even if you have to embellish a bit. Go places and do things that are fun to talk about, so the next time you see or talk to or even text-message with your ex, you can mention these things to make them jealous.

At the same time however, never give them too much information. The more details that are left out, the more that’s left to your ex’s imagination. Remember: you want to create longing and desire again. You need to be cool, fun, hip and mysterious. They should want to know more about you, which will lead them to want you again.

Tell Your Ex it’s Good to See Them Again

Most people avoid their exes like the plague after a breakup. And when they do see them? They avoid eye contact and try not to converse at all.

To win back this person’s admiration and respect, you need to face up to them. Smile. Laugh. Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s good to see them again. And then?

Walk away.

To make someone need you back in their life, you have to create a void where they used to be. By going away – even if it’s by not answering the phone or text-messages – you’re creating a giant gap in this person’s life where they’re used to hearing from you.

Believe it or not, your ex relies on you, even after the breakup. By taking away that safety net, you’re causing them to doubt their decision to break up with you in the first place — especially if you’re smiling and saying “hey, how are you?” when you see them rather than avoid eye contact and slink away.

Three Things NOT to Say to Your Ex

In talking with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, there are 7 common mistakes that will always drive them away. LEARN WHAT THESE ARE! Because if you commit more than two or three of them, you might as well not even try to win them back at all.

That said, there are three things to NEVER do when talking about things with your ex:

• DON’T BE MISERABLE. Your ex won’t feel pity for you. In fact, seeing you miserable is the one thing that will make them realize they did the right thing in breaking up. And that’s because it certainly seems like you need them a lot more than they need you.

• DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BREAK. Nothing says desperation like constantly bringing up the breakup. Whether you’re trying to reverse the breakup or play the blame game, you can’t gain any ground this way.

• DON’T APOLOGIZE. Yes, even if you’re the one who was wrong! Apologizing once again ratifies that your ex is right and you’re wrong. Which makes staying broken up a forgone conclusion!

If you want to learn the complete, step by step process to getting back together, make sure you read it through completely before trying anything. That’s because usually? You only get one good shot at a reconciliation. One good “listen” on your ex’s part.

Everything after that is an uphill climb.

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16 Signs You Just Weren’t Meant to Be Together

Ever break up with someone over and over again, but keep trying to stay in the relationship? Well you’re not alone. Everyone does this at one time or another, struggling to keep a romance alive that just doesn’t… well… fit.

The following is a big list of red flags. The more of these that apply to your current (or past) relationship? The more you probably would be better off apart.

signs-you-werent-meant-to-be-together

1. Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty All The Time

Ever feel guilty just taking time for yourself? Even doing little things with friends and family? That’s the type of guilt a relationship really doesn’t need. This is a huge sign of an overprotective, needy lover.

2. The Love Feels… One-Sided

A good relationship is a 50/50 partnership; both people love and respect each other as equals. So when you start feeling as if you love your boyfriend or girlfriend a little bit more than they love you? The balance of power shifts, and you start getting taken advantage of.

Keep in mind, this can go two ways. If your partner loves you more than you love them, you’ll feel as if they’re being clingy or needy and this can also be a huge turnoff.

3. Your Lover is Never Happy For Your Successes

Healthy couples lift each other up rather than tear each other down. So if your boyfriend or girlfriend seems constantly ‘annoyed’ when you get a promotion, succeed at something, or get good news? It’s because he or she is jealous – and insecure – of your success.

4. You Stopped Hanging Out with Your Friends During the Course of Your Relationship

This is a common one. It’s okay – and inevitable – to spend less time with friends once you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. That said, if your partner is making you feel guilty about seeing your friends at all? This is toxic, unhealthy thing… and it will eventually cause resentment on your part, leading to the demise of your relationship.

5. Your Ex Held You to Double-Standards

Was he allowed to go out with his friends, but you weren’t? Was she allowed to take trips without you, but you were forbidden to do the same? These kinds of double-standards are a sign of unhealthy jealousy. Your lover is personifying their insecurities through control, trying to keep you from doing things they themselves see no problem with doing.

6. You Argued Over Nothing. Literally.

Big fights over important stuff are one thing. But big fights spawned from little arguments over the most insignificant bullshit? That’s a sign of resentment. You and your partner are bickering over little tiny things because you resent each other for bigger, underlying reasons. The thing you’re arguing about is not the actual problem.

7. You’re Looking For Reasons to NOT See Each Other

When you start avoiding your boyfriend or girlfriend because hanging out with them seems like a ‘chore’, it’s a sure sign you’re losing interest. Either that, or you’re hanging out too much and need to back off a little and give each other some breathing room.

8. Your Relationship is Consumed by Jealousy

The most powerful and ugly of all emotions is jealousy. If you or your partner are constantly jealous of each other, especially in situations where things are nothing more than totally innocent, it’s another sign that the relationship has gone toxic.

A good, healthy relationship allows for TRUST and FREEDOMS. If you don’t have those things, jealousy will run your romance straight into the ground.

9. You Just Can’t See a Future Together

A strong relationship allows you to see long term. You and your partner get so close that you can’t imagine a life without each other, and that’s when you start planning for your future.

If you’ve been dating for a significant amount of time (more than 6 months) and you still can’t see a future with this person? It’s a sure indication that the relationship might be more of a temporary dalliance, or fling.

10. You’re Always Longing for the ‘Good Old Days’, or Wishing Things Could Be Like the Past

If you’re wishing things could be like they were “in the beginning”, it’s a sign that your relationship has devolved. Maybe it’s fighting, or arguing, or jealousy, or just plain boredom. But no matter what it is, something’s very, very wrong.

Here are 4 big signs your partner boyfriend or girlfriend loves you. If you’re still seeing some of these signs, there might be hope to save the relationship.

11. You’re Looking For Reasons to Be Mad

When being ‘right’ about something becomes more important than actually loving and caring for someone, it easily leads to picking fights. In this type of relationship you’re always chasing after that “Ah ha!” moment, to prove your lover is wrong about something. Seeking an apology all the time is another bad sign. This means you’re constantly playing the victim, looking for negative attention just so you can be ‘right’ and your lover can be ‘wrong’. That’s not a relationship anymore. It’s something worse.

12. You’re Always Trying to Outdo Each Other

A good romance is a partnership; you succeed together, and you build each other up. In short, it should feel like it’s the two of you against the rest of the world! And nothing can stop you.

So if you feel like you’re actually competing with your partner? That’s bad. It’s a sign of resentment toward each other when you’re always trying to one-up your boyfriend or girlfriend, or prove that you’re ‘better’ than they are.

13. Your Relationship is a Constant Power-Struggle

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It doesn’t make a difference, because you’re too busy fighting. When your romance devolves into an eternal power-struggle to see who’s right and who’s wrong, there’s no time left to love or respect each other. You have to stop trying to be the victor and start trying to be a partner.

14. You’re Constantly Lying About Things

If you have to lie to your boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, it’s because there’s something very, very wrong. Either they’re overly jealous, or controlling, or whatever… but something is making you fabricate lies as to where you went, who you’ve been with, and what you’ve been doing without them… even if those things are completely innocent.

15. Your Friends and Family Don’t Approve of the Relationship

We all bring home people our parents (or friends) don’t like. That said, when you look around and suddenly you’re the only one who thinks your lover is a good person? Chances are he or she might be not so great a match for you. This could include all types of abuse; physical, emotional, verbal, mental… make sure this person loves you for who you are and isn’t trying to mold you into something they desire.

16. None of the Time You Spend is Quality Time

Just hanging out? Not really going anywhere or doing anything? That’s fine, as long as you’re having fun and loving the time you spend with your partner.

However, if you look back over the last half-dozen times you spent together and can only see the fights and arguments? That’s because you’re either spending too much time together, or you’re too busy resenting each other to spend that time doing quality things.

What to Do if Your Relationship is Toxic

If you find your romance has changed from something loving and great into something toxic, there might still be time to save it. Check out these two articles that give you step by step instructions on how to fix things between you, and put you back on the right track:

For girls: How to Rekindle the Romance with your Boyfriend

For guys: How to Make Your Girlfriend Fall Back in Love With You Again

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8 Mindblowing Types of Sex You Should Have With Your EX

At one time or another we’re all guilty of it… having sex after the breakup.

So hey, if falling back into bed with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is in the cards? You might as well make it as explosively awesome as you possibly can.

sex-to-have-with-your-ex

Below you’ll find a list of ways to make the post-breakup sex so hot, so memorable, that the very act will be forever emblazoned upon yours and your ex lover’s mind.

In other words, here’s how you can make it count!

“The First Time All Over Again” Sex

This is the type of sex you have when you and your ex haven’t been with each other for months straight. When you finally do go at it, it’s like you’ve never slept together at all. Everything is suddenly new and exciting. Like you’re exploring each other for the very first time.

In some aspects it is the first time, because in many ways you’re marking a new beginning. Whether the sex is nothing more than a one-time fling or something you’ll continue to do for a while, either way, you’ll still never forget your (second) first time!

“Getting Out All Those Pent-Up Frustrations” Sex

Remember how heartbroken you were when you and your ex broke up? And how that heartbreak turned to longing, and then misery, and then finally, anger?

Well after running that full gauntlet of very powerful emotions, having sex again is like coming full circle. You screw like you’re still angry at your ex lover – and that’s because you are still angry!

Whether you’re hurt, frustrated, full of rage or even sad; you’ll take all of those things out on your partner, orgasm by orgasm. It’s like saying “Hey, I’m still really really pissed at you! Now lay back and let me show you just how much!”

This kind of sex can get violent, but in a sort of useful way. And when both partners are equally annoyed with each other over the breakup? That’s when the furniture doesn’t stand a chance!

“Cheating on Your New Partner” Sex

This is where you already have a new boyfriend or girlfriend, but you backslide. Maybe you ran into your ex by accident, or maybe you sought them out on purpose. A lonely evening. A late night text-message. The lure of having sex with your ex is just too great… and then it happens.

sex-with-your-ex

Cheating can make you feel guilty afterward. But during the sex? It can actually be a thrill.

A lot of times this will happen when you’re not sure about the person you’re with. Either you’re ready to break with them, or maybe you’re just stringing them along (you could even be hooked on your ex!). But sometimes, of course, cheating just happens. Especially if the relationship you had with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend was hotter, better, and more desirable than what you have right now.

And let’s be honest: some people cheat for the pure adrenaline rush of doing something this wrong.

Whenever you cheat on someone with your ex, the sex will always have a forbidden element to it. It’ll feel nasty. Dirty. And if you’ve already committed to cheating? As evil as it sounds, you may as well revel in these things for maximum enjoyment!

“Getting Your Ex to Cheat With You” Sex

In this scenario, your ex already has a new lover… but you sleep with them anyway. Maybe your ex sought you out, but more likely you seduced them… and probably for your own selfish reasons.

Getting an ex to sleep with you (when they’re cheating) is a lot like victory. It’s like they chose you over this new person they started dating. You’ll feel like you’ve won something, even just for the night. And again, since cheating is involved the sex will have a thrilling, forbidden edge to it. An almost dangerous, “we really can’t be doing this” feel.

If your ex boyfriend or girlfriend left you for this person, you’ll definitely feel like you’ve won. In a way you’re taking back what’s yours, and you’re screwing them over in the process. Kinda like screwing two people at once!

Now if you’re trying to sleep with your ex to get them back, that can be tricky. In that case make sure you avoid these 6 huge breakup mistakes that can quickly sabotage any chance of you actually fixing your breakup. (HINT: If you’re making more than 3 of these, you might be screwed)

“Let’s Do Something I Learned From Someone Else” Sex

Been apart a while? Had some fresh new sexual experiences, and/or tried things you really liked?

Falling back into bed with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend can be fun, but showing them stuff you learned ‘while they were gone’ can be even better. One of the cool perks to sleeping with other people is that you often find things, acts, positions, etc, that you really, really like.

When it comes to sex, it’s hot to teach. It’s equally hot to be taught. So when you sleep with an ex after being apart for a long time (and maybe had few past lovers in between)? Make sure you enjoy being the teacher as well as the student.

“Let’s Do Something We Never Did Before” Sex

And speaking of hot, one of the best things about having sex with your ex is being able to do all the stuff you never got to try.

While broken up, you’ll both be a lot more open to new sexual experiences. This is mainly because you’re now trying to please each other again, but it’s also because because some of the emotional attachment is gone. Because you’re not ‘bound’ to each other anymore, you’re not bound to the same rules of your past relationship.

What’s this mean? Threesomes, foursomes, moresomes – pretty much anything goes. Because the inhibitions are gone, you can try all sorts of sex that would normally be forbidden while you’re in an established relationship. Best of all, there’s no pressure. No awkward morning afters. Since you’re not with each other, relationship-wise anyway, most of the jealousy will no longer be present.

“Oh My God We Never Should’ve Broken Up” Sex

Everyone who’s ever tried to get back together with someone has dreamed of this type of sex. It happens when you’ve been apart a while, see each other, and then magnetically come together again.

The sex in this scenario is so wild, so uninhibited, it makes you both wonder why you broke up in the first place. It supersedes all the bullshit that caused you to drift apart, cutting through all the fighting and arguing and bringing things back to a place that’s ferociously primal and intimate.

If you’re looking to initiate this type of sex, you’d better be ready. You can screw someone’s socks off, and it’s so much fun to try!

“After This You’ll Want Me Back” Sex

This is exboyfriend/exgirlfriend sex with a goal in mind: getting back together. You’re trying to impress your former lover with sex that’s soooooo good, they can’t help but fall back in love with you.

Well, maybe not love. Not right away, anyway. Lust would be a better word, at least for now. But when you’re trying to have such great sex that your partner actually forgets why they stopped dating you? You’ll need to pull out all the stops.

Keep in mind, there are strong, often unbreakable emotional connections that ALWAYS occur whenever two people have slept together. You may be able to win this person back physically – if only for a night or two – but to win them back heart and soul? You’ll need to push on some other emotional hot buttons as well. Buttons that play upon your shared history together, and use the very best memories of your past relationship fully to your advantage.

The following two downloadable guides contain powerful reconnection techniques. They’re also individually tailored to be gender-specific, as both men and women respond to their own unique (and very different!) approaches, when it comes to needing you back in their lives again.

For Girls:  The Ex Factor Guide

Ex Factor ExBoyfriend Guide

If you’re looking for instant results? Your best bet is to spend the next few precious minutes watching this incredible free video.

Brad Browning’s ultimate guide to fixing an unwanted breakup gives you a complete, step-by-step breakdown of how you can not only win back your ex boyfriend’s heart, but INSTANTLY grab his attention through a series of emotional reconnection techniques.

The Ex Factor Guide is a system of written guidelines and video instruction that show you EXACTLY what to do next.

Whether you’re already in the reconciliation stages and need to know how to handle the reunion date, or whether you’ve had zero to no contact with your ex boyfriend, Brad takes you by the hand and leads you through the heartbreak and into the light.

Find out why he’s ignoring you. Learn the 3 simple things you can do to make your ex call you. And when you get him back? Brad Browning also shows you how to keep him. By learning how to throw out the bad and keep the good, you and your boyfriend can start a NEW relationship with a fresh, clean slate and none of the usual fighting and arguing.

For Guys:  How to Get Her Back For Good

Get Her Back For Good

Stuck on what to do next? Need expert advice on getting your girlfriend back, especially when she’s not responding?

Get Her Back For Good is an amazingly successful guide to fixing a breakup, geared entirely toward MEN. For years Dr. George Karanastasis has been demonstrating the most effective techniques for regaining your ex girlfriend’s attention and admiration through proven, solid techniques.

Ploys, tricks, mind games, mental manipulation… learn why all these approaches to fixing a breakup just don’t work. Because to get your girlfriend back and actually keep her interested? You’ll need to identify and fix the root cause of your breakup.

Within the pages of this guide you’ll learn the 5 most effective approaches to getting a girl back. Even when you think you’ve failed, and even when the situation seems absolutely hopeless? Dr. K. shows you counter-intuitive methods and techniques that will get you past ANY sticking point or hurdle.

  • Learn how to reignite the original sparks of your early relationship in your ex girlfriend’s mind.
  • Find out how you can shift the balance of power back in your favor, getting her to want you again.
  • Understand the 4 MAJOR mistakes men make that will always prevent getting back together.
  • Read real-life examples of popular breakup situations, and what needs to be done to repair them.

Get Her Back For Good is an instant download, and the methods and ideas within can be applied right away to your own situation. STOP making mistakes, and start making the right moves to get your girlfriend back, before it’s too late.

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Ex Back Review: The Magic of Making Up

You’ve heard of it. You’ve read about it. Maybe you’ve even seen one or more of T.W. Jackson’s absolutely infamous free opening moves videos in regards to breaking up.

Either way, The Magic of Making Up has been THE go-to guide for more than a decade when people are going through the very worst case scenario: an unwanted breakup.

Magic of Making Up EBook

The thing about Magic is that it’s more than just a collection of advice on what you can do to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back. It’s a STEP-BY-STEP SYSTEM that shows you exactly where you stand with your ex, where you need to be in the long run… and then it maps out an exact plan of attack showing you precisely how to get there.

And if you’re like most people? You want to get there in the shortest period of time possible. You don’t want to wait months before talking to your ex again, or risk losing your former boyfriend or girlfriend to the next person who comes along.

Relationship MASTER T.W. Jackson understands that your ex isn’t going to wait around forever, which is why he cuts through the bullshit and shows you some of the most down and dirty tricks and secrets you can use to mentally and emotionally manipulate your ex into not only wanting you back, but even BEGGING your forgiveness for leaving in the first place.

The Secrets of The Magic of Making Up EBook

One of the biggest concepts you’ll learn about in Magic is the idea that the more mistakes you make early on in your breakup? The harder it will always be to get your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend back. This is because you change the very way they see you; their opinion drops from a high level to a low one, simply because you’re doing EXACTLY the wrong things to make them see in you a favorable light.

For this reason, Jackson came up with The Calm Mind Technique. Watch this simple video and in just minutes you can learn how to clear your head of all the drama, pain, anxiety, and insecurity that’s associated with being dumped.

And once your mind is clear? You follow a much more logical – and attractive – overall thought process. Instead of being needy, you become independent. Instead of seeming insecure, you appear confident and even indifferent toward the breakup. Best of all, your heart will stop hurting.

Once you’ve stopped doing things that will drive your ex screaming in the opposite direction (i.e. constantly calling, excessively texting, acting bitter, acting angry, acting hurt, etc…) T.W. Jackson starts showing you the right things to do. And this is where the step-by-step process comes into play, because not everyone is in the same initial place when they arrive at this book.

The Magic of Making Up Videos

The videos of T.W. Jackson are a crucial part of the overall Magic process. Face to face, “T-Dub” explains the ins and outs of what your ex is going through after they disconnect from your relationship. You’ll learn which things to stay away from, and which things to focus on.

You’ll learn which reconnection techniques will be successful in making your ex come BACK to you, even getting them to call or text you within only hours or days.

You’ll find out why it’s so important to keep your emotions in check. To keep your true feelings for your ex guarded – at least for now – before you’re able to draw them toward you again. Coming on too strong, or not seeming as if you’re “accepting” of the breakup will keep your ex at an uncomfortable distance. Jackson shows you how to get past all that, and to make it so things aren’t so very weird between the two of you.

Things You’ll Learn Within the Magic of Making Up System

  • How to figure out why your ex really ended the relationship (it’s never exactly what your boyfriend or girlfriend actually tells you)
  • The best ways to get back on neutral ground, especially if you feel like everything you’re doing is pushing your ex away (because you’re working from a position of disadvantage)
  • Why NOT apologizing is probably your best course of action in getting your ex to feel like they need YOU back (rather than the other way around)
  • The 7 biggest signs your ex is still in love with you, and what you can do to use those feelings as leverage in getting them back.
  • The fastest way to make your ex miss you again (which is almost exactly the opposite of what you’re probably doing right now)
  • One very powerful bonding secret that will put your boyfriend or girlfriend instantly on your side again.
  • How to steal your ex back EVEN if they’re dating another person. Find out which nostagia tactics will rip your ex from the arms of their new lover and send them running back to you.
  • T.W. Jackson’s patented “fast-forward technique”, which can bypass the entire opening phase of the breakup and move you straight to where the healing – and reconciliation – begins

Of course there’s much more involved – too much to list here – but these are touchpoints on some of the bigger issues. Once you recognize that fixing your breakup is not about brute force and more about finesse, you’ll be able to use the above tactics to finesse your ex into wanting and needing that very magical, original relationship you once had together.

If you do nothing else, at least watch this opening moves video. It shows you the FIRST thing you need to do right after getting dumped, even if you happened to get dumped days or even weeks ago.

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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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21 Things That Will Get You Through Your Breakup

Losing a relationship is like losing a part of yourself. Especially if you’ve been dating for a while, and the two of you became entwined in each others’ lives.

How to Get Over Breakup

Still, a lot of people go through a breakup alone. They withdraw, and will often stick to themselves. Some even reach dangerous levels of depression.

But just like there are good relationships and bad ones, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to let go of someone even when you still love them. Learning how to break up is sometimes just as important as learning to fall in love, because very few of us find our soulmates the first time around.

Below is a list of ways you can help get over your ex. Learning these tactics will not only help you snap out of a bad breakup, they’ll actually help you be more attractive to everyone else, including the boyfriend or girlfriend who just dumped you.

Remove Reminders of Your Ex

The first thing you want to do, right off the bat, is to get rid of anything that will remind you of your past relationship. This includes photos, pictures, gifts, music… basically anything that you could glance at and your ex would suddenly spring to mind.

Now I know it’s not easy to just throw things things away – especially early on. This is why it’s good to just box everything up, tape the box tightly shut, and put it somewhere you won’t be tempted to look at or open it. This way you still have that stuff (on the off chance you can reverse your breakup), and a year or two from now you can deal with it much easier once any residual feelings have gone away.

Get Outside – Don’t Stay In

It’s natural to become sullen and withdrawn during a breakup. After all, a breakup is a rejection, and such a thing never makes anyone feel particularly good.

But you know what? The more you stay inside, the worse you’ll feel. The more you withdraw from friends and family, the more isolated and lost you’ll become.

So go outside, and get in the sun. Even if you just read a book or play some music, breathing in some fresh air will actually make you feel better. And if you have friends or family you can turn to? Go hang out with them. Staying busy is the purest and most effective way to get your mind off your breakup.

Exercise, Exercise, Excercise!

Want to clear your head, and everything in it? Hands down, NOTHING is better than exercise.

It doesn’t matter how you do it, but working out and getting your blood pumping will release natural endorphins that will always make you feel better. And no matter what thoughts are spinning through your head right now, a good run or a tough workout will eradicate every last one of them.

Exercise is good for your mind, body, and soul. You’ll feel better and look better, and with every drop of sweat your problems will seem to melt away. The best part of all? It’s free. It’s awesome. And you can do it every single day.

So join a gym, or go back to the one you stopped going to while you were busy dating your ex. Get involved in a spin class, a yoga class, or do Zumba, or kickboxing, or cardio.

Even better, go one step further and start doing 5k runs. Even if you can’t run fast you’ll find yourself next to hundreds of other people who simply walk them. You’ll meet new faces, start new conversations, and enjoy just being outdoors. Your ex? Your ex who?

Try Something Totally New

This is a good one to do with friends. Basically, pick something wild you’ve always SAID you were going to do. Maybe it’s scuba diving. Maybe it’s skydiving. Maybe it’s as simple as joining a team sport, or trying martial arts. Doesn’t matter really, just DO it.

You can also pick up new hobbies. Try something you’ve never done before, and take a few classes on it. Cooking classes are popular, or do pottery, or join a book club… whatever gets you out of the house and into a group setting is totally perfect for getting your mind off breaking up.

Start Dating New People

Yes, believe it or not, you CAN see other people. NO, it’s not “too soon”. NO, you don’t need some lame ‘mourning period’ to get over your ex.

Mourning periods suck, actually. They’re nothing more than a downgraded pity party you’ve somehow convinced yourself you’re entitled to. I’m not saying you should go out with just anyone, but you should be more than open to the idea.

And hey, you don’t have to fall in love either. Right now it’s about getting out and doing things. Having fun. Whomever makes you happiest, roll with that person, even if the relationship isn’t going anywhere serious. And if it is? Roll with that too. And try not to focus on your ex (or compare this new person to them). That will only make both of you miserable.

Other Ways to Get Over Your Breakup

If you’ve already tried the 6 Step to Get Back With Your Ex, and nothing’s worked? Well, it might be time to let go. But you want to let go the right way, otherwise you’ll be stuck in the past for a very long time.

First, try the Clear Mind Technique. The Free Video is Here. This is an amazing tool for relieving the pain of a breakup, and creating a calm place in your mind where you don’t have to feel sick, or anxious, or sad about losing your relationship anymore. Do it one time and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Beyond that, you might be tempted to become “friends” with your ex. If that’s the case, make sure you read up on: What to Do When Your Ex Just Wants to Be Friends.

In any case, all breakups take time to heal. Emotional bonds don’t just dissolve overnight, and if its any comfort at all, your ex is going through many of the same symptoms of relationship withdrawal you are.

Ultimately however, it’ll all be okay. So chin up, get outside, and get OVER your ex!

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Texting Your Ex – 3 Fast Texts That Will Re-Open the Lines of Communication

It’s hard to stay silent after a breakup. Especially when so many connections still linger between you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

Texting Your Ex

Some of those connections will be emotional. No matter how a relationship ends, it always began with fire and passion. The start of every romance is filled with overwhelming amounts of attraction, and in time, strong emotional bonds and feelings are formed that are most times hard to break.

Other connections will be electronic, such as Facebook, Instagram, and especially texting.

In fact, more than 75% of all breakups don’t end at the phone; texting between those people continue, whether they end up getting back together with an ex or not.

If you’re in the situation where you’d like to fix your breakup, you’ll need to know HOW and WHEN to communicate with your ex. Calling at the wrong time, or saying the wrong thing, can often lead to disastrous results. You may have already experienced some of that, and your breakup already got off on the wrong foot.

Texting, just like calling, has its own set of rules and etiquettes. Should you still text with your ex? When is it okay to send a message? Even more important: what should you text to your ex when you want them back?

Below are three very quick ways you can use text-messaging to break the awkward silence after a breakup. Read them carefully first, and before doing anything else, make sure you know every single one of the rules and regulations of post-relationship texting, as these will help prepare you for your former lover’s response.

#1) The ‘I’m on Your Side Now’ Text

Most people who get dumped fight too hard too soon. Yes, you want the relationship back, but what you don’t understand is that right now? Your ex will do everything in his or her power to deflect any points you might make in that regard.

The longer you try to get your ex back, the worse things get. Your former lover will see you as pushing too hard, not taking no for an answer, and looking totally lame (and desperate) in the process.

What your ex doesn’t expect however, is for you to suddenly be on the same page as them. Which is why this first text works so well:

“Hey, I’m totally with you now on the whole breakup thing. We really ARE better off apart. Sorry it took so long for me to get it, but at least I did
before we started hating each other (LOL). Take it easy!”

This is essentially a brush-off. Your ex already rejected you as a partner, and this is your chance to counter-reject them. And now that you’re NOT fighting them tooth and nail to stay together with them? Your ex sees you as more of an equal – and even an ally – rather than someone beneath them trying to claw their way back to their level.

This text might seem pretty final, yet it’s anything but. Consider it the first stepping stone on the road to getting back together again.

Here’s a great video all about this opening move. Be sure to watch the whole thing, because it helps you better visualize what to do next.

#2) The Congratulatory or Happy Birthday Text

The only contact you should be making with your ex right now is welcomed contact. Anything else, and your ex will take it as you grasping desperately to get the relationship back (and you never, ever want to look desperate).

Congratulations is always welcome, especially if it’s something you know your ex has been trying to do for a long time. So if your ex graduated? That’s a great text to send him or her. If your ex got a recent promotion, or bought a new car, or something else happened that’s good in their life? Again, this is a good excuse to send them a very small, very simple:

“Hey, I heard you finally got promoted. Good deal! Hope everything’s great by you.”

This is an ice-breaker, and an innocent one as well. It also works with birthdays. And the longer you dated your boyfriend or girlfriend? The better this techniques works. You already shared big parts of your lives with each other, so it will only seem natural to share a quick congratulations on something that happened afterward.

#3) The ‘Familiarity’ Text Message

With this one, you want to use something you know your ex is familiar with. Preferably something you shared or loved together, while you were still dating.

Did you like a certain movie, and the sequel is coming out? How about music; did you attend a concert together, and that band is coming around again? A television series you always watched, and a new season is coming out?

“Hey, Survivor starts tonight! Had to tell you, in case you forgot to set your DVR!”

This is a conversation-starter. Chances are good your ex will ask what this season of Survivor is about, and who might be on it. If the conversation goes well, you might mention how much you miss watching it together. And if it goes very well, maybe your ex will invite you over – platonically or not – to enjoy it with them.

Basically, you need to pick something that was ‘yours’ together. Something cool and fun that will spark nothing but good memories of old times between you. Your goal is to put yourself back in your ex’s head, without really doing anything obvious. This right here is a great way to do it.

There are many other ways to get your ex’s attention again, even without the use of text messages. But again, you need to know when to do it… how to do it… before even thinking about making that first, tentative contact.

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6 Huge Misconceptions About Staying Friends With Your Ex

“Let’s be friends…” Sounds good, right? As if you and your ex will still be able to see each other, talk to each other, even hang out together and have some more good times?

Anthony Malibu - Stay Friends With Ex

It’s win-win for everyone, at least in your mind. The relationship is over but the contact doesn’t have to end.

The closeness you shared doesn’t have to go away, because you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are going to defy they odds; somehow, you’re going to make the post-breakup friendship work, even if it kills you. Right?

Yeah, right.

The sad truth of things is this: there are two possible scenarios after someone breaks up with you. One, is that you no longer want or need them in your life. And in that case, you go your separate ways.

The second scenario is where your lover breaks up with you, but you keep hanging on. Since you weren’t ready for the romance to end, you’re looking for any excuse – no matter how thin – to stay in touch and actually be with them again.

It’s for this reason that many people JUMP at the chance to “stay friends” when their ex offers it. They’re not ready to let go. They think that being friends with an ex can help get them back, or that eventually this person will realize how much they miss being your boyfriend or girlfriend, and jump back into a relationship with and date them again.

Unfortunately, it’s not even close to that easy.

Going from friends to lovers – after you’ve dated already – is mostly a fantasy. It happens in books, in movies. It happens in real life too, but the ‘lovers’ thing lasts only for one night, and afterward your ex goes back to their single life, leaving you feel used and cheated.

In short, you cannot be friends with an ex if you still love them.

PERIOD. End of story. If you’re honest with yourself and you know that you still have feelings, staying friends with this person is only going to hurt ten times as much.

And not only that… it’s going to push your ex away, too. Every breakup has a window of opportunity for reversing itself; EVERY single time someone dumps you there’s always a way back.

But when you become friends with that person? The road back into their heart becomes that much longer. It’s an uphill climb, and you’ve basically decimated your chances of making them need you again.

Below are 6 of the biggest myths involving getting back together after staying friends with your ex. By the time you’re finished reading them, you’ll understand exactly why the road back into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart does NOT lead through some made-up “friendship”.

Myth 1 – As Friends, You’ll Still Keep in Constant Contact

Sorry, but no. First of all, your ex dumped you for a reason. He or she no longer sees you as datable, and they’re going to be looking somewhere (and at someone) else.

So will your new ‘friend’ still call and text and email with you? Yeah, sure. For a while. But the second this person finds somebody else, or even gets interested in somebody else, that contact will drop off so fast it’ll make your head spin and your heart sink.

Also, the amount of contact will never be the same. It won’t be anywhere near the amount of texts and calls you made to each other during the relationship. As such, it’ll be a disappointment for you. You’ll wonder why your ex isn’t staying in touch as much as he or she used to, and that will make you wonder what ELSE they’re doing without you.

Myth 2 – As Friends, You and Your Ex Will Still Hang Out

Sure. Maybe. But again, nowhere NEAR as much as before.

For the most part, your ex will call you when they have nothing to do. Remember: they’re single now, and they’ve got a whole new list of things they can do without you.

This list includes seeing old friends, going places, being in groups where they can potentially meet other people… and you staying at home and watching these things from the outside. When your ex does include you in these events, you’ll watch jealously as your former boyfriend or girlfriend ends up talking to other people (and potential dates). You’ll feel awkward, having been downgraded to “just a friend”, and you won’t know where your place is.

And yes, your ex might even come over for sexual reasons. You’ll hook up, even though you’re no longer dating. The sex will be good, and you’ll have a great time, and in the back of your mind you’ll tell yourself that you can handle it. But you know what? You can’t. Because residual feelings and emotional bonds will make you want MORE than just friends with benefits.

Can sleeping with your ex help get them back? Read LOTS more about that here.

Myth 3 – Staying Friends Lets You Keep Track of Your Ex

Somewhat, yes. You’ll still be Facebook friends, you’ll still follow your ex on Instagram, and you’ll still be privy to some of the things he or she does every day.

Your ex will also call and text you. They’ll tell you about their day, get some advice from you at times, and all that other good stuff friends do. That part is true, to an extent.

But you know what? Anything your ex doesn’t want you to see will remain a mystery. Anything they think will hurt your feelings will be something they HIDE from you. And because you’re no longer dating this person, you can’t even push for details. You’re not entitled to know where your ex went anymore, or who he/she hung out with, or when they got back from the bar or club.

This will ultimately drive you crazy: the not knowing. Seeing only PART of the picture is worse than seeing nothing at all. You’ll have no power over your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s actions, and this will frustrate you lots more than if you didn’t know anything about their life. In that respect, being friends with an ex is worse than a standard breakup.

Myth 4 – Being Friends Will Draw You Closer Together

Another misconception is that friendship simplifies the relationship. You’re no longer dating so you no longer have to fight. No more arguing, no more petty jealousy, no more “you didn’t call or text me back…” – that stuff flies out the window, leaving behind a nice, peaceful interaction between the two of you.

To an extent this is actually true. However, understand that as the friendship goes on, your ex will ONLY see you as a friend. Eventually, that’s all you really become to them.

Why? Because you’ve made the whole thing so comfortable. You’ve created a situation that’s better than actually dating them. If your ex is enjoying most (or all) of the benefits of having you around, with none of the drawbacks or limitations of an actual relationship, why the HELL would he or she want to ever go back to dating you again? You’ve created a stress-free Utopian paradise that they’ll never really want to leave!

Myth 5 – Old Sparks Will Eventually Start Flying Again

Wrong. Mostly because being around each other is an awkward situation for the both of you.

Sorry, but this type of friendship is never TRULY a friendship. One person ‘won’ the breakup, and the other person lost it. The loser is you, which means that your boyfriend or girlfriend still holds all the cards right now. They know you still have feelings for them (no matter how well you’ve convinced yourself you’ve hidden it). And because of that, they’ll always hold power over you.

While you both pretend to be buddies with each other, your ex will never really open his or her heart to you. Not fully, and not while they still believe you WANT them.

Getting back together with an ex is all about making them NEED you again. They have to miss you. You have to actually go away.

None of those things happened so far, if you’re still palling around with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. They can’t possibly miss you when all they need to do is look down at their phone and see that you’ve been talking to them every single day.

Sexual sparks might fly, as we talked about above, but those will mostly be one-shot deals. Your ex will get horny, and you’ll be a very likely candidate for sex. Still, this doesn’t usually mean anything. And in the cases where the sex didn’t mean much to your ex, you’re definitely going to get hurt.

Myth 6 – Your Ex Will Ultimately ‘See the Light’ & Want You Back

It’s almost a bit sad, but this has to be said: your ex rejected you for a reason. And until you find out exactly what that reason was – and correct it – you’re never going to convince your ex to get back together as a couple with you.

Again, it goes back to comfort. As long as your former lover is made comfortable around you, he or she has ZERO INCENTIVE to take you back. First of all, it’s obvious you still want them. It’s obvious you’re staying friends with an ulterior motive. And as long as they know this? They’ll always feel comfortable in knowing they can get you back anytime they want to.

This keeps the breakup going. It makes it last and last. That’s because for your ex, there’s no downside. They get to play the field and look for someone better while you’re still circling around them in a holding pattern waiting for table scraps.

Harsh? Yeah. But it’s also the truth. And if you REALLY want a relationship rather than a friendship, you’re going to have to face those hard truths in order to get past the idea of “staying friends” after breaking up.

What to Do If You’ve Become Friends With Your Ex

Already friends with your ex? You have only one real opening move. The sooner you make it, the sooner you can break out of the Friend Zone and start on the actual path to winning your lover back.

Remember: the window of opportunity is there. But it doesn’t stay open forever. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. And the more you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the role of “just a friend” with your ex? The further away you’ll always be.

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My Girlfriend Wants to Break Up With Me… Help!

Hi Anthony,

I came across your name on an article I found on the internet and I hope you can take a few mins of your time to read my problem, thanks.

Firstly I am a 28 year old male. I was going out with my ex GF for 3.5 years but we broke up just over a week ago.

apologize-to-ex-anthony-malibu

It all started 2 weekends ago when we were at a wedding and I was seated beside a gorgeous looking girl. I recognised her from college and remembered a mate of mine used to fancy her so I texted him saying that she was at the wedding and that she was looking hot etc..

The next day my girlfriend saw the text on my phone and said she was leaving me for good! I thought this was a bit drastic seen as I meant no harm whatsoever when I sent the text!

After a couple of hours of her crying she said she over-reacted slightly and that she didn’t want to break up with me and that she was just upset because she thought I fancied the other girl. Then she went to meet a female friend for about 6 hours!!

The next day she seemed to be in a mood with me again and had to leave town for a few days due to work reasons. It was her birthday then the following day and I arrived at her hotel as a surprise but she told the manager not to let me up to the room!! I couldn’t believe it.. So I rang her immediately and she was crying saying that she didn’t deserve what I did to her and that I ruined her birthday for the 2nd year in a row (the previous year I was coming to terms with her telling me that she had kissed her ex twice, so when I got drunk 1 night I texted my ex that’s all). She said she needed a few days space so I respected that and only texted her 2 or 3 times during the following 5 days.. She also said that she wasn’t going to break up with me but she needed time to get over the upset that was caused.

So the following Monday (6 days later) she arrived over to our apartment and said she wanted to break up! She said her self-esteem was ruined and that it was all my fault. She is very insecure and blames me. She is stunning looking and could get any guy she wanted but she feels that she’s not good looking enough for me and says that I should get a better looking girl for myself.. NOT TRUE! During this conversation she kept saying that she didn’t know what she wanted because she was confused but that it wasn’t fair on me to be waiting around for her to make her mind up. She said that she was holding me back and that it killed her to think that I would now be able to find myself another girlfriend..

She then left the apartment in tears saying that it was over!

That was 9 days ago.. I haven’t heard from her since. I have texted her twice in the last 9 days just to say “I hope you are ok and I’m sorry for hurting you”. She never replied!

Why did she suddenly change her mind? 3 weeks ago she told me she was so happy in our relationship and she wanted to marry me someday. She also cried 1 day to me a few weeks ago asking why I was with her when I could be with any other girl.. I don’t want any other girl. In our 3.5 years relationship I never cheated on her.. So she is obviously insecure. Ya we fight at times but who doesn’t? Over-all we used to get on great..

A few other things worth mentioning…

1) Even now her status on facebook says she is in a relationship.
2) We still have our apartment leased, neither of us are staying there, all her stuff is still there though.
3) She is checking my e-mails, I don’t mind this, but if she wants to break up with me why is she checking up on me??

So do you have any idea what’s going on in her mind? Is there any possibility I can get her back even though she won’t reply to my texts?

Thanks so much for reading this and hope to hear from you soon.

Liam

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Liam!

Sorry to hear about your girl trouble. The scenario is pretty familiar, and the word INSECURITY jumped to mind way before you mentioned it in the 2nd paragraph.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. You’re entitled to have conversations and text-messages with your friend, and you’re entitled to bring up your past. The problem your girlfriend has with your past is that she wasn’t involved in it.

I think the healthiest relationships don’t have anything to hide, and I’ve never advocated password-protecting your phone or email accounts. The fact that you didn’t shows loyalty and maturity. Yet the fact that your ex is checking your email AND checked that text-message (the very next day?) shows that she’s extremely insecure and needy.

To say she overreacted is an understatement. If I were you, I would’ve been pissed. Then she apologized (which was pretty big of her), but refusing to allow you up to her hotel room was more than a little suspicious.

Most people are insecure for a reason. I’m not trying to alarm you, but a girl who’s constantly afraid you’re cheating on them (checking texts, email, etc…) or looking for someone hotter than her MAY already be cheating on you. It’s entirely possible she’s not, but people tend to channel their own guilt into insecure actions such as checking up on you, maybe even hoping (on some level) to catch you doing the same thing(s) they are.

When you said she went to see a female friend for six hours, you seemed shocked by that. Were you sure it was a female friend? The fact that she’d kissed her ex a year ago has me suspicious of that. Insecure girls *always* tend to fall back on past relationships for comfort when their current relationship hits a bump in the road. They can’t stand the thought of being alone, and it’s always easier to go back to someone who loves or loved them.

Overwhelmingly suspicious is the fact that you went all the way out to her hotel on a business trip, yet she refused to let you up to her room. Sorry bro, but I just don’t buy that. This girl is away on business after having had trouble with her boyfriend. She should be missing you like crazy and thrilled that you’re there, not turning you away in the hotel lobby. As tough as it is to say, the only thing that would keep her from seeing you would be if she already had someone there with her. Whether it be an ex or a coworker or whomever it was, she didn’t want you up because you didn’t want to get caught.

I’d question whether or not this girl is relying on someone else. At best, it could be only for comfort. At worst, she could be cheating on you. Women like this tend to build things up in their mind, and she probably worked that one little text-message you sent your friend into a big huge deal. When it got big enough, maybe she used it as an excuse to do her own thing. It’s a pretty lame way of justifying her actions, but insecurity can really blow things out of proportion.

Either way, this girl is crazy insecure. Mad at you for calling another girl hot? This is high school bullshit. After three and a half years of dating and some talk of marriage, you both should be way beyond this level of immaturity. You certainly seem to be, but she does not.

Texting her twice in the last nine days was a bad move. Apologizing was even worse. You’re essentially owning up to doing something bad, when in reality you didn’t do anything at all. This gives her justification: “He knows he fucked up!” and she gets to continue to ride the wave. It’s a lot easier to crucify you for something you ‘did’ to her (and damaging her self-esteem? Come on…) than it is to admit she’s just being an immature asshole. Insecure over another girl’s looks… jeeze, it’s like 10th grade all over again.

So what do you do? Well, for starters you need to call her one more time. If she answers, great. If not, you leave a message:

“Listen, I’m out. This is high school drama and I really don’t need it. I just wanted to let you know I’m done, so you don’t go crying that I left or abandoned the relationship without saying anything. Good luck.”

That’s it. After that, shut off your phone for a while. Don’t answer if she calls back, and don’t bother even logging in to read your email. Let her chew on this for a while, and let her worry that she’s finally pushed you too far. You’re fed up, you’re done, and she might’ve gotten you to the point of no return.

THESE things will get her on the phone rather quickly, I’d imagine. Unless she’s currently wrapped up with another guy, I’d say she calls you before the day is out. And even if she doesn’t? That’s fine too. It’s time to stop apologizing and start moving in the other direction. If she really does love you and wants to keep you as her boyfriend, she’ll need to come back on YOUR terms. That means an apology on her part, with no further apology from you.

If she brings up the subject of that text again, blow it off. Don’t even defend against it. Say something like:

“This again? Are you serious? We’re in our late 20’s, and we’re arguing over whether I called some other girl hot in a text-message you intercepted to my best friend? We might as well pass notes in study hall, because this is some real immature shit.”

Let her start questioning herself. Let her start to say: “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” This is the best way to get past this baby-crap, not by apologizing.

If she does come back, and you do decide to remain a couple? Pull her aside and talk with her. Tell her you really do love her, but that you’d like to take the relationship past all the baby bullshit and onto the next level. Tell her that although hot girls DO exist in the world, you only have eyes for her, and she should feel comfortable in knowing that you think she’s the hottest girl of all. And she’s YOUR girl, and that should be good enough for her.

If she does come back, let her know you want the drama taken down a few notches. Don’t give up control. Stay strong. Don’t apologize every five minutes because she blames you for something. She’s primarily responsible for her OWN happiness, and you shouldn’t be blamed for her insecurities. The more you bow your head and say you’re sorry, the more she feels vindicated in abusing your love for her.

Good luck man, and let me know how it turns out. It’s tough dating hot chicks. And if I were you, I’d seriously check up on what she’s doing… if only for your own edification.

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6 Huge Mistakes Everyone Makes Right After a Breakup

If you’re trying to reverse or fix your breakup, the most crucial time is the beginning. This is when most people – guys and girls – make the biggest and most devastating of mistakes while trying to “fight for the relationship”.

Anthony Malibu - Breakup Mistakes

These mistakes can sabotage your future. They often destroy any chance of getting back together, depending on which of them you make and how badly you botch them.

For this reason, you need to make sure you know what you’re doing. Acting out just for the sake of ‘doing something’ might be tempting, especially because it’s hard to sit still, but you need to realize that immediately after a breakup? Doing the wrong thing is ten times worse than doing nothing at all.

Below is a list of 6 big mistakes people make immediately after getting dumped. Some are bad, others are worse, but ALL of them are avoidable if you’re willing to exercise a little self-control.

And if you’ve already made some of these errors? Well, things might be bad but they can always improve. Halting these behaviors and actually turning your ex around can have a positive effect on how your former boyfriend or girlfriend sees you. And this, in turn, can lead to a reconciliation… if you play your cards right.

Resisting the Breakup

This is the first mistake people make, and it starts off a long, slippery slope of losing control. Fighting “for” the relationship, as if you could actually change your ex’s mind right now, is only going to push your boyfriend or girlfriend even further away.

Every breakup has the same goal: you need to show your ex that he or she was wrong. That breaking up isn’t really what they want, and that it’s better to be with you.

So when you fight and rage (and cry and scream) against the breakup? You’re essentially showing your ex that they were right. All of a sudden you look desperate, which in turn makes your ex say “Wow… this person needs me a LOT more than I need them. How come I never saw this before?”

From there, your ex’s mind is made up. Leaving you was the right move, for obvious reasons. I mean, just look at you, still in denial. Surely they could do better?

Sulking, Pouting, or Getting Angry

There are many emotional stages of a breakup, and they line up pretty well with the well-known stages of grief. But to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? These behaviors can make or break how they look at you as a person – and a potential partner – later on.

Your first instinct will be to grieve. You’ll sulk and get all depressed about the loss. You’ll also think that your ex will actually care for your feelings… almost like you can guilt them into coming back because you look so forlorn and glum. Reality however, is different. Because the more you pout, the more depressed you seem? The more LAME your boyfriend or girlfriend will consider your actions.

Anger is another bad move. Some people, especially guys, will get angry and lash out after being dumped. This is where you’ll say things you don’t mean; things you can’t take back later on. If you want to someday date this person again, you’ll need to avoid being angry about the breakup.

Being Needy and Desperate Toward Your Ex

Did you beg your ex to reconsider? Plead with them not to let go of “a good thing”?

Did you promise to change? Demand to know why this person broke up with you? (Hint: they’ll never fully tell you the exact reason, unless you’re willing to make this opening move)

Afterwards, did you stalk your ex on Facebook? Constantly check their Instagram? Did you send tons of text-messages to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, but only got a few (if any) of them answered?

If you did any of the above things, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot. Already you’ve come off as needy and desperate. This is a HUGE turnoff as far as your ex is concerned. The confident, fun, secure person they fell in love with is now this clingy, whiny, crying mess.

NO ONE wants to date someone like that. So the longer you do this stuff? The further you get from making your ex want you back (and the creepier it is overall).

Making Unwanted Contact

Nothing will shove your ex in the opposite direction more than unwanted contact. And yes, this means ALL manner of communication you can have with your ex, no matter how ‘innocent’ or purely platonic/friendly you think that contact might be.

Look at it this way – to get your ex back, they first need to MISS you. And they can’t possibly miss you if you’re calling, texting, emailing, Facebooking, Instagramming, and basically stalking them day and night. Even worse, the more you do these things? The more your ex gets annoyed with you. Turned off by you.

The more you do these things, the less VALUE you have in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s eyes.

What you need to do is contact your ex at the RIGHT time. It has to happen at a natural point in the breakup, where contact will be welcome and they’ll actually be happy to hear from you again.

Learn lots more about how and when to contact your ex here.

Not Using Nostalgia Tactics to Get Your Ex Back

The good news about breaking up is that you have a distinct advantage when it comes to winning your partner back. And that’s because you share a pretty important, very well-remembered past history together.

The past is something that always changes. As time goes on, your ex will tend to forget the bad things (i.e. the fighting, arguing, jealousy, etc…) and remember only the good ones. Those first awesome memories – the ones you yourself cherish? Those are the same memories your ex also enjoys going back to time and time again.

These memories can help your ex change his or her mind about losing you for good, if you’re willing to use these reconnection techniques during your reconciliation process. Read up on them carefully, because for best results they MUST be used correctly and at exactly the right time.

In total there are actually 12 deadly mistakes you can make after breaking up. And some of them are instant relationship-killers, so be especially wary of those.

Learn what the other six errors are, and be sure you’re not committing any of them before going on.

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