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Why Does My Ex Still Text Me?

In the old days, a breakup was a breakup. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and you’d go on with your life.

Anthony Malibu - Why Does my Ex Text Me

But in today’s digital age? There are still DOZENS of connections between you and your ex, even after the relationship ends. Photo albums, Facebook posts, Instagram messages, emails… and of course, the hundreds or even thousands of text messages you shared during the time when the two of you were dating.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Why would he or she be keeping up text-message contact, even though you’re no longer together?

Sometimes the answer is simple; your ex is still thinking about you. You’ve left their life, maybe for good, but you still haven’t left their train of thought.

Imagine how many times you texted your boyfriend or girlfriend over the course of your romance with them. Every morning, every night… all through the day. So even now, their daily routine of talking to you is pretty standard. It’s still keeping you ‘together’, at least on a text-based level.

Other times, the answer is a bit more complicated. That’s because there are always residual feelings and emotions to deal with any time two people break up.

These are the deep-seeded ties that bound you while you were in love with each other. The ones that were so powerful in the beginning. The ones that made it so that you couldn’t keep away from each other, and wanted to spend every minute of every day together, no matter what.

And these powerful connections? They stick around for a while. They just don’t go instantly away because someone said three simple works: “let’s break up”.

An ex will text you for a number of reasons. All of them are generally signs of interest. So if you’re looking to patch things up, or try and get back together again? The fact that your ex is staying on touch with you, even on your tiny little 4-inch cellphone screen? Yeah, it’s still a pretty good thing.

The 8 Big Reasons You’ll Receive Texts From Your Ex

Below you’ll find a list of reasons why your ex is still texting you. Some mean little in the grand scheme of things, but others are a lot more telling when it comes to how your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend truly feels about you.

Your Ex Misses You… Big Time

Let’s face it, when dating someone you get used to spending an awful lot of time together. You see each other, open up about your lives, and tell each other all about daily events. It’s something you’re accustomed to, and so is your ex.

This is why you might still get the occasional message, even after being apart. Your ex is simply thinking about you. He or she misses the contact, and is reaching out for something as simple as someone to talk to, or to bounce ideas off of, like in the old days.

He or She is Used to Contacting You Every Day

Texting back and forth all day, every day, is something you’ve both taken for granted during your relationship. So if you’ve been doing it for months, even years? It’s something you – as well as your ex – might still be tempted to do.

A lot of times people think this type of text-messaging is innocent: “Oh, I like to talk to him/her, but I don’t want to get back together or anything…”

In reality? ALL texting means something. There’s no “innocent” contact when it comes to your ex, unless you’re making that one final phone call to get your stuff back. An ex who is still hammering out a bunch of small-talk on your cellphone all day is an ex who isn’t yet ready to lose you completely.

Your Ex Wants to Be Friends After the Breakup

This reason is always a hidden agenda. Believe me when I say there’s no such thing as 100% strictly platonic friends “with an ex”. That doesn’t happen, not even in movies.

Once you’re intimate with someone, that’s IT. The dynamic between you is forever changed. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. It’s common knowledge.

Yet some people will continue deluding themselves that somehow, some way, they can be ‘friends’ with someone they dated. As if one person doesn’t still love the other person just a little bit more… tilting the scales so that the balance of power always denotes a breakup “winner” and a breakup “loser”.

If your ex wants to be friends it’s because he or she WANTS something. Most of the time, it’s information. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you in their life as a security blanket; something to hold onto in case being single doesn’t work out for them. Your “friendship” is a tool. A way for your ex to have his/her cake and eat it too.

Your Ex is Checking Up on You Through Your Phone

Other times, an ex will just want to see where you are. It’s comforting to know that you haven’t moved on, haven’t started dating, and didn’t meet anyone else since the two of you went your separate ways.

Why is this? Does your ex hate you? Do they want to see you fail? Well, no and yes. No, they don’t hate you. But yes, it’s human nature to want to see you worse off than when you were with them.

In short, your ex wants to be right. They would like to believe that breaking up with you was the right move, so they use text-messages to “keep in touch” under the guise of innocent contact. Which, of course, it’s not.

He or She Drunk Texted You

Drunk-calling has now been replaced by drunk texting. This is when it’s late at night, your ex has been drinking, and his or her thoughts inevitably turn toward you.

This is a HUGE SIGN OF INTEREST! Being drunk, your defenses are always down. That’s when your true feelings rise to the surface, unhindered by any inhibitions or walls you may have been putting up.

This means your ex secretly thinks about you a lot more than you think. The alcohol acts as a catalyst for contact; rather than refrain from calling or texting you while they were sober, your drunk exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is free to do whatever they want… and blame it on the alcohol later on.

Your Ex is Nostalgic About Your Past History Together

Know why people get back together? Because the beginning of every relationship is AMAZING.

Think about that. Go back to those first few weeks (a.k.a. the ‘honeymoon phase’) of your relationship and tell me it wasn’t the best thing in the whole world. Tell me the feelings weren’t explosively powerful. Tell me the sex wasn’t Rock Star levels of Godliness.

When your ex is lonely, he or she will think back to those early times. The good times, before all the bullshit. Before all the fighting and arguing and stupid jealousy that probably broke you up.

Fixing a breakup is all about bringing these feelings back again. There are some really great methods and techniques for making your ex remember how much they really love being with you, if you’re willing to sit down and learn them.

Your Ex Wants to Hook Up, Meet Up, Have Sex, Etc…

This one is the Booty Call. The unapologetic “hey, let’s hang out” text that ends up in bed with the two of you rolling around naked. And hey, that’s okay. Sex is actually a big part of getting back together.

Take this text for what it is; your ex is still physically attracted to you. Whether or not that leads to a more emotional and permanent connection is still up in the air, but at least you’re moving in the right direction.

Your Ex is Feeling You Out on the Subject of Getting Back Together

In the final stages of a breakup, right before you get back together again, your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend will try and gauge your feelings. They’d like to know that if they suggested giving your romance another chance, they’re not going to be rejected or shot down.

That’s where this text comes in. Your partner will usually be more overt about his or her intentions here, asking factual questions about where you are, how you’ve been doing (emotionally), and whether or not you’re dating someone else. You’ll also get “do you miss me?” and “do you remember when we used to XYZ?” a lot, which is his or her way of trying to remind you of how good you were together.

A former lover who gets nostalgic or reminiscent about the past is a lover who wants to create future times with you. So yeah, your ex is probably about to ask you out again. Roll with it, if that’s what you want, and encourage such contact. Then see where it goes.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

In the end, there are lots of signs and signals your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will give off when they’re showing interest in you again. Spotting these signs, and then knowing what to do about them? Well, that’s the tricky part.

Why does me ex text me? Truth is, it’s an extension of your past relationship. Breakups HURT. Messaging back and forth can alleviate that pain, even if just for a little while.

All said, timing is everything when it comes to reconciling. You need to make the right moves, at the right times, while avoiding all of the wrong ones.

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The ONE Thing You Must Do When She Just Wants to Be Friends

For every guy in a relationship there are three in the FRIEND ZONE. Three lost souls stuck in a hopeless limbo, unable to escape to that one magical place they never stop fantasizing about: the position of actually being the boyfriend.

For some people, the Friend Zone can come after a relationship. You’re dating some girl, things are going great (or so you think), and all of a sudden she hits you with those horrible, dreaded words:

Anthony Malibu - Let's Just Be Friends

“I think we’d be better off as friends

Your heart sinks. Your mouth tastes like you just swallowed a bottle of glue.

FRIENDS? REALLY?

So how’d it happen? Could it be that all of a sudden she doesn’t ‘like’ you like that?

Were you boring? Were you lame? Was the sex not good? Exactly how the hell did you manage to get demoted from boyfriend status to someone who’s now “just a friend”?

The Two Main Reasons a Girl Will Friend-Zone You

Truth be told, there are only two big reasons a girl will pick you up and hurl you into the Friend Zone. The first one is obvious: she’s into someone else. There’s some other guy she’d like to date, or potentially like to try to date, and in order to do that she needs to be free of you.

“Friending” you could easily be a way for her to let you down easy. However, it could also be a way of keeping you ‘around’. It’s always nice to know someone still likes you, wants you, and would come back to you at any time. This gives her freedom. Choices. She can try to do something (or someone) better than you, and if it doesn’t work out? Well, there you are. That happy little “friend” she kept on the back burner for that rainy day.

The other reason a girl you’re dating will suddenly want friendship over a relationship is because you’re not being assertive as her boyfriend. In this case she’s friending you because you’re acting like a friend. You’re too passive, too wishy-washy. You’re acting less like her man and more like her ‘buddy’.

Check out this list and see if any of these things sound familiar:

  • You’re doting on her. Constantly. To the point of being annoying.
  • You tell your girlfriend how much you love her WAYYYY more than she tells you.
  • You’ve put her up on a pedestal. To the point where you’re worshipping her as a princess rather than dating her as an equal.
  • You say you’re “sorry” all of the time. Which is weak. Very weak.
  • You buy her stuff consistently, almost to where it feels like (on her end) a payment plan for going out with you.
  • You don’t take the lead. You’re always asking her what “she wants to do”, rather than planning things yourself and actually taking her out.
  • Your dates aren’t very romantic. You take her mundane places and/or hang out with groups of people rather than wine and dine her alone.
  • You’re never assertive. You never grab her and kiss her, or initiate getting physical. Rather you wait for her to do these things, thinking it’s ‘gentlemanly’ to do so.

All of these activities will get you Spartan-kicked into the Friend Zone. FAST. Girls won’t hang with guys like this, and certainly won’t stay with them. They don’t make them feel safe and protected. They don’t make them feel desired in the ways a woman wants a man to desire them. And that’s because your actions are more friendly than romantic.

If you’ve never dated this girl before, here are 3 big ways you can instantly escape the Friend Zone. And hey, you’re welcome.

But if you’re already in a relationship, and your girlfriend suddenly thinks you’d be “better off as friends”? Immediate and decisive action is necessary.

The only way to keep her is to turn her around. Change how she sees you, or how she thinks she sees you. So stop her mid-sentence. Grab her, kiss her, and tell her:

“I don’t want a friend. I want YOU. We’re good together, and there’s no planet in the universe where I can see us being ‘just friends’ with each other.”

It’s firm. It’s assertive. It’s a strong counter to what she’s trying to do. And if she persists? Tell her:

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you as my girlfriend. You’re awesome. Too awesome to just be my friend. So either we date or we don’t date, and both options are cool with me. But I’m flat out telling you, there’s no middle ground.”

In most cases, your girlfriend won’t be ready for this. She’s looking to “try” the breakup out, almost like a gift she can return if she’s not happy with it. Instead, you’re giving her a no refunds policy. You’re telling her (not asking her) in no uncertain terms what’s going to happen next. In short, you’re taking the reins.

From there, you have your work cut out for you. Start being the guy she WANTS and not the all-too accommodating, girlfriend-worshipping pushover you have been. Step up your game. Take her places that give her no doubt in her mind that you are her boyfriend and nothing else.

Check out this list of traits women find attractive in men. As you start to exhibit them, you’ll find yourself much more successful – both in life, your job, and also with women – than you’ve ever been before.

And if you’re already ‘on a break’ or you’ve already agreed to be friends with your girlfriend? Check out this complete 6-step process on How to Win Her Back.

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3 Simple Tricks That Will Make Your ExGirlfriend Come Running Back

When it comes to fixing a breakup, a lot of guys think they know what they’re doing. They see the problem as a matter of cause and effect: first you find out what the problem is, and then you come up with a solution.

Anthony Malibu - Get Her Back

Ah, if only girls were really that easy.

In truth, a girl will not always list the REAL problems she has with you. By the time she’s fed up enough to break things off, she might just want you to go away.

If this is the case, she’ll do anything just to shove you aside. She’ll bruise your ego. Tell you things that aren’t necessarily true. She might even take all the blame on herself, giving you the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Even when you know the problem is most likely YOU.

So how do you fix a breakup like this? When your girlfriend is being stingy with the information, and stubborn to the point of ignoring you completely?

Well, that’s when it’s time to take back CONTROL.

Acting from a position of weakness will always fail. This is exactly what happens to most people; they fail to get back together because they couldn’t stop doing “stuff”. What stuff? Well, it didn’t matter. They felt their ex slipping away, so they started doing anything and everything to get them back.

The problem with that outlook is that it ends up destroying your chances. You’re acting irrationally, and without any strength. Your ex isn’t receptive to hearing from you, so anything you do only pisses her off. And as you do more and more of it? She begins to ignore your every move. You’ve become nothing but a nuisance to her.

He Who Controls the Breakup Controls What Happens Next

Read that headline again. Whether or not you fix things and get back with your ex is determined by ONE person, not the both of you. And in every case, it’s determined by the person who has the control.

When your girl broke up with you, she seized all the control. It’s up to you to wrest it back from her, and to do that, you need to be very indifferent as to whether you get back together or not. You have to be smooth. You have to be particular. You have to demonstrate only the best and most attractive qualities, while suppressing the qualities that always drive women away.

1)   Control Yourself

To win back the interest of anyone who dumped you, you need to be on your best behavior. So eliminate anything and everything that might make you feel negative, or sad, or sulking.

Neediness is disgustingly unmanly. Clinginess is a death-sentence. Acting bitter or pissed about the relationship ending will make you seem like the world’s biggest sore loser, and will only make your girlfriend feel more secure that her decision was the right one.

Eliminate ALL of these behaviors. No matter how you feel on the inside, on the outside you have to be stone cold. And believe it or not? By not acting this way you’re going to find yourself in a much better mood. A much more positive frame of mind, from which it becomes a lot easier to re-attract your ex.

2)   Control How Your Ex Girlfriend Sees You

You have full control over how your ex sees you, so take advantage of that fact. When she looks back to see how you’re doing, you must be doing absolutely awesome.

This means you need to be happy. Excited. Exciting. You should be active and energetic and full of charisma. Instead of being alone and lonely, you should be surrounded by friends. Your social calendar should keep you so busy it’s hard to find time for anything negative in your life, and this is exactly the sort of thing that will make your girl wonder why she dumped you in the first place.

3)   Control How Much Contact You Have With Your Ex

As you already should no, there’s a No Contact Phase to every breakup. This is when you shouldn’t be talking to or texting your ex, no matter how hard that might seem, and no matter whether or not you told her you’d still “remain friends” with her.

YOU are the only person who has control over whether you reach out to your ex or not. And if she calls or contacts you? Well, that’s even better because the control then shifts to you. Each phone call, each text message your girlfriend sends after dumping you – no matter what the subject or what it’s about – erodes away just a little more of her own power. And it gives that power back to you.

So when your girl calls? Ignore it for a day before calling her back. When she texts you? Wait several hours before responding. Remember: CONTROL. You’re keeping up the appearance that you don’t need her, or desire to hear from her, even though inwardly you’re working to get her back.

There are 6 Individual Steps to getting your girlfriend back, so learn every single one of them. Every breakup has a reconciliation window, but no window stays open forever.

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3 Horrendous Behaviors Stopping You From Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Still wondering why she broke up with you? If you are, it’s probably because your girl hasn’t given you the real reasons for her not wanting to continue the relationship anyway.

You probably got something like “We’re just not compatible” or “we both want different things”. Or the infamous but ever-popular “I’m just too busy to commit to a relationship right now”, followed four days later by finding out your girlfriend is already dating someone else.

Pushing Girlfriend Away

Even more vague: “I need time alone, to think”. As if your girl was taking time off to solve some kind of complex mathematical equations. Maybe she’s deriving the rocket trajectory for the next SpaceX mission. Or maybe – just maybe – she’s bullshitting you so you’ll just go away.

Kidding aside, a girl will rarely give you the true reasons for ending a relationship. This is because, at the moment, she just wants OUT. Escape is a lot easier if you don’t make any effort to keep her, and telling you exactly what’s bothering her will only make you think that you can fix it.

So how do you know why she broke up with you? What kinds of things should you be looking for? Aside from “spending more time together” and the rest of the crap going through your mind, here are four REAL reasons your girlfriend will dump you. Correct them, and maybe you can get yourself un-dumped:

You’re a Big Rolling Snowball of Insecurity

The single biggest turnoff for women is a guy who’s insecure. And that’s because woman want a man who is strong, inside and out, and insecurity displays nothing but fear and weakness.

Guys who are insecure come off as annoyingly paranoid. They’re constantly asking their girlfriends “do you still love me?” and always trying to compare themselves to previous lovers. Insecure guys want to be told they’re the best, or at least better than the last boyfriend, because it’s the only way they can justify staying in the current relationship.

Insecurity leads to worse behaviors too. Whenever you see a guy putting his girlfriend down, berating her, or constantly belittling her accomplishments? It’s because he feels insecure about his own life. Rather than try to bring himself up he drags everyone else down, especially the girl he’s dating because she’s the one who’s closest to him.

You’re That Overbearing, All-Controlling Jerk You Always Hated in Movies

Do you monitor your girlfriend’s time? Ask her “where were you?” and “why did it take you so long to do XYZ?” Are you that guy who swipes his girlfriend’s phone and checks through her messages to make sure no other guy is trying to get with or even talk to her?

Yeah, that guy is a dick. And if you’re that guy you won’t even see it, because in your mind you’re totally normal.

Controlling behavior ALWAYS ends in a breakup. This is because you can keep your girlfriend down only for so long, and then eventually, she’ll start to escape. She’ll start to lie. You’ll catch her in some lies, and trust will be broken, and fights will ensue.

Eventually, she’ll sneak away. It’ll be like a game to her. It’ll be almost cathartic for her to sneak time for herself, and eventually she’ll start seeing other people. And when she’s gained enough independence that she’s ready to walk? Nothing you can say is going to change her mind.

You’re Jealous of Everything Under the Sun (and Maybe Even The Sun)

Jealousy is insecurity’s older brother… the bigger, meaner, more ugly brother that likes to kick the hell out of everyone around him.

If you find yourself jealous of every little thing about your girlfriend, chances are good she’s ready to pull her hair out. Some guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s friends, of their job, even of their successes. Other guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s past history, to where they fight over stuff that happened before they even got together, and want to beat up other guys they never even met.

If you’ve got that constant jealous knot sitting in the pit of your stomach, it’s going to destroy all chances of fixing your relationship. You’ve got to untangle that knot, and just let stuff go. The faster you can do that, the happier you’ll be.

How to Get Your ExGirlfriend Back

Breakups are always reversible, for a time anyway. So depending on how long it’s been, and what mistakes you’ve made since your girlfriend dumped you, the path to getting back together is something you need to start walking SOONER rather than later.

Making bad moves is even worse than making none at all. This Step by Step System for winning her back is probably the single biggest step you can take toward fixing your breakup.

Learn ALL of the techniques necessary to making her want you back, and more important than anything else, find out the 12 biggest blunders guys make when trying to get their ex girlfriends to go back out with them again.

In the end, knowledge is everything. You only get one good shot at winning back your girlfriend’s attention and respect. So the more you know before even getting started? The better your results will be.

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