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How to Get Your Ex to See You – The Reunion Date

Some breakups are stubborn, and filled with signs and mixed signals. Your ex still talks to or communicates with you, maybe by text message, maybe by phone call. But for some reason that you can’t quite understand, your boyfriend or girlfriend still won’t see you.

Reunion Date Anthony Malibu

This is tough, especially if you’re trying to get back together. Face to face contact is one of the last of the 6 steps needed for reversing your breakup.

So can you make your ex want to see you?

Are there ways you can make them miss you, so much to the point where phone calls or text-messages aren’t cutting it, and your ex actually asks to see you in a one-on-one setting?

Below you’ll find tips and tricks for communicating with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, and ultimately, learn how to get them to meet up with you.

Remember; all contact you have with your ex needs to be positive contact. Read everything carefully, and understand that sometimes the best course of action is to sit back and let your ex actually come to YOU.

Withdrawal Techniques That Will Make Your Ex Need to See You Again

First and foremost, you will never be able to fix your breakup until a singularly important thing takes place: your ex must miss you.

For most people, this means the No Contact phase. We’ve all heard those words, and it seems like an awfully long time to wait around feeling powerless while your former boyfriend or girlfriend runs out and does whatever they want. But you know what? You’re not nearly as powerless as you think you are.

So while you’re steering clear of social media, not bothering your ex, and waiting out the No Contact portion of the breakup? Check out this list of 4 groundbreaking moves you should be making right now, rather than sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.

Meeting Your Ex After the Breakup

Get this through your head: your ex is just as nervous seeing you as you are seeing them. Which means that if you can stay calm, keep your cool, and maintain total confidence? You’ll have the upper hand during the reunion date.

If your ex suggested the meeting place, you’ll need to roll with it. But if he or she leaves it up to you? Pick a spot that’s quiet. Intimate. You want to generate a little romance here, and bring some of those old emotional attachments back to the surface again. Even as you play it cool, it never hurts to be in the right setting, so keep that in mind when arranging a date and time.

Look and Feel Absolutely Amazing

This should go without saying, really. In meeting your ex again for the first time, you’ll want to look even better than you did the first time the two of you got together. You want to create an instant chemistry between you, and physical attraction is a big part of that equation.

So get to the gym, lose weight, tone up, feel better – these are all things you should’ve been doing from the very first day of your breakup. Additionally, hit some stores. Buy some new clothes – something that looks fantastic, and something your ex has never seen you in before. Wear those clothes to the reunion date and shock the hell out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in a very good way.

And part of this is mental, too. You can’t go into the meeting feeling sullen or withdrawn, shaky or insecure. You should go in HAPPY. Not overly-excited to see your ex (which might come off as needy), but excited in general because life is going great for you. It’s imperative that your ex sees this, as it will give you VALUE again.

Don’t Talk About the Past – Or About Your Breakup

Getting back together is like selling something. In this case, you’re selling yourself. So right now? It’s not the time to bring up the past. Now is definitely not the time to pick at old wounds or point fingers at the problem(s) that drove you apart in the first place.

You want your ex to feel COMFORTABLE. This will make them want to see you again, even if the first date doesn’t end with the two of you rolling around back in bed together. So while you’re talking? Laugh. Make your ex laugh. Make them feel as if they’re on a first date, but without all the unknowns. It should feel fun and yet familiar again, like it did in the beginning.

Take Particular Note of Your Ex’s Body Language

When someone’s flirting with you, you’ll know it. Especially someone you once dated, and have already been intimate with.

So if your ex is leaning in? Smiling? Making solid eye contact, or even touching your hand as he or she speaks? Roll with those signals and make sure you reciprocate.

Remember; your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know that you’ll take them back (before they take action). So you’ll need to give off some signals of your own here. But make sure you’re not being too pushy, and make sure you know the signs and signals that your ex still has feelings for you. These are important, because they can help you with the overall timing of getting back together.

In the end, realize that if you’ve gotten to the point where your ex is willing to see you, you’ve already (almost) won the battle. So don’t blow it!

Learn the 12 biggest mistakes people make after a breakup (and during the reunion date) and you’ll ensure that reconciliation is only another date away.

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6 Huge Misconceptions About Staying Friends With Your Ex

“Let’s be friends…” Sounds good, right? As if you and your ex will still be able to see each other, talk to each other, even hang out together and have some more good times?

Anthony Malibu - Stay Friends With Ex

It’s win-win for everyone, at least in your mind. The relationship is over but the contact doesn’t have to end.

The closeness you shared doesn’t have to go away, because you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are going to defy they odds; somehow, you’re going to make the post-breakup friendship work, even if it kills you. Right?

Yeah, right.

The sad truth of things is this: there are two possible scenarios after someone breaks up with you. One, is that you no longer want or need them in your life. And in that case, you go your separate ways.

The second scenario is where your lover breaks up with you, but you keep hanging on. Since you weren’t ready for the romance to end, you’re looking for any excuse – no matter how thin – to stay in touch and actually be with them again.

It’s for this reason that many people JUMP at the chance to “stay friends” when their ex offers it. They’re not ready to let go. They think that being friends with an ex can help get them back, or that eventually this person will realize how much they miss being your boyfriend or girlfriend, and jump back into a relationship with and date them again.

Unfortunately, it’s not even close to that easy.

Going from friends to lovers – after you’ve dated already – is mostly a fantasy. It happens in books, in movies. It happens in real life too, but the ‘lovers’ thing lasts only for one night, and afterward your ex goes back to their single life, leaving you feel used and cheated.

In short, you cannot be friends with an ex if you still love them.

PERIOD. End of story. If you’re honest with yourself and you know that you still have feelings, staying friends with this person is only going to hurt ten times as much.

And not only that… it’s going to push your ex away, too. Every breakup has a window of opportunity for reversing itself; EVERY single time someone dumps you there’s always a way back.

But when you become friends with that person? The road back into their heart becomes that much longer. It’s an uphill climb, and you’ve basically decimated your chances of making them need you again.

Below are 6 of the biggest myths involving getting back together after staying friends with your ex. By the time you’re finished reading them, you’ll understand exactly why the road back into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart does NOT lead through some made-up “friendship”.

Myth 1 – As Friends, You’ll Still Keep in Constant Contact

Sorry, but no. First of all, your ex dumped you for a reason. He or she no longer sees you as datable, and they’re going to be looking somewhere (and at someone) else.

So will your new ‘friend’ still call and text and email with you? Yeah, sure. For a while. But the second this person finds somebody else, or even gets interested in somebody else, that contact will drop off so fast it’ll make your head spin and your heart sink.

Also, the amount of contact will never be the same. It won’t be anywhere near the amount of texts and calls you made to each other during the relationship. As such, it’ll be a disappointment for you. You’ll wonder why your ex isn’t staying in touch as much as he or she used to, and that will make you wonder what ELSE they’re doing without you.

Myth 2 – As Friends, You and Your Ex Will Still Hang Out

Sure. Maybe. But again, nowhere NEAR as much as before.

For the most part, your ex will call you when they have nothing to do. Remember: they’re single now, and they’ve got a whole new list of things they can do without you.

This list includes seeing old friends, going places, being in groups where they can potentially meet other people… and you staying at home and watching these things from the outside. When your ex does include you in these events, you’ll watch jealously as your former boyfriend or girlfriend ends up talking to other people (and potential dates). You’ll feel awkward, having been downgraded to “just a friend”, and you won’t know where your place is.

And yes, your ex might even come over for sexual reasons. You’ll hook up, even though you’re no longer dating. The sex will be good, and you’ll have a great time, and in the back of your mind you’ll tell yourself that you can handle it. But you know what? You can’t. Because residual feelings and emotional bonds will make you want MORE than just friends with benefits.

Can sleeping with your ex help get them back? Read LOTS more about that here.

Myth 3 – Staying Friends Lets You Keep Track of Your Ex

Somewhat, yes. You’ll still be Facebook friends, you’ll still follow your ex on Instagram, and you’ll still be privy to some of the things he or she does every day.

Your ex will also call and text you. They’ll tell you about their day, get some advice from you at times, and all that other good stuff friends do. That part is true, to an extent.

But you know what? Anything your ex doesn’t want you to see will remain a mystery. Anything they think will hurt your feelings will be something they HIDE from you. And because you’re no longer dating this person, you can’t even push for details. You’re not entitled to know where your ex went anymore, or who he/she hung out with, or when they got back from the bar or club.

This will ultimately drive you crazy: the not knowing. Seeing only PART of the picture is worse than seeing nothing at all. You’ll have no power over your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s actions, and this will frustrate you lots more than if you didn’t know anything about their life. In that respect, being friends with an ex is worse than a standard breakup.

Myth 4 – Being Friends Will Draw You Closer Together

Another misconception is that friendship simplifies the relationship. You’re no longer dating so you no longer have to fight. No more arguing, no more petty jealousy, no more “you didn’t call or text me back…” – that stuff flies out the window, leaving behind a nice, peaceful interaction between the two of you.

To an extent this is actually true. However, understand that as the friendship goes on, your ex will ONLY see you as a friend. Eventually, that’s all you really become to them.

Why? Because you’ve made the whole thing so comfortable. You’ve created a situation that’s better than actually dating them. If your ex is enjoying most (or all) of the benefits of having you around, with none of the drawbacks or limitations of an actual relationship, why the HELL would he or she want to ever go back to dating you again? You’ve created a stress-free Utopian paradise that they’ll never really want to leave!

Myth 5 – Old Sparks Will Eventually Start Flying Again

Wrong. Mostly because being around each other is an awkward situation for the both of you.

Sorry, but this type of friendship is never TRULY a friendship. One person ‘won’ the breakup, and the other person lost it. The loser is you, which means that your boyfriend or girlfriend still holds all the cards right now. They know you still have feelings for them (no matter how well you’ve convinced yourself you’ve hidden it). And because of that, they’ll always hold power over you.

While you both pretend to be buddies with each other, your ex will never really open his or her heart to you. Not fully, and not while they still believe you WANT them.

Getting back together with an ex is all about making them NEED you again. They have to miss you. You have to actually go away.

None of those things happened so far, if you’re still palling around with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. They can’t possibly miss you when all they need to do is look down at their phone and see that you’ve been talking to them every single day.

Sexual sparks might fly, as we talked about above, but those will mostly be one-shot deals. Your ex will get horny, and you’ll be a very likely candidate for sex. Still, this doesn’t usually mean anything. And in the cases where the sex didn’t mean much to your ex, you’re definitely going to get hurt.

Myth 6 – Your Ex Will Ultimately ‘See the Light’ & Want You Back

It’s almost a bit sad, but this has to be said: your ex rejected you for a reason. And until you find out exactly what that reason was – and correct it – you’re never going to convince your ex to get back together as a couple with you.

Again, it goes back to comfort. As long as your former lover is made comfortable around you, he or she has ZERO INCENTIVE to take you back. First of all, it’s obvious you still want them. It’s obvious you’re staying friends with an ulterior motive. And as long as they know this? They’ll always feel comfortable in knowing they can get you back anytime they want to.

This keeps the breakup going. It makes it last and last. That’s because for your ex, there’s no downside. They get to play the field and look for someone better while you’re still circling around them in a holding pattern waiting for table scraps.

Harsh? Yeah. But it’s also the truth. And if you REALLY want a relationship rather than a friendship, you’re going to have to face those hard truths in order to get past the idea of “staying friends” after breaking up.

What to Do If You’ve Become Friends With Your Ex

Already friends with your ex? You have only one real opening move. The sooner you make it, the sooner you can break out of the Friend Zone and start on the actual path to winning your lover back.

Remember: the window of opportunity is there. But it doesn’t stay open forever. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. And the more you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the role of “just a friend” with your ex? The further away you’ll always be.

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