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Boyfriend Wants Space? Here are 3 Things You MUST DO

“I just want some space…”

Is that what he said? Or maybe he worded it differently. “Maybe we should take some time apart?” Or the dreaded: “I just need time to think?”

boyfriend-wants-space

It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend said it, he always means the same thing: we’re about to break up.

Unless, of course, you know EXACTLY what to do.

Right here, right now, your boyfriend has just checked you into relationship limbo. He’s effectively saying “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

So you begged. You pleaded. You told him you’d “change”. In the end you let him know that you really don’t want time apart, but if he really needs it, you’ll give it to him. Right?

Well, that’s about the worst possible thing you could’ve done.

Understand something: when a guy asks for “space” what he really wants is permission to date other girls. What he’s really saying here is “hey, stick around for a while and don’t go anywhere… but at the same time, I’m free to look for other people.”

If you’re not looking to break up with your boyfriend, and you want to get your relationship back on track? You’re going to need to do three things. Here they are:

Refuse the Whole “Time Apart” Bullshit

Your boyfriend offers a time-out from your relationship, or needs space, or wants time to think… but rather than be the good little girlfriend who’s going to give him exactly that, you’re going to do the opposite. You tell him:

“No, sorry. I don’t do ‘space’. If you want to break up, fine, we’ll break up. But I’m not half-assing it, and I’m not waiting around.”

This is exactly what your guy doesn’t want to hear. The fact that he might lose you during the whole “time off” thing is going to freak him out, mainly because he thinks he can control you during this temporary breakup.

Putting your boyfriend on his back foot is the best way to make him realize you as VALUABLE. He’ll never be forced to really see you that way unless you respect yourself enough not to fall for this crap when he first pulls it.

Pre-Emptively Break Up with Him

At this point, the best thing to do is get pissed. Turn to him and say:

“Know what? If you’re really not sure about this whole thing, then I’m not either. Maybe we should just put an end to it completely, and both move on with our lives.”

This is going to scare your boyfriend right down to his balls. Why? Because he DOESN’T WANT THIS. He wanted a nice cushy little “break” where you kept calling and kept texting and kept telling him you loved him. Instead, you just broke up with him… throwing him for a complete loop.

Walk Away While You Have the Upper Hand

And after you tell him you want a breakup? WALK AWAY. Don’t look back, don’t answer your phone, and don’t respond to his text messages.

Your boyfriend will be left with the feeling that he really messed up. He screwed things big time, and he got exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

Most of all, he now stands to actually LOSE you. The fact that you’re not going to be his girlfriend anymore and he might lose you to someone else is going to create instant value in his eyes. Suddenly you’re a commodity he stands to be without, and he’s not going to want that.

Remember: your boyfriend doesn’t want a breakup. He wants a “temporary break”. This is a cowardly way of trying to keep stringing you along (which is what he wants), and now it just backfired in his face.

Now, if the whole “I need some space” thing already happened, and you missed your chance to do these three things? That’s okay. There’s still a backup plan.

First, look for the 7 signs he still loves you. These are easy-to-spot signals your boyfriend will give off when he’s really not ready to lose you.

Beyond that, there’s this One Opening Move guaranteed to make your ex almost immediately want you back! Make sure you do this one early though, because the longer you wait the harder it will be to pull it off.

In the end, NEVER accept the whole “I need space” excuse. Sitting around and waiting for your boyfriend to get back to you is almost always going to lead to a permanent breakup.

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The REAL Reason He’s Still Texting You After the Breakup

Confused by the fact your ex boyfriend still texts you? Don’t be. This is one of the most common things that can happen after a breakup.

texting-after-breakup

And it’s also very, very telling.

Look at it this way: if your ex is still sending texts beyond the day he broke up with you, chances are good he’s not 100% ready to let you go.

Any guy looking to ditch you forever is never going to do something that might be construed as leading you on.

Why? Because, to be brutally honest, he’s trying to get rid of you.

That’s why texting after a breakup is so important. It tells a lot about how your exboyfriend feels. It can also be a big indication as to whether or not he wants you back.

The first thing to look for are the 7 Signs He’s Still Interested. If you spot more than 3 of these, your relationship might be salvageable purely on the basis that you ex isn’t ready to move on.

It’s All About Control

First and foremost, text-messaging you is one way for your ex boyfriend to maintain control.

Yes, he broke up with you. Yes, you can “technically” do whatever you want. But as long as YOU think there’s still a chance of getting back together (and hell, you still want to get back together), you’re not going to screw that up by going out and dating someone else.

Your ex knows this. That’s why he’ll use text-messages as a method of control. A way of showing you just enough interest to keep stringing you along… but not enough interest that you’re back together as a couple.

It’s All About Spying on You

Texting you is also a way for your ex to keep you from seeing other people. Simple, seemingly-innocent texts such as “hey, what did you do today?” are actually your exboyfriend’s way of spying on you. He’s going to know if you’re out doing something he doesn’t want you to do. He’ll even use guilt texts to keep you from doing stuff, with the vague promise of “maybe one day… someday… we’ll get back together”.

Think about it. Has your ex said stuff like:

“I’ll always love you”

and

“We’re definitely meant to be together… maybe just not right now.”

This is because he’s stringing you along. He wants you to stay away so he can do what he wants (and possibly date other girls), but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to go away entirely.

In short, he wants to keep an eye on you. You know, just in case his next relationship fails… or he gets lovesick about your previous romance and suddenly wants you back.

What Does it Mean When he Drunk Texts You

There are two times when your former boyfriend is at his weakest: late at night when he’s alone, and when he’s drunk.

At night, being lonely, your ex will start reminiscing about the good times you shared together. He might send you a “hey” text message, or something more meaningful (and honest) like “thinking about you”. Either way, he is thinking about you. And if you want him back, that’s a good thing.

Drunk texts are a similar matter. When your ex is inebriated his guard is down. This allows his true feelings to come out; often he’ll suppress his real feelings and/or love for you because he’s trying to be “tough” or keep the breakup going. But when he’s drunk? That wall falls away, and his heart is a lot more exposed.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

If you don’t want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM. Anything you do or say — no matter how innocent — will be construed as interest.

If you actually do want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM! At least not right away. Creating space and unavailability is the first step in creating longing again. And you can’t get him back until he actually longs for an needs you.

Now, there’s also a step-by-step blueprint for Texting Your Ex Back. This is basically a series of text-messages you can send him that will, if you time it right, actually make him want YOU.

Learn about these texts if you’re interested in reversing your breakup. And remember, no matter what: texting after the breakup ALWAYS means something!

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10 Big Signs He’s Ready to Come Back

So you broke up… and you’re totally confused. Your ex boyfriend is sending mixed signals about how he feels, and whether or not he wants the relationship to continue. Knowing what he’s thinking is impossible. And knowing when it’s okay to move on? Well, that’s even harder.

So how do you know when he’s ready to come back? The following are 10 big signs that your ex is rethinking the breakup, and might be ready to make a move in your direction:

10 Signs Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

1. He Still Wants to Be Friends

Believe it or not, this happens out of insecurity. Your boyfriend isn’t looking for another ‘friend’. He’s looking to keep tabs on you during the breakup, just in case he wants you back.

Think of it this way: the friendship is his insurance policy. Because as long as you’re still buddies? He can talk to you, keep track of you, and even ask about your dating life. Being friends grants him all of those things, which is like an inside look into what you’re doing.

Be if he truly wanted to be broken up for good? Being friends with you would be uncomfortable for him. It simply wouldn’t be something he wants.

2. Your Ex Boyfriend is Still Texting You

Once again, this serves as an umbilical cord, connecting the two of you while your boyfriend tests out the breakup. Because if he’s still texting you even after he dumped you? There are only two main reasons for that: to keep stringing you along, and for sex.

Stringing you along isn’t malicious, by the way. He’s doing it selfishly, and because it makes him feel secure that you still want him. The more you text with each other, the more ‘normal’ things seem for him, even though you’re no longer together. Normalcy = comfort, and if there’s one thing you don’t want your ex boyfriend to be right now, it’s comfortable with the breakup.

Texting you for sex is another option. Many guys will keep you at their fingertips for whenever they’re feeling lonely, or horny, or both. Your boyfriend knows you still love him, and that you probably want him back. He knows you’ll come running if he texts you, yet after the deed is done he might have different feelings. Keep this in mind. Be careful with how you handle such contact, because you don’t want to get hurt.

3. He’s Still Following You on Social Media

This is a big one these days. A guy who’s totally done with dating you will want to eradicate all trace of you as soon as possible, and he’ll do that by unfollowing you and unfriending you on every one of his accounts.

Moreover, he’ll do this for another reason: he doesn’t want to see what you might be doing. Seeing you dating someone else could be hurtful, or to be honest, maybe he simply doesn’t care anymore. Losing you as a Facebook friend or Instagram follower means nothing in this case, so he’ll simplify his life by cutting you off.

So yes, if he’s still following you? It could be a sign he wants you back. At the very least, it’s definitely a sign of interest. So be very careful about what you put on your social media accounts, and no matter what you do, never look as if you’re needy.

In most cases, you can even use social media to get your boyfriend back. There are lots of tips and tricks to try out in that link, so make sure you learn what they are!

4. Your Ex is Asking Your Friends About You

When your exboyfriend is getting ready to come back to you, he’ll send out certain feelers. One of the bigger ones? He’ll want to know how your friends feel about the two of you, and also, how you’re doing without him.

If an ex starts asking around for you, it’s crucial your friends know what to say. Telling him you’ve been lonely and miss him is a HUGE mistake! Even if you are lonely and do miss your ex, the last thing you want to do is let him know it. It’s always best for your ex to think you’re doing better without him than with him, which will make him feel like the loser of the breakup and create an actual NEED to have you in his life again.

5. Your Ex Boyfriend is Talking About the Past

Nostalgia is a powerful motivator. During a breakup – any breakup, no matter who you are – you’ll replay certain aspects of the relationship in your mind. Over and over you’ll go over the good times; the trips you took, the great memories you made, the best sex you had… all of those things become glorified and promoted as the best aspects of dating YOU.

Now, if an ex sees more bad times than good? He’s not going to talk about the past. In fact he’s going to avoid speaking about it entirely. So if he’s speaking about your past, especially in fond terms? It’s a tremendous sign he might be ready to give things a second shot.

6. Your Ex Calls You Out of the Blue

Ever get that phone call or text message? It might be something heartfelt, such as “I was thinking about you” or “I was missing you today”, or it might be as simple as the word “Hey”. The truth however, is that your ex is obviously thinking about you. He got caught up in a moment of weakness, and he went out on a limb to put the ball in your court.

Whenever your ex contacts you from out of the clear blue sky it’s one of the biggest signs of weakness in the world. He’s definitely reconsidering the breakup, or at the very least, is trying to figure things out. This is the point where he’ll try to see you again, even if he attempts to downplay it as a casual hangout.

Make sure you know exactly what to say when your ex boyfriend calls you! If you know which topics to bring up, and which to avoid, you can advance the reconciliation process to mere days or even hours rather than wait weeks or months to see if he wants you back.

7. Your Boyfriend Wants to Exchange ‘Things’ With You

Ever break up, trade eachother’s things back, and then get a phone call weeks later? “Oh hey, I found some of your DVD’s… maybe I could swing by and drop them off?”

Well that phone call is bullshit. It’s your ex’s way of trying to physically see you, and that’s a good sign. Anything important that he needed from your place would’ve been taken care of long before now, so if it’s weeks after the breakup and he’s still trying to exchange stuff with you, it’s merely a smokescreen for trying to see you again.

8. Your Ex Wants to Meet Up with You

This is it. The big one. Your boyfriend broke up with you, told you to go your own way, and now for some reason or another, he wants to see you again.

It doesn’t matter what reason he gives. It could sound legitimate, or it could be totally lame. The best thing to do is accept it for what it is, and allow him to pick a time and place. The worst thing to do would be to interrogate him with “What? Why? What do you want to say to me?” because this will embarrass him and turn him off to the whole thing.

When you DO go to see your ex for the first time after the breakup, you should know exactly how to handle it. Read this complete guide on how to handle the reunion date in such a way it’ll make your ex boyfriend want to see you again and again and again.

9. Your Ex Wants to Have Sex With You

Yup. It happens all the time, and especially if you’ve both been lonely. Sex with your ex might seem like a good idea, and it’s certainly something you’ll want, but in the long run, you need to be careful with how much, ummm… physical ‘access’ you give to your ex boyfriend.

There are times when having sex with an ex is okay. But if you want him back as a boyfriend again? You’ll need to manipulate the situation down some constructive avenues before any of the clothes come flying off.

Learn exactly when it’s okay to sleep with him, and when it’s better to withhold physical contact. Sex should never be used as a weapon, but you also can’t use it as a reward or lure to falsely win him back.

10. Your Ex Boyfriend Stays Connected with Your Family or Friends

Someone who’s looking to break ties with you is going to break them all. He’ll stop calling, texting, emailing… he’ll drop you on Facebook or Instagram, etc.. etc… etc…

That said, an ex boyfriend will have to leave your friends and family alone as well, especially if he wants to move on. So even if he’s close with your friends, or best pals with your brother? Steering clear of these people is always a sign that your ex doesn’t see himself having any kind of future with you.

The opposite, of course, is always true: an ex who keeps in touch with the closest people in your life is an ex who isn’t ready to lose you entirely. Every tiny piece of contact or commitment that he can keep going is just one more thread tying him to you, and in the long run, makes it just that much easier to re-insert himself in your life again.

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4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Called

It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Hasn't Called

They don’t call. They don’t text.

Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.

Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.

So why won’t your ex call or text you?

What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?

The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.

And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.

So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.

You’re Still Resisting the Breakup

A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.

So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.

Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.

No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.

Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.

You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex

Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.

The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.

Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.

You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity

We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).

All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.

Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?

And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.

Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.

This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.

Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On

Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.

This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”

The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).

When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.

Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:

CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend

CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend

And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.

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3 Important Texts You Can Send to Your Ex

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear: texting your ex during the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup is almost always a bad idea. There are some very big reasons you need to leave your ex alone during this stage, so if you haven’t read them already, check them out by going here.

Messages to Send Your Ex

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

The most desired of all communication, when you’re trying to get back together, is any form of contact initiated by your ex. The fact that your former boyfriend or girlfriend is calling or texting you, rather than the other way around, shows a lot more in the way of serious interest.

There are ways of getting your ex to call or text you. Some are fairly obvious. Others are a lot more subtle.

All of them however, can put you back in the driver’s seat. You take back a lot of that missing power and control when your ex is forced to make that extremely coveted first move.

Yet before even that can happen, you’ll need to use these emotional bonding techniques to make your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend MISS you first. When your ex misses you, ANY contact you make with them will be a positive, welcomed connection. This makes your overall chances of getting back together a lot more successful in the end.

Sometimes though, you have to make the first move. There are times when it’s necessary to reach out to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to get things moving in the right direction.

If this is where you’re at, you can often break the ice with a simple text-message. Here are three examples of texts you can send to your ex when you’re looking to reconnect:

The ‘I Agree With the Breakup Text’

If you’ve been fighting the breakup or trying just about everything to get your ex to go back out with you, this is a good one to start with. Essentially you’re coming off as no longer interested in dating this person, but would rather carry on a platonic friendship with them.

You’re going to give them a text they can’t possibly argue with. Something like:

“Hey, what’s up? Listen, you were right about us being better off apart. Sorry it took me a while to get it! Anyway, we were good friends before we started dating, and it would suck to lose that friendship just because we can’t be together. Let me know if you want to get lunch or something, so we can catch up!”

This is a non-threatening, non-confrontational way of accepting the situation for what it is; you’re no longer together, but at the same time you’re looking to save whatever pre-dating relationship (i.e. friendship) you used to have.

This isn’t saying you’re going to be best buddies with your ex – that’s never a good idea. But you’ll make them think you want to be friends in order to jockey for better position when you DO make the bigger moves (step 5 and step 6) later on down the line.

The ‘Nostalgia Trigger’ Text Message

Think back to your past relationship. Where did you go? What did you do? Try to envision which special places or times or even sports teams you shared with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and pick one that’s really GOOD.

You need to grab hold of one he or she will remember. One your ex will associate with you. For example, let’s say you went to the NY Jets games a few times together, and always had an awesome time. At that point you can send a text like:

“Hey, did you see that one-handed catch the other night? That happened
RIGHT where we were sitting last January!”

You can substitute anything here, as long as it’s relevant.

“Holy shit, did you notice [NAME OF A RESTAURANT] burned/closed down the other day? I was just thinking of all the times we went there together!”

“Did you see Terminator 8 yet? It was insane! What was the name of that theater
where we went to see Terminator 7?”

Basically, that sort of thing. You pick something you know was fun or important for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and hopefully something relevant to you relationship. A holiday or event you went to. A favorite band that happens to be back in town again. Then you make an innocent comment on it, in the form of a text message, and follow the reply up with something like “By the way, how’ve you been? Things cool with you?”

The ‘Congratulatory’ or ‘Checking up on Someone’ Text

This is really two different texts, but with the same basic flavor. For this one, you need to pick an event that happened recently in your ex’s life. Maybe they graduated. Maybe they got a new job. Choose something positive, and then text them with:

“Hey, congrats! I heard you were accepted to Cornell! That’s totally awesome!”

You can also use this method to check up on an existing situation in your ex’s family or circle of friends. For this one, you’ll need to have dated them a little longer, so you have a much better clue as to what’s going on in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s social life.

“Just wanted to know how everything worked out for your mom. Is she out
of the hospital yet? Tell her I hope she feels better.”

Again, you want to deliver the message in such a way that you’re almost making small talk. Only it’s not a pointless “Sup?” text, which is the lamest possible thing you can send. You’d be surprised how many people think they can start up a new conversation with something as simple as that, and still expect a positive result.

What to Do if You’re Stuck on How to Make Contact

Sometimes it seems things go awkwardly no matter how you communicate with your ex. You might feel like you’re bothering them, or that they’re really not that interested in hearing from you at all.

When this is the case, you need to up your game. You need to put some new weapons in your arsenal, rather than fight with the same old dull ones you keep trying to no avail.

Text Your Ex Back System

Text Your Ex Back contains some ground-breaking, next-level stuff.

It’s a complete step-by-step SYSTEM showing you how to break the ice, make contact, and continue to communicate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend on only the most positive levels.

Learn what to do… what to say… and exactly WHEN you should be saying it. The system teaches you how to trigger deep-seeded emotional attachments already within your ex’s mind and heart, and then use those attachments to re-generate his or her original feelings for you again.

If you’re looking for the ultimate guide on what to say after a breakup, look no further. Check out the many sharp tools within Text Your Ex Back, and get started right away on the one and only CORRECT path to reconciliation.

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Ex Boyfriend Already Dating? Here’s How to STEAL HIM BACK!

“I need some space…” he said, or maybe “some time to myself.” Only that time must have included some other people, because all of a sudden your ex boyfriend is DATING AGAIN.

Anthony Malibu - Steal Your Boyfriend Back

It hits you like a ton of bricks; that gut feeling of hopelessness. All those beautiful plans you made, the time you spent together – all of it gone – lost, forever, in the blink of an eye.

And if you tried to get him back? Obviously you failed. Your boyfriend is dating someone else now, and he has a new girlfriend. Someone else is kissing him. Someone else is in his bed.

Some other girl is making him happy, which means there’s no longer a shot at ever fixing your breakup and getting back together, like you one day somehow planned to do with him.

Or is there???

Want the truth? EVERY breakup has a path to reversal. Even the ones that led your boyfriend in another direction, to where he suddenly took up with someone new.

Keeping this in mind, if you’re not ready to give up on your boyfriend just yet, there’s still hope. Because there are lots of ways to get him back, even when he’s currently in the arms of another woman. Especially if he’s in the arms of another woman, actually, because right now, as his exgirlfriend? You’re working from a position where you now have certain advantages that you never had before.

Steps to Get Your Boyfriend Back From His New Girlfriend

Regardless of how long it’s been since you broke up, the important thing here is timing. Because there’s a certain time period (the honeymoon stage) where you’ll NEVER be able to win your boyfriend back from his new relationship… but there’s also a window of opportunity where it actually becomes easier to change his mind and make him fall back in love with you again.

It’s during that later stage that you need to strike. That’s when you need to make your move, and not a second before. Because if you act too soon? You’ll push him in the other direction. If you wait too long? You run the risk of losing his interest.

Getting your boyfriend back is a balancing act. Especially so when he’s already in a new relationship with some other girl. Here are the steps you’ll need to steal him away from his new girlfriend, and bring him back to you again:

Step 1 – Acceptance and Withdrawal

Your first move is always the same; you must accept and agree with your ex’s decision to break up. This means you MUST stop fighting it, no matter how much you still love him, and you MUST stop trying to get him back.

Calling, texting, emailing, Instagram, Facebook; if you’re doing these things you’re still chasing him, even if you say that you’re not. Only once you’ve agreed that yes, you should probably be apart from one another, will your ex start to see you as an ally (i.e. someone he can talk to and confide in) rather than a crazy exgirlfriend who still isn’t over him for one reason or another.

Step 2 – Waiting Out the Honeymoon Phase of his Rebound Relationship

If your boyfriend started dating this new girl almost immediately after breaking up with you, you’re probably pissed off. In reality however, this is a pretty good thing. Here’s why:

Right now, your ex is in a rebound relationship. He’s enjoying the comfort and companionship (and let’s be honest, the attraction and the sex) of a new romance, and everything is exciting to him. There’s NOTHING you can do right now… NOTHING you can say to stop him, or her, or their budding new affair.

In fact, your boyfriend is going to see any resistance on your part as jealousy. He’ll pay no mind to it. He’ll chalk it up to you still wanting him back, which defeats the purpose of step 1.

However, your ex is on a rebound right now, and this is good news. Why? Because the roller coaster of a rebound won’t last forever. It’ll only last until he gets bored of this new girl, or tired of her crap, or sick of something she does that’s different from what you did for him.

In other words, he’s going to be comparing this girl to YOU. Why? Because he just dated you. He’ll take the bad things this new girl does and hold them up to the candle of all the cool things you did well. This glorifies you in his eyes, and the first major fight the two of them have? That’ll be the first time your ex calls or texts or reaches out to you in the middle of the night, possibly to get your opinion on things, and definitely because he misses you.

Once again, this won’t happen if you haven’t fulfilled step one. Learn how to agree with the breakup (even if the breakup already happened) by watching this free opening moves video and understanding there’s a right and wrong way to do this important step.

Step 3 – Contacting or Reconnecting With Your Ex

When the time is right, your boyfriend will call you. Or maybe he’ll text you, just to test the waters. When this happens, you need to be COOL. And to be cool, that means you need to shed all of the anger, hate, bitterness, or sorrow you might have been feeling toward him all these last weeks.

Yes, he left you. Yes, he has a new girlfriend. And yes, as much as this pisses you off, you’re going to need to put all that aside in order to be COOL with him. Know why? Because a cool exgirlfriend is a SAFE ex girlfriend.

You need your ex to feel safe in talking to you. In confiding things to you. If he suspects you’re going to rat him out or go running to his new girlfriend with any info he might give you your boyfriend will clam up and never call you again.

So LISTEN to him. Be understanding, even if it hurts. Basically, you want to establish a neutral, almost “friendly” trust with him. That way you can seek out and make note of the problems within his new relationship, so that later on, you can use those problems as leverage to get him back.

Look at it this way; every relationship has chinks in its armor – even the best ones. By studying the weaknesses of your exboyfriend’s new romance, you can put yourself in prime position to strike when the iron is hot. Which will usually be after a major fight, when your boyfriend is emotionally at his weakest and most vulnerable. This is when he’ll be most nostalgic about your past relationship. This is always when he’ll be most susceptible to wanting you back.

Other Steps to Getting Him Back From His New Girlfriend

You’ve read three big steps so far that will help pry your man back from the arms of another woman. But guess what? There are 5 more.

There is a full 8 Step Process To Stealing Your Boyfriend Back from his new girlfriend, so make sure you learn ALL of them! Having a plan will always give you the best possible chance for success.

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My Boyfriend Says He Lost Feelings For Me – How Do I Get Him Back?

Hi Anthony!

First of all, I enjoy reading your articles about how to get the exboyfriend back. It makes a lot of sense. But that exboyfriend of mine is saying to me, “I’m way down the road,” and also, “I have lost feelings for you.” The reasons he left we could fix together, for sure, but he never talked about how unhappy he was in the relationship before the breakup. We just abruptly broke up. Here are the reasons for the breakup: My obsession with rescuing animals, (no time for him), religious issue(my saying grace over the food whenever), drinking/partying issue (can\’t drink much, diabetic), no sex issue. That’s it.

He said he lost sexual attraction for me. Since then I have stop rescuing, gotten rid of all my animals except 4 cats. I told him that. I have a lot of time for him. I pleaded with him to give me another chance. He was negative about it. Said he lost all feelings for me. That we should go find better people to be with.

We never argued, and always went on fabulous vacations, had a blast every time. I have given him his space, but have sent him emails that he has totally ignored. His ex wife who I\’m friends with told me that he has moved on, and I should too. I even sent him an invite out for a drink, but he didn\’t respond at all. Would you method work on him? How can I work my way back? I love him. Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Hi Margery!

Sorry to hear about the problems you’ve been having with your boyfriend! It’s always sad to hear about stuff like this. You sound like you’ve been a good girlfriend and you’ve done just about everything possible to keep the relationship going, only to have him continually reject your attempts at fixing things.

It sounds a lot like he is losing interest, but it’s hard to really know until you’ve actually let him go yourself. So far you haven’t done that. Your constant attention to him (calling, going to his hockey game, inviting him out for drinks) is a constant reminder that you’re still there, waiting for him, wanting him, ready to take him back the moment he gets bored or feels like he needs you. Only he won’t feel like he needs you until he turns, looks to see where you are, and finds out that you’ve already gone away.

When’s the last time you talked to him? Emailed or texted him? What happens if you stop all contact – does he eventually call or email you? The fact he kissed you before his hockey game may have been a good sign, but I need to know more about how long he lets a lack of contact ‘go’ before he starts missing you or needing to hear from you.

I find it sad that you’ve changed so many of your basic traits for him. Rescuing animals is an amazing thing (I’m a big dog-lover), and you gave it up for him. I couldn’t imagine giving up pets for anyone! And although I’m not too religious, I would never begrudge anyone who is, much less someone who likes to say grace. Seems like you’ve bent over backward for him.

Give me a shout and let me know how things are going. I’m pulling for you!
Anthony

Breakup Advice Separator

Thanks Anthony for your reply.

I saw him on Dec 2nd. That was when I went out to his house to take Christmas gifts to his sisters. I spent half a day, and hockey game that night. He let me touch him, and snuggle with him on the couch, even though he told me that afternoon that he had lost all feelings for me. That’s when he called me darling, pumpkin, baby. He ask me to go to Walmart with him to get more lights. Then I went to his hockey game that evening. We kissed each other before he went out on the ice for good luck. I watched his entire game. After the game and he cleaned up, I waited for him. I said that I’ll go get my clothes and spend the night with him. He said why don’t we wait another night that we don’t have to work. Said okay. He walked me to the car, and we both kissed again and hugged. I left, and called his sister that lives with him and told her I thought we were getting back together. But, when he got home, she said she asked him if we were getting back together, and he said no, and she said I told her about spending the night, and he said he didn’t tell me that. Next day I got the bad email from him of not getting back together as before. What changed him?

I haven’t spoken to him since. But I did email him, send a hand written to his house, and sent the nude picture of me on text. That all was last month too. He hasn’t called me at all. Neither has he responded to any of the emails I sent him.

For 10 years he phoned me every day when he is on the road. He travels weekly for his work, leaving on Monday and returning on Thursday. Thursday night he plays hockey, Saturday morning, and Sunday night. We get together in between. Also, I had the animals to take care of. Even a blind cat I fed everyday down the street for 2 years until I had to put it to sleep.
He would say that I need to get rid of some of those____cats. I even had turtles that I rescued also to feed. Big responsibility. That was the only thing I heard him complain about.

I’m back to the no contact rule. I have cut of even his sisters, and his ex wife from talking with them or emailing them. They feel really bad for me. We were all close, and enjoyed each others company. Do you think there is hope. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose him for good.

How do I rekindle the spark between us? Anthony, you are the expert in these matters.

He lives 40 minutes away from me. I don’t know if he misses me, cause when we broke up he was going places, like Las Vegas with his buddies, trying to stay away from Houston. He went to Cancun with some friends and their 20 yr old daughters/friends. I was suppose to go on that trip with him too. But he didn’t include me because we had already broken up. What do you suggest I do that would get him interested. Make him jealous?

Thanks, Margery

Breakup Advice Separator

Sounds like you’re doing the right things right now.

The last few months have been full of holidays. This means he’s been around people, family, etc… You said yourself that he vacationed a lot as well. All of this means he’s had zero to no time alone, and that translates to little to no time missing you.

Perhaps in the coming weeks he’ll miss you more, simply because everything dies down. There are no more holidays until Easter (except for Valentine’s day, which is when he’ll certainly think of you) and he’ll be home more.

Cutting yourself off from his family is a good move. Cutting off all contact, including Facebook, etc… is a GREAT one. If you’re still friends on Facebook, I’d suggest disconnecting that tie. As hard as it might be, it’ll make him nervous that maybe, just maybe, you’re finally moving on.

Do you think he’s got someone else? I don’t mean to get too personal, but how often was the sex between you? If he’s gone from having a constant sex life to having none at all, I’d wonder if maybe he’s not seeing another girl. But if there was little to no sex toward the end of the relationship to begin with, that’ll make it a bit harder for him to miss you.

In the end you’ve done what he asked (with the animals). When you DO start talking to him again, make sure he realizes you’ll have a lot more time for him. But don’t make it sound like you’re desperate to be with him either. Doing your own thing – and yes, perhaps making him jealous – is the best thing you can do at this point.

Breakup Advice Separator

Unfortunately we haven’t had sex for quite some time (3 years), hard to believe. But, he never overtly said to me, “hey what’s wrong here?” I really didn’t think he wanted any cause he never said anything. He told me the last time I saw him that he hinted to me. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the move. He didn’t communicate to me that he was unhappy with our relationship at any time. He could be seeing someone now, and that is why he is ignoring me. I guess I could try to make him jealous with going out with someone else.

And I will disconnect his family from my face book. I have already unfriended him. He has not blocked me from his face book either.

I will keep you posted. Do you think that I have lost him forever? I pray that he comes back around.

Breakup Advice Separator

Well, the no sex thing is tough. Not saying it’s anyone’s fault in particular, but if he hasn’t touched you in that long he might not be interested in sex at all anymore.

Beyond sex however, there are many other methods of attachment. Did you ever live together? It’s hard to cut someone out of your life that you’ve been seeing and talking to every day. He wouldn’t just do that without another person to make the transition more seamless, which is why I think maybe he’s got someone else. Even if not physically, mentally and emotionally.

As cool as it is that you’re friends with his family, and even his ex wife, those casual everyday relationships are stacking the deck against you. The more you talk to them – even about innocent little things – the more he’ll hear about it (and the less he’ll need to hear from you).

Right now his ex-wife is saying stuff like “Oh, she’s still hung up on you… poor thing. I told her you’ve moved on and she should too.” Translated to him: this girl isn’t going anywhere ANYTIME soon. Which means he can pretty much blow you off and do whatever he wants, knowing he can get you back anytime.

To fix this situation, you need to cut off all possible information your ex boyfriend could get about you: friends, family, co-workers, etc… This will create distance. Mystery. Suddenly you’ve disappeared, and he doesn’t know where you are. He’s not sure whether or not he can get you back, and that leads to something extremely important (possibly even most important): him second-guessing himself.

While you’re doing this, you need to go out and have the best possible time without him. When and if he does hear anything about you, it should be that you were out laughing and having a great time. He should hear – through the grapevine and not directly – that you’ve been going places and doing things and NOT ASKING ABOUT HIM AT ALL. And yes, if you happen to go out on a few dates with someone else? That’s certain to spark jealousy, which in turn will spark his interest. You don’t have to throw yourself at the first guy you see, or even get serious about anyone… just going out casually with a guy or guy(s) should be enough – when coupled with a complete lack of contact on your part – to let him know he’d better do one of two things: step up and get back in touch with you OR face the possibility of losing you for good.

I’m not entirely sure you’ve lost him forever. He’s gone quite some time without initiating contact, but then again, you’ve been the one contacting him. Calling him. Sending him invites and photos. Those things might be enough to feed his ego and make him strong. Take them away and he might weaken, only time will tell. You just have to be absolutely extreme in your no contact. Even the smallest “most innocent” email or text could break weeks of silence.

Let’s see what happens on Valentine’s day. If you’re completely silent between then and now, I wonder if he won’t at least send you an e-card or email mentioning that he’s thinking about you. What do you think?

Breakup Advice Separator

Anthony, You are great! Thank you so much.

I really appreciate your guidance. God knows I need it.

The sex thing, well when I went out to his house the second time, and we were setting on the couch close together he let me put my hand almost on his leg very close to his you know what without taking his hand away either. I was surprised because in the near past he would move my hand away. And remember the night of the hockey game we talked about spending the night together, and then he changed his mind the next day.

I’m going to unfriend his relatives on my face book too like you said would help me. I never lived with him. We talked about marriage, but he didn’t want all those animals around him he said in his house. He’s not an animal person either.

I don’t think he would send me a Valentine. He always sent me flowers at work or just give them to me on the weekend when I would see him. If he’s dating someone then he will probably get them the Valentine. I need to find out if he is dating someone. Thanks again so much, Margery

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My Ex Says He Loves Me, But He’s Not Ready to Get Back Together

So you’re talking with your ex boyfriend. Seeing him. Maybe even sleeping with him as well. All signs point to a reconciliation, and you’re eagerly awaiting those awesome few words: “Will you be my girlfriend?” again.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Stringing You Along

Instead, your ex avoids the question. He’s distant. Wishy-washy. So you ask him flat out where things are going, and your former boyfriend tells you:

“I still love you… but I’m just not ready for another relationship
right now.”

Now there are other ways he can word this too. Your ex might give you the “I’m still working on myself” line. Or he may string you along with “It’s too soon” or “Just give me some time.”

In all of those cases, he’s still with you. Still shows up to hang out with you. Still sleeps with you, and the sex is even better than before because now there’s a nasty, forbidden element to it.

So you wait… not-so-patiently. You’re happy with the contact, but you want more. Yet at the same time, you’re afraid of pushing your ex boyfriend too hard. As if pressing him for an answer might push him away for good, and you’ll lose him forever.

So what gives? Does he really want to be with you again? Or is your exboyfriend just giving you the blowoff… maybe stringing you along for as long as possible just so he can get a few extra weeks of post-breakup relationship (and post-breakup sex) with you?

The Real Reasons Your Ex Won’t Take You Back

First of all, if you’re trying to fix your breakup it’s always good thing that he’s still seeing you. At the same time, you can’t take everything he’s saying at face value. No matter what your ex says to you, his ultimate goal is his best interests. Meaning that he’s going to do what HE wants to do, and not just take you back for the sake of making you happy.

The good news is he’s not ready to lose you. He’s hanging onto your past relationship because he still feels emotionally connected. He’s probably torn; part of him wants a fresh start with someone else, but a bigger part of him wants to see if the two of you can actually work out.

The problem however, is that his actions are selfish. By telling you he loves you, he’s basically “locking you up” for now. He’s making sure you don’t go anywhere, while at the same time he’s free to do what he wants (and with who he wants). On top of that you might even be sleeping with him, which is like giving your ex everything he had when he was still dating you, but without the responsibilities of actually having to answer to you as a girlfriend.

And hey, guess what? While you sit there and do nothing? NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. Your former boyfriend isn’t going to alter the situation, because there’s no incentive for him to change anything. He has you; your companionship, your contact, your love and even your intimacy. What else does he really need? At this point, the title of boyfriend/girlfriend only serves to weigh him down.

Why Would My Ex Say That He Still Loves Me?

Two reasons. One, he really does still love you. His feelings for you are genuine, even if he hasn’t recommitted to a relationship yet.

But the other reason? It’s because he doesn’t want you to leave. He’s using the “I’m still in love with you” line as a way to keep you bound to him. It’s a tool he whips out whenever he feels you pulling away… whenever he feels like you might be getting fed up with his indecision, or tired of waiting. This is where he pours on the charm, and says all those things he knows you want to hear. And this, again, is selfish.

How Can I Get Him Back?

Again, the situation won’t change until YOU do something about it. So if you want your ex back? You’ll need to be proactive, rather than reactive, about the whole post-breakup situation.

Your first move is to create a void in his life. You do this by pulling away – as much as it might hurt right now. Only by making your boyfriend miss you can you actually create a need to have you as his girlfriend again. Only when he feels like he might lose you will he begin to evaluate you as a potential girlfriend rather than just ‘his ex’.

You can also use these bonding methods to strengthen past emotional attachments. By doing this, and by using the highlights of your past history together, you can mentally and emotionally bring your boyfriend back to the way things were at the beginning of your relationship. Accomplish this, and he’ll feel the same strong ties and attachments that made him want you as his girlfriend the first time around.

Ultimately, you never want to stay in this position too long. Being the “cool ex girlfriend” he can hang out with (and maybe sleep with) will eventually get you Friend-Zoned. And if you want this guy back as your boyfriend again? That’s absolutely the last thing you want.

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Take the Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Quiz

Does he still love you? Sometimes it’s not easy to tell. Guys can send very mixed feelings your way after a breakup, and their intentions are never 100% clear.

To understand whether or not you’ve still got a shot, you need to know how your ex really feels. You have to dig deep, to where unresolved emotional bonds are still tying him to you in one way or another. And more often than not, this is not something your ex is going to be open about, or disclose willingly.

Get Your Ex Back Quiz

The following Quiz can tell you a whole bunch of stuff about your ex boyfriend. Answering honestly, you’ll learn:

  • What it means when he’s still calling you, and how you can get your ex to call.
  • How much you should read into it when your boyfriend keeps ‘running into’ you.
  • What the type of contact your ex makes says about his future intentions.
  • How the way he broke up with you can affect whether or not he still sees the two of you together.
  • How any communication he has with your family and friends can be a big sign he’s ready to take you back.
  • Why the excuses he gives for calling you can hint at the possibility of an apology or reconciliation.
  • The true reason(s) he may have broken up with you (which are not always what he originally told you).
  • Why your ex bringing up the past can be a big tell when it comes to getting back together.
  • Exactly what it means when you have intimacy after the breakup (sex with your ex).

These are only a few of the areas covered by this 18-question quiz. At the end the quiz is fully scored, and points tallied to give a total. The higher your score, the greater the chance your boyfriend still wants you back. From there recommendations are made, based upon how you scored and which questions received stronger answers.

The entire Get Your Ex Back Quiz can be found here. Check it out, and see how high a score you get.

Connecting With Your Ex Boyfriend After the Breakup

In some cases you’ll want to walk away from a bad relationship. But in others? You’ll feel like the whole thing is unfinished. As if you really could be good together, if only the two of you could get past a few hurdles.

Knowing what those hurdles are is usually difficult. Many relationships end with a bunch of fighting or bad feelings, and others just end with two people shutting up and walking away. Getting back in touch after that can be difficult. Contacting your ex is like putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for rejection, if the type of contact you make with him is unwanted.

If your ex hasn’t called or contacted you at all, calling him isn’t the answer. Not now, while he still hasn’t had time to miss you. But then many times, an ex boyfriend will want to stay in touch with you after breaking things off. He’ll send text messages, or even encourage you to do the same. He might even suggest staying friends with him, but if you want him back? This type of arrangement will only lessen your chances at ever being his girlfriend again… and for a good many reasons.

Remember: you can’t force someone to be with you. You can only make them see what they’ll be missing, and to do that, you need to go away for a while. In cutting yourself entirely from your boyfriend’s life you can play upon the existing emotional bonds he’s currently trying to bury. And if those bonds are strong enough? He’ll miss you enough that he’ll need you back, or at least need to start hearing from you again… and this is when he’ll make that call.

Learn the best methods to accelerate your ex missing you, and use them to speed up the process of fixing your breakup. These work more efficiently when you employ them closest to your breakup date, so don’t wait forever.

And in the meantime? Take the quiz to see exactly where you stand on the path to getting back together.

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