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My Ex Still Answers My Texts – What Does it Mean?

One of the more confusing aspects of breaking up is an ex who keeps in touch with you afterward. Especially when that person acts as if it’s perfectly normal to stay in touch, keep up past levels of communication, or even ‘stay friends’ afterward.

Anthony Malibu - Ex Still Texting You

For your ex, this is a comfortable situation. He or she still gets the security of still talking to you, which is an advantage when it comes to letting go. It always hurts less to let someone go over a longer period of time rather than just cut ties all at once, which is why most people will keep up some level of contact even after breaking up.

So what does it mean when your ex is still texting you?

Are they just looking out for you? Trying to be friendly?

Or is there some other underlying reason for them to keep texting you after breaking things off?

Well first, a lot can be said by the way the two of you broke up. In the case where the breakup was mutual (or at least you agreed that it was), texting each other might be an extension of habit. You’ve been talking all through your relationship, and since you parted ways with no really bad feelings, staying in contact seems fairly natural.

In other cases though, when an ex is still texting you? It’s probably because he or she has some unfinished business.

How to Use Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re the one who got dumped, obviously you’d like to fix the situation. Getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend might prompt you to continue texting with them purely for your own interests. You want to keep talking with them. You don’t want them to lose interest. You love them, and would hate to lose them, so you’re willing to hang on to any last scrap of the former relationship no matter how big or small.

In truth however, constantly texting with your ex is counterproductive to getting them back. Because you can’t fix your breakup until:

  • Your ex misses you.
  • Your ex needs you.
  • Your ex sees you as attractive again.

Those three things. That’s it. That’s all it takes to get back together again.

Now getting your ex to miss you, right off the bat, is a huge problem if you’re still carrying on a textual relationship. By not taking yourself out of his or her life, you’re not creating a hole where you used to be. You’re still there. You’re only a few buttons away at any given time, and that knowledge gives your ex the security to continue being without you. Because in many ways, they still have you.

If your ex doesn’t miss you, they’ll never need you back. If you never go away, they never have to experience a life without you in it. So right away you’ve got two strikes going for you.

Finally, your ex broke up with you for a reason. Maybe even a few reasons. But whatever those were, they added up to the same thing: the romance lost something along the way. Whatever attracted your boyfriend or girlfriend to you in the first place wore off, and this was a combination of physical looks, emotional attachments, and personality traits that made them interested in you.

When you keep texting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll see it as needy. They’ll see it as a sign that you need them more than they need you. Especially if you’re answering the texts very quickly, or flirting with your responses.

Think of it this way; we all want someone desirable. Someone who’s cool and attractive to the point where they’re almost unattainable. Capturing that person’s interest is a huge part of the courtship process. Getting them to like and appreciate you is your ultimate goal.

So when you’re already doing these things? When your ex already has your undivided attention? There’s no chase. You’ve eliminated the courtship process and gone straight to “hey, here I am, take me when you want me”, and at the same time, you’ve given your ex no particular reason to still want you back. Nothing has really changed. Even the texts have been the same.

To win your ex back, you need to break this cycle. You need to withdraw, shake things up, and let your ex know he or she stands to really lose you – and for good too – if they don’t immediately start chasing you again.

Your first step? Taking Away your Ex’s Safety Net. Because once you do this, the breakup roles are entirely reversed. The power your ex took when they broke things off shifts back to you, and you can then use that power to make them want you again.

You also learn tons more about texing your ex (and how you can use text-messages to lure them back), by watching this video. It’s a great tool for those trying to re-attract an ex boyfriend or girlfriend strictly using text messages.

But for now, stop texting your ex. Don’t answer for a while and see what happens. Some of the best advice you can get involves turning your phone off, putting it in a drawer, and going out and having a great time WITHOUT your ex (and without your cellphone). Your LIFE is the thing that makes you attractive to someone. Not your text-messages.

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3 Simple Tricks That Will Make Your ExGirlfriend Come Running Back

When it comes to fixing a breakup, a lot of guys think they know what they’re doing. They see the problem as a matter of cause and effect: first you find out what the problem is, and then you come up with a solution.

Anthony Malibu - Get Her Back

Ah, if only girls were really that easy.

In truth, a girl will not always list the REAL problems she has with you. By the time she’s fed up enough to break things off, she might just want you to go away.

If this is the case, she’ll do anything just to shove you aside. She’ll bruise your ego. Tell you things that aren’t necessarily true. She might even take all the blame on herself, giving you the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Even when you know the problem is most likely YOU.

So how do you fix a breakup like this? When your girlfriend is being stingy with the information, and stubborn to the point of ignoring you completely?

Well, that’s when it’s time to take back CONTROL.

Acting from a position of weakness will always fail. This is exactly what happens to most people; they fail to get back together because they couldn’t stop doing “stuff”. What stuff? Well, it didn’t matter. They felt their ex slipping away, so they started doing anything and everything to get them back.

The problem with that outlook is that it ends up destroying your chances. You’re acting irrationally, and without any strength. Your ex isn’t receptive to hearing from you, so anything you do only pisses her off. And as you do more and more of it? She begins to ignore your every move. You’ve become nothing but a nuisance to her.

He Who Controls the Breakup Controls What Happens Next

Read that headline again. Whether or not you fix things and get back with your ex is determined by ONE person, not the both of you. And in every case, it’s determined by the person who has the control.

When your girl broke up with you, she seized all the control. It’s up to you to wrest it back from her, and to do that, you need to be very indifferent as to whether you get back together or not. You have to be smooth. You have to be particular. You have to demonstrate only the best and most attractive qualities, while suppressing the qualities that always drive women away.

1)   Control Yourself

To win back the interest of anyone who dumped you, you need to be on your best behavior. So eliminate anything and everything that might make you feel negative, or sad, or sulking.

Neediness is disgustingly unmanly. Clinginess is a death-sentence. Acting bitter or pissed about the relationship ending will make you seem like the world’s biggest sore loser, and will only make your girlfriend feel more secure that her decision was the right one.

Eliminate ALL of these behaviors. No matter how you feel on the inside, on the outside you have to be stone cold. And believe it or not? By not acting this way you’re going to find yourself in a much better mood. A much more positive frame of mind, from which it becomes a lot easier to re-attract your ex.

2)   Control How Your Ex Girlfriend Sees You

You have full control over how your ex sees you, so take advantage of that fact. When she looks back to see how you’re doing, you must be doing absolutely awesome.

This means you need to be happy. Excited. Exciting. You should be active and energetic and full of charisma. Instead of being alone and lonely, you should be surrounded by friends. Your social calendar should keep you so busy it’s hard to find time for anything negative in your life, and this is exactly the sort of thing that will make your girl wonder why she dumped you in the first place.

3)   Control How Much Contact You Have With Your Ex

As you already should no, there’s a No Contact Phase to every breakup. This is when you shouldn’t be talking to or texting your ex, no matter how hard that might seem, and no matter whether or not you told her you’d still “remain friends” with her.

YOU are the only person who has control over whether you reach out to your ex or not. And if she calls or contacts you? Well, that’s even better because the control then shifts to you. Each phone call, each text message your girlfriend sends after dumping you – no matter what the subject or what it’s about – erodes away just a little more of her own power. And it gives that power back to you.

So when your girl calls? Ignore it for a day before calling her back. When she texts you? Wait several hours before responding. Remember: CONTROL. You’re keeping up the appearance that you don’t need her, or desire to hear from her, even though inwardly you’re working to get her back.

There are 6 Individual Steps to getting your girlfriend back, so learn every single one of them. Every breakup has a reconciliation window, but no window stays open forever.

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How to Keep Your Break From Becoming a Breakup

So you’re on a ‘break’… or you took ‘time off’ from the relationship. Or maybe your partner just needed ‘space’, or even ‘time to think’.

Sound familiar? That’s because your boyfriend or girlfriend is unhappy. They’re putting your relationship in a holding pattern, while you sit there doing nothing and hoping that somehow, someway, things will get miraculously better.

Stop Break From Becoming Breakup

Are you all ready to do that?

Of course not.

Because right here, right now, I’m going to show you how to stop and reverse your breakup. And make no mistake about it, that’s exactly what this is; a breakup just waiting to be finalized, and through no fault or control of your own.

Putting any relationship on the back burner is always a bad idea. That’s because ‘taking time off’ is usually the first step toward a much larger and more permanent problem; breaking up for good.

Why Does My Lover Want to Take a Break?

Whatever vague, bullshit reason your boyfriend or girlfriend gave you for needing a break, the first thing you should acknowledge is how lame it is. No one needs “space” from someone they love to the point of excluding them from their lives. Nobody needs to “work on themselves for a while” unless they’re training for the Olympics, and for God’s sake nobody needs time apart “to see just how much we really love each other” when that time could be spent, oh, I don’t know, actually trying to love each other.

The fact is, your partner wants something entirely different. Let me translate it for you:

“Hey, listen. I was thinking of seeing other people. Or maybe even trying to date other people, and you know, see if that works out for me”.

“But just in case it doesn’t? I’d like you to still be around waiting for me.
So let’s call it a ‘break’ instead of a ‘breakup”.

“Of course this means I get to do whatever the hell I want, and you get to sit here and wait for me under the guise of ‘I need some space’.”

In other words: “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

Obviously, none of this is fair. Your partner is exploiting his or her sense of power. They realize that you want or need them just a little bit more than they need you, and they’re using that little fact to test the boundaries of your relationship.

Most people, unfortunately, go along with the break. They see no alternative because they’re too afraid of losing their lover for good. This might be where you are now, having lowered your head and agreed to whatever obscure terms your now exboyfriend or exgirlfriend laid out when they semi-dumped you. You hope they’ll come to their senses and return, but in the back of your mind you’re terrified that they won’t.

What to Do When You’re ‘On a Break’

Oddly enough, rocking the boat is exactly what you need to do if you want any chance of being with this person again. Going along with the break will almost certainly lead to the end of your relationship, because even if this person does come back they’re only going to abuse their sense of power again and again until the two of you finally break up.

A relationship should be EQUAL. The love you give should be the same as the love you receive. The best partnerships are built on trust and respect, not on forced commitment and the constant fear of being left alone.

So what should you do when your boyfriend or girlfriend wants ‘time apart’ or ‘space’ or some other nonsense? Easy. You walk in the opposite direction.

Rather than meekly going along with whatever vague terms are set as far as hanging out, contacting them, etc… you smirk back at your boyfriend or girlfriend and say:

“Yeah… thanks but no thanks. I stopped doing the whole
‘we’re on a break’ thing back in the 7th grade.”

Sneer at it. Make fun of it. Make sure your lover realizes how stupid they ought to feel, asking you to take something as important as your relationship and relegate it to some weird limbo.

When they try to reword things or push the issue, tell them:

“If you don’t want to date me, fine. Let’s break up. We can both do our own thing and both go off and see other people. But I’m sure as hell not
doing this ‘take time apart’ crap.”

Say this, and you’ll find your lover picking his or her jaw up off the floor. Why? Because it’s totally not what they expected. You’re doing the exact opposite of what they thought you would do, which was jumping through hoops in order to keep them.

In truth? Your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want to break up right now. If that was their intention, they would’ve put it a lot differently. Instead, they wanted a ‘break’ because it allowed them time to test the waters. To jump on over the fence and check if the grass was really greener, with the comfort and knowledge you’d let them jump back to YOU if the grass on the other side of the fence totally sucked.

Instead, you’re telling them no. You’re telling them you won’t be there when they get back. You’re also letting them know you’re ready to ‘do your own thing’ as soon as possible, which will make your partner – who is still very attached to you – ten times more upset than anything else.

Learn the rest of these Counter-Rejection Techniques if you feel your relationship is threatened by an unwanted break. They’re are an amazing way to stop and reverse the detachment process, by forcing your boyfriend or girlfriend to completely reevaluate how they feel about you.

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Your ExBoyfriend Wants to Stay Friends – Why It’s a Great Sign

Going through a breakup is confusing. Sometimes a guy will ask to stay friends with you afterward, but not really mean it. But other guys will actually want to keep in contact with you, and expect you to stay in touch with them as well.

Boyfriend Wants to Be Friends

If this is the scenario you’re going through, it’s usually a good sign. Because when you’ve had a close relationship with somebody, it’s not always easy to sever every last attachment… especially in the case where your ex boyfriend still hasn’t fully resolved his feelings for you.

Being friends with your ex might seem like a great idea. In reality though, there’s a good chance of you getting hurt.

Sure, you’ll still get to keep in touch with and even see your ex. But as he starts doing new things (without you) and eventually begins dating other people? Your heart will break twice as hard because you’ll have to watch the whole thing from a front-row seat… as his “good friend”.

By the same token, think about when you possibly meet someone else. Think your new guy is going to be cool with you staying in touch and constantly contacting your ex boyfriend?

Of course not. There will be jealousy, there will be envy, and there will be fights over the whole thing.

Being Friends With Your Ex to Get Him Back

A lot of women think that by staying friendly with an ex boyfriend, they’re maximizing their chances of getting back together. As if always being around, in plain sight, and keeping up communication with their ex will suddenly make him realize he still loves you.

The reality is that just the opposite will happen.

First of all, you’re giving your ex boyfriend all the things that he needs from you. Love, attention, friendship… and probably even sex. Lots of exes that hang out together end up sleeping together in a type of friends-with-benefits arrangement. And while that’s fine if you have no romantic attachments, it’s going to break your heart if you still love your exboyfriend and want him back.

In this scenario, your ex never feels compelled to ask you to be his girlfriend again. Why? Because has has everything already. You’ve made him comfortable. You’ve made him content. And you’ve done this all without the added pressure of being girlfriend/boyfriend; he doesn’t really have to answer to you about anything because he’s not truly your boyfriend.

The Good Thing About Your Ex Wanting to Be Friends

Now there’s still a silver lining here. Because if your boyfriend asked to remain friends even after dumping you, it’s because he still isn’t ready to let you go.

To him, it would be better if you were waiting around, just in CASE he decides he wants you back. And many girls are okay with this, hanging in the wings while their exboyfriends go out and do whatever they want to do, including dating other people, and are still willing to eventually take them back.

But if you don’t WANT your ex to date anyone else? If you actually want him back now instead of later? Well, then that’s easy. You have to refuse to be friends with him.

“Listen, I love you… but I can’t be friends with you. Friendship isn’t what I want from you, so I think it would be better if we both just went our separate ways.”

This is just one of four different counter-rejection techniques you need to learn if you want to get your boyfriend back. Rather than going along with what your boyfriend wants (and expects) from you, you’re pushing him out of his comfort zone by going in the opposite direction.

See, your boyfriend doesn’t want to lose you completely. Not now. Not all at once. He expected to let go of you gradually, so that it didn’t bother him as much. Kind of like peeling a Band-Aid off slowly rather than quickly, to minimize the pain.

And of course, as we all know, that never works. So what you’re doing here is telling him “hey, I’m not going to wait around for you while you do that”. This forces your ex to make hard choices about losing you for good. Which is something he never has to do if you’re sitting there smiling back at him from a role of “friendship”.

In the end, don’t settle for just being friends. Not if what you REALLY want is your boyfriend back. The road to reconciliation doesn’t lead through friendship. It’s an entirely different path you need to take that will rebuild your relationship rather than forge some kind of pseudo one-sided friendship.

There are 6 Individual Steps needed to get him back, so find out what they are! The sooner you get started on winning his heart, the easier it will be to call yourself his girlfriend again.

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Why Does My Ex Keep Sending Mixed Signals?

So they broke up with you… then they call you. They tell you to leave them alone, then you get a late-night text message from them…

What gives? Is your ex just doing all this to torture you, or do they really have some kind of unknown agenda in mind?

Ex Sending Mixed Signals

Mixed signals are some of the hardest things to figure out when dealing with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. The hot-and-cold nature of speaking to someone who isn’t sure of what they want can be confusing and infuriating, not to mention the roller-coaster ride of hope and hopelessness you’re forced to go on when your ex keeps stringing you along.

The first thing to understand here is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also going through a breakup. Just because he or she seemed sure about ending things doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing many of the same things you are.

Heartbreak, loneliness – these things are running through your ex’s mind too. Since they’re the ones who decided to break up, the decision still weighs heavily on them, and usually for some time afterward. Even if your ex started seeing someone new, there will always be lingering emotional ties. And some of these ties will be so strong, that they feel compelled to get in touch with you, or even ask to see you again.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Calls or Texts

Any contact from your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is almost universally a sign of interest. Unless they’re getting back in touch to pick up something they left at your place (and even sometimes then), they’re contacting you because they have a NEED for such contact. This need is fulfilled the minute you pick up the phone or text them back, so you should be very careful with how you respond. If you’re not in agreement with the breakup and really want them back? Answering them right away might seem a little needy or desperate on your part.

The worst thing you could do at this point is ‘chase’ your ex through these hot and cold moments. Because sometimes, all they want from you is the knowledge you’re still there. You’ll get ex boyfriends or girlfriends who give you the:

“Hi! Just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything…”

This is basically for their benefit and not yours; your ex really doesn’t care much about how you’re doing at this point, but care more about whether or not you’re still ‘around’ in case they decide to call off the breakup. Whether you tell them you’re okay or NOT okay doesn’t matter. What matters is you answered them, and this is pretty much all they really wanted.

Another thing an ex will do is try to string you along with stuff like:

“I’ll always love you, but I’m just not in love with you.”

This is the equivalent of putting you on a shelf for later on. You’ve been Friend-Zoned. Put somewhere you have no power, yet still have to answer to your ex if they happen to need you for moral support, a dilemma, or just a shoulder to cry on.

Allow yourself to be put on this shelf, and you’re effectively ending any chance you might have of being with this person again. Because whenever you play the “I’ll be there for you” game, you’re only going to be there when HE or SHE needs you, and not when you need something from them.

Texting Your Ex – What to Do After the Breakup

There are a lot of texts that happen after relationships end, and you should know how to respond to them. Some texts might come off as innocent, but in reality they’re really not.

You can even use other texts to help get your ex back. These you need to know inside and out before you send them however, because not texting your ex the right thing can have big consequences that negatively affect your ability to look positive and favorable in their eyes.

Ultimately, how you handle talking to or even seeing your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is up to you. It eventually boils down to how much you want to include them in your life, or whether you’re trying to cut them loose altogether. Each way, contact should be something you’re careful with. You’ve been hurt once, and you don’t want to get hurt again.

There are 6 Individual Steps necessary to Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend, so find out what they are!

And for women trying to fix a breakup? Check out the same 6 steps with a slightly different perspective at How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.

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3 Horrendous Behaviors Stopping You From Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Still wondering why she broke up with you? If you are, it’s probably because your girl hasn’t given you the real reasons for her not wanting to continue the relationship anyway.

You probably got something like “We’re just not compatible” or “we both want different things”. Or the infamous but ever-popular “I’m just too busy to commit to a relationship right now”, followed four days later by finding out your girlfriend is already dating someone else.

Pushing Girlfriend Away

Even more vague: “I need time alone, to think”. As if your girl was taking time off to solve some kind of complex mathematical equations. Maybe she’s deriving the rocket trajectory for the next SpaceX mission. Or maybe – just maybe – she’s bullshitting you so you’ll just go away.

Kidding aside, a girl will rarely give you the true reasons for ending a relationship. This is because, at the moment, she just wants OUT. Escape is a lot easier if you don’t make any effort to keep her, and telling you exactly what’s bothering her will only make you think that you can fix it.

So how do you know why she broke up with you? What kinds of things should you be looking for? Aside from “spending more time together” and the rest of the crap going through your mind, here are four REAL reasons your girlfriend will dump you. Correct them, and maybe you can get yourself un-dumped:

You’re a Big Rolling Snowball of Insecurity

The single biggest turnoff for women is a guy who’s insecure. And that’s because woman want a man who is strong, inside and out, and insecurity displays nothing but fear and weakness.

Guys who are insecure come off as annoyingly paranoid. They’re constantly asking their girlfriends “do you still love me?” and always trying to compare themselves to previous lovers. Insecure guys want to be told they’re the best, or at least better than the last boyfriend, because it’s the only way they can justify staying in the current relationship.

Insecurity leads to worse behaviors too. Whenever you see a guy putting his girlfriend down, berating her, or constantly belittling her accomplishments? It’s because he feels insecure about his own life. Rather than try to bring himself up he drags everyone else down, especially the girl he’s dating because she’s the one who’s closest to him.

You’re That Overbearing, All-Controlling Jerk You Always Hated in Movies

Do you monitor your girlfriend’s time? Ask her “where were you?” and “why did it take you so long to do XYZ?” Are you that guy who swipes his girlfriend’s phone and checks through her messages to make sure no other guy is trying to get with or even talk to her?

Yeah, that guy is a dick. And if you’re that guy you won’t even see it, because in your mind you’re totally normal.

Controlling behavior ALWAYS ends in a breakup. This is because you can keep your girlfriend down only for so long, and then eventually, she’ll start to escape. She’ll start to lie. You’ll catch her in some lies, and trust will be broken, and fights will ensue.

Eventually, she’ll sneak away. It’ll be like a game to her. It’ll be almost cathartic for her to sneak time for herself, and eventually she’ll start seeing other people. And when she’s gained enough independence that she’s ready to walk? Nothing you can say is going to change her mind.

You’re Jealous of Everything Under the Sun (and Maybe Even The Sun)

Jealousy is insecurity’s older brother… the bigger, meaner, more ugly brother that likes to kick the hell out of everyone around him.

If you find yourself jealous of every little thing about your girlfriend, chances are good she’s ready to pull her hair out. Some guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s friends, of their job, even of their successes. Other guys are jealous of their girlfriend’s past history, to where they fight over stuff that happened before they even got together, and want to beat up other guys they never even met.

If you’ve got that constant jealous knot sitting in the pit of your stomach, it’s going to destroy all chances of fixing your relationship. You’ve got to untangle that knot, and just let stuff go. The faster you can do that, the happier you’ll be.

How to Get Your ExGirlfriend Back

Breakups are always reversible, for a time anyway. So depending on how long it’s been, and what mistakes you’ve made since your girlfriend dumped you, the path to getting back together is something you need to start walking SOONER rather than later.

Making bad moves is even worse than making none at all. This Step by Step System for winning her back is probably the single biggest step you can take toward fixing your breakup.

Learn ALL of the techniques necessary to making her want you back, and more important than anything else, find out the 12 biggest blunders guys make when trying to get their ex girlfriends to go back out with them again.

In the end, knowledge is everything. You only get one good shot at winning back your girlfriend’s attention and respect. So the more you know before even getting started? The better your results will be.

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