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4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Called

It’s the worst feeling ever: your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. And then in the hours and days afterward, your phone goes totally silent.

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They don’t call. They don’t text.

Your ex refuses to communicate with you in any way at all.

Everything is quiet, and you’re left wondering if your former boyfriend or girlfriend still has any feelings for you whatsoever. You’re completely in the dark as to how they’re feeling, emotionally or physically, and the sensation of NOT knowing hurts worse than anything you’ve felt before.

So why won’t your ex call or text you?

What’s keeping them from wanting to hear from you again, or at least answer your text-messages and voicemails?

The answer to those questions might be internal. Meaning that your ex isn’t contacting you because of something you did, or are currently doing, that would keep them from wanting to hear your voice.

And in other cases? It could also be a lack of action on your part. Because while it’s always best to leave your ex alone for a while after they dump you, there are also some quick adjustments you can make during the interim that will help recapture their interest and even lure them back in your direction.

So why wouldn’t your ex call or contact you? Let’s examine the four MAIN reasons your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t been blowing up your phone… yet.

You’re Still Resisting the Breakup

A breakup isn’t like a fight. It’s not something you can win, especially right now, and especially since your ex already spent a significant amount of time making up their mind to leave you in the first place.

So resisting the breakup? That’s only going to piss your boyfriend or girlfriend off. You’re essentially ignoring what they have to say, while flying the banner of “we should still be together!” back and forth in front of their face.

Think they’re gonna listen? Of course not. Because right now, just after they dumped you, your ex wants to do only one thing: GET AWAY FROM YOU.

No, they don’t hate you. No, they don’t loathe your presence. But currently, your ex has a very poor opinion of you. You’ve lost value in their eyes, and the last thing you want to do is try to argue your case from a disadvantaged position. So the BEST thing to do? Nod your head in agreement, then turn and walk away.

Now don’t get upset; this is a temporary measure. Agreeing with and accepting the breakup is something you MUST do, but only for now. Later on, when you’ve given your ex time to miss you (and need you back in their life again), you’ll use these reconnection techniques to make them want a relationship again. But not right now. And not while the idea of ditching you is still fresh in their mind.

You’re Won’t Stop Calling or Texting Your Ex

Getting back together follows a very simple formula: you’re apart for a while, your ex starts missing you, and then contact is made again.

The problem these days, with all the text-messaging, is that no one ever gets the chance to actually MISS anyone else. So if you’re still calling or texting or Facebooking or Instagramming or whatever other thing you’re doing to your ex? That person has LOTS of you in their life… and zero opportunity to actually miss you.

Winning your ex’s heart requires that you go away for a while. I know that this is hard. It takes a lot of willpower not to look at your ex’s social media pages, or send them a few “innocent” texts to see how they’re doing. But know that NO text message is innocent. EVERY time you make contact with your ex you’re actually pushing them a little further away… at least in the beginning, before you’ve gotten to the point where your contact is welcomed by them again.

You’re Trying to Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity

We’ve all seen it; that really bad breakup that starts with crying, begging, pleading… and ultimately ends with the whole “I can’t live without you” (and sometimes even threats of hurting oneself if the other person won’t take them back).

All of that stuff is high school bullshit. It’s drama you don’t need, and worst of all, it’s demeaning to the person who does it.

Get it through your head right now: your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to “come back” to you out of guilt or pity. And even if they did, would you want them to? I mean, that’s just pathetic. You’re manipulating someone into staying in a place they don’t want to be. How long do you think that will last?

And hey, wouldn’t you rather your ex WANT to go out with you again, instead of being forced or coerced into dating you for some reason? Of course you would. Which is why trying to manipulate or trick your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend into still dating you is the most damaging thing you can do to any future you might have together.

Trust me when I say your ex wants someone who’s strong, not weak. Someone who’s confident, not insecure. Someone who has VALUE.

This is why they dumped you to begin with; you no longer held the same appeal as when they first started dating you. So to get them back? You’ll need to figure out what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place and start living that former life again. This isn’t “changing” for your ex’s sake, it’s more like going back to how things were at the beginning (i.e. honeymoon phase) of your romance. Back when everything was golden, and nothing could break the two of you apart.

Your Ex Can Still See That You Haven’t Moved On

Know what makes your former lover interested in you again? Seeing others interested in you as well.

This is where they start to question their decision. This is where they go: “Shit, he/she’s already dating someone else? Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with them.”

The fear of actually losing you is one of the major motivating factors in getting an ex to take you back. Because while they think they can still have you? There’s no real incentive not to be single (and looking for somebody else).

When your ex looks back over his or her shoulder they should see NOTHING after the breakup. No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook updates, no Instagram posts. It should be almost like you disappeared off the face of the planet, and this will worry them. Immediately they’ll begin questioning the idea of cutting you loose, simply because you don’t even seem to care that they broke up with you in the first place.

Contact initiated by your ex is the BEST contact there is, and this is where reconciliation is only a few steps away. There are lots more ways to get your ex to call or text you. Learn what they are below, and make sure to use each of these techniques at the right time:

CLICK HERE for girls trying to get back with an ex boyfriend

CLICK HERE for guys trying to get back an ex girlfriend

And for a more complete, comprehensive guide on how to handle text-messages between you and your ex, check out the free videos at Text Your Ex Back.

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3 Important Texts You Can Send to Your Ex

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear: texting your ex during the NO CONTACT phase of the breakup is almost always a bad idea. There are some very big reasons you need to leave your ex alone during this stage, so if you haven’t read them already, check them out by going here.

Messages to Send Your Ex

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

The most desired of all communication, when you’re trying to get back together, is any form of contact initiated by your ex. The fact that your former boyfriend or girlfriend is calling or texting you, rather than the other way around, shows a lot more in the way of serious interest.

There are ways of getting your ex to call or text you. Some are fairly obvious. Others are a lot more subtle.

All of them however, can put you back in the driver’s seat. You take back a lot of that missing power and control when your ex is forced to make that extremely coveted first move.

Yet before even that can happen, you’ll need to use these emotional bonding techniques to make your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend MISS you first. When your ex misses you, ANY contact you make with them will be a positive, welcomed connection. This makes your overall chances of getting back together a lot more successful in the end.

Sometimes though, you have to make the first move. There are times when it’s necessary to reach out to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to get things moving in the right direction.

If this is where you’re at, you can often break the ice with a simple text-message. Here are three examples of texts you can send to your ex when you’re looking to reconnect:

The ‘I Agree With the Breakup Text’

If you’ve been fighting the breakup or trying just about everything to get your ex to go back out with you, this is a good one to start with. Essentially you’re coming off as no longer interested in dating this person, but would rather carry on a platonic friendship with them.

You’re going to give them a text they can’t possibly argue with. Something like:

“Hey, what’s up? Listen, you were right about us being better off apart. Sorry it took me a while to get it! Anyway, we were good friends before we started dating, and it would suck to lose that friendship just because we can’t be together. Let me know if you want to get lunch or something, so we can catch up!”

This is a non-threatening, non-confrontational way of accepting the situation for what it is; you’re no longer together, but at the same time you’re looking to save whatever pre-dating relationship (i.e. friendship) you used to have.

This isn’t saying you’re going to be best buddies with your ex – that’s never a good idea. But you’ll make them think you want to be friends in order to jockey for better position when you DO make the bigger moves (step 5 and step 6) later on down the line.

The ‘Nostalgia Trigger’ Text Message

Think back to your past relationship. Where did you go? What did you do? Try to envision which special places or times or even sports teams you shared with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and pick one that’s really GOOD.

You need to grab hold of one he or she will remember. One your ex will associate with you. For example, let’s say you went to the NY Jets games a few times together, and always had an awesome time. At that point you can send a text like:

“Hey, did you see that one-handed catch the other night? That happened
RIGHT where we were sitting last January!”

You can substitute anything here, as long as it’s relevant.

“Holy shit, did you notice [NAME OF A RESTAURANT] burned/closed down the other day? I was just thinking of all the times we went there together!”

“Did you see Terminator 8 yet? It was insane! What was the name of that theater
where we went to see Terminator 7?”

Basically, that sort of thing. You pick something you know was fun or important for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and hopefully something relevant to you relationship. A holiday or event you went to. A favorite band that happens to be back in town again. Then you make an innocent comment on it, in the form of a text message, and follow the reply up with something like “By the way, how’ve you been? Things cool with you?”

The ‘Congratulatory’ or ‘Checking up on Someone’ Text

This is really two different texts, but with the same basic flavor. For this one, you need to pick an event that happened recently in your ex’s life. Maybe they graduated. Maybe they got a new job. Choose something positive, and then text them with:

“Hey, congrats! I heard you were accepted to Cornell! That’s totally awesome!”

You can also use this method to check up on an existing situation in your ex’s family or circle of friends. For this one, you’ll need to have dated them a little longer, so you have a much better clue as to what’s going on in your boyfriend or girlfriend’s social life.

“Just wanted to know how everything worked out for your mom. Is she out
of the hospital yet? Tell her I hope she feels better.”

Again, you want to deliver the message in such a way that you’re almost making small talk. Only it’s not a pointless “Sup?” text, which is the lamest possible thing you can send. You’d be surprised how many people think they can start up a new conversation with something as simple as that, and still expect a positive result.

What to Do if You’re Stuck on How to Make Contact

Sometimes it seems things go awkwardly no matter how you communicate with your ex. You might feel like you’re bothering them, or that they’re really not that interested in hearing from you at all.

When this is the case, you need to up your game. You need to put some new weapons in your arsenal, rather than fight with the same old dull ones you keep trying to no avail.

Text Your Ex Back System

Text Your Ex Back contains some ground-breaking, next-level stuff.

It’s a complete step-by-step SYSTEM showing you how to break the ice, make contact, and continue to communicate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend on only the most positive levels.

Learn what to do… what to say… and exactly WHEN you should be saying it. The system teaches you how to trigger deep-seeded emotional attachments already within your ex’s mind and heart, and then use those attachments to re-generate his or her original feelings for you again.

If you’re looking for the ultimate guide on what to say after a breakup, look no further. Check out the many sharp tools within Text Your Ex Back, and get started right away on the one and only CORRECT path to reconciliation.

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Want Your Girlfriend Back? Don’t Make ANY of These 4 Mistakes!

The road to getting back together can be long or short. Unfortunately, it can also be a marathon.

Anthony Malibu - Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you get too eager or too desperate, your actions can drive your girlfriend completely away. At best, she’ll be annoyed with you. At worst, it can change the way she sees you forever… in some very negative ways.

Again, fixing a breakup is often about what you don’t do. Some guys are so eager to take action – any kind of action – that they’ll trip over their own feet in an effort to fix things that aren’t even broken.

Below are a list of horrendous mistakes you can make while trying to convince a girlfriend to take you back. Make just a few of these blunders, and you’ll lose any shot you have of regaining your old relationship.

Sulking, Crying, Acting Like The World is Ending

Some guys wear their heart on their sleeve. And you know what? Sappy movies, bad TV shows, and Cosmopolitan have done their level best to convince guys to be more emotional. That’s it’s okay to cry, or show their softer side, because girls LOVE that sort of thing.

But nope. Not after a breakup.

There’s no planet in this universe where pity actually works. All the crying in the world isn’t going to make her want you again, and in fact, it’ll make you look like a weak-willed douche. The kind of pansy ANY girl shies away from dating, because that type of person isn’t even a man. You’re a boy at best, crying and sulking and trying to trick your girlfriend into feeling sorry enough for you that she wants to end your pain by agreeing to go back out with you.

Sulking is the WORST thing you can do after a break. It’s a huge turnoff. Your friends, your family – maybe they’ll feel a bit sorry for you, but when it comes to your girlfriend you’re basically telling her “I am no longer boyfriend material.”

Getting Angry or Bitter About the Breakup

In this pathetic display of “strength” you launch a major offensive. Maybe even a verbal (or sometimes physical) tirade against all the wrongs and injustices your girlfriend committed during the course of your relationship.

And guess what? You come off as a crybaby. A bitter asshole she’s glad to be rid of. You’re exhibiting the exact immaturity she doesn’t want in a potential partner, and you’re justifying her decision to break up with you as the RIGHT decision.

You Threaten to Harm Yourself (or Worse, Your Girlfriend)

You shouldn’t be dumb enough to try this one, but I’ll talk about it anyway: YOU’LL NEVER FORCE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP with threats of bodily harm, suicide, or any of that stupid baby bullshit. You’re throwing a tantrum and that’s all it is – that’s all it should ever get recognized for.

Yes you may be frustrated. Yes, it may seem like your girlfriend isn’t answering your calls or listening to your voicemails or responding to your text messages. But that’s fine. There are other ways of getting her to talk to you rather than threatening her, or yourself, with violence.

Never go this route when trying to get your ex back, even if you’re desperate. At best you look like a complete psychopath. At worst you’ll end up in jail, or with an ambulance called to your house by your exgirlfriend because you threatened to hurt yourself.

You Beg Your Girlfriend ‘For Another Chance’ and ‘Promise to Change’

Number one, your girlfriend doesn’t want to give your relationship another chance (at least right now). Number two, begging and pleading are wholly unattractive, especially to a woman, and especially when you’re trying to get that woman to consider you as her ‘man’ again.

A man doesn’t beg. He doesn’t plead. He doesn’t make lame-sounding promises that “things will be different”. A MAN actually walks AWAY after someone dumps him, as if hey, guess what? He’s going to be happier and better off without this person who rejected him anyway.

This sounds like callous macho bullshit, but in reality this is exactly what will turn your girlfriend around. Because the more you beg and plead and act like you actually did something wrong the more it makes you guilty. Guilty of what? Of anything, really. Doesn’t matter, because in looking ‘wrong’ about the relationship it ratifies your girlfriend’s decision to end things.

In re-attracting your girlfriend, indifference is key. You don’t have to be a jerk to her, and you don’t have to treat her like crap. But you DO have to act as if you could care less whether or not you get back together with her. Do that, and you’ll fill her mind with doubt. Do that, and you’ll soon find HER chasing YOU.

Positive Traits That Will Get Your Girlfriend Back

Now that you’ve learned what NOT to do after your girl breaks up with you, it’s time to learn what you can. Here’s a complete list of traits and behaviors women find attractive in men. Learn these well, and you’ll not only fix your breakup, but you’ll master the art of dealing with women as well.

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