When it comes to fixing a breakup, a lot of guys think they know what they’re doing. They see the problem as a matter of cause and effect: first you find out what the problem is, and then you come up with a solution.
Ah, if only girls were really that easy.
In truth, a girl will not always list the REAL problems she has with you. By the time she’s fed up enough to break things off, she might just want you to go away.
If this is the case, she’ll do anything just to shove you aside. She’ll bruise your ego. Tell you things that aren’t necessarily true. She might even take all the blame on herself, giving you the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Even when you know the problem is most likely YOU.
So how do you fix a breakup like this? When your girlfriend is being stingy with the information, and stubborn to the point of ignoring you completely?
Well, that’s when it’s time to take back CONTROL.
Acting from a position of weakness will always fail. This is exactly what happens to most people; they fail to get back together because they couldn’t stop doing “stuff”. What stuff? Well, it didn’t matter. They felt their ex slipping away, so they started doing anything and everything to get them back.
The problem with that outlook is that it ends up destroying your chances. You’re acting irrationally, and without any strength. Your ex isn’t receptive to hearing from you, so anything you do only pisses her off. And as you do more and more of it? She begins to ignore your every move. You’ve become nothing but a nuisance to her.
He Who Controls the Breakup Controls What Happens Next
Read that headline again. Whether or not you fix things and get back with your ex is determined by ONE person, not the both of you. And in every case, it’s determined by the person who has the control.
When your girl broke up with you, she seized all the control. It’s up to you to wrest it back from her, and to do that, you need to be very indifferent as to whether you get back together or not. You have to be smooth. You have to be particular. You have to demonstrate only the best and most attractive qualities, while suppressing the qualities that always drive women away.
1) Control Yourself
To win back the interest of anyone who dumped you, you need to be on your best behavior. So eliminate anything and everything that might make you feel negative, or sad, or sulking.
Neediness is disgustingly unmanly. Clinginess is a death-sentence. Acting bitter or pissed about the relationship ending will make you seem like the world’s biggest sore loser, and will only make your girlfriend feel more secure that her decision was the right one.
Eliminate ALL of these behaviors. No matter how you feel on the inside, on the outside you have to be stone cold. And believe it or not? By not acting this way you’re going to find yourself in a much better mood. A much more positive frame of mind, from which it becomes a lot easier to re-attract your ex.
2) Control How Your Ex Girlfriend Sees You
You have full control over how your ex sees you, so take advantage of that fact. When she looks back to see how you’re doing, you must be doing absolutely awesome.
This means you need to be happy. Excited. Exciting. You should be active and energetic and full of charisma. Instead of being alone and lonely, you should be surrounded by friends. Your social calendar should keep you so busy it’s hard to find time for anything negative in your life, and this is exactly the sort of thing that will make your girl wonder why she dumped you in the first place.
3) Control How Much Contact You Have With Your Ex
As you already should no, there’s a No Contact Phase to every breakup. This is when you shouldn’t be talking to or texting your ex, no matter how hard that might seem, and no matter whether or not you told her you’d still “remain friends” with her.
YOU are the only person who has control over whether you reach out to your ex or not. And if she calls or contacts you? Well, that’s even better because the control then shifts to you. Each phone call, each text message your girlfriend sends after dumping you – no matter what the subject or what it’s about – erodes away just a little more of her own power. And it gives that power back to you.
So when your girl calls? Ignore it for a day before calling her back. When she texts you? Wait several hours before responding. Remember: CONTROL. You’re keeping up the appearance that you don’t need her, or desire to hear from her, even though inwardly you’re working to get her back.
There are 6 Individual Steps to getting your girlfriend back, so learn every single one of them. Every breakup has a reconciliation window, but no window stays open forever.Share this: