Tag Archives: on a break

Boyfriend Wants Space? Here are 3 Things You MUST DO

“I just want some space…”

Is that what he said? Or maybe he worded it differently. “Maybe we should take some time apart?” Or the dreaded: “I just need time to think?”

boyfriend-wants-space

It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend said it, he always means the same thing: we’re about to break up.

Unless, of course, you know EXACTLY what to do.

Right here, right now, your boyfriend has just checked you into relationship limbo. He’s effectively saying “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

So you begged. You pleaded. You told him you’d “change”. In the end you let him know that you really don’t want time apart, but if he really needs it, you’ll give it to him. Right?

Well, that’s about the worst possible thing you could’ve done.

Understand something: when a guy asks for “space” what he really wants is permission to date other girls. What he’s really saying here is “hey, stick around for a while and don’t go anywhere… but at the same time, I’m free to look for other people.”

If you’re not looking to break up with your boyfriend, and you want to get your relationship back on track? You’re going to need to do three things. Here they are:

Refuse the Whole “Time Apart” Bullshit

Your boyfriend offers a time-out from your relationship, or needs space, or wants time to think… but rather than be the good little girlfriend who’s going to give him exactly that, you’re going to do the opposite. You tell him:

“No, sorry. I don’t do ‘space’. If you want to break up, fine, we’ll break up. But I’m not half-assing it, and I’m not waiting around.”

This is exactly what your guy doesn’t want to hear. The fact that he might lose you during the whole “time off” thing is going to freak him out, mainly because he thinks he can control you during this temporary breakup.

Putting your boyfriend on his back foot is the best way to make him realize you as VALUABLE. He’ll never be forced to really see you that way unless you respect yourself enough not to fall for this crap when he first pulls it.

Pre-Emptively Break Up with Him

At this point, the best thing to do is get pissed. Turn to him and say:

“Know what? If you’re really not sure about this whole thing, then I’m not either. Maybe we should just put an end to it completely, and both move on with our lives.”

This is going to scare your boyfriend right down to his balls. Why? Because he DOESN’T WANT THIS. He wanted a nice cushy little “break” where you kept calling and kept texting and kept telling him you loved him. Instead, you just broke up with him… throwing him for a complete loop.

Walk Away While You Have the Upper Hand

And after you tell him you want a breakup? WALK AWAY. Don’t look back, don’t answer your phone, and don’t respond to his text messages.

Your boyfriend will be left with the feeling that he really messed up. He screwed things big time, and he got exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

Most of all, he now stands to actually LOSE you. The fact that you’re not going to be his girlfriend anymore and he might lose you to someone else is going to create instant value in his eyes. Suddenly you’re a commodity he stands to be without, and he’s not going to want that.

Remember: your boyfriend doesn’t want a breakup. He wants a “temporary break”. This is a cowardly way of trying to keep stringing you along (which is what he wants), and now it just backfired in his face.

Now, if the whole “I need some space” thing already happened, and you missed your chance to do these three things? That’s okay. There’s still a backup plan.

First, look for the 7 signs he still loves you. These are easy-to-spot signals your boyfriend will give off when he’s really not ready to lose you.

Beyond that, there’s this One Opening Move guaranteed to make your ex almost immediately want you back! Make sure you do this one early though, because the longer you wait the harder it will be to pull it off.

In the end, NEVER accept the whole “I need space” excuse. Sitting around and waiting for your boyfriend to get back to you is almost always going to lead to a permanent breakup.

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My Girlfriend Wants a Break – What Can I Do?

The words are like getting stabbed in the gut with a rusty knife:

Anthony Malibu - Girlfriend Wants a Break

“I think maybe we should take a BREAK from each other…”

Your mind reels. The blood rushes to your head as you struggle for something to say.

And what do you even say to that? Your girlfriend is rejecting you. Hard. And not just in the traditional breakup sort of way, she’s actually demoting you to the lamest of all possible places in her life: she’s putting you on a shelf, to be dealt with ‘later on’ (or whenever she feels like it).

If your girlfriend wants to take a break, you’d better act fast. Any sort of inaction or complacency on your part will result in her continuing the break for as long as she wants. This, essentially, is like handing her all the power. You’re giving her the keys to your relationship and telling her she gets to drive.

Know what happens next? She drops you off. Or maybe she kicks you out of the car while it’s still moving. Either way, your girl isn’t likely to change the ‘break’ status anytime soon, as long as you’re peacefully and obediently going along with it like a good little boy.

What to Say When Your Girlfriend Wants Time Apart

You say NO. Plain and simple. You need to be firm, you need to be rigid, and you need to be STONE COLD in your attitude.

“No, but thanks anyway. I don’t ‘do’ breaks. Breaks are bullshit.”

If you ever wonder why a girl would tell you she wants a break instead of a straight-up breakup, it really boils down to one thing: uncertainty. Your now ex-girlfriend is hedging her bets. She’s not 100% ready to let you go just yet, so she does the next best thing; she strings you along. She dangles the carrot of ‘maybe we’ll get back together’ in front of your face while she goes out and plays the field and decides whether or not she can find some other guy – some stronger guy – who makes her feel more wanted and loved and safe and secure than you do.

If your girlfriend springs the whole ‘time apart’ thing on you, it’s because you’ve been weak. Either you haven’t been fulfilling her needs, or you’ve been wishy-washy as a boyfriend in general. Maybe you’re insecure. Maybe you’re always apologizing for everything, or joking that you’re dating ‘out of your league’. All of these things will make a girl wonder why she’s with you in the first place. In short, you’re digging your own grave.

By denying her the break you’re delivering a message. You’re essentially rejecting her as much as she’s rejecting you. Because rather than scramble to get her back, or try to “fight” for the relationship (which is exactly what she wants), you’re crumpling the romance into a ball and casually tossing it over your shoulder.

She wants a break? Fine. No problem. You’re TOTALLY willing to go out and see other people yourself. Tell her this, and see how fast she changes her tune. Mention this to her, and see how quickly she tells you “Well, I don’t think we should see other people, I just think we should take some time apart.”

She’s backpedaling. At which point you say:

“Yeah, no thanks. If we’re together, we’re TOGETHER. If we’re not, we’re not. I’m not doing things half-assed. I’m not going to sit around in some lame relationship limbo while waiting for you to figure things out.”

Be TOUGH. It’s the only way to keep her. It’s the only way to make your girlfriend come face to face with the reality of losing you all at once, rather than letting you go little by little while she ‘decides’ whether or not she can find some other guy.

The WORST THING YOU CAN DO When Your Girlfriend Wants Time Apart

Keep in mind that when your girlfriend offers ‘a break’ the very first thing she expects is resistance. She wants you to fight. She wants to see how much you really do care. Begging, pleading – all of these things seem like they might help get her back, but in reality they’re only going to turn her off even more and ratify the decision she already made to distance herself from you.

Your girlfriend also wants you to talk her out of the break. At this point she won’t ever be talked out of it, but she wants to see you try. This is because when you’re groveling for her approval she’s suddenly in the position of being right (and you’re in the position of being instantly wrong). She assumes control. She’s using the break as a scare tactic to gauge your reaction, and most of all, to see if you’re worthy of actually dating her.

So yeah, it’s a test. A test of your manhood. Chase her, and you fail. Come up with 1,000 reasons you should stay together, and she’ll have 1,001 reasons you should be apart. It’s a game, really. And it’s not a game you can win, so you shouldn’t even be playing it.

What to Do if You’re Already on a Break

Now if this conversation already happened and you meekly “agreed” to take time apart? Well, you’re in trouble. Fortunately though, it’s never too late to fix this situation.

Your first move is to employ these counter-rejection techniques. DO THEM NOW, and don’t wait. They’ll get you immediately started on reversing the entire situation, and seizing back most of that power you already lost when you accepted her offer to ‘take a break’ from each other.

After that, it’s time to sack up. Figure out what you’ve been doing (or not doing) to drive her in the opposite direction, and rectify that situation as well. Check out these 4 huge mistakes most guys make when they feel like they’re losing control of their relationship. How many of them are you guilty of?

Ultimately, any ‘break’ will always become a breakup unless you DO SOMETHING about it. Sitting still won’t help. Waiting patiently, and hoping she’ll somehow come to her senses, is the worst possible move. Being proactive here is the most important thing you can do to keep your relationship alive and healthy. Being reactive, unfortunately, will always get you dumped.

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The ONE Thing You Must Do When She Just Wants to Be Friends

For every guy in a relationship there are three in the FRIEND ZONE. Three lost souls stuck in a hopeless limbo, unable to escape to that one magical place they never stop fantasizing about: the position of actually being the boyfriend.

For some people, the Friend Zone can come after a relationship. You’re dating some girl, things are going great (or so you think), and all of a sudden she hits you with those horrible, dreaded words:

Anthony Malibu - Let's Just Be Friends

“I think we’d be better off as friends

Your heart sinks. Your mouth tastes like you just swallowed a bottle of glue.

FRIENDS? REALLY?

So how’d it happen? Could it be that all of a sudden she doesn’t ‘like’ you like that?

Were you boring? Were you lame? Was the sex not good? Exactly how the hell did you manage to get demoted from boyfriend status to someone who’s now “just a friend”?

The Two Main Reasons a Girl Will Friend-Zone You

Truth be told, there are only two big reasons a girl will pick you up and hurl you into the Friend Zone. The first one is obvious: she’s into someone else. There’s some other guy she’d like to date, or potentially like to try to date, and in order to do that she needs to be free of you.

“Friending” you could easily be a way for her to let you down easy. However, it could also be a way of keeping you ‘around’. It’s always nice to know someone still likes you, wants you, and would come back to you at any time. This gives her freedom. Choices. She can try to do something (or someone) better than you, and if it doesn’t work out? Well, there you are. That happy little “friend” she kept on the back burner for that rainy day.

The other reason a girl you’re dating will suddenly want friendship over a relationship is because you’re not being assertive as her boyfriend. In this case she’s friending you because you’re acting like a friend. You’re too passive, too wishy-washy. You’re acting less like her man and more like her ‘buddy’.

Check out this list and see if any of these things sound familiar:

  • You’re doting on her. Constantly. To the point of being annoying.
  • You tell your girlfriend how much you love her WAYYYY more than she tells you.
  • You’ve put her up on a pedestal. To the point where you’re worshipping her as a princess rather than dating her as an equal.
  • You say you’re “sorry” all of the time. Which is weak. Very weak.
  • You buy her stuff consistently, almost to where it feels like (on her end) a payment plan for going out with you.
  • You don’t take the lead. You’re always asking her what “she wants to do”, rather than planning things yourself and actually taking her out.
  • Your dates aren’t very romantic. You take her mundane places and/or hang out with groups of people rather than wine and dine her alone.
  • You’re never assertive. You never grab her and kiss her, or initiate getting physical. Rather you wait for her to do these things, thinking it’s ‘gentlemanly’ to do so.

All of these activities will get you Spartan-kicked into the Friend Zone. FAST. Girls won’t hang with guys like this, and certainly won’t stay with them. They don’t make them feel safe and protected. They don’t make them feel desired in the ways a woman wants a man to desire them. And that’s because your actions are more friendly than romantic.

If you’ve never dated this girl before, here are 3 big ways you can instantly escape the Friend Zone. And hey, you’re welcome.

But if you’re already in a relationship, and your girlfriend suddenly thinks you’d be “better off as friends”? Immediate and decisive action is necessary.

The only way to keep her is to turn her around. Change how she sees you, or how she thinks she sees you. So stop her mid-sentence. Grab her, kiss her, and tell her:

“I don’t want a friend. I want YOU. We’re good together, and there’s no planet in the universe where I can see us being ‘just friends’ with each other.”

It’s firm. It’s assertive. It’s a strong counter to what she’s trying to do. And if she persists? Tell her:

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you as my girlfriend. You’re awesome. Too awesome to just be my friend. So either we date or we don’t date, and both options are cool with me. But I’m flat out telling you, there’s no middle ground.”

In most cases, your girlfriend won’t be ready for this. She’s looking to “try” the breakup out, almost like a gift she can return if she’s not happy with it. Instead, you’re giving her a no refunds policy. You’re telling her (not asking her) in no uncertain terms what’s going to happen next. In short, you’re taking the reins.

From there, you have your work cut out for you. Start being the guy she WANTS and not the all-too accommodating, girlfriend-worshipping pushover you have been. Step up your game. Take her places that give her no doubt in her mind that you are her boyfriend and nothing else.

Check out this list of traits women find attractive in men. As you start to exhibit them, you’ll find yourself much more successful – both in life, your job, and also with women – than you’ve ever been before.

And if you’re already ‘on a break’ or you’ve already agreed to be friends with your girlfriend? Check out this complete 6-step process on How to Win Her Back.

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