It’s hard to stay silent after a breakup. Especially when so many connections still linger between you and your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
Some of those connections will be emotional. No matter how a relationship ends, it always began with fire and passion. The start of every romance is filled with overwhelming amounts of attraction, and in time, strong emotional bonds and feelings are formed that are most times hard to break.
Other connections will be electronic, such as Facebook, Instagram, and especially texting.
In fact, more than 75% of all breakups don’t end at the phone; texting between those people continue, whether they end up getting back together with an ex or not.
If you’re in the situation where you’d like to fix your breakup, you’ll need to know HOW and WHEN to communicate with your ex. Calling at the wrong time, or saying the wrong thing, can often lead to disastrous results. You may have already experienced some of that, and your breakup already got off on the wrong foot.
Texting, just like calling, has its own set of rules and etiquettes. Should you still text with your ex? When is it okay to send a message? Even more important: what should you text to your ex when you want them back?
Below are three very quick ways you can use text-messaging to break the awkward silence after a breakup. Read them carefully first, and before doing anything else, make sure you know every single one of the rules and regulations of post-relationship texting, as these will help prepare you for your former lover’s response.
#1) The ‘I’m on Your Side Now’ Text
Most people who get dumped fight too hard too soon. Yes, you want the relationship back, but what you don’t understand is that right now? Your ex will do everything in his or her power to deflect any points you might make in that regard.
The longer you try to get your ex back, the worse things get. Your former lover will see you as pushing too hard, not taking no for an answer, and looking totally lame (and desperate) in the process.
What your ex doesn’t expect however, is for you to suddenly be on the same page as them. Which is why this first text works so well:
“Hey, I’m totally with you now on the whole breakup thing. We really ARE better off apart. Sorry it took so long for me to get it, but at least I did
before we started hating each other (LOL). Take it easy!”
This is essentially a brush-off. Your ex already rejected you as a partner, and this is your chance to counter-reject them. And now that you’re NOT fighting them tooth and nail to stay together with them? Your ex sees you as more of an equal – and even an ally – rather than someone beneath them trying to claw their way back to their level.
This text might seem pretty final, yet it’s anything but. Consider it the first stepping stone on the road to getting back together again.
Here’s a great video all about this opening move. Be sure to watch the whole thing, because it helps you better visualize what to do next.
#2) The Congratulatory or Happy Birthday Text
The only contact you should be making with your ex right now is welcomed contact. Anything else, and your ex will take it as you grasping desperately to get the relationship back (and you never, ever want to look desperate).
Congratulations is always welcome, especially if it’s something you know your ex has been trying to do for a long time. So if your ex graduated? That’s a great text to send him or her. If your ex got a recent promotion, or bought a new car, or something else happened that’s good in their life? Again, this is a good excuse to send them a very small, very simple:
“Hey, I heard you finally got promoted. Good deal! Hope everything’s great by you.”
This is an ice-breaker, and an innocent one as well. It also works with birthdays. And the longer you dated your boyfriend or girlfriend? The better this techniques works. You already shared big parts of your lives with each other, so it will only seem natural to share a quick congratulations on something that happened afterward.
#3) The ‘Familiarity’ Text Message
With this one, you want to use something you know your ex is familiar with. Preferably something you shared or loved together, while you were still dating.
Did you like a certain movie, and the sequel is coming out? How about music; did you attend a concert together, and that band is coming around again? A television series you always watched, and a new season is coming out?
“Hey, Survivor starts tonight! Had to tell you, in case you forgot to set your DVR!”
This is a conversation-starter. Chances are good your ex will ask what this season of Survivor is about, and who might be on it. If the conversation goes well, you might mention how much you miss watching it together. And if it goes very well, maybe your ex will invite you over – platonically or not – to enjoy it with them.
Basically, you need to pick something that was ‘yours’ together. Something cool and fun that will spark nothing but good memories of old times between you. Your goal is to put yourself back in your ex’s head, without really doing anything obvious. This right here is a great way to do it.
There are many other ways to get your ex’s attention again, even without the use of text messages. But again, you need to know when to do it… how to do it… before even thinking about making that first, tentative contact.Share this: