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3 Things to Say (and NOT Say) When Talking to Your EX

Nervous around your ex? Not sure how to talk to them?

talking-to-your-ex

Not knowing what to say – and how to act – around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is a very common thing. And if you’re still trying to repair your broken relationship? It’s especially critical that you know EXACTLY what to say (and not say!)

Think about how awkward this is. One minute you’re totally in love and able to say or do anything to each other… and the next minute it’s totally hands off. You go from being lovers to being nothing. You go from being best friends to being nothing more than casual acquaintances.

In some cases you might even be avoiding your ex because you don’t know how to act around them. And this can lead to even more awkwardness. More distance between you.

First, understand that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is just as uncomfortable as you are. Stop putting them up on some pedestal where they’re in total control and you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Do that, and you will be nothing but an emotional wreck, because you’re psyching yourself out before you even get started.

To win back the respect – and ultimately the love – of your ex, you’ll need to do one thing: make yourself desirable again in their eyes. Because at one time? They were head-over-heels ready to date you. And now they’re not.

You do this by maintaining CONTROL. I can’t express this enough: if you give control over to your former boyfriend or girlfriend, then they – and they alone – are the one who’s responsible for whether or not you get back together again.

Be Sure to Hype Yourself Up

When seeing your ex again for the first time, you should seem absolutely excited. No, not excited to see them. Excited for your life in general.

The more fun you seem to be having, the more jealous your boyfriend or girlfriend will be of you. That’s because it’s human nature to want to see you NOT having fun without them.

Making sure you’re totally pumped and doing great and having a kickass time WITHOUT THEM is the perfect way to set your ex on his or her back foot. Right off the bat they’ll feel uncomfortable – especially if they’re the one who initiated the breakup – simply because you seem to be doing so well without them.

Talk About What You’re Doing – But Be Mysterious

Chances are your ex will ask you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, etc… That’s normal. But what your ex is really doing is trying to gauge just how much you really miss them.

Your former boyfriend or girlfriend wants to see you upset, mopey, distraught… so make sure you talk about all the cool things you’ve been up to, even if you have to embellish a bit. Go places and do things that are fun to talk about, so the next time you see or talk to or even text-message with your ex, you can mention these things to make them jealous.

At the same time however, never give them too much information. The more details that are left out, the more that’s left to your ex’s imagination. Remember: you want to create longing and desire again. You need to be cool, fun, hip and mysterious. They should want to know more about you, which will lead them to want you again.

Tell Your Ex it’s Good to See Them Again

Most people avoid their exes like the plague after a breakup. And when they do see them? They avoid eye contact and try not to converse at all.

To win back this person’s admiration and respect, you need to face up to them. Smile. Laugh. Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them it’s good to see them again. And then?

Walk away.

To make someone need you back in their life, you have to create a void where they used to be. By going away – even if it’s by not answering the phone or text-messages – you’re creating a giant gap in this person’s life where they’re used to hearing from you.

Believe it or not, your ex relies on you, even after the breakup. By taking away that safety net, you’re causing them to doubt their decision to break up with you in the first place — especially if you’re smiling and saying “hey, how are you?” when you see them rather than avoid eye contact and slink away.

Three Things NOT to Say to Your Ex

In talking with your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend, there are 7 common mistakes that will always drive them away. LEARN WHAT THESE ARE! Because if you commit more than two or three of them, you might as well not even try to win them back at all.

That said, there are three things to NEVER do when talking about things with your ex:

• DON’T BE MISERABLE. Your ex won’t feel pity for you. In fact, seeing you miserable is the one thing that will make them realize they did the right thing in breaking up. And that’s because it certainly seems like you need them a lot more than they need you.

• DON’T TALK ABOUT THE BREAK. Nothing says desperation like constantly bringing up the breakup. Whether you’re trying to reverse the breakup or play the blame game, you can’t gain any ground this way.

• DON’T APOLOGIZE. Yes, even if you’re the one who was wrong! Apologizing once again ratifies that your ex is right and you’re wrong. Which makes staying broken up a forgone conclusion!

If you want to learn the complete, step by step process to getting back together, make sure you read it through completely before trying anything. That’s because usually? You only get one good shot at a reconciliation. One good “listen” on your ex’s part.

Everything after that is an uphill climb.

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The REAL Reason He’s Still Texting You After the Breakup

Confused by the fact your ex boyfriend still texts you? Don’t be. This is one of the most common things that can happen after a breakup.

texting-after-breakup

And it’s also very, very telling.

Look at it this way: if your ex is still sending texts beyond the day he broke up with you, chances are good he’s not 100% ready to let you go.

Any guy looking to ditch you forever is never going to do something that might be construed as leading you on.

Why? Because, to be brutally honest, he’s trying to get rid of you.

That’s why texting after a breakup is so important. It tells a lot about how your exboyfriend feels. It can also be a big indication as to whether or not he wants you back.

The first thing to look for are the 7 Signs He’s Still Interested. If you spot more than 3 of these, your relationship might be salvageable purely on the basis that you ex isn’t ready to move on.

It’s All About Control

First and foremost, text-messaging you is one way for your ex boyfriend to maintain control.

Yes, he broke up with you. Yes, you can “technically” do whatever you want. But as long as YOU think there’s still a chance of getting back together (and hell, you still want to get back together), you’re not going to screw that up by going out and dating someone else.

Your ex knows this. That’s why he’ll use text-messages as a method of control. A way of showing you just enough interest to keep stringing you along… but not enough interest that you’re back together as a couple.

It’s All About Spying on You

Texting you is also a way for your ex to keep you from seeing other people. Simple, seemingly-innocent texts such as “hey, what did you do today?” are actually your exboyfriend’s way of spying on you. He’s going to know if you’re out doing something he doesn’t want you to do. He’ll even use guilt texts to keep you from doing stuff, with the vague promise of “maybe one day… someday… we’ll get back together”.

Think about it. Has your ex said stuff like:

“I’ll always love you”

and

“We’re definitely meant to be together… maybe just not right now.”

This is because he’s stringing you along. He wants you to stay away so he can do what he wants (and possibly date other girls), but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to go away entirely.

In short, he wants to keep an eye on you. You know, just in case his next relationship fails… or he gets lovesick about your previous romance and suddenly wants you back.

What Does it Mean When he Drunk Texts You

There are two times when your former boyfriend is at his weakest: late at night when he’s alone, and when he’s drunk.

At night, being lonely, your ex will start reminiscing about the good times you shared together. He might send you a “hey” text message, or something more meaningful (and honest) like “thinking about you”. Either way, he is thinking about you. And if you want him back, that’s a good thing.

Drunk texts are a similar matter. When your ex is inebriated his guard is down. This allows his true feelings to come out; often he’ll suppress his real feelings and/or love for you because he’s trying to be “tough” or keep the breakup going. But when he’s drunk? That wall falls away, and his heart is a lot more exposed.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

If you don’t want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM. Anything you do or say — no matter how innocent — will be construed as interest.

If you actually do want your ex back? DON’T ANSWER HIM! At least not right away. Creating space and unavailability is the first step in creating longing again. And you can’t get him back until he actually longs for an needs you.

Now, there’s also a step-by-step blueprint for Texting Your Ex Back. This is basically a series of text-messages you can send him that will, if you time it right, actually make him want YOU.

Learn about these texts if you’re interested in reversing your breakup. And remember, no matter what: texting after the breakup ALWAYS means something!

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Why Does My Ex Keep Sending Mixed Signals?

So they broke up with you… then they call you. They tell you to leave them alone, then you get a late-night text message from them…

What gives? Is your ex just doing all this to torture you, or do they really have some kind of unknown agenda in mind?

Ex Sending Mixed Signals

Mixed signals are some of the hardest things to figure out when dealing with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. The hot-and-cold nature of speaking to someone who isn’t sure of what they want can be confusing and infuriating, not to mention the roller-coaster ride of hope and hopelessness you’re forced to go on when your ex keeps stringing you along.

The first thing to understand here is that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also going through a breakup. Just because he or she seemed sure about ending things doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing many of the same things you are.

Heartbreak, loneliness – these things are running through your ex’s mind too. Since they’re the ones who decided to break up, the decision still weighs heavily on them, and usually for some time afterward. Even if your ex started seeing someone new, there will always be lingering emotional ties. And some of these ties will be so strong, that they feel compelled to get in touch with you, or even ask to see you again.

How to Handle it When Your Ex Calls or Texts

Any contact from your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is almost universally a sign of interest. Unless they’re getting back in touch to pick up something they left at your place (and even sometimes then), they’re contacting you because they have a NEED for such contact. This need is fulfilled the minute you pick up the phone or text them back, so you should be very careful with how you respond. If you’re not in agreement with the breakup and really want them back? Answering them right away might seem a little needy or desperate on your part.

The worst thing you could do at this point is ‘chase’ your ex through these hot and cold moments. Because sometimes, all they want from you is the knowledge you’re still there. You’ll get ex boyfriends or girlfriends who give you the:

“Hi! Just wanted to make sure you’re okay with everything…”

This is basically for their benefit and not yours; your ex really doesn’t care much about how you’re doing at this point, but care more about whether or not you’re still ‘around’ in case they decide to call off the breakup. Whether you tell them you’re okay or NOT okay doesn’t matter. What matters is you answered them, and this is pretty much all they really wanted.

Another thing an ex will do is try to string you along with stuff like:

“I’ll always love you, but I’m just not in love with you.”

This is the equivalent of putting you on a shelf for later on. You’ve been Friend-Zoned. Put somewhere you have no power, yet still have to answer to your ex if they happen to need you for moral support, a dilemma, or just a shoulder to cry on.

Allow yourself to be put on this shelf, and you’re effectively ending any chance you might have of being with this person again. Because whenever you play the “I’ll be there for you” game, you’re only going to be there when HE or SHE needs you, and not when you need something from them.

Texting Your Ex – What to Do After the Breakup

There are a lot of texts that happen after relationships end, and you should know how to respond to them. Some texts might come off as innocent, but in reality they’re really not.

You can even use other texts to help get your ex back. These you need to know inside and out before you send them however, because not texting your ex the right thing can have big consequences that negatively affect your ability to look positive and favorable in their eyes.

Ultimately, how you handle talking to or even seeing your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is up to you. It eventually boils down to how much you want to include them in your life, or whether you’re trying to cut them loose altogether. Each way, contact should be something you’re careful with. You’ve been hurt once, and you don’t want to get hurt again.

There are 6 Individual Steps necessary to Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend, so find out what they are!

And for women trying to fix a breakup? Check out the same 6 steps with a slightly different perspective at How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.

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Ex Back Review: The Ex Factor Guide

There are a lot of Get Your Ex Back systems out there, and some of them are pretty good. A select few of them are actually great, and that’s where the Ex Factor Guide falls on the scale of being helpful, informative, and most of all, getting results.

The first thing you’ll notice about Brad Browning’s system is that it’s not one, but TWO individual guides. One is designed for men who are trying to get back with an ex girlfriend, the other is for women who want their boyfriends back. Each guide contains different information, specific to the wants and needs of each gender. Because let’s face it, all throughout every relationship men and women often find themselves wanting VERY different things.

A bit about Brad Browning: the man is a relationship expert and total wizard when it comes to the analysis – and solution – of a breakup. He treats your breakup almost as a mathematical equation, identifying cause and effect, then deriving the EXACT solution needed for your own particular relationship situation. Brad’s extensive knowledge is peppered with bits of wisdom, not only for fixing a broken romance, but for attracting and keeping members of the opposite sex.

After reading Ex Factor you’ll come away with strength, confidence, and the knowledge needed to start making positive changes to the situation that exists between you and your ex. Best of all, it works fast. In a very short time you’ll have your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend curious about you, and ultimately, needing to hear from you again.

Ex Factor Guide Videos

Another big reason Browning’s system is so popular: VIDEOS.

Aside from the more than 160+ page guide, the system also includes a series of comprehensive, no-bullshit videos starring Brad Browning himself.

These are informative and inspiring; you’ll get all kinds of tips and tricks to minimizing the damage caused when your ex broke up with you, and maximizing whatever existing feelings and emotional attachments are still there.

Yet even before that, you’ll learn to stop making common mistakes that could be destroying your chances of ever getting back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. This is an absolute must-see. Most of the time, people who fail to fix their breakup do so because of one thing: they made too many mistakes. In short, they shot themselves in the foot before they even had a chance at fixing things.

Outlined within this guide you’ll learn:

  • The REAL reason your girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you (which is very often not what you think).
  • 20 Desirable characteristics that will create an instant attraction with any person of the opposite sex.
  • The 6 deadly mistakes that most people make immediately after being dumped by someone. Making too many of these can push your ex to the breaking point.
  • How long to go ‘No Contact’, and exactly what to do during this phase that will get your ex’s attention again.
  • 4 Jaw-dropping ways to make your ex jealous; using jealousy to get your ex to reconsider your value is one of the biggest lessons you can learn in getting them to want you again.
  • A comprehensive guide to contacting your ex: how to make them call YOU, when to see them, and what to say when you do start communicating with each other again.
  • Examples of what you should be texting your ex, and when you should send those text-messages.
  • A full-blown blueprint for your reunion date – how to reignite your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend’s original attraction for you.
  • Precisely when to seduce your ex, and how to go about using that intimacy to bring the two of you together again.

Keep in mind this is just some of the things you’ll learn in Brad’s Ex Factor Guide. All the advice you receive, and videos you watch, will be tailored specifically to gender of the person you’re trying to get back. Guys will learn exactly what most women are looking for in giving you a second shot. Girls will find a full list of things important to man, and how to use that list to make him want you as his boyfriend again, and not just as a friend or acquaintance.

You can watch Brad Browning’s free introductory videos here:

[This one for men]
[This one for women]

Make sure you check them out – there’s a ton of useful stuff packed in just these 8 minutes of information. And you’ll also get a better sense of what Brad is like; he has a way of speaking and conveying his message that’s almost addictive in his delivery.

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Why is Your Ex Still Texting You After the Breakup?

Text-messaging… it’s a huge part of our daily lives. And when it comes to dating, it’s an equally large part of the communication between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

During your relationship you probably sent tens of thousands of texts back and forth to your lover. Little ones. Big long ones. Smiley emoticons and heavy sexting and everything in between.

Ex Still Texting You After The Breakup?

So when your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you, did you really expect it would all end? Did you think your ex would delete your number from his or her phone, and that would be it?

In reality, a lot of communication and text-messaging goes on these days POST-breakup. And that’s not just out of habit. Because if your ex is still texting you even after they’ve dumped you? If they’re still hammering out messages just for the sake of keeping in touch with you?

It’s a sure sign of only one thing:

Your ex still has some level of feelings for you.

Think about it for a second. If your ex really wanted out, they’re already gone. They don’t have to text you. They don’t have to keep in touch. And yes, I know they’re doing it under the guise of “we’re still friends” or the dreaded “I just wanted to see how you’re doing”, but truth be told, this person is keeping those lines of communication open for some very simple and selfish reasons: they don’t want you going anywhere just yet.

No, if your ex still texts after dumping you it’s because they’re not 100% sure. They could be 70, 80, 90% sure… but that lingering doubt is what’s keeping them from cutting you loose and deleting your contact information from their phone altogether.

What to Do if Your Ex is Still Texting You

If you’re trying to get back together but your ex won’t budge, it’s still a great sign you’re getting these messages. Even better, you can USE these messages as a tool to not only draw them closer again, but to actually get them to want you back.

First, check out this crazy but cool video on EXACTLY what to do when you start receiving texts from an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend. It’ll teach you pretty much everything you need to know about sending and receiving text-based communication after your relationship has already ended.

Next, understand that TOO much communication at this point is bad. This is because your ex is relying on these texts to still get their “fix” of you. By entertaining entire conversations with them, you’re giving them exactly what they want. Moreover, exactly what they need to keep themselves level-headed and going forward with the breakup.

Your goal here should be to make your ex MISS you. You’ll want them to need to hear from you – to actually crave all the cute little conversations and back-and-forth stuff you used to do each night, every morning, and all throughout the day.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Might Love and Need You

And remember, text-messaging is only one of the bigger red flags that your former boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t yet over the relationship. There are lots of other signs too, and knowing what these are can really help nail the correct timing of the 6-step reconciliation process.

Ultimately, any time your ex wants to stay in touch it’s an indication of general interest. In all cases, play it cool. Don’t chase. If you let your ex initiate most of the conversations, the balance of power will shift slowly back in your favor. You never want to feel as if your communication is unwanted. If you find yourself asking the question “do I text him/her too much?” the answer is already ‘yes’.

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