How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back From His New Girlfriend
Did your boyfriend break up with you, and before you could fix the relationship he started dating someone else? There are not many worse feelings than this one, romance-wise anyway. Basically you have two choices: either you give up, or you fight for your ex back. If you're looking for ways to win back your ex-boyfriend from another woman, the following tips and techniques will get you started.
The first thing you need is hope. Understand that in this situation, you're certainly not alone. Couples break up every day, but many also get back together. If you were dating your ex for a while, chances are the new girl he's seeing is probably nothing more than a rebound relationship. He's avoiding having to deal with your break up by replacing it with a different distraction. The fact that he's with someone else doesn't necessarily mean he has no more feelings for you.
To get started on the road to winning your boyfriend back, you'll need to do the following things and in the following order. Remember that this road is long, and you won't be able to fix your break up overnight. Stay focused, and have patience. If you're dedicated to the long-term goal of making your ex want you back, your chances of success are very good.
Step One: Accept His New Girlfriend
One of the first things you'll need to do is accept the fact that your ex is dating. It's very easy to go into denial here, or to lash out and rebel against him seeing this new girl by filling yourself with seething anger. Both of these things will hurt your chances of getting back together with your ex.
Your exboyfriend will avoid you rather quickly if he thinks you're angry, and he'll also steer clear of you if he thinks you're in denial about his new love interest. He's trying to protect his budding romance here. He doesn't want you going all crazy whenever you're around her. Be sane, be cool, and be accepting of what he's doing. Not only will he appreciate your candor, he'll also start wondering what irons you've got going in your own fire, since you're being so ultra cool about things.
Drop Off Your Ex-Boyfriend's Social Map
The next thing that needs to happen: you need to disappear. As sad as it sounds, as hard as it is... you'll need to drop out of sight and go completely without communication from your exboyfriend. This means you cannot email him, you cannot call him, and you certainly can't see him. Even the smallest text-message can undo days or weeks of being incommunicado.
What you're doing here is trying to make your ex miss you, and there are some special tactics that can speed up the process. He can't miss you if you're always around - even in the smallest capacity. Aside from missing you, your ex will also be pondering your own situation. He's expecting a call, he's expecting you to be jealous of his new girlfriend. By showing him that you don't care? You're actually confusing him. Doing the opposite of what your ex thinks you will is always good.
Re-Establish First Contact
Once you've piqued your exboyfriend's interest by pulling your disappearing act, it's time to make casual contact again. You can't do this until you're ready to smile in the face of his new relationship, however. When you talk to or see your ex again, it should be a happy accident (bump-into meeting?) or a friendly phone call made for a specific reason. For example, if you still have something of his, you may want to call and let him know he can come get it. However you do it, you'll need to make your ex-boyfriend feel comfortable that you've completely moved on. The more you can convince him of this, the better. Don't ask him anything about his new girlfriend, but if he offers to bring it up tell him you wish him well. Smile like you mean it, but don't overdo it or he'll know. Keep the meeting or conversation very short, here. You don't want to accomplish anything right now other than to just get back into his head. Getting your ex back from someone else requires smaller, more careful steps.
Build a Secret Friendship
A few days after seeing or hearing from your ex again, shoot him a quick email. First, you'll need to have a question to ask him. Make it something small and insignificant; for example, pick a place or restaurant you went together and ask him what the name of it was. Tell him you're about to go there, and need to map directions to it. Then slip in the message that it was good to see him again. Also try to say something funny, just to keep things light. Your ex will respond in turn, and from there you can probably spin off a small email conversation or two. Keep it going over the course of a few days, and start to build a little penpal relationship with him again. This is the beginnings of what will become a secret friendship - one that his new girlfriend doesn't have to know anything about.
Establish Neutral Trust
As you carry out this new internet relationship with your ex, keep things very non-serious. Never bad mouth or say anything derogatory about your ex's new girlfriend... but always let him talk about her. Before long, he'll test those waters. As you respond without prejudice, he'll begin confiding in you about his current relationship. Listen to him. Make note of what his likes and dislikes about her, and look for cracks or fissures in that relationship. You're putting yourself in position here, and gathering information you can exploit later on to help build passive resentment within your ex's new romance. At the same time, you're placing yourself back into his life in a social capacity. As he gets close to you again though this underground contact, you can make your ex want you even more than ever... by moving on to the next step in the process: taking yourself away.
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