Should I Call Him? Knowing When To Make First Contact
Dating is hard, and breaking up even more so. Knowing when it's okay to call your ex boyfriend is one of the biggest concerns after a relationship ends, especially if you want your ex back.
Learning not only when to call but also what to say is a critical part of the reconciliation process, and can make or break any possible reunion with your exboyfriend.
If you've been agonizing over a break up, the first thing to realize is you're not alone. Maybe your boyfriend asked for some time off from your relationship... maybe he just "wanted some space"... or perhaps he even broke up with you completely. But no matter what the case, you're asking yourself that one big question: should I call him? And if so, what should I say?
Everybody goes through this very tough period at one time or another. When you're still in love with your ex and trying to put your broken relationship back together, knowing when to make contact is a tough call. If you call him too soon, there's a good chance you'll scare him away. Guys are turned off by neediness and desperation, and that's exactly how you'll come off if you're chasing after your ex too quickly or too much.
At the same time, waiting too long to call your ex can sometimes be bad too. Eventually, your exboyfriend may show signs of interest in someone else, or start dating another girl altogether. When this happens, there are methods you can use to get your ex back from another girl, but the type of heartache associated with that scenario is the worst of all.
Choosing The Right Time To Contact Your Ex
Somewhere in between those two time periods, there's a middle ground. When you should call your ex depends upon how badly he needs to hear from you, and how long you've managed to keep out of his sight after the break up. The less your boyfriend knows about your post-breakup life, the more he's going to be curious. And the less you've chased after or shown a need for him, the more he'll have a need to be wanted by you. These things are simple human nature: every guy on the planet who's ever broken up with a girl still wants her to want him. Even if he's not ready to get back together just yet, it's nice to feel like he could get you back whenever he wanted.
For this reason, you shouldn't initially be making contact. Instead of asking yourself when should I call him, you should be asking when is my ex boyfriend going to call me. Because if you can keep up his interest to the point where he needs to know what you're up to? Then knowing when to make contact with your ex doesn't really matter... he'll take care of that little problem by calling you up instead.
What Can You Do To Make Your Ex Want You Again?
So what can you do to make your ex want you back? Lots of things. The biggest one is to focus on recreating the person you were at the time he fell in love with you. Think about that for a minute. Your boyfriend fell in love with a fun, exciting, happy person who shared the same interests as him. If you're not that person anymore, it's going to be impossible to get him back. Walking around depressed or hopeless about your situation doesn't put forward a very attractive package - your ex will be a lot more apt to notice you if you seem relaxed, content, and glad to be moving on with bigger and better things. In fact, the happier you are, the more he'll wonder why he let you go to begin with.
Creating a situation in which your ex boyfriend begins questioning the breakup is a major step on the path to getting him back. If you should happen to call him, you're going to undo much of the mystery you created around yourself by dropping out of sight. Not contacting your ex after he breaks up with you is better than anything you might "do" to get him back. This includes even the most heartfelt cards and loveletters, emails, text-messages, or whatever else you may have been planning. By giving your ex a ton of space, you're allowing him time to really start to miss you. When he hasn't heard from you, your ex will start thinking about your relationship again simply because his mind will be nagging him about what you're up to.
Breaking No Contact - How To Make That First Connection
After an established period of no contact, there are ways of reopening the lines of communication between you. After all, you can't get back your ex boyfriend without seeing or talking to him first! But before you run to the phone, know what you're going to say. Also know how you're going to say it. And when should I call him? Later in the evening is best. His day is over, his defenses are down, and as the light of the day fades from his window, your ex will be a lot more apt to be lonely. When to contact your ex is almost as important as how to contact him. Know the right times and places for this type of communication, because it can really affect the outcome of the exboyfriend phone call.
By unlocking the secrets to calling your exboyfriend, you can greatly increase the chance that you'll be back in his arms again. Learn what to do and when to do it, before making that crucial first move.
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