What Should You Say When an Ex Girlfriend Calls You?
No relationship is over until both parties go their separate ways, which is why couples get back together all the time. If you're trying to fix a break up, you'll need to have a definite plan of attack when it comes to getting back your ex girlfriend.
are you just gonna wing it?
Still, knowing what to say when your ex calls you can be pretty difficult. This is exactl why you have to be careful with how you handle the ex girlfriend phone call.
One of the trickiest things to handle during reconciliation is communication with your ex. If your girlfriend broke up with you and you want her back, you'll need to reestablish contact at one point or another.
Getting your ex to call you is the ideal situation, and there are many techniques you can use to accomplish this task. But knowing what to say when your ex finally does reach out and call you? It's the most important part of successfully getting your exgirlfriend to see you again.
There are many reasons why your ex might call you. She may be contacting you for something innocent and simple, or her reasoning may be a lot more complex. Identifying and understanding the signs that your ex still loves and wants you is crucial to determining her reason for calling.
Do it correctly, and you can use this knowledge to put her in a more receptive mood toward opening up or even seeing you again. But when your ex makes first contact with you after the break up, you need to take things slow.
If you're asking "what do I say when my ex girlfriend calls me?" - you're definitely on the right track to being proactive. How you handle this call is enormously important, because saying the right things can help win back your girlfriend. At the same time however, saying the wrong things can send her running for the hills. You have to proceed carefully, but the following are all pretty good guidelines for handling this sort of contact, regardless of the circumstances of your break up:
Things to Avoid While on the Phone With Your Ex Girlfriend
- Acting too excited to hear from her
- Showing residual bitterness or anger over the break up
- Sounding desperate in any way, shape, or form
- Talking about your break up
- Asking her who she's been with, or if she's seeing someone
- Demanding to know things that aren't your business (i.e. Interrogating her)
- Becoming confrontational or argumentative
- Spending too much time on the phone
The above behaviors are all big turn-offs, and they'll destroy any chance of your ex wanting to call you again. Try to remember that when your exgirlfriend calls you, she's placing herself in a vulnerable position. It took courage for her to dial your numbers, so you need to give her credit for that by making her as comfortable as possible.
Your ex probably called because she's curious - if you did the right thing by dropping out of sight for a while and breaking contact after she broke up with you, she's trying to gain some information. Odds are good that ex girlfriend wants to know where you went, who you're with, and most of all, why you haven't been chasing her. This is where it's important to know the signs and signals that she's still interested, or whether she just called to feel you out because she's nursing a bruised ego.
If your ex is exceptionally friendly on the phone, wants to stay on with you a long time, asks if you've met someone, or even suggests getting together for lunch - these are just some of the signs that she's still not over your relationship. There are a many others too, so learn what to look for.
So What Do I Say When My Ex Girlfriend Calls Me?
Good question. While the words that come out of your mouth are very important, just as important are the words that you don't say. Your voice, your tone, how long you stay on the phone... all of these are tremendous factors when it comes to talking to you ex girlfriend. So what should you say? Something pretty much similiar to this:
"Hey, how's things? It's good to hear from you!"
Always greet your ex by letting her know it's nice to hear from her. Sound happy that she called, but don't sound overly thrilled by it (even though you might be). After the greeting, let your ex make whatever small talk she wants, and answer in turn. She'll probably explain why she called, but whatever reason she gives just accept and acknowledge it. When she asks about you, let her know you're doing great. At the same time though, don't go into too much in the way of specifics. The more vague you can be, the more mystery you can keep. This will capture your ex's interest and maintain her curiosity - which is likely one of the big reasons why she called.
The exgirlfriend phone call should last no more than three minutes. If you go to five, you've been on the phone way too long. Perhaps most important, you want to get off the phone on your own terms. You can accomplish that by saying something like:
"Look, I hate to run like this but I've got a thousand different things going on right now. I've got to go, but give me a call next week or something?"
An incredible number of things happen when you end the call like this. Let's break them down:
First, you appeared unbelievably busy or preoccupied with something, yet you still stopped whatever you were doing to talk to her. This will make her still feel important to you, and that's good.
Second, you gave very little in the way of details. Her natural curiosity will kick her brain into overdrive here, filling her head with questions: What's he up to? Where's he going? Is he with someone? Did he start dating again? Why didn't he mention where he was going? These questions are tremendously important to generating interest, which will make her call again or maybe even set up a reunion date to catch up on all these things.
Third, and most important, you made your ex girlfriend agree to call you back. You did it fast, sneaky, and quick - before she even had a chance to notice it. She didn't even have time to agree or disagree, because you were about to hang up, so your question was more of a statement than anything else. Whether she answered or not doesn't matter... in the end, the result is the same: you didn't offer to call her back, you told her to call you.
The last thing you did was more subtle, and she might not even notice it until a little bit later: you snuck the words "next week" into that last sentence. What does that mean? It's almost as if you're too busy this week to be bothered by your ex, so you're putting her off until next week. Her head will spin as she tries to figure out what's so busy that it's more important than talking to her. And as the night goes on, she'll ask another question: how you can be so busy that you actually ditched her phone call to go do something else?
Looking back at this phone call, something important just happened: you took back control of the break up. All of that power she had when she dumped you? Some of it's gone now, seized by you in the blink of an eye. Up until now your ex was positive you wanted her back... but now she's not so sure. It doesn't seem like you were anxious or desperate to hear from her, and it doesn't even seem like you care whether she calls you next week at all.
Instead of asking the question "What should I say when my ex girlfriend calls me?" - instead, KNOW what to say. In just one three-minute phone conversation you can change the course of your exgirlfriend's entire thinking. Reversing your break up hinges upon changes like this one - seemingly small situations that can be changed radically by subtle means. Winning your exgirlfriend back is nothing more than walking this path, a series of simple steps that lead her back into your arms again.
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